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Readers Respond: Main Reasons You Get Upset

Responses: 22


From the article: Upset Spouse?
We all get upset at times. The why, who, and what we are upset about is sometimes pretty ordinary and sometimes quite unique. What upsets you? Share Your Reasons

Upset? Just Wondering

Is it me or do a lot of women here need to have a honest to goodness sit down with their husbands and establish some clear boundaries, standards and house rules and/or just focus o finding a counselor or possibly a lawyer. No one signed up for name calling, cheating, pushing, shoving, ignoring when they got married. If being married were a job, most of the husband's here would have been fired a long time ago. Live alone, on a budget, but don't allow yourself to be abused in any way, shape or form. Plan and prepare if you realize you have to end your marriage. I thought I had issues, but some of the comments here I know I would have been gone a long time ago.
—Guest Rosa

Restraining Order

I am upset because I have been kept in isolation for months, if not years, with a lack of communication. Then after I finally let it all out, in front of him and his mother, 3 days later I get a restraining order. File a separation because our 6 year old was "smuggled to his parents" as he phrased it and all I have been asking for is communication. Is it horrible for a wife/mother to know when her husband is to arrive home from work? Then court, lawyers, forensic pyschlogical evaluations per us both agreeing because he says I am crazy and nuts. Then they clear me of any mental disorder except I can be seen as emotional and mean spirited...heck yay you "smuggled" our only child to your parents, put a restraining order on me and now all this. Yes I am emotional and doing my best to not be mean spirited but you have upset me! No emotional connection and after a push against a car door- yes I'm upset, however how can someone still love somebody who has done all this to them?
—Guest USA

He Blames Me

I wonder so many times why I put up with him at first I loved him so much my heart was set to marry the guy of my dreams (so I thought) but he has lied and cheated and then apologized and started earning back my trust which he did but now four years all we do is argue. he asks me to be open and honest which I am but when I do he gets upset then calls me cruel and if I answer him politely then he says I'm not being truthful then if I cry n get upset he calls me names. do I used to just take it n try to avoid the arguments but if I don't talk or answer calls or reply to him then he sends a thousand texts telling me he's paranoid I'm out cheating when I have never ever cheated on him before.... Then he tells me he hates me and when I told him I was leaving him he tells me he loves me and wants to comfort me.... I told him I was sick of letting him do this to me I'm just happy anymore he says I'm the cruelest person for doing this to him???? Someone email me I need help moving on...
—Guest Jacenta

Being Upset

I am upset becouse my husband lied to me over n over about his extra marital relationship, I found out he is driving his girlfriends child in da morning to school with my car as I am driving his car n he is driving mine, he denied said he is no longer n Item with the lady but he was lying just 2 calm me...........

Main Reasons You Get Upset

When we are so financially pressed at home and my hubby just says it is going to be okay without immediate relief of money or steps towards urgent financial solution
—Guest Guest Eunice

When It Comes to Finances

He plans that l surrender the little cash in my hand for home maintenance so that l begin to look up to him for financial assistance all the time.
—Guest Bola

No Name

I'm very upset..My husband and I have been married for 21 years. We seldom quarrel, he helps in the house, no vices...but until now he never calls me by my name or any name..he asks somebody to call me whenever he needs me or just taps my shoulder if he wants to talk to me..I asked him for so many times why he can't call me by my name or any name he wants..but he just kept silent...it really upsets me...
—Guest Guest Joyce

Cancels Bank Cards

My husband changes pin numbers, returns gifts he has given me, & cancels credit and debit cards without consulting with me first!
—Guest Brenda

No Apology

I get upset when my husband don't apologize to me after hurting me, or after coming home late, cheating on me, or coming home in the morning.

Don't Get Appreciated

I stood by my husband when he wasn't happy at his jobs (4). Going from a good paying job and really not making anything because he wanted what he wanted, I stood by him, I work 50-60 hours a week outside the home and I clean my house, cook dinner for him and my kids, laundry, everything but take out the trash (sometimes). I have to ask him to take me out on a date and at times he says no or don't have time. Doesn't ever tell me that he appreciates everything I do for him and our family. When we argue he seems to always turn it around to make it seem like it's my fault or I started it. He only touches me when he wants to be intimate. I tell him all this but I'm lieing or making things up to make him look like the bad guy. I love my husband but there's so much one woman (or man) can take. Just to hear that you are loved, appreciated and respected is all one needs to hear everyday, every other day, or once a week....something.
—Guest Sissy

When My Husband Least Prioritise Me

Like any other wife, I've always been doing everything in the house -- from changing bed covers, wiping the floor, cooking, washing the dishes, ironing the clothes. For what? Because we love them dearly. And despite of all your efforts, what do you get? A little mishap, you get a major criticism, worst you'll be scolded as if it was a life-threatening imperfection i.e. the milk spilled or the spoon/fork fell while having your dinner. Isn't it ridiculous? Now I'm reminded, why do we -- women, in general allow these things to happen to us? Because we love them, we love our family. I'm starting to loose my own IDENTITY. My husband wants me to change -- he always says so that I'd be a better person. Well, enough of that! We went steady for 3 and a half years and you don't get all these comments. And the moment that you get married, suddenly he makes you his robot -- tweaked into a different persona that he wants you to be. And we allow it to happen, even if you don't admit it. Why?!?!
—Guest lovely heart


I hate that in the last month my husband has lost his debit card, his phone and, his ID. While helping him look for the debit card, I find nothing but trash strewn about what I thought was a pile of important papers only to find a notice from his student loans department saying they were sending his matter to collections. I only had seconds to pop my head up when my husband says,"Maybe I should just go and pull out a bunch of money from the bank." I said back, "Maybe someone has your check card and you should think about closing your check card first!" ?!?!??
—Guest Simone

The Real Romance Killer is ...

The real romance killer is lack of emotional intimacy, which doesn't even make the list here. I've worked with couples for 20 years and know this to be so. I recently wrote this up in an online essay, "Why Couples Fight and What to Do About It" -- http://bit.ly/gtikfM Editor's Note: The article resides at ezinearticles.com and we cannot vouch for the safety of the site.
—Guest Jeff Kaye


I get irritated when my husband seems to only think of himself. We watch what he wants to on TV, we acknowledge why he is mad, we get dessert when he feels like it. I clean, I cook, I work, I run errands. He just sits there.
—Guest nina

Drinking With Friends

I get so upset when every other week he is out drinking with his friends or he goes to a club and he doesn't come home until 3:00 am in the morning. Sometimes I wonder what he is doing. He starts to drink from 5:00 pm until 3:00 am in the morning. Now that just make me upset, not just him but to his friends too.
—Guest Aeto

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Main Reasons You Get Upset

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