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Readers Respond: Share Your Thoughts About Being in a Prison Marriage

Responses: 71

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From the article: Prison Marriage
In light of the extremely high divorce rate of prison marriages, where are the successful prison marriage stories? If you are married to a prisoner or were married to a prisoner, consider sharing your story with our readers. Share your thoughts about being in a prison marriage. Share Your Stories

Married By Proxy

I married my husband my proxy 3 years ago this week. He got out for while but messed up and will likely do some more time. My heart is broke, but I love him and will do whatever I can do to support him. Read about our journey. http://lockedapart.blogspot.com/
—lesalcordova

My Ride To The Mountain

The Journey & The Anxiety By: Saar-rah Robinson “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” Maya Angelou ANXIETY: A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. The night before the journey, sometimes I can’t sleep at all. I experience anxiety before we take our trip. Anxiety comes from not knowing what to expect once you arrive on the prison grounds… you never know if your car is going to be searched…dogs smelling you… lots of unknown factors create our anxiety. It is so important for me to sleep. I am driving and need to sleep, but I have anxiety as well. I have a duty to sleep because of the safety of my friends who are in the car with me. Most of the time I, the driver, am tired. I go get my friends and family providing door-to-door service to and from their home safely.
—SisterPrisonWivesBFF

Is This a Big Risk?

I'm in no way married to an inmate, but I might be one day. I met this pretty girl who works at the same building that I do. She would walk past and she stared back at me when I noticed her. Our eyes met and it was like magic. We always made eye contact everyday, but she never said a word to me, nor did she stop when she walked past. You see, she was being escorted - her crew cleaned our building and she couldn't make contact with anyone. Fast forward and I visit her in prison on my days off. We write each other like every day that the we can. There is a connection! She's getting out in just about 2 months and then she says she's going to call me. She doesn't live too terribly far away. Perhaps we can make something of it. She was busted for possession of a schedule I substance 1st offense. I've never served a day in my life. Do you think this idea is risky? My heart wants reassurance but will likely meet her either way. Editor's Note: Yes -- it is a big risk, but some risks are worth it. Just take things slow, okay? SS
—hopefulnLA

Reunited

Cory and I met in junior high. We have always had this connection although we were from different sides of the tracks. I went away to the military and he became a hustler. We would see each over the years and there was always this intense connection. Fast forward about 20 years and he contacts me through his niece. He says that he has loved me for as long as he could remember but his lifestyle prevented him from being the man that he knew I deserved. He says and I believe that he has changed. He has spent most of his life in the system but it was what he was taught as a kid. He doesn't want this life anymore. I love him so much. He wants to get married soon but I am conflicted. He is going to be moved to another state soon which is why I think he wants to get married sooner rather than later. I want to marry him but the idea of a prison wedding is just so wild to me. Please pray for us.
—Guest Shaun

Engaged

Wait untill your man gets out of prison to marry him. Im married to soneone in prison and from experience i should have waited. Many women dont want to wait afraid he ll change his mind . Believe in your self, some of these men leave their wives after getting released from prison. Put yourself first its not easy sleeping alone on your wedding night. r
—Guest roses

Girlfriend of Incarcerated

I met my boyfriend before he went to prison. It upset me that he waited the last minute to tell me what was happening in his life as far as his sentence. He said he was afraid he'd lose me. Now we are almost two months into his 15 months sentence. Though we aren't married yet, I love him and realize incarcerated or not he's the one for me.
—Guest guest mimo

My Boyfriend is Doing Life

I met my boyfriend as a pen pal while he was in prison. He has a life sentence that we are currently trying to appeal. I am in love with this man ive never felt this way about anyone. We want to get married & my family thinks im out of my mind for that. Is anyone else dealing with a boyfriend or husband who has a life sentence? I could really use some support since everyone is against my decisions. Editor's Note: I hope you listen to what those who care about you have to say.
—Guest kay

He's Doing 10 Years, So I Guess I Am Too

I met him in 2005 & I couldn't stand him. (We now laugh at the fact that I kicked him out of my apartment.) I cut off all communication until I received a FB message from him May 2012. He told me that he was in his 3rd year of a 10 year sentence. He was completely honest with me about the crime he committed & everything that transpired after that. We began to communicate regularly & as a complete surprise to myself, I began to love this man. I wanted to be a beacon of light in his world. Of course there was no support from my family, they thought that I was crazy & naive. We wed October 2013 & I do not regret my decision. Is it hard? Yes, it is. All of our disagreements/arguments are magnified because of the situation. Have I had to adjust my deeply rooted ideas of how my marriage was supposed to be? Oh yes I have. Guess what though? In my heart, I know that he's worth it. As his wife, I will keep him focused on every positive thing that is to come when it is his turn to come home.
—Guest Mrs. Forever 13

Got Married To a Lifer In the End

One day I was out shopping and my phone rang. It was this guy claiming he knew everything about me , where I worked , who I spoke to. He knew all about me. I told him to do one as I was with someone else. He said he had people keeping an eye on me for along time as I would be his future wife one . I laughed at him especially when he said he was in prison and he was a lifer, I didn't believe him. I avoided his phone calls but to my astonishment. He had my other number, I freaked out didn't answer my other number, he sent his brother down every night to the club I worked at. I never knew that the guy who use to be a regular customer who I use to say hello to was his brother , to convince me that he was in prison , his brother showed me his prison photo. I was really taken back . So I decided to speak with him and tell him am flattered but am not interested. He claimed he was in love with me . I told him I was in love with someone else , who had gone to prison recently . tbcl
—YAK47

Incarcerated Husband of 5 Years

My husband & I have been married for 5 years now and today I am finally at peace with my decision to married him. We have faced numerous issues stemming from insecurities, misunderstandings, worries & fears. I have had the fleeting thought of giving up this marriage, but I didn't. I relied on the belief that even though he is not perfect; God sent him to me - because I needed someone to make be stronger in all areas. I can be myself around him and we play & flirt with each other alot. I am no longer worried about others finding out that my husband is incarcerated. I, we define our own happiness. The support group that I attend helps to reduce & even eliminate the sense of isolation that I previously felt. I talk to him everyday, sometimes several times per day; even for a few minutes. I allow myself to cry with him, when I am sad. I freely share my feelings with him & express my appreciation for him frequently. His incarceration has not lessen my undying love 4 him. Thnx u God!
—Guest Debbie

Met While Incarcerated

Are you MWI? Please join us on our new support forum at http://metwhileincarcerated.com
—Guest metwhileincarcerated

Hard Time

I have been together with my partner that is in prison for 2 going on 3 years now, and it seems like this year has been the very hardest year of all. My man seems to be over the top jealous , he gets very mad whenever i miss a call and every time we speak our conversations are boring and silent.. i am mainly the one speaking. I am getting very tired of having to deal with the stress that if i don't answer a call or place him on hold for a couple seconds, i get accused of doing something i have not done and alot more other things as well. Sometimes i feels like maybe i should just let go, what should i do ladies?
—Guest Guest- Bloomy

Engaged

So there's this man that ive been in love with at first sight just new he was going to be mine and i went threw break ups n make ups with his for the last 3yrs and 2 yrs ago he got arrested and has been in prison the last 2 yrs and here it comes me visiting him 11 hrs away and he proposes i was in total shock and i said yes his mother was there n i just new this was what ive been waiting for but am i makeing the right decision he gets to a half way house around the end of 2015 and gets the end of 2016 i luv him so much and want to be able to go threw all this with him and i just need some guidance on am i doing the right thing some one please give me ur advice ive been reading all ur stories and need some input on what u guys think...
—frankiehun

One Day at A Time

My husband and I were together 16 years before his incarceration. I can't predict the future. His 2-7 yr sentence is sure but my life on the outside isn't. I take it one day at a time, living my life. The only promise I made was that I would not divorce him while he was inside. We are both going through changes that will affect who we are. The relationship would have ended sooner than later had this not happened. I'm currently facing the decision as to whether or not I want to be part of his "home plan". The personal rights that I'm expected to give up in my own home so that he can stay here doesn't sit well with me. I'm not willing to accept any responsibility for his bad choices. He didn't think of me when instead of coming home to his wife after work he went to the bar, drove drunk and seriously injured someone. Saving his life could very well be the demise of this relationship.
—Guest SYK

Prison Wife

Im Amy and my Husband's name is Tommy!We just got married on March 27th! Hes my best friend and missing puzzle piece n this crazy life!I just wanted to say no relationship is perfect whether u r inside those walls or out here on the streets.A real relationship takes work and requires 2 ppl who truly love 1 another and refuse to give up no matter what life throws at them! My husband has been down for 14 yrs and has 6 yrs left to serve!He'll be home n 2020!This is his 1st marriage and my 2nd! Im not new to the prison system because my ex husband has a long history of going n and out of prison.Anyways, Tommy and I have a cosmic connection.And hes not like any guy that I've ever been with before.He makes me feel loved, wanted, desired and beautiful!I cant imagine my life without him!Yes its not an ideal situation but giving up isnt an option! It takes a strong woman to be a prison wife!
—Guest Amy Garrett

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