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How to Kiss Like in

Readers Respond: What is Your Magic Formula for a Perfect or a Great Marriage?

Responses: 9


In talking about choosing a spouse, Michelle Obama said "Cute's good. But cute only lasts for so long, and then it's, 'Who are you as a person?' Don't look at the bankbook or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul. When you're dating a man, you should always feel good. ... You shouldn't be in a relationship with somebody who doesn't make you completely happy and make you feel whole." Source: Michael Y. Park. "Michelle Obama's Secrets to Finding a Great Guy." People.com. 10/28/2009.

That approach could be considered a magic formula for a perfect or a great marriage. Readers share their magic formula

The Little Things

My family always says "I love you" before they hang up the phone and my parents always kiss goodbye before one of them leaves the house. I am doing the same with my husband, plus I find him and kiss him first thing when I get home. It is easy to get distracted by life and not give your spouse any attention. Little loving habits can bridge the gaps in stressful times and serve as a daily reminder that this person is important and special to you.
—Guest Tricia

Magic Formula For a Great Marriage

I decided I will make a sacrifice to start my spouse's day with wonderful home made breakfast in the best plates and cups I got and a prayer for as long as I live. I also make sure I check on him twice a day just to see how his day is .... and not to make any demands for anything. In case he is in a meeting and can not pick up the phone I just leave a message and let him call back at his convenience. Sometimes he runs late and can not pray with me in the morning and this was not easy at first but I changed these moments into an opportunity to intercede for him and pray for all his needs. This has given us a chance to reconnect. I am not sure he has noticed this but it has worked in great ways. I settled for breakfast and calling him to check on him because it takes no effort (I have always loved cooking breakfast). We have lots of ups and downs together in life but at the end of the day we make an effort to pray together and give thanks.
—Guest Joy

PAIRS Marriage Education Classes

I tell everyone about this class. It taught my husband and I skills that improved our communication, strengthened our bonding, and transformed our relationship!
—Guest Donna

Loving God in Marriage

I have found that trying very hard to have a successful marriage does not always lead to successful marriage. Concocting a 'magic formula' is similarly unsuccessful. I have found that there is a profound need for God. Also, I rely on older and more eloquent teachers to help put ideas into words. Here is one of the men I trust (Paul Tripp) to point me towards God and the type of marriage God expects of people who love Him.
—Guest jpierson

Pray and Listen

Many people have different views for a great marriage ... but I prefer to pray to God and ask him to show the way. By keeping quiet and listening to what you partner is saying will even make him realize that he has said a lot. Let him cool down and speak about the wrongs and rights he had spoken ... He will surely understand.
—Guest Priya Lal

43 years of bliss

"Water your garden eveyday. Even with small doses of water. If you don't the garden will eventually wilt and die."


Talking, crying, praying and holding on tight to each other and the love and bond we know we were blessed with. We have been given a wonderful gift and we both are very aware of this. We have had ups and downs and at the end of every day no matter what is going on we are thankful for the love we share. This is something that is priceless, and at times it's like a fairy tale. I still get the same feelings, tingles ... after all these years and I even hear our children and grandchildren tell my husband and I to get a room when they see us kiss or dancing in our home. Remembering what is really important in life makes everything else very easy to over look.
—Guest Laura


The magic formula is to be equal when handling a conflict or an issue. The couple should win together without a loser or lose together without a winner. This equality guarantees a high self esteem for both because it takes two people to cause a problem and the two are still needed to solve the problem.
—Guest Paul Mwangi

Secret magic formula?

While I agree with what Mrs. Obama said, it isn't anything that we haven't all heard before. It's not really a "secret" (as claimed in the linked article), just common knowledge. (The *opposite* of a secret, you might say.)
—Guest Catnip

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