Is It Me
- I am hurting so much. I love my hubby to bits but I never get enough attention from him. I am an attractive person and get comments alone from men but never from my hubby. I told him this in the spur of the moment and now he' s unhappy with me. I've just been on his laptop and found downloaded porn again. This has been going on for many years. He says he just needs the release but I'm here and I'm very open to new sexuial things. I'm not shy and I would do anything to please him. So why does he hurt me so much. I feel I am falling apart and never seem to have a week when I'm not crying over him. We have 2 boys and I do a lot around the house plus two jobs. I don't know what more I can do. Is it worth calling it a day in our marriage...
- —Guest Lydia
Enough is Enough
- I too have a porn watching hubby. (yuck) He lies, he blames me, he is into some degrading stuff which makes me think in general he has no respect for women. I feel this is humiliating to me, insecure I am not! If I knew then what I know now I wouldn't of married him. I was sexually abused as a child, he has come to me and has asked me to call him daddy, or grandpa, I wanna slap him, this shows me exactly what he is watching and trying to act it out with me (sick) Yes he knows what I went through as a child but to me doesn't care. It is destroying our marriage definitely, he says he won't do it but does and lies about it. I am a firm believer that it is a string of events, soft core leads to harder stuff etc. I signed us up for couples counseling (his request) but he refused to go when it came time, I have to wonder if he feels ashamed? I have decided to get my life on track, (6months top) and than slap him with a divorce and yes I want half for the misery and hurt he has put me through.
- —Guest yara
Was This Because of Porn
- Prior to finding out my husband was watching porn, I used to notice that in his sleep he used to make slow thrusting movements. Since stopping watching porn this has never happened again. Has anyone else found their partner did anything similar. My husband says he was not aware he was doing it, it makes me wonder whether he was having dreams about the porn he watched.
- —Guest lizze
Nip It In the Bud!!
- When we were dating, he told me he struggled with porn. He was really responsible, though, and had an internet program that sent "red flag" reports to his accountability partners (me and one other person) when he looked at stuff he shouldn't. So I felt that he was trustworthy... now we've been married for two years and I just found out he has been doing it again recently. I'm just sick. It feels like he's been having affairs. He's been sexually involved with other "women", (porn), and hiding it from me from the past few months. The pain is unbearable. Especially because I just found out I'm pregnant with our first child, and I'm just sick of the thought of being stuck in a marriage with a perv. But one good thing is he was honest with me when I asked him about it. I will probably make him go to couples counseling. But if he doesn't man up and make some effort to stop this stuff before it gets more intrusive, then I am done. I will NOT live with a porn addict... only a recovering one.
- —Guest betrayed
I'm Going Nuts
- I just want some real insight on what's going on... Our sex life was wonderful at first... we've been together for almost 3 years and at first porn did not bother me because he was also having sex with me.. Now that I'm pregnant and I have to beg him for sex... He says he's worried about the baby but we haven't had any problems and I've talked to my doctor over and over again about it being safe and I keep getting the same answer that it's fine as long as it doesn't hurt me... But he's more then okay watching porn every time I turn my back... Especially when he's on night shift he rushed home home by 6:30 am and locks himself in the bathroom with his iPhone!! I've talked to him about it and told him how I felt... but that doesn't seem to bother him...... and it always comes back to the safety of the baby... It just seems like an excuse... Any advice?? Editor's Note: It does seem that the worry about harming the baby is just an excuse for the porn. This article may be helpful: http://pregnancy.about.com/od/sexuality/a/Sex-In-Pregnancy.htm
- —Guest amber
Sad
- Women feel watching porn is too terrible for them to bear. It's sad that you never took the time to discuss with your spouse. The only reason I watched porn was because I had sleep apena resulting to low sex drive. Watching porn made me sexually active to be able to perform my duties. My advice is to have a discussion with your spouse to see what solution you can work out. Trust me, it's better staying to solve your problem than leaving and being alone for the rest of your life. (Trust me all men watch porn).
- —Guest russell
What if...
- What if you turned to porn because your wife rejected you in so many ways, rejected most initiations for sex? The husband wants to have sex with his wife and keeps getting rejected even after speaking nicely to her about the issues, multiple times, for multiple years. I then turned to porn for sexual satisfaction but never went out of the marriage.
- —Guest OverPorn
You're Not Crazy For Hurting
- Marriage is purposed to be for sexual pleasure between TWO people. If a guy wants to involve other women in his sexual experience, then he should not be married - peroid. You are not crazy for hurting, wife. Any wife, when loved and truly cherished by her husband for who she is, not for simply as another piece of beautiful flesh to relieve himself in, will eagerly want to have sex with her husband all the time. But the wife of a porn user knows deep down that her husband doesn't truly love her. And a wife who has a husband who is a gentleman and gives her the chance to orgasm everytime her husband has sex with her will also want sex as much as he does. Porn users train their bodies to climax quickly and without regard to the woman in the picture. Then they blame their wives for not giving them enough sex. Right!
- —Guest p.j.
Let Him Go
- If you are seriously being hurt by your partner's porn viewing even though you told him or her how much it truely hurts you .... then he doesn't respect your feeling or value your happiness .... if he can't stop breaking your heart then break away from the emotionally destructive relationship.
- —Guest Leah
It Is Hard to Accept
- I watch it once in a while like maybe once in 3 weeks but anytime my husband is on the computer, he is watching porn videos alongside whatever he is doing. I really feel he prefers it to me. If I have my way, I will quit my marriage.
- —exquire
What I Think About All This
- I just caught my husband watching porn on computer ... again ... It is been going on for all 5 years of our marriage. His explanation is always that he doesn't want to bother me. I am very attractive women and ALWAYS want to have sex, I would never say no, I like to do everything to please my husband. So I was totally confused. Now, after reading all posts, a lot of things is much understandable for me. First of all, I see now that I am not alone. And this is an addiction that destroys the marriage. I don't want to hear again and again that I am beautiful and sexy and there is nothing wrong with me, because when you are not here to have sex with me in real it makes that all hard to believe. I am always the one who asking for sex, dreaming that my husband come to me. But no ... Again and again I see cleaned up computer history - which right away tells me he was "loving" computer , or worst - I would wake up in the middle of the night and find him doing it. It hurts a lot! I am sure I will leave him when our children are grown.
- —Guest Valeria
28 Years of Marriage ... Topic Porn
- Men watch porn and masterbate and seldom if ever think of you the wife. He fantasizes about your friend, a neighbor or anyone who is an adult ... not my man "..yes your man too. Men never equate love and sex. To a man they are two different things. "Not my man"....yes your man too. This is something you must understand. Sex to a man has absolutely nothing to do with love. Most men would cheat if they could get a way with it. "Not my man "..yes your man too. To be honest if you knew what a man thinks about sex you wouldn't be straight. All this is hard truth for women and really hard when wives are insecure. But we do love, we. And be good husbands and fathers, but know these things are true for most men ....yes your man.
- —Guest bobby
Porn and Marriages
- Women are quick to blame men. If you are so attractive to your man and don't whine every time he makes advances saying you are tired, he'll not be looking anywhere. As disgusted as you feel, a man feels a thousand fold when his wife is always complaining of not being ready or not in mood.
- —Guest Genuine
Guest Opinion
- My partner and I both enjoy porn, I may watch it more than him!! We have been together for over 8 years, and have sex 6+ times a week. We love each other, and do not mind in the least. Maybe trust is the issue overlooked here :-)
- —Guest healthy sex life
It Destroys You to the Very Core!!!
- Porn hits you at your core!!! It affects every waking and sleeping moment of your life! It truly is the devil!!!!
- —Guest C
