No Sex
- My wife doesn't want sex. We have only been married 6 months and haven't had sex in 5 months. Should I leave?
- —Guest John
Being Honest
- Same boat as many of you guys and gals. Lucky if we have sex once a month and when I think that it's a sign of better things to come, I'm told 'well we did last week' like she did me a massive favor, and so it drags on for another month. The resentment and frustration builds up and up, and when we do make love I find that I'm so tense inside and basically lacking in self confidence, that I feel nervous and worried that if I don't perform, it will put her off even more. Foreplay is basically a very hurried affair, because she gets off so easily that she is pressuring me to get down to business before we've even got started. I would rather make it last and enjoy hours of fun (lets face it, it's easier for women to get off on multiple occasions in one sitting than it is for us men), then before I know it, we have concluded what to me often feels like business and she rolls over to go to sleep, or rushes to the bath room to clean up quote: 'eeew!', I feel dirty and not in a nice way.
- —Guest anon
Very Low Sex Marriage
- My wife and I have been married for 14 years and have two kids 10 and 11. I am the kind of guy who wants sex all the time and think about it all the time. As like many couples sex was awesome in the beginning and now I am lucky if it's once a month and it's only after I beg for it. If I didn't ask for it who knows how long it would go. My wife is very beautiful and sometimes I wonder what she saw in me but having such a high sex drive as I do. Being married to a Hot wife is driving me crazy. I feel unattractive and depressed, the thought of not having awesome sex as long as I am married to her is making me wonder what to do. As I am typing this all I can think about is sex with my wife like and her wanting me as much as I want her. Do you think she is having an affair?
- —Guest Chris
My Husband is Frustrated and Hurt
- Me and my husband have been together for four years. I started taking antidepressants about 2 years ago and since I haven't wanted sex or I get frustrated when he cuddles with me in bed. At the beginning of our relationship I wanted sex all the time but I could never reach orgasm; this bothered him too. I had never had sex before my husband, yet he has had sex with multiple partners before me. I just don't know what to do to make me want to have sex again. I love my husband and want to be able to satisfy him and myself. If anyone has ideas please tell me. Editor's Note: Since your issues with sex started with the antidepressants, please see a physician and discuss your low libido with him/her. Hopefully, there's an easy answer for you.
- —Guest Jessica
What Ever Happened?
- We are married for 30 years. Sex was often, early on. Still pretty good with the kids growing up. We lost an adult son four years ago and sex is an every other month thing, if that -- and only when I initiate it. I help out with housework inside and out. I do a lot for her but I'm not sure what is up. I love her and am probably over sexed but I am tired of masturbating. I have been seriously thinking of an affair. Editor's Note: Please seriously consider marriage counseling, or a divorce before hurting your wife by having an affair.
- —Guest Jim
Sex
- Well me and my husband have been married for 4 years. My husband has diabetes and I have a very high sex drive and I am healthy. My husband gets an erection but when we are having intercourse it goes down and I haven't had an orgasm for a long while. I am frustrated and have a lot of anger and resentment towards my husband. I want to cheat but I don't want to or give up our marriage. What am I to do. I am very miserable. My husband is not a loving or affectionate person, not good in bed, and has no consideration on my needs and feelings and I feel that he masturbates to avoid the issue of sex. Please help!
- —Guest Honey
The Common Paradox: To Leave or To Cheat
- Well ... it seems like I have the same story as many other people who have posted on here. I was a collegiate athlete and a popular guy who regularly had sex 4 to 5 times a week with a few different girls and kept that throughout my single years (married at 27). When I met my wife, she was still living at home and I was in and out of town on business most of the time. Well we dated for over 2 years, had a son, and got married. Now before we got married it wasn't great but I just assumed that because she was not that "experienced" she would catch up pretty quick. WRONG! Fast forward 7 years and a daughter and I'm lucky to have sex once a month and typically go 6 to 7 weeks. And this started within 2 months of being married. I've always been an extremely sexual person who for a second thought my "sex drive" was the problem. But now its a deal breaker for me, and I'm in a paradox ... I love my wife, but there's NO way I can make it the next 30 years on this schedule.
- —Guest GMoney
Getting Tired
- My boyfriend and I are in our 40s and have been together almost 3 years. He is very affectionate and loving, but our sex life is in big trouble. The first year together was great -- lots of sex, lots of time together being intimate and discovering each other. Now, although he wants to satisfy me in other ways, he seems to have lost interest in intercourse. He is very uncomfortable with discussing the issue, and seems to feel that he is doing his part by satisfying me otherwise, but each time he initiates this I feel more dejected that he does not want to be inside of me. Confusion has led to resentment, and it's become difficult for it not to bleed out into other areas of our relationship. He seems satisfied in the relationship itself, but I am tired of blaming myself for being inadequate in some way to achieve something that means so much to me but seems to not matter at all to him. I know he loves me, but how do you overcome such an obstacle?
- —Lonelyinluv
I Always Thought the Women Didn't
- my husband and I have been together 6 years and have 2 kids together. I try to make him want me but I feel even though I've lost 60 pounds that I'm ugly. We use to have sex 7 days a week now it's rarely and I have to beg for it. I have tried using different things in bed but he just turns around and doesn't want hands on or a new sexual idea. I love him. I'd never cheat on him but he refuses to get himself checked out. He is 32 and I worry it's a medical problem. No problem with ED -- he can stay firm but he doesn't want me half the times .
- —Guest inlovebutsad
Low Libido
- I'm 50 and I've been dating my 52 year boyfriend for five months now. He didn't tell me initially he had type II diabetes. His sex drive is low and he has ED and he has some unresolved issues from past relationship. We talked yesterday and I explained the meaning of low libido, because he didn't understand. I want to throw in the towel and leave, because I don't think I can deal with his issues. He does take Cialis, but it doesn't work. Reality has set in, and I know most men in the 40's and 50's have sexual problems. Me knowing that I want to date younger men, at least 10-13 years my junior.
- —Guest Kennedy
Try Not to Have Sex
- One commonly used tactic with couples who are not in sync sexually is to agree to not have sex. The psychology is that it takes the pressure off the person who doesn't want it. Then work up to just kissing for a week. Then kissing and touching. Most often the turn on is the restraint. Couples should go to a counselor to help them work through any underlying, emotional issues and find solutions instead of having the same finger pointing, shouting, and crying sessions that leave you drained and frustrated.
- —Guest Mb
Let Them Have Another Partner
- Some people are just wired with different sex drives and needs. Once you accept this, there isn't too much you can do to change a person's biology. My wife has always wanted more sex (3 or more times a week). I'm fine with once a month and feel like it's a job if we have it more than once a week. When she cheated on me, I just wasn't upset and encouraged her to have fun. She visits a boyfriend once or twice a week and we are both happy with our marriage.
- —Guest Relax
Only One Trying
- We've been married 7 years, and have a beautiful 5 year old daughter. I love my family, and am totally committed to them in all ways. Typical scenario, my wife and I now have a very different sex drive. I want to try new things and would love to have sex 2-3 times per week, rather than monthly or every other month as happens now. My wife tells me she is perfectly happy with monthly sex that is the same every time. There is no oral sex, no role playing, no hand stimulation, no imagination. She says she just doesn't need it or want it. So I'm stuck in sugar-free, low calorie vanilla land when I want to jump straight in to the deep end of the ice cream pool! I have tried everything from subtle to the definitely not subtle, with no joy. When do you decide that too little is too little and move on?
- —Guest solo
Unhappy ....
- I have been with my husband for many years, since I was a teenager and I am in my late 30s now. I want sex every day, sometimes several times a day, however my husband makes me feel like sex is a step by step process. Blow job, followed by sex ... no foreplay and heaven forbid I am touched anywhere other then 3 specific areas of the body. It makes me feel like the most unattractive woman on the planet. Whenever I suggest something more, I am made to feel like I am asking for something perverted. I am giving serious thought to divorce, however the thought of dating again scares the life out of me. I am so stuck and unhappy ... help!
- —Guest Guest JL
Boyfriend Has NO Sex Drive Anymore
- My boyfriend and I have nearly stopped having sex at all. We are in our mid 50s. We have sex maybe once every month or two and it's gone even 3 months. The only person who complains is me. He seems to have no interest anymore. He does have ED and after me pushing him he went to the Dr and his testosterone tested low normal. The Dr gave him a prescription for Cialis which he filled nearly 7 months ago ... and has used only once. He told me after wards that he didn't think it helped anything. He seems perfectly content with this sexless relationship but I am lonely, sad, depressed ... and angry. I have been as honest with him as I know how to be. I'd be happy to have sex even once a week, but he acts like this is a chore. He has actually said to me concerning sex "that's not exactly high on my priority list". When I approach him I am rejected. He told me that he wants to initiate sex ... then he almost never does. I've waited weeks ... nothing. What the hell am I to do?
- —Guest Sad Gal
