From the article: Know When to Call It Quits When You Wonder if You Should Stay or Go
Knowing when to call it quits in your marriage is one of the hardest decisions a person has to make. Even though the decision to divorce is usually made when all other options have been tried, you may feel regret about getting divorced. If you do feel regrets about getting a divorce, what are they? Are there things you did you wish you could change? What would you do differently? Share Your Thoughts
- At they fail to tell you is the wide range of emotions divorce will take you on. My heart is broken and I am sad. Two days ago my divorce was finalized. After the shock wore off, I know regret it. I still love him and he love me, but together we are terrible. He suffers from depression and that has dragged our relationship through hell and back. My heart is protected from him but it will not stop loving him. Now I just feel lost, alone and empty with out him but to be with him is heart break.
- —Guest broken
I Do Regret Filing and Getting Divorce
- If you are thinking of filing for divorce, please take your time and really give it a lot of thought. But had no sex for over the last 10 years. I thought there had to be alot more out there for me, after all I was only 56 years old. But, boy was I wrong. I am in a relationship, but sex is still rare. I don't know maybe its me... something may be wrong with me. But, I know now that what I had with my husband was worth more than all the sex in the world. He was my best friend, treated me like a princess and would do and I could have done anything or gone anywhere I wanted and he was ok with that. Now, I am in debt, limited on where I can go because of money. Ruined the relationship with my children. Anyway... all I can say is if I had to do it all over---I would and should have stayed where I was. At my age ...I should have known better.
- —Guest Guest Wife
I Regret and the Pain is Horrible
- I was undiagnosed bipolar 2. I did well (aside from a rough spell in my late teens) but then I had a massive episode of depression, mistreated leading to mania without knowing I was in mania. I felt he was conspiring against me, I left him and felt I was supposed to be with another man. My ex was devistated. After 2 years I was finally diagnosed and am treated now. It has been like waking up to a nightmare. My ex found someone and has healed. I'm happy for that but the pain is incredible. I feel like it all was lost before I knew reality. I did tell him about 9 month ago about the diagnosis and he agreed it made so much sense. He did say he was sorry we didn't know before. He had got engaged to his partner by then, and even if he wasn't I don't know if he could ever have gotten over all the pain anyways. It is an incredible loss. I love him. I will always love him. Mental illness is so devastating. I am 100% stable now but it is harder as I know what I lost.
- —Guest Guest ex
It's What She Wants
- Married 25 years this year, the last 3.5 years seperated. She cheated during first seperation, I forgave her but she can't seem to forgive in return for the mistakes I made (no cheating mainly stupid stuff). Love her dearly but over the last year living apart I have begun to warm up to the idea of divorce. I tried everything, changed all my bad habits and have always been faithful, loving, employed, cooked cleaned and shared all the chores, very involved with kids, etc... Yes I admit I had problems like most folks and not asking for anything crazy but chance to prove that I've made huge changes for the better. But there is no convincing her to even try, she has always struggled with her happiness and according to her I've been her source of unhappiness for such a long time. Anyway, finally realized after 16 months of this recent seperation that she will never see what she did have or what this could be with some serious work put in it. So I have no real choice but to accept it.
- —Guest Norealchoice
Glad She Wanted Out
- Was with my ex wife for 13 years married for 3 we have two girls one before the marriage. Well ex wife decided to lose weight after 2 daughter was born but found out she was very upset we had a girl. Well she loses weight and meets a guy she once had a thing for. He's available cause he's in jail she wanted out gave her divorce she stated she didn't have anyone and two months after we signed she went to the prison to marry the guy. She has took our two year old down there and told her it was school even my oldest who is 11 has gone and asked what a correctional facility is. Well I had moved things out and found a letter he wrote telling her he should be their father. When I found out he was in jail I just laughed. Oh yeah he's better. I have since found someone and am happier than I've been in a while. Still having issues with ex as she is trying to get me for more child support but we have been divorced for just a year so she is sol. God has blessed me and I'm thankful for that.
- —Guest Happy
The Only Thing I Regret Was Marrying Her
- Hello, Me and my ex-wife been dating for 5 yrs, married for 2 YRS. She had an affair with a guy she worked with. They end up getting married with one kid. I'm single and happy, my ex-wife was a real b***. I would not take her back for $10M dollars, I don't miss her or love her. The only thing I regret is marrying her.
- —Guest john karr
Gave My Heart Got It Back In Pieces
- We met three years ago after my first marriage of 18 years ended in divorce and had all but devastated me and made me totally afraid of ever having a relationship and definitely not ever entering into marriage again. She was so beautiful inside and out and I will admit it didnt take long for me to fall completely and madly in love with her. It was as if God sent this amazing beautiful angel from heaven down to me and she had been thru alot as well so we finally found our soul mate and someone to love and respect above all others. I gave my whole heart to her and tried with all my being to give her everything every day telling her how I felt how beautiful she is and how much she meant to me and how much I always want her. We have only been married 9 months and about a month ago she told me she "just wanted to be on her own" and was leaving me. I cannot go on without her and we talk but its not the same i just want to die because I'm not able to just turn off my emotions like her..
- —Guest robert
She Wanted It
- We were together for 21 years and married for 18 and while not gloriously happy I did not feel either of us were unhappy. We went from having sex, running businesses, and raising 3 kids to her becoming very distant. Then, a trip overseas with a club where I was not able to go because of work and she gets back and she is a different person. So she got involved with and started having an affair with a married guy in our circle. I gave her the option of not seeing him or getting divorced and she wanted the divorce. Now, outside of the kids having to endure it I have never been happier. I don't miss her and I have a great partner and girlfriend who treats me with appreciation and respect and I do her as well. It has made me realize that in many of the cases the partner who wants the divorce and blames the other for the marriage demise may very well be the broken soul and party. Just my 2 cents.
- —Guest scott
This Weekend He is Remarrying
- Well my ex husband is getting married this weekend. The divorce itself, two years ago, did not hit me this hard. Suddenly, I feel like I am missing those aspects of our marriage that were really pretty great, in retrospect. We have two children, had basically the same interests/ideals in life, we were a family and I miss that part so very much. Plus, I know he loved me. Things for me, though, were more complicated than that and I wanted out. I will add that an infatuation with another man hastened things. I guess I was lonely, empty, etc. But now, I can see that in so many ways I had everything I ever really needed - just needed to work more on myself, I think. But I didn't do that, I just bailed. Luckily my kids are doing very well, their lives were not uprooted, and I now am able to thank my ex for being a pretty good partner, and so this week I wished him the best, and even apologized for my part. He apologized as well and we both cried. Feel really sad now.
- —Guest teri
- Just want to share this. I have been married for 24 years, our marriage has been rough as we were a military couple, we have been through long deployments, rough infidelities, rough child raising years and rough deaths in both families. We were literally all we had for many years, so many moves, so many deployments. Now we are out of the military and have time to be together and strangely we can't connect. Anyway we were recently discussing the fact that we should do more things together (at least I thought that was the topic) and he told me I needed a hobby so he could spend more time with his friends. Well friends, I feel I wasted 25 years of my life on this guy. I handled everything when he was gone, I made sure we were financially secure, I dealt with his absences, I raised the kids, in short I did it all and got a masters degree. I thought we would be able to set up our own mutual admiration club. Boy was I wrong. He wants to spend time with his friends. Done!!!!!!!
- —Guest loveday
- Ok so we've been married for 3 n half years and have a 3 month old daughter. The issue is that he has been married to his family's problems and his work and he doesn't have time for me at all. If i wanna share something he doesn't hav time ,he listens to his sisters n all others but not me. He does want sex but then i'm not interested, he comes late from work and then sits in front of the laptop either doing his office work or scrolling fb or watching a movie. Then we live with inlaws and there is no help with the child instead his brothers child also comes over n it makes me more depressed, n i quit work for baby but i want to resume i donno whats the problem but i see his face n i get angry, he doesn't help even a bit with the baby .... I just feel like throwing him out of the window (hahaha wish i could do it) ers but not me.
- —Guest unhappy
- i under stand the pain you are feeling i went trough the same thing like 4 years ago the only thing about my case was one day my wife started acting funny and she was getting ready for work but i could tell that something was wrong anyway to make a long story short is she planned everything out and called children services on me with a bogus claim so i was charged and remove from my home and yes i too was homeless no family around to help me , but i did not care about that all that was on my mind was my kids and the role that they had to play in all the lies cause she wanted out of a marriage we built for 21 years she fought like you would not believe. then 3 years down the road she did not want the role as a mum so i ended up with the kids after all the hell she drag me trough every time i ask her so what are we going to do get a divorce she plays games and puts it on the back burner so i made the choice and filed for it . what kept me strong in those hard times was my children.
What's Wrong With Me
- my wife of 25, cheats for 2 years now with HIV pos. cab driver. He wants her assets, so he tells her he is everything she has been looking for, and im controlling and ruining her life. she is vulnerable cause of the meds she is on. all she does is yell at me and blame me for everything. she is a victim I know it but everyone says she is making her own decisions. im scared of her (if she might have HIV) but yet I filed for divorce. I truly love this woman but cant figure out how to get her away from this preditor. he can talk so convincingly and I am just honest. I know I will think of her forever. he is winning, he is about to get his cut. my wife and I have 4 houses together and a daughter that hates her mom, and a 11 year old son who is close to hate. this guy uses the church to help convince. this evil can happen to anyone if it could happen to us. this creep just will not leave her alone. he has no address of his own. why cant I just divorce her and not be bothered with love?
- —Guest pete
- I left my husband after only 2 1/2 years of marriage. He was my 2nd husband. I was married 34 years to the first one. I regret leaving my 2nd husband Allen so much so that I cannot eat, think, sleep, function properly. I think about him night and day. I left him over something I think was very stupid now. He would spend every single day (including holidays) in the garage working on his ship models. He did all the cooking and grocery shopping because he wanted too. He wrote out the bills and took care of everything which was great but left me in the house all day. I would ask him if we could spend like 2 days a month together and in the beginning he would stay in but later in our marriage he did not want to come in the house. He lied about his pension going to me but I still love him. He knows this because I have told him. It has been 3 years now. I need to add here that I was his 6th wife. I am literally making myself physically sick. Why did I leave for a stupid reason
- —Guest Jeanette
- Been married 11 years a week after my mothers funeral my husband tells me he's not happy with me. I suggest counseling, jump through hoops he refuses it all. He told me he was gone, been gone and only sticking around until school let out. So I asked him to leave now. Fast forward 5 months trying to reconcile after an affair he had. He's angry with me for telling him to leave. And won't sleep with me. Not sure what I'm sticking around for. Surly it's over, I just need to accept it.
- —Guest Doubtful
1-15 of 76Next