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Readers Respond: Stories and Solutions About Low Sex Marriages

Responses: 315


From the article: Low Sex Marriage Poll
A low sex marriage may seem okay to one spouse and yet may be viewed as a huge problem by the other spouse. How have you dealt with the issue of differing sex drives in your marriage? Share Your Story

Don't Lose Hope, Things Can Change

As I read from one post to the next, my heart tears into shreds for many of you who feel trapped in toxic marriages, trying your best to make things work in vain. I can't imagine the level of abuse, frustration, hopeleness and emotional pain you are feeling right now. Honestly, the level of torment and suffering people are facing in their own homes is staggering, it is unbelievable! You'd even think it is hell on earth. This phenomenon is happening world wide beyond human understanding and spiritual in its root. Most relationships are built on faulty foundations, life's pressures come, cracks start to show and things finally fall apart. Oh! what a painful experience. Separation is not always the best solution because no one is perfect out there, but people are forced to leave their spouse because they just can't tolerate the pain any longer. I don't have all the answers but we can talk further in person.
—Guest Caesar

It Has to Be Me, Right?

So my husband wants to get mad because he had to initiate sex (well, not always) but when it happens, it happens. He complains that he had to ejaculate outside of me.. wear a condom, then. Said it's better to go with prostitute than wearing a condom.. get yourself fix, we are not getting anymore kids after all. I rarely come when we had sex but I come when I masturbate, so I seriously don't understand what is he complaining about when I don't. Many times I feel that I am better alone and he can just go get himself a nymph to satisfy him.. but can he satisfy her instead?
—Guest Fed Up

Low Sex Life

My wife has being starrving me for the past two months.
—Guest jaimset

Little Sex With My Husband of 39 Years

I am tired of this yo yo sex life! Off and on spurts, herpes, sexual infections, feelings of infidelity and husband of 38 years obsession with the internet!!! I left him in 2004, twice in 2007, 2010, and 2011 returning with promises to go to counseling with recommendations, books and other. He only agrees with after I leave. I want out! I'm wasting my life. I have been saving for affordable Assisted Living, $1600. max in Southern California and hoping to secure with a female divorce attorney. Thanks in advance. Sincerely, Delores Wilson
—Guest Delores

Christian Man In a Sexless Marriage

I'm 43yrs and my wife is 31yrs. We are 10 yrs married with two kids. Our lives look promising on the outside, but when I take an honest look at our sex life, I hear the sound of a cracking ice beneath the foundation of our marriage. With time we both realised that I desire regular and consistency in sex than she does. I know I felt rejection and avoided many times. I know I'm tired initiating sex. I want neither of us to be sex hostages in this marriage. I'm deeply challenged by her ignorance and most times I feel I'm married to a child. We can't be passive about unmet sexual needs because if we don't who will? Great marriages don't grow on trees but are worked daily by two people who want to be together. Yes, I've wonder in my heart how things would have been if I met someone equally matured and willing to read to gain more understanding of life's important marriage issues. I've also realised that satan has nothing to do with divorce but our ego's and past pain. May God's wisdom come!
—Guest L

Evolution or Devolution

I do not understand why people stop doing what they did before marriage. THAT is what got you married to this person. To then stop and then wonder why things start to decline is odd to me. I think my wife started with the no thanks, maybe later, this weekend, etc etc as a power thing in the bedroom. I got tired of being rejected 100% of the time and stopped trying. I told her once when she initiated that I had a migrane and she went off on a tear on how I have never turned down sex so I must be cheating on her, etc. etc. Flash forward to the turn downs to do anything together. Movie? nope. Dinner? nope, walk? nope. on and on. 100% rejection. last one was a play that our daughter was in. I read that low sex marriages have sex once a month. Last YEAR we did it 4 times. How am I not supposed to take it personally when the person who used to desire me no longer does after 26 years. I refuse to live my golden years like this.
—Guest gone


Been married just over two yrs. Im 33 she's 29. Got two kids one by me (2 yr old) and live with our 88 yr pop n law ...... yeah. Sex is like a curse word with her. When we first got back together just over 3 yrs ago she was my well personal s***. Sorry but true. Now I feel like I have just before we got married that I got tricked. I do I love her and she's not hard on the eyes and craves attention even though she denies it. Ugggg. I have needs. I do i feel like this is abuse. Im sure she was jesting but went so far to say get a blow up doll or a whore on the side. Im not built like that but the longer this goes on I'm starting to resent her and stay pissed. Do I just go against what I believe and get a side girl for sexual needs? It feels wrong because I want it with her but I refuse to play husband and play Yankee doodle with myself when it comes up. HELP!
—Guest foolfellinlove

Low Sex Marriage

when we were dating, i hav never ask her. for sex and she said no. but since we got married, she always give one reason or d other for not having sex with me. but when she observed that am not happy with her for some time, she will finally call me for sex. my wife dictate when to sex in my house,. if i keep quiet , it might take us 2 months to sex. i love her but i am tired of the marriage . am sick emotionally and she is very comfortable what should i do?
—Guest Mctee

Help Me

i need help. i feel nothing when having sex.. what is wrong w/ me ?? /; Editor's Note: I recommend that you talk with your family physician about this. The problem could be caused by something as simple as a medication you are taking.
—Guest ur mom

My Wife Is Not Interested in Sex

we are married for almost 6 months , during honeymoon we had sex after that wife started avoiding my ,she use to go to office even weekends. use to give reason like back pain body ache so on, when i asked her she will say she does want to have sex with me but she wants to be friendly with her without that through out my life . I am feeling very upset
—Guest my fate

No More Feeling For Him

I have been married for 13 yrs bt fo the last 5yrs i d nt feel like having sex with him i was trying bt its even worse now he used to fight wth shoutng. Now we no longer share the same bed how longer am l going to live wth this issue , he doesnt even share anything with even money he jus do his things quiet need help. Is it a good idea to give back my ex chance he always helping in this hard time im having im confused sometime i dnt even want to talk to any man thinking they are same plz help me always in tears. Editor's Note: Making life changing decisions when you are confused and depressed is not recommended. I do hope you find a counselor who can help you through this difficult time.
—Guest Nancy

Does He Love Me?

I don't have a year with my husband. When we first me we would make love for hours every day. And now I beg him to tell him over and over to make love to me and he doesn't. We make love now maybe 2 a month? What should I do I'm tired of begging my husband to make love to me. I have needs. he watches a lot of porn.
—Guest lonely

No Sex For 12 Years

I was 19 and he was 22 when we got married. I always liked sex. He decided once a week was enough. 22 and he only wanted sex once a week. It was all downhill from there. I didnt know about his masturbation and use of prostitutes. After he was present for the birth of our second son he decided to accept a job out of town for 6 weeks. That was a good time for him to go back to his old ways. Porn, strip clubs and prostitutes. He kept that up for 17 years until I caught. He went to psychologist for a while and said he was cured, except that now he had ed. He used a vacuum pump with me for 5 years. We moved into our dream house, children are gone and again no sex for 12 years. Tried to talk to him, he would not talk. I know decide he is just old and has not interest. Surprise. He joined cheating web sites and escort member sites. He even identified him self on web as a sexual hobbyist. His ed didnt stop him. He is unable to orgasim and that didnt stop him.

Husband Is a Dud

Heh, I'm in my mid 60's and only had sex with husband once in 46 years. Since our wedding night he has refused sex, love, intimacy, communication, sleep together nothing to do with each other. He even worked 42 years on nights to be away from me, he even slept in the basement so he could be alone.
—Guest AMY

I Love Him But...

I read these posts to see if maybe I could find my way back to what I had. My husband and I have been with each other for 7 yrs, good and bad, and now we are married for almost a 1 year. But I do not desire him, not like most would think. I love him, he is my best friend. But our life has gone downhill. I don't have any sexual desire, and to please him, I must confess I fake it. I try to "get in the mood", but I've lost my mojo. It is most likely due to depression and extreme stress, but without the money to go get help, what am I suppose to do? I do feel as though sometimes I should simply divorce him and let him find someone better. Another thought, let him cheat. But I love him, and it hurts me to know that I cannot make him happy. He feels as though I do not desire him, and it hurts his self esteem when I deny him. We have talked, fought, cried over this... but he says if I don't get help then I must not care. Heartbroken to think I may have lost him... Editor's Note: Have you checked to see if you have access to mental health care now that Obamacare is in effect? http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/news/20131011/obamacare-should-help-those-with-mental-health-issues-advocates-say
—Guest nosexallmyfault

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Stories and Solutions About Low Sex Marriages

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