From the article: Low Sex Marriage Poll
A low sex marriage may seem okay to one spouse and yet may be viewed as a huge problem by the other spouse. How have you dealt with the issue of differing sex drives in your marriage? Share Your Story
Is It Over?
- I married my husband 3 years ago. Been together for 5 years. Our sex life was great for about 6 months. I knew he took Cialis and was totally ok with it. We had sex 2 times within a year of getting married. Our honeymoon was for 12 days, he never touched me once. 2 months after our wedding I started seeing a therapist because I could not take the rejection. Our marriage was not consummated until nearly 9 weeks. Since then we have only had sex 3 times. It has been 15 months since our last time. He quit taking the pills, said they did not work. Had his testosterone checked, it was bad low and Dr. prescribed cream, but he only took one month. I recently discovered he's been looking at porn on internet a lot. I have tried many times to talk to him about this, but he says his health problem (Hep C), which his levels have been fine for the past 3 years is the problem. I am 45, very attractive and fit. I don't understand. I have no dignity left as a woman. Is it over ?
Sexless Marriage/Prior He Laid There
- I have a disease so it was hard for us at times. It's been well over a year since we last had it and notice I did NOT call it making love. He married very late in life at 46, he's now 56 and I am 48. Over 10 years now and during the years of abstinence I've gone through the change - gee I wonder why? We had a HUGE sex life prior to marriage, after it has dwindled to this. Now it's NEVER! I'll suggest it, he'll be ALL for it when it comes right down to it he backs out saying he's tired EVERY time no matter what time of day! I'm DONE with suggesting it tired of being let down! Granted we've both put on weight but . . . I can't even play music to get him in the mood as it interferes with him climaxing! Have you ever tried to do this ALWAYS IN SILENCE? I'm VERY depressed over this. I keep fishing to see if he's getting it elsewhere and I don' t think so? I think he just does not need it? He has NEVER pleasured me. What about ME in ALL of this? Not MY choice! What do I do? I'm not dead yet
- —Guest Jane Doe 48
So Sad and Broken...
- My husband and I have been married for 8 years. He is only interested in me about 4 times a year. I feel like a broken record… bringing it up about every 3 months, when I cannot take it anymore… feeling so alone in a marriage is a horrible feeling. I bring up the subject, he fights with me then tells me he is sorry and doesn't want it to be like this… but nothing changes. My love language is touch and my tank is on -1000. When we go out of town… the first thing I think of when we get to our hotel room is how great it would be if we made love… he says… where do you want to eat… not my idea of a fun time. I am losing myself… I am dying inside. I need help to figure this out. I have asked several times how I can change his perception of me… and he can't tell me. Sometimes I want to leave… but I will honor my vows. I think he is a good man… I am hoping he is not having an affair. I hoping he does not regret marrying me. I am really trying not to have resentment. I just don't get it… help?
- —Guest Guest T
Oh Soooo Disapointed...
- My biggest mistake was getting married without getting IT!! She said she was saving it for marriage..I wanted to live together...she was wonderful person so I married her. 17 years and we've had sex about 17 times!!!! WTF!! She would always rather cook, clean, do laundry and talk on the phone about a thousand times a day with her mom and still at home sister, and always try to push me away. So, one day I decided to stop initiating and what do you know, 2 1/2 years went by before she made a move. I think she's gay or frigid...should have left after 5 years!!! I now desperately hope for a miracle to meet someone and have good sex and some kids.
- —Guest 52 no kids and horny!!!
- I too have been married over 10 years been through affairs and still are together my husbands need for sex is several times a day if he dont get sex at least once a day he is mean and says that I must not find him attractive or have passion for him. This makes me feel terrible because I do love my husband and dont want anyone but him. I just dont have a large sexual desire its not him he is great its me I have vaginal pain and he is well endowed so it makes it worse for me this issue is the only problem in our marriage I wish I wanted sex whats my problem why can I get aroused?
- —Guest candy0311
World Upside Down
- I do not know what to do! My hubby is 13 years older than me at 48 and has lost any interest in not only our sex life but even plain communication. At first he could not keep his hands off me and was always pulling me into kisses hugs the bedroom. First it changed to every couple days then weeks then months here it is October 2013 and I have only had it once this year. Is it his age? Is it me? Now a days i can not even kiss hug cuddle or touch him without getting chewed out he claims he still loves me and i really do love him but i have needs too what to do? Then he moved in with me and everything went down hill. We have been together six years
- —Guest Roxy
Low Sex Marriage
- I have been married for about a year. We are in late 20s, early 30s. I consider myself healthy and have a high desire for sex. Unfortunately, we only have sex once a month. He stops kissing after the wedding. We are still in the same bed but just stop at hugging, rarely move any further. Im never topless to him before. He doesn't think its a big deal or bother removing it. I absolutely want to enjoy more sex. I told him I have energy to do it everyday. He said he will try but :((( its still sexless
- —Guest Sarah
- You're supposed to have fantasies about your spouse? Not happening over here. I fantasize about men who actually behave like men and have the energy to do the stuff men are supposed to want to do with women. I've come to conclusion that my husband is just too old to satisfy me. Before anyone gets their knickers or briefs in a wad, I get it. It's my fault, I know. I resigned myself to this fate by falling in love with a man 12 years older than me. I haven't the courage to cheat, I'm too shy. Now, he is even disabled with ED to boot. 43 years old with ED and a T level of 230. No sex for me! Might as well get fat. At least food tastes good and it's always there.
- —Guest Talara
Marriage Sex Sucks
- I have been married 15 years to my wife. You would think after that long I would get to touch her. I can't touch my wifes bosom or her private, kissing is met with complaints. She hates being wet! Tells me to hurry up. I rather masturbate and have fun.
- —Guest Albert
As Good as It Gets
- After more than 15 years of celibacy, therapy, and fights I can tell you that things are not going to get better. Initially, cheating and divorce were unthinkable. Now is too late.
- —Guest lop
Happily Ever After Didn't Mention This
- I am 26 years old and have been married for 2. I am athletic, good looking, reasonably intelligent, with a great job, married to the woman of my dreams, and like so many on here, I am being torn apart in a marriage that is not fulfilling me sexually. My wife is beautiful, in good shape, intelligent, funny, loyal, loving, but at 25 years old doesn't have a sex drive. It didn't used to be like this, once we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. Now, maybe once every two weeks. We have talked about, cried about it, fought about it. I have tried not having sex. I have let things run there course for weeks and nothing. Now I am just defeated and tired. She is on birth control, and she is in residency training to be a doctor. Stress and long hours could be the culprit. But then, this will be the norm the rest of our lives. I can't live a life like this, but I love her to much ever leave her. Any thoughts? I am looking for a miracle for my marriage and I am not the kind to cheat
- —Guest A Good Husband
- I am 55, been married for a year, love my husband to pieces, he is everything to me ... but, I crashed into the menopause last year and now ... although I had a great sexual desire before, I have none. I do desire my husband and love him more than anything. What can I do? I don't want this to be an issue, he is fantastic, he never complains ,,, but, I feel that I am not the woman I once was. Help please. Editor's Note: I do hope you consult a physician about your low libido.
- —Guest meherenow
He Is a Rock
- We have been married for 3 years, at the beginning my husband was alright I think he was doing a big effort because after 6 months things changed he has no desire at ALL ! I Somtimes have to push him to have sex and most of the time he finds an excuse either ill or tired or a silly thing just to escape it, this year we had sex not more than 5 times and total time will be 5 miutes for all of them, I've talked to him kindly and gently, I explained mch about how this make me unhappy I begged him to seek help and find a solution for this, but he seems Carless, I'm not even 30 I fell sooo sorry for my self . I'm lost and don't know what to do divorce is not an option coz we have a daughter what left I'm afraid that time will pass without enjoying it because I believed that sex is a joy in life if we take it right. What shall I do I'm really lost. Editor's Note: I do hope you will seek counseling even if he won't. It could help you sort through your feelings and make a decision on a strong foundation. Do take care of yourself. SS
- —Guest Flower in a desert
- Married but haven't had sex with my hubby for the past 4 yrs. he says he is sick and can't perform, but i have just discovered that he has an affair. I'm deeply hurt I'm thinking of moving out there is no intimacy, no kissing, no holidays, but we still share the same bed. he is just distancing himself from me. No touching let alone kissing. he does not want me to communicate with him regarding the sex issue. I'm thinking of moving out and leave him, just fed up
- —Guest jabum
Need to Vent ...
- just need to vent as I'm confused or disillusioned about my current situation. my wife and i are relatively young and healthy. we have been together for 8 years and married for 4. our relationship and sex life was of course incredible in the beginning ... you name it, we did it, and frequently. i recall one week having sex around 20 times! i remember her begging me for sex at times when i didn't even want it. since then we have had intercourse maybe twice since being married (mostly due to an issue that required surgery to correct). we used to do other sexual things regularly but now I'm lucky if i get to jerk off to her topless body once every few months. we have even not made out for many years now. i put everything i can into every other area of our relationship but nothing helps. according to her I'm now such a lousy lover that no matter how i touch her she cannot become interested. apparently, when we had a sex life I could do no wrong (no matter how "terrible" i was) ... this sucks.
- —Guest undecided
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