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Readers Respond: What Do You Want From Marriage?

Responses: 42

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We've written about emotional needs and what wives and husbands often want from their spouses. What do you want from your spouse and from your marriage? Readers respond to this question.

Old Time Relationship

I have been married twice. Cheated on both times. Once with my own sister. Online romances were another problem. I need my significant other to actually care about my feelings and actually want to touch me, kiss me and make love to me. When we go to work or out in public, I want to feel like he is still into me. He doesn't. He flirts with 20 year old girls. Talks sexually to them. He's a medic so he thinks he is a lady killer. He constantly has to show me how close he is to the nurses and flirts with them. When we go out he will stare constantly at a particular woman and follow her around. Its like I'm not even there. The first month we made love all the time. Now he claims to be impotent. We never make love. He never kisses. ( maybe a peck on the lips) I don't know what to do. I have men that want to be with me but I won't cheat. I love him. Want to feel like I'm the only woman in the room when we go out. Want him to respect me because he wants to. I wish men were like our grandparents.
—smday5

27 Years Roller Coaster!

Been married 27 years but involved for 33. Had ups and downs but wouldn't of missed a minute. Marriage is about mutual respect ... taking time to talk together, honesty, and knowing that even though you absolutely hate them in the middle of that row ... it will all blow over!!
—Guest rach

Trust

I want trust to believe in me. A little privacy I am not hidden anything. But just believe in me
—Guest laura lopez

What I Want in My Marriage

communication and appreciation will be nice after ..... months of neglect and hurt .... all I have now is Hello and bye.. and that's a huge improvement ... it was not speaking or responding to me for about 8 months .... sex is out the window almost a year now ....
—Guest cindee

Nothing Is Ever Easy

Life's hard, marriage is harder with constant awareness of the other person, but I would rather live a life with him and it be hard than no other. pay attention to body language and little comments he makes. remember that he doesn't want to fight so approach in a nice way without attacking him. let him talk to you about how he feels. communication, and be best friends, that's what I think. the rest should fall into place.
—Guest tiffany

Bitterness

I have been married 4 almost 3 years but husband I have never shown me love. I mean I don't feel loved, he's busy with TV and movies. He dectate almost ever'g. He cant give me what I need at my time of need but when he want. He lyk pleasing outsider but he' too cold, making love is when he wants me. I cant go anywhere with telling him n even I tell him , he will comment negativly. He want to control even what we eat, what I wear, in supermarket he say what to buy, am just fed up his attitude, i lelf my job n now I hav bissiness n he want to control, am stressd.
—Guest Enrica

So True

I read the list and can relate to it. Married over 26 years, its getting worse. Sometime I feel like she deliberately irritate me to get a rise and when I respond I am the bad guy. I tried to leave several times but felt guilty. I think the meds she is taking is making her wacky. Kids complain too but she just cries, ignores what we say and claim we are all against her. She does not speak to us then complain we dont speak to her. I am at a loss. she refuses to go to counselling, when we do she seem uninterested in trying some of the suggestions. She uses the web a lot but refuses to even try some of the suggestions out there. She refuses to read and follow some of the suggestions. Our failed marriage is not all her fault. I have contributed to much of the problems. The fix will take both of us to do. She will say I am mean and that is true, but beating up on me will not fix things and she knows it. oh well.
—lonelyone1931

Be Myself

What i would want in a marraige or any relationship is the space to be myself. Of course it means that i have to give the same space to my partner. But, a relationship will survive longer and stronger only if you can be yourself in a relationship, and know that you will be accepted - no matter what.
—Guest Prakruti

Sex Not Everything Respect Trust Loyalty

Sex it should be love making, what rubbish do every position he wants! Don't mean he going 2 stay. I'd never disrespect my body 4 every position! Women should respect their body and soul. I'd never do the other way that isn't love just a sick act when straight men what that, he's got gay tendencies! Women don't conceive from there so y do certain males ask that? I divorced my exhub wanted that, swingers, 3sums! No way, men wouldn't want their daughters doing dirty acts, straight men are hypocrites! Divorce life is peaceful, stress free, marriage n kids are not for everyone, unless you find real love!
—Guest Marie

No More Respect

We have been together for at least 10 years now and have a 4yr old son. My girlfriend, she is now a medical doctor and I am still at school doing my final modules. We recently fight a lot, she is not giving me any respect, not doing anything around the house, and no more sex! She used to say "I love you" every time she hang up the phone, now she tells me the superiors were around, if I tell something she doesn't want to respond to, she is like "I can't hear you" then she hang up. I feel less and not loved anymore, I tried all the talks to let me go if she does not love me anymore but she insist she still love me. I love sex, what do I do?
—Guest DVITO

Self-centeredness

We are married for last 26 years. Having struggleful life. She has no interest in sex as compared to me. Now I feel she is so self centered that it keeps me irritated all the day. Though I am known very social and funny outside but in my family they say I am the most negative person. I cannot tell her and the family that she is reason for my so called negativness, if at all I am. But after reading the articles above and others' problem and issues, it looks like I have to make a lot of changes in me overlooking her selfishness and keep trying the best from side without caring what I get in response or not. I am noting all those points made by the wives above that what they want, kind of surprises, love expressions and emotions etc. BUT THEY SHOULD ALSO UNDERSTAND AFTER ALL WE ARE ALSO HUMANS, WE ALSO WANT TO BE LOVED, APPRECIATED AND TO BE FELT THAT WE ARE SPECIAL FOR THEM.. Lets see, minimum from tonight I am going to do my best, god will see the rest.
—Guest GUEST GURU

Reluctant

I was married for 14 years and have been divorced for 4. I'm very reluctant to be married again because I felt like I loved her and provided security but it wasn't enough. After reading all of your blogs why would I want to take that risk again? It seems dating and having fun is a much better option!
—Guest Joe

Zumba Girl

I am now divorced. My husband had 3 affairs, when I found out about the third one I was done. Now I am so lonely, wish I could meet someone to go out with. I am 62, how do you do the dating scene? I try to go out, go to Tims for coffee etc, tried on line meeting, only the too olds answer me, what can I do?
—Guest lonely girl

Who Wrote This Article -- A Woman?

Did a woman write this? No where did it say men want sex on a regular basis. That is how we connect in so many ways to our wife. Sadly, such requests are normally met with a dismissive comment(s) & attitude.
—Guest guest Dexter

Sexual Healing

My husband and I have been married for 27 years and sex is still going strong. I make sure all his desires are fulfilled. I give to him how ever, when ever, all nite and every position. I know ladies it's hard when you have kids and work outside the home. I do have kids and work but make a little special effort for your husbands, let go, put out and relax. Believe me, he'll want more, btw it don't matter what you wear to bed. What matters is what you do to him.
—Guest JAY

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