From the article: Emotional Needs -- Not Necessarily Filled By Your Marriage Partner
We've written about emotional needs and what wives and husbands often want from their spouses. We'd like to hear from you what you want from your spouse and from your marriage. What do you want from your marriage? Share Your Wants
- i have being married for 4 years, and i hardly enjoy sex with my husband as i would have love to, his manhood is small. and i will love to make it biger if i can cos i hate flirting and i dont even know how to talk to him about this. what do i do?
- —Guest eunice
- Also never take each other for granted and maybe do little precious things? Or try and make them seeee Maybe :/
- —Guest unknown
- I think there should be either time off or space or go to a beautiful relaxing place maybe even a holiday to clear the minds and think of how far you have come? How you fell in love? And remind eachother the little things or as the article explained give yourselves a break and know yourself :) have your own space but certainly try to talk things over, best wishes i hope it works i am not too sure thats just a suggesstion hope it works!
- —Guest unknown
Positive Words That's What
- Im 27f been married 1yr involved for 5. My man is 32. We dont see eye to eye in conversation! it drives me nuts. I need emotional conformation when i share conversation. (its embarrassing to me when im the one not on my iphone & he is the whole time were at dinner) He will find the negative in a convo & focus on that. if he does agree its real monotone never enthusiastic- what he chooses or sharesi support 100%. I Never agrue back with him, stroke his ego, do every chore, get freaky in the bedroom, cook bomb meals, run arrands for him, his friends n family love me. Hes a hard worker & does provide almost too hard of a worker- so the physical things are there- what about whats in the heart. Its making me feel old inside & drained. I need that spark that positive passion for life that together we can take on the world!
- —Guest Lil mrs
- It is really good for one to have this list that we have here. But, frankly speaking, respect which is reciprocal is for me the greatest element for an enduring marriage. When my wife of over eight years refuse to give me as much a respect as 'Good Morning' after morning prayers leaves much to be desired. My wife gives more attention to her work (Banking) than she does to the home. Maybe, it is because she is now earning more cash than myself who has been out of job for close to three years. This should not be the case as she was always in the know of my financial status when I was doing a job. I don't know my wife' financial status which ordinarily should not be the case. Openness, sincerity, respect and communication are the best attribute for a long lasting union of man and wife.
- —Guest lambito
I Want to Be Constantly Praised
- I want to hear from my husband how much I did good on a certain thing or compliment me into something or maybe on how I look on a sexy heels and skirt. Quality time is very important and a real conversation with my partner. A genuine and sincere love is always shown by doing little things like saying thank you and please.
- —Guest Butterfly_Kisses
Helping Each Other Grow
- play down each others weakness and help your partner when they need ur help. If your partner is not good at something help them, be supportive , join hands .. without thinking this is not my job .. see the delight. Marriage grows stronger. Know their shortcomings and help them instead of making fun or sarcastic comments.
Bitter for 28 years
- I've been married for 28 years to an unfaithful, ungrateful, selfish husband. At first he was like .. I'm sorry, I love you, please forgive me! I'll never do it again! Here I am, still married to him, still being unfaithful. Once a man cheats, he wants more, and he won't stop because he loves the thrill. Right now, I am at a point where I feel like my blood has turned to ice. I don't feel like I should be the one to keep the marriage together anymore. I had enough. I have a few more years of living to do, and I intend to find contentment and joy in life. This I will do without my husband!
- —Guest Bitter
- My wife isn't interested in sex, never really was. She thinks its for having children and after that, cease. So I take care of it myself. She has formed over the years an unhealthy relationship with our son. He's 24 and she worships him. They have an emotional incestous relationship. She does everything for him. She washes his clothes, cooks for him, follows him out when he leaves and even he complains. He resembles her brother who is now deceased and she had the same relationship with him also. She once remarked that she and her brother could live together when I and his wife died. Well, he died a few years ago. So what do you think is the answer? I'm sure there isn't one, lol Thx
What I Want Women Can't Offer
- All the things in your list should be given to any human being. They make up the foundation of basic human respect and dignity. What I want? I want a woman who has an equal obligation to me. But this isn't possible. Name one obligation that women have towards men that are enforced by law or social custom and she can't get out of? There are none! And because there are none she can never "fail" at anything. And because the obligations are all on the male side, whenever we fail at them women can only describe themselves as victims. This dichotomy is unsustainable in a relationship and incompatible in an equal partnership of marriage. What I want is the knowledge that if I'm a good husband my wife won't arbitrarily and unilaterally divorce me, take my children and use the family courts to shackle me into a life of peonage and financial servitude. "Meaningful Visitation" is a oxymoron. There is nothing meaningful about being made a visitor in your children's lives.
- —Guest Jean Valjean
- Always the beginning is the best! Walks in the park / movies / dinner / take the kids out / etc. Been married for 11 years. I work 13-15 shifts but decent time off. 200lbs. 5'10" medium build. 10 lbs the most over weight. She is petite 120 5'8" stay at home mom / heavly envolved in school ( pta /pto volunteer etc. ) Loves to run ( started 3 years ago ) play soccor. I have always been the passionate one but would always take advice cause I'm not good at! She is beutifull / sexy everything I wanted in a women / mother of our kids. But when it gets down to it. She could care less if I was standing in the middle of our room butt naked with a hard on and rose peddles all over the bed with candles and soft music !!! If we are sleeping in the same bed she moves to the opposite side almost falling off. Will only kiss when saying good bye and thats a peck! No affection / no compliments towards myself but I give to her ! Lately I have stopped cause I have tried eveything !
- I just want my husband to make me feel worshipped like I worship him. He does not take me out. Too tired when he is working (28 days on 14 off) and then forgets when he is off. I even gave him a pad of Sticky notes. I do not need much to feel loved. For 3 years I have asked to go dancing, out to dinner, movie but get nothing. I wanted a Kindle, got an Android. He just doesn't care what my wants are. I just want to have him take me out, and I wish he would decide. If I say "We are going out to X for supper and see the movie Y" that is me doing all the work. I think he is in a MLC but as long as there is sex, almost every day I guess he thinks I should be happy. I want him to take me out in public and to look and feel proud that I am on his arm. So sad lonely
- —Guest lonelylady
- I have been married 4 almost 3 years but husband I have never shown me love. I mean I don't feel loved, he's busy with TV and movies. He dectate almost ever'g. He cant give me what I need at my time of need but when he want. He lyk pleasing outsider but he' too cold, making love is when he wants me. I cant go anywhere with telling him n even I tell him , he will comment negativly. He want to control even what we eat, what I wear, in supermarket he say what to buy, am just fed up his attitude, i lelf my job n now I hav bissiness n he want to control, am stressd.
- —Guest Enrica
- I read the list and can relate to it. Married over 26 years, its getting worse. Sometime I feel like she deliberately irritate me to get a rise and when I respond I am the bad guy. I tried to leave several times but felt guilty. I think the meds she is taking is making her wacky. Kids complain too but she just cries, ignores what we say and claim we are all against her. She does not speak to us then complain we dont speak to her. I am at a loss. she refuses to go to counselling, when we do she seem uninterested in trying some of the suggestions. She uses the web a lot but refuses to even try some of the suggestions out there. She refuses to read and follow some of the suggestions. Our failed marriage is not all her fault. I have contributed to much of the problems. The fix will take both of us to do. She will say I am mean and that is true, but beating up on me will not fix things and she knows it. oh well.
- What i would want in a marraige or any relationship is the space to be myself. Of course it means that i have to give the same space to my partner. But, a relationship will survive longer and stronger only if you can be yourself in a relationship, and know that you will be accepted - no matter what.
- —Guest Prakruti
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