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Readers Respond: The Impact of Pornography on Marriages

Responses: 163


Angry and Hurt

my parner has been spending more time on his laptop and phone, he even takes them on the loo with him. i checked his history on his tablet and he wasnt looking at porn but philipino dating website plus others with naked or nearly naked women on it at least 4 times a week. i confronted him as he has known since i met him i wont put up with that stuff he was like a rabbit caught in the headlights. then denied it then said he'd caught the button by mistake i said what about 30 times! i said show me you phone then and lets see what youve been looking at on there. he has it in his pocket and has hid it since and took it everywhere with him. id say guilty god nos whats on there. ive been with him 20 years, am 11 years younger, for the last 10 years he has had sexual performance problems on his side, and not been able to ejaculate during sex for the 3 years. this last year or more we havent had sex. hes no interest or so i thort the creep!
—Guest mug

Lies and Porn

My husband and I have been married for four years. We had a rule about watching porn together. He agreed. I trusted him. Recently I found out he has been watching porn on a weekly basis and our sex life has been going down the tubes. He would blame it on me whenever he can. When we first dated I was not ok with porn, but I became flexible and made a compromise. To have him break our compromise and lie is hurtful and deceitful. Before I had evidence of his porn habits, he would flat out lie saying I was crazy and hurting his feelings! Imagine how deceived I feel right now , but least I know I am not crazy. Imagine what else he could be lying about straight to my face? My heart is so broken and I feel disgusted
—Guest Exhausted

Sexually Attracted to Other Women

I been dating my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years now. I discovered that he liked to look at porn, video models, big booty, latinas online. I confronted him and told him to stop. I discovered this by looking at his cell phone. He said he would. I caught him a second time. He woke me up in the middle of the morning to have sex. After we took a shower I looked at his phone and saw what he was viewing. I figured I didn't turn him on, looking at those women did and he used me for that purpose. I confronted him and he lied. I asked him later if he was still doing that and he said no that if I accused him or an "innocent man" that that would drive him to do it. I left it alone. Caught him again, again he said he would stop. I just caught him a fourth time. The day after he claimed he had a rug burn from our last sex session and it hurt and we couldn't do it. His excuse this time was I had an attitude the night before about sex and I made him not feel man enough & thats why he did it. BS! I'm done.
—Guest Jael

Scary Times

This needs to stop. Somethings got to give. Our world is hurting from this, women are crying. Men are shut away, sitting on toilets with their smartphones in hand, imagining screwing other vaginas they stare at while jacking off. It's insane! Now everyone can access it with a phone?? Who would have forseen such degradation 20 years ago ... imagine our great grandmothers having to deal with this. Their hearts break for us. No one need tolerate such blatent selfish disrespect. Talk to him. Put filters on everything for the purity and clean living you both deserve, including children. If he is lying and it continues, leave. There are plenty of men that arent regularly doing that and will treasure a live woman like the jewel she is! Life is short. Don't put you and your heart last. Put it first. You all deserve oh so much more. YOU ARE THE PRIZE! Please never lose sight of that.
—Guest Still Here

Young Family Broken

My husband is 33 years old and has sex with me often. Over the course of our 8 year relationship the issues of porn have been brought up talked about and I have expressed how aweful it makes me feel. he never stopped he continued .. he lied and he masturbated to porn while he was supposed to be watching our new 7 month old daughter. The second I leave the house hos first imstinct is to masturbate to porn. I know he is thinking of those women when he is with me. While they are gorgeous creatures I look nothing like them. It is more than obvious that he likes what I do for him as far as taking care of him and giving him a family. But I am not what he wants sexually. I am just a wet hole he settles for at the end of the day. My 6 year old and her baby sister will ultimately suffer the most as their family is headed for divorce. I asked my 6 year old if she thought her daddy loved me and she said not really. We are headed for divorce as soon as possible. I cry on a daily basis.
—Guest Sad Wife

To the Stupid Men Out There

To the husbands out there: What if, for every site you looked at porn on, you had to post a naked picture of your wife for other men to enjoy? What's the difference? You're enjoying other women sexually, why can't other men enjoy your woman sexually? Make you sick to your stomach? How do you think we feel? We don't want to share you any more than you want to share us. It hurts us to see that you're sharing that most intimate part of yourself with someone other than your wife. We feel self conscious, ugly, and hurt. I don't go out to strip clubs. I don't take pictures of my butt and boobs for other men. Why is it that you feel the need to look at pictures of other women showing way more than you would ever want me to show to anyone else? You're a consumer of a product, and if you're uncomfortable with your wife being the product, you're doing something wrong.
—Guest Stupid men

It Hurts My Feelings

I am incredibly frustrated. I keep finding my stupid husband's porn on the history of our computer. This was an issue before we got married. I found stuff open on the computer the day I bought us a house, having expected celebratory sex in our new empty place. I also found stuff involving pregnancy the day after a conversation about us not having a kid for until at least 5 years after marriage. I also found a picture of an ex-girlfriend's vag open on our computer, which he claimed was there because he was erasing everything that might make me uncomfortable from his old phone. We have an awesome sex life, but it's not nearly active enough for me, and I can always tell when he's watched porn that day, which is a huge turn off for me. We've talked about it before, and I feel very self-conscious and hurt every time I find it on the computer, but he won't stop, or at least keep it to just his phone. I'm worried it will lead to him cheating on me. I already feel cheated on. What do I do?
—Guest Just Married

Is His Porn Use MY Fault?

I feel like my 35 year marriage is over. My recent discovery of my husband's porn use during our marriage (even though I begged him years ago to stop) and the countless lies he has told - is all my fault. I adored him, I always tried to be a sexual siren for him, kept my figure and made him feel like a stud even though he had ED. His only excuse for lying about his porn use for so long, was that he 'just wanted to look at all those young, gorgeous naked girls'. He stopped finally after being caught - so I do not feel he was a porn addict - so I need to know if it is the wife 'not being able to turn back the hands of time' enough justification for his years of lying to me about his growing secret internet porn use. Editor's Note: Of course, his use of porn or decision to lie to you is not your fault.
—Guest Phea

Webcam and Porn Chat

I think I have gotten past the videos and pictures and the whole bad acting movies..but the live webcams and web chat to me is just a form of legal prostitution.. I just cannot compete or even try to anymore.. even when we have sex which as of lately isn't often.. I find myself crying when it's over.. I've tried the whole talking thing and it works temporarily but he just must find these cam girls more interesting.. as long as he's paying.. they will give all the attention he wants.. so I guess I become one unsatified customer!
—Guest beyond caring

Haunt and Destroys My Marriage

My husband and I has only been married for 3 years. From the start of our marriage I have discovered pornography on his laptop but I kept quiet forcing myself to believe that that was from his past. Few months down the road while he was working I discovered more videos and images of naked women, women masturbating and various websites. He called me a b*** and kicked me for not accepting it. Few months later I got pregnant and again he left his phone at home and I found sex dating websites where he exposed himself searching for women in the site while stating himself as single. I was pregnant and devastated but he continued hurting me he continued that worthless search and indulgence of naked women while slowly hurting me. I then found bills from what he has paid just for a porn site. I wanna scream every single day how much I despise pornography how much it destroyed me as a woman as a wife as a mother and how much it haunts me every single day. All I wanted was a real marriage

There is Help

Check out the website YOUR BRAIN ON PORN. It will give you insight on how the male brain works and the epidemic that we are all experiencing because of internet porn. You are not alone and it has nothing to do with you as a woman.


First of all let me start by saying I am not in favor of porn in a marriage "IF" it is not OK with both parties. Scientific studies prove that when porn is used instead of having a real intimate relationship it is damaging. There MANY women who will do anything their man desires and it is not enough. Have sex multiple times a day and its not enough.

He Broke Me Completely

I am 28 years old, it's been 1.6 years of my marriage i and my husband live in a long distance relationship. In my initial days of my marriage my husband never missed the chance to hurt me , he has huge collection of porn movies, mms and nude photographs of chicks . One day after cooking i went to our bedroom and i caught him masturbating and watching mms of a nude girl . I was so much broken and my eye filled with tears . Though I look attractive even have far better look than my partner but still he finds other girls more prettier . I always asked him to stop watching naked videos as it hurt me alot but he always broke my trust and kept hurting me. Ours is a love marriage , i always loved him but i never saw love from his side . I feel he married to me just because of having sex nothing more than that. Its always good to be single rather having partner like him.
—Guest Monikamalo

This Is Why So Many Are Hurt...

The article is riddled with lies. This is why porn causes such devastation in marriages. Things like this tell the women who have been abused and cheated on that it is just their insecurities! Marriage is supposed to be monogamous! If you use porn, you are no longer faithful. If you go outside your relationship for sexual gratification or excitement you are cheating. Everyone keeps referring to what the other partner feels ... it doesn't matter. Marriage was instituted by God, and the bible tells us in no uncertain terms, porn is adultery, no question no debate.
—Guest Notlost

Why Can't He Stop?

I just cannot believe him. He always telling me that he never had sex with other women but I cannot believe him he watch porn on tv when I'm sleeping
—Guest no body

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