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Readers Respond: The Impact of Pornography on Marriages

Responses: 305


I am Model But Still My BF ...

I recently discovered that the love of my life watch porn. I have a relationship with my bf from highschool. We have been together for 5 years . We were doing sex with my partner almost every day and often 3 or 4 times per day. Some days we literally was doing sex all day. I am doing everything to sex (of course things only between me and him ) .I never refused sex .Now iam 22 years old , i have a perfect body i have big natural breast e.t.c , i could be a porn star if i wanted that. I am saying all this to you because i saw that some of you blamed yourselves and your appearence and you thought that if you were younger or more beautiful your husbund would not used porn. That 's a big lie. I understund that it's nothing wrong with us but sth wrong with their head. For 3 years he was keep telling me that he never looks sexually other women and he wanted the same fidelity from me.. I was never looked other man even if they were flirting me like crazy. I feel empty and desperate.
—Guest penny

His Masturbating Eats Me Up Inside

my boyfriend and I were together for almost 3 years when I discovered he watched porn when I turned him down literally like the first time ever. This has hurt me and made me feel not good enough. I know he still does it ... not often, but I wish it was not at all ... and I wish he would just admit he does it. If I try to mention it he says I'm crazy and he never does it ... just that ONE time I caught him .... yeah right!? I was masturbating from time to time just to get back at him ... I felt like that guilt would help balance my emotions about him doing it ... it didn't. I quit masturbating because I felt it was unfair of me to look at another person (face to face or an internet whore) for sexual gratification. It bothers me and makes me feel not good enough that he still does it and can't be honest about it. I know he doesn't do it all the time but it makes me feel very icky. It feels like a betrayal if u have to hide it because your beating it to another gurls pu**y. Sorry not sorry
—Guest Paula


I am male and I watch porn. I know it's not a good thing to be doing and I know it's making my partner seem less attractive to me. I know it's diminishing our relationship, I'm trying to get counselling to stop. I want to stop because I want my girl to be special to me. It did take me a long time to see it as a problem though, and ultimately no man will change until he sees it as a problem for himself.
—Guest Idiot boy


First, I have spent hundreds of hours getting info regarding this porn issue, from sound advice. People MUST understand. The innocent spouse did not cause it and cannot. cure it. The addict will be forced to choose, family, jobs, friends OR the porn. This will cost him/her. Right along with the rest. I myself , refuse to remain married to someone I cannot trust. Its not the porn that really bothers me because it is so fake, what does bother me is the lies, deception (even after agreements were made) and the denial. The porn will make over time, a guy small, limp and alone.The body will not be able to produce enough of the pleasure inducing hormone for arousal, that is where it all begins, and ends. I cannot control the addiction, but I can damn well control how I'm being treated because of it. I would rather live in a dumpster and be alone, with little kids or not. This is the last straw for me. If the porn industry wants people like me out of their bedrooms then they can shut the door!!
—Guest jaxscat1


Most of you are crazy. You feel your husband has lost sense of reality, when in truth you have a distorted sense of reality. It seems a lot of you have fallen to the system aka church, social conformaties, etc. Analyze your life and figure out what really matters.
—Guest wtf

Porn Hurts

I've been with the same man for 8 years. The first time I caught him masturbating to porn was after 3 years and I was shocked, hurt and in so much pain I wouldn't sleep in the same bed for a week. He promised he wouldn't do it again and that he didn't know it would hurt me. Since then it's been numerous times note I've seen him looking at prostitutes online. Caught him again 2 nights ago and made him leave last night. Heart is broken.
—Guest Just Fed Up

Doing Everything

I do everything my husband wants the most kinky stuff and I pretty and 136lbs. and still he looks at porn just found out cant stop crying. I give him a blow job all the time wenever he asked and im the first to make him cum that way. what t is wrong with him . I think even when a man has his dream woman its still not enough. its rare for a man to learn wat he reallt has. oh well I have a dildo and they dont require me to be perfect
—Guest memi

Tired Of Being Hurt

My husband and I have been together for 9 years 5 of that being married. I'm 24 and blonde, I believe that I am pretty. But my husbands sneaks and watches porn late at night even though he knows how I feel about it. I believe we have a good sex life, being that he gets it multiple times during the week. But recently he has changed. I do things for him to keep him focused on me and not porn but its worse now. It started that he only wanted blow jobs now he wants anal sex. No matter how many times I tell him that its not what I want. So if I don't give it to him, he heads straight for the computer. I don't know how much more I can take. My feelings are so hurt, yes you can say its made me insecure. I love him dearly but I cant handle the porn. Don't know what to do???
—Guest Ashley

My Husband Can Only Get Off With Porn

I have been married for a year and a half now to a 61 year old man I am 53. I consider myself an attractive woman although I am about 20 pounds overweight but still have a beautiful body. My husband has never been able to penetrate me due to a erectile dysfunction. Although when he watches porn he gets very excited and can get off. He has wanted to watch porn with me but it makes me sick to my stomach and it really hurts my feelings. I cannot compete with 20 year old junkies. I do not know what to do I feel unloved and I want to find somebody that will be interested in me. What should I do? Editor's Note: It would appear to me that the two of you need to get more information as to the extent of his dysfunction. I recommend you talk with a counselor and a medical professional before making any life changing decisions about your marriage.
—Guest colleen petro

Scared Maybe I'll Get Divorce

My husband is the first man I slept with. After 1 year marriage and 3 years together I knew he watched porn before sweared he won't do it again. I caught him watching porn in his history. I confronted him took the phone and watched porn in from of him. He is really upset about it. Told me that he can watch porn but not me. He humiliated me and manipulates me. And I am younger then him beautiful. I'm athletic and I have big boobs big a**. So wtf seriously. He made me feel like crap. I want him to Change but he said he won't. I don't know maybe divorce but I feel like I'll regret it. I'm scared and alone and feel hurt by him. to me porn is cheating.
—Guest Someone really sad

Men Will Never Understand

Been with my boyfriend ten years. for two years it was really bad because he was in denial about being obsessed with porn an i got to say what ive learned. no matter how much they say there gonna stop they dont. they will always look at it an not because were unattractive or has anything to do with us as women. its plain an simple they see it as a quick easy nut without doing any work. see they dont realize its one sided. when your making love are both of u into it. probally not. he probally is thinking about getting it over. see men are simple. they like to get to the point. its a loosing battle an he probally dont even remember what these women look like. so u can do two things. talk through it an learn why he does it. see if its a once in a while thing or all the time thing. if u dont want to bother with it an except it then u need to move on cus it wont change. i went to school an am currently a counsler for couples.
—Guest stacey

Men Are Weak...

Men are weak. 11 year marriage and just as long of him trying to make me think I am crazy. I am far from perfect and clearly not all he wants otherwise he would not resort to it each time. Even since the start I have only asked to be honest with me and include me in his fantasies. Still he cannot give me that. Instead he prefers to sneak around behind my back, lie to my face, when I was pregnant, when I was away, when I am sleeping or at the gym. Like a f*** child. Sorry that I am not a sex drone and several times a week to daily is not enough when we have so many kids (6 to be exact) and are so busy and every time we have sex risks getting pregnant again. Sorry also that sex has been less than great for me and your lack luster **** because your too busy jerking off that you cannot even keep it up hard enough to handle me the way a man should. Ever think I'm bored too? F** you and your weak excuses. I have no fight left. It's easier to be alone.
—Guest FindingMyWay

Wife Addicted to Porn

My wife has an addiction to porn and it has torn me apart; her objectification of men frustrates me to no end. She constantly wants to experiment in the bedroom and knowing that this came from her lustful porn viewings on the internet leaves me feeling empty inside.
—Guest Unnamed Guy


I found out my husband was viewing porn, it came as a huge shock, as I had no suspicions. I am not sure what I can do to move past this. I have tried acting as things are normal. I feel disgusted, unwanted, unappreciated. I have to force myself feel comfortable. Throughout the years I gave him pictures, he claimed since he lost his phone he went to search for others. It is a low blow to ones self esteem. The sad thing is, he said he couldn't get hard, couldn't ejaculate. Apparently his imagination was no longer enough, that pictures (his words) he was not attracted to, were trying to fill the void. I must have done something wrong. I feel this pregnancy has taken any chance of him being attracted to me away. I just have no idea how to move passed this. I was wanting to work on our marriage, after today I am not sure. He claims he has control, but if that is the case, why not control his actions? I understand people fall, but he claims that he wasn't going for the girls. What was it for
—Guest Woodbury

Photos More Exciting Than Real People

My husband and I have been together for 10 years, and we nearly divorced when I caught him viewing porn WHILE I WAS IN LABOR with our fourth child. Enough was enough. He has since stopped watching porn and believes he was addicted. We've got our sex life back... but, we've discovered something very strange. I've taken erotic photos of myself, and he finds these more arousing than my actual self sitting next to him! It's like his sexuality is now adapted to images and not real people. It's disturbing.

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The Impact of Pornography on Marriages

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