Women Are Not Sexually Aggressive Enough
- I'm a porn addict, but I'm deeply in love with a woman. Speaking for some men, the turn in porn is that women portray themselves as sexually aggressive and initiators. Men wanted to be desired and feel that we are wanted sexually by a woman. I feel that if more women would truly want sex ... and give it, talk a little dirty, act a little slutty ... fulfill a fantasy or two, men would have no reason for porn. My desire and my GF's are not even close. I'm sure that's the same case in other people's situation.
- —Guest giveit2me
- I know exactly how you feel. I have been dealing with this for a long time! I am like the last writer. Almost 10 years younger. I WAS to blame, was his wonderful rational thinking. I refused to believe it. I told him that I was done! No more sex from me! He made his choice, he could use his left or right hand, I didn't care anymore and I would get it from wherever. He was furious BUT it didn't take him long to realize the consequences! Now he's sorry! Fire with fire! It may not be right in some people's minds but its the only way I feel loved ... I have been having an affair that he knows about for 3 months. I will stop and have sex with him again but there honestly needs to be some kinda punishment for him as he did to me. I love him and now he treats me well. He tells Me I'm beautiful and Hasnt watched porn since my affair. Lesson learned!!
- —Guest Your not alone
My Side of The Story
- To all the hurt women on here, I am sorry. What these men did to you was wrong. I am a man struggling with porn and have been since I was 13. I never turned down sex with my wife due to it but that was the problem in a way. I loved women. The touch, the feel, everything. Porn was just a way of getting more sex when the real thing was not there at just that moment. I kept watching till I was married for almost a year when I just admitted it to my wife. She didn't know, but from then on she knew I was serious about giving it up.
- —Guest Guest
- I have been with my partner for 6 years and married for 1. My husband is almost 50 and I'm almost 40. The way he is, I honestly didn't think he would go behind my back and watch porn. He treats me well, he's strong and my rock. I love him and I am shocked that this has become a problem. I found 2 porn pages open on the laptop. One was a porn site and the other was for a site called fling or something like that. I left that night and stayed in a hotel room to try and grasp the situation. I didn't tell him where I was, only said I wouldn't be home. I left the laptop on the bed for him to see when he got home from work with the pages open. I knew there was a problem before this. Our sex life isn't there anymore and when i try to initiate sex he refused. I blame him and porn. He broke my heart. When I came home the next day, he said he loved me and that was all. Nothing else. I will NEVER have sex with him. I can't compete with the younger prettier girls. I feel so low, ashamed, unloved and hideous.
- —Guest Hideous me
Makes Me Sick
- Recently i found porn sites on my husbands cell phone web browser history ... I found it a few weeks ago too and got upset but he denied it and got mad at me. But this time I threatened divorce (we have had issues with other things in past) and he admitted to it. I'm not a size 6 with perfect body. I'm so hurt by this, I feel awful. I keep asking him what I did to deserve this? He said how sorry he is and he says he won't do it again ... idk ... i'm praying he doesn't. I can't even be intimate with him due to I constantly wonder who he's actually thinking about. This does ruin marriages ... soooo sad.
- —Guest kg
10 Years Later Just Want to Be Me Again
- I was the whole package ... Great sex great relationship then the drugs next he combined the porn (sex) drugs and master action It snuck up on me I always had a great self esteem positive attitude and confidence I was so sure of "who I am" that it would have never crossed my mind HIS problem would break me to my core. It's the consistent problem that every time he turns to porn j/o for at minimum 24+ hours then after crying giving up and seeing myself as unwanted stupid and ugly (never even a thought before) I've tried offing myself but he just keeps on j-ing /off. Sometimes he's so sorry sometimes he acts like its a new conversation he's never heard before (which makes me want to murder him and makes me phthisic crazy btw) sometimes he hates himself sometimes he's angry and fights back, but whatever his reaction to my pain 1 thing is concrete fact. HE NEVER seeks help or even reads the info I have found he never makes any action to anything different. Him soon 2 b soft Me: PTSD
- —Guest This addiction cycle is PURGATORY
Porn Ruins Relationships and Trust!
- I have been with my partner now for twenty months. From being in a previous porn addicted relationship, this one is now taking its toll. I guess its not something you think to ask on your first few dates "oh by the way do you watch porn?!". At first it didn't ring alarm bells but when my partner started making excuses not to have sex in the early stages of our relationship, because he complained of being sore down there. I questioned this and he openly told me its probably because he watches too much porn. When asked how much (as we were living apart at this point) he told me a few times a week but sometimes twice a day. Immediately I felt broken, why is my partner whom has only been in a relationship for a short period wanting to watch porn over having sex with me. I then began to regularly check the history, to discover that this was still going on. I still don't trust him and on a daily basis I wonder what he looks at. Relationship has gone from being magical to be miserable for me.
- —Guest LJ
- No wonder how much of a superwoman we are, they will never be satisfied with what they have until someone else has it. Better off being single than unappreciated.
- —Guest Sally
I'm So Confused ...
- The man I have been dating for a year, was very open about his porn consumption, it's daily. I never thought much of it, in the beginning, we had sex often. after only a few months, it stopped. Completely. He has no respect for my feelings, and constantly rejects my advances. I know it's from porn. In porn, the women don't have emotions, there is no "real life", and because of this, we can no longer emotionally connect. He takes no responsibility for the hurt he causes, and doesn't feel bad when I'm hurt. He can't. Porn has blocked his ability to connect emotionally and sexually. It's over and I'm heart broken.
- —Guest Miss Reject
Love is Not Enough
- My boyfriend is wonderful in so many ways. We talk openly about porn, about sexual fantasies. There's not much I won't try. We've been together almost 2 years and for the first 6 months , sex was amazing and very frequent . I initiate sex, live role playing, sex in unusual places, I've suggested threesomes.... I've watches porn with him...Now, he barely touches me once every two weeks and looses his erection or tries to fake an orgasm (please!) to get out of sex. But he jerks off to porn everyday, sometimes twice a day. He's watched porn since he was 15 (now 40). I'm heartbroken because I'm now ending a relationship with a man I love . But I'm not happy and love is not enough. Good luck to everyone in a relationship with a porn addict.
- —Guest Gyada
Theology of the Body
- Go buy one of these books, Theology of the Body for Teens - Theology of the Body Explained by Christopher West - or The Theology of the Body (very dense and sometimes hard to understand). It answers nearly all your questions about sexuality and how to fix your marriage. John Paul II spent 20 years writing this work and I have encountered hundreds of couples that say reading it or parts of it has changed their marraige. Several people indicated to me that they were going for divorce, read the work, and now realize how to live a truly beautiful marriage. It is revolutionary reading no matter what faith you are.
- —Guest Theology
Communication is Key
- The reason people resort to porn - both male and female - is an attempt to fill a void within their hearts. They become desperate for affection and out of that desperation and low self esteem go to a soulless screen where judgement never occurs and there is a seeming acceptance of anything. They watch because you can't be rejected on a computer or TV. The "actors" in the porn industry overemphasize their desire to "want" the person in the film. The orchestration of the film itself tells you the problem. Take a porn video and what happens in it? There is sexual excitement, sexual desire, sexual want, and sexual release - of course not in the true sense. Many times a couple will not know that the other is needing something sexually. A lot of times you hear phrases like 2 times a week should be enough - everyday is too much for sex. That may be true for you, but at the same time it may not be true for the other in the relationship. Sometimes those that watch porn wont let you help them.
- —Guest Communication
Boyfriend Porn continued
- I know if I did something I knew hurt my boyfriend, I would stop. For example, he gets furious if I even look at or talk to another man. He starves me sexually, so I think I should be able to have sex with other men but I don't because I know it would hurt him. So it seems men basically are selfish & want a one way street, because women have same desires & temptations, but we consider our partner's feelings. I'm tired of hearing men say they can't help it. Maybe women should start being just as selfish so men can see what it feels like.
- —Guest Betrayed
- My boyfriend is 10yrs older, I'm beautiful & sexy, smart & funny. We are best friends & always laugh together. I have a very high sex drive & would like to do it 3 times a day, but at least minimal every second day. But my bf will have sex with me once a week or even longer. He turns me down when I want to have sex quite often & when we do have sex he tells me "i guess we have to have sex because you want it". That just doesn't feel right or good. Sex is something that both should desire with each other. Well, I found out he was looking at porn & asked him to stop. He said he did but I found out a month later he was lying. He said he stopped again & a friend told me recently he's hiding it. So just as he as the right to look at porn, I have the right to not want to be with a man that looks at it. So in addition to feeling cheated on, I am made to believe he's someone he's not from the lies. How can someone be ok doing something they know hurts the person they love?
- —Guest Betrayed
Porn Has Distroyed My Marriage
- I've been married for 9 years and have been dealing with a husband that is addicted to porn. It caused lots of damage to our marriage. It's hard to trust him cuz every time he would get caught he would say that he won't ever do it again. That was just a bs story he was feeding me. I don't think he realized how much it hurt me in so many ways. My self-esteem plummeted to the floor, I feel so unattractive and unwanted. Most if all I feel Ike my husband broke my heart. We are still together but it has been so hard for me to deal with so many trust issues. I feel like he fantasizes about other woman and wants to be with other woman. All this makes me think that he might cheat on me. I have these thoughts every day and its killing me. I need HELP!! Porn has destroyed my marriage!
- —Guest M jones