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Readers Respond: Stand Up for Your Marriage

Responses: 12

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From the article: Be a Supportive Spouse
If you are offended when someone is putting down marriage just to be funny or witty, make a difference by standing up for marriage. Not only will you stand up for marriage in general, you will stand up for YOUR marriage. Share Your Experiences

Am I Selfish?

my husband and I broke it off for a while, before he left we had nothing, material wise. when he left I pulled myself together and got a little home and a job. my daughter of 10 and I, he came back and I was happy, but now I am feeling that he does not deserve the benefits of all my hard work and this is making me grumpy with him. please tell me am been wrong? he doesn't put a penny into anything yet eats and sleeps there.
—Guest Sam

Not Sure

I just got engaged to my partner of 2 years and we are marrying in February 2014. However we have problems, we recently graduated from tertiary, but I got a job before him. This frustrates him a lot of times and he tells me I changed once I worked. He blames himself all the time, even refuses to accept financial help from me sometimes. It is hard and I wonder how he will ever accept this. But I am still holding on, although it is hard to spend even more than 2 days without quareeling.
—Likopo

No Faith

I love my husband and have been married to him for 17 years. His work is commission based and he often goes long periods with no income coming in. When he describes to me interactions he has with his clients, I often cringe. While I respect his honesty with them, I am sure that he runs many off with his bluntness and candor. I do often suggest that he handle things differently and, of course, he takes offense. I don't know how to "show my support" when, in fact, I am not sure that I trust how he handles things.
—Chickagee

Wanting the Best for your Partner

Sheri and Bob, This is really good counsel. I have seen how important it is, to want the best for your partner . As much as we can, even if fears come up, focusing on what's best for them, will help them to know they have a safe haven with you. It takes practice, but will build trust, and help to sustain love over the long run.
—relationshipyogi

Troubled Marriage

Hello! This is the first time that I've opened up in public about my marriage problems. I'm looking for an outlet for this emotional turmoil I'm feeling right now. I've been married for 7 years now and noticed changes in my husband's dealings toward me, like the way he looks at me and talks to me. The intimacy and tenderness is gone! Last year, I found out that he has an almost-a-year affair with his co-worker. It devastated me and hurt me a lot since he told me he did that because of me. I know, I'm not a perfect wife but I've been true and devoted to him. He told me the affair is over but I've difficulty believing him. Trust is gone and I couldn't forgive him the way he's treating me. It's so unfair! Now, he said he's trying to commit again to our marriage, to me, and to our daughter. The problem is our marriage is becoming colder each day. Ours is a cold, sexless marriage. It's as if he's not attracted to me anymore. He's not the man he used to be, the man I fell in love with.
—Guest Lie

Nothing Much To Talk About Marriage

I'm been married for several months through a long distance relationship. My hubby has been in divorce for almost 2 years now, yet he's trying to move on. In our first meeting I've been hurting much because I always heard the words I love you so much in the air. I know he really loved his x-wife and I feel sorry for him but really attracted , physically and emotionally through his loving and faithful. I am willing to give what makes my hubby happy and want to help him. I know that he still keeps thinking his past relationship -- maybe how awful or how much he loved his wife. In our first meeting I really feel 100 percent that he really loved his x-wife and it's kept hurting me so badly. I told him how I felt and It's overwhelming to me because he comforted me so much that time. Now I have big confidence that they will not be together anymore. His x-wife is already engaged but sometimes he is quiet. Our marriage is not really in love but love and like each other. I like the way he is and the way he treats me.
—realmeakoni

Is This Hormones?? -- 7 Months Pregnant

My fiance has recently been chatting to his friend (female) which I have not met and lives in another country. Last night I was reading their conversation which he knew full well about. We have only known each other for about 10 months and he proposed to me 2 weeks before I found out I was pregnant. I then moved in 2 months later and have been happy since, BUT, last night when he was having this conversation, she started bad mouthing our relationship and telling him that there is no possible way we will ever stay together or 'last' and that he is lustful and naive. I did not say anything as I wanted to see what his response was! She continued bad mouthing and showed complete disrespect about me and the family we are about to start. She basically 'attacked' our relationship. My fiance did not even blink an eyelid and just said 'our future is for us to live and no one else.' My tears welled up followed by a fight. Have I over reacted because she is a woman or does he just not care?
—Guest Tearful

Just Confused

Well, I am 24 and my husband is 24. We have been married for 3 months. We have lived together from day 1 which was 10 months ago he tells me I'm not supportive!! I try and try and yet he says I'm not supportive how do I be more supportive? He tells me I'm selfish.
—Guest ameena

Troubled Marriage

I have been married for 6 years and since we have gotten married it has been a ride. It seems of late my spouse has change a lot. There is nothing I can do right. I have a child from a previous relationship and my spouse seems to have hatred towards him. My child is 15 and my spouse makes nastly comments to him about his dad. I have done the counseling and nothing seems to work anymore. Me and husband and I have 2 more children together and he pays more attention to one than the other. He says really mean things to me and my oldest child and almost ignores our youngest. My husband won't talk to me normally he just yells. I am always there for my children and my husband but my husband isn't there for us. I am so hurt with my husband that I feel that I can walk away and take our children with me. When I do talk to husband he says there's the door if you are not happy then go. I thank my husband everytime he does something for us and I tell him I love him. What should I do?
—Guest Nicole

Hurting

I've been separated 2 years and one month, and believe me time doesn't heal. I don't hurt like I did, and I have forgiven my husband of all the hurt. The day my husband left I prayed to God to heal my marriage, and God told me to be still that He would bring my husband home. So since that day I started standing. At the time I didn't know what standing was. I didn't really learn what it was until I joined a group that a lady sent out Charlyne Cares and I learned what a stander and a prodigal was. I have been standing and praying since. I love my husband more today then I did when he left, and I pray for his salvation and his return to our marriage daily. God has given me many signs of restoration and I'm excited for the day I can hug and hold my husband and know that we are fully restored in God's love, and to show the nay sayers that God DOES restore.
—Guest Melanie

Stand For Your Marriage

I got word from God that He wanted me to start a support site for people going through hurting marriages and giving them the hope the Lord gave me when no one else could help me. I turned to Him in my darkest hour in my life and He gave me the hope and promise that He will restore my marriage and He wants me to Stand for my wife and our marriage. He also told me that I will not even smell of smoke and at the moment I’m the same as Daniel in the fire, but He will guide me and protect me from the fire and He will heal and rebuild what the enemy thought he had destroyed. For more insight here is my site: http://standforyourmarriage.org
—Guest EssJee

sad

This is my first time in this site and writing a post/message. I don't know what to do and hope that I can get some advice here. As I sit here typing in my laptop, I feel bad. I've only been married a month and a few days and feel like as the days go by, I'm getting to know a new person (my husband). We argued last week about him going to visit his brother in San Diego for their birthday (they're twins). He wants to stay the whole weekend there because it their birthday but I say let's go very early and we can return very late. I offered to drive to and back since I know he wants to drink but he refused. He said he would go with or with out me. We argued and I even talked about annulling our marriage. Two days after we had planned to go shopping after he came out of work but he canceled. (we were still upset) He said he was going to his mothers to visit her and his god daughter. I felt like he was canceling just to be mean. I didn't want to stay home alone so I told him I would go.
—Whathappenedto

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Stand Up for Your Marriage

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