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Readers Respond: What Do You Do to Get Your Marriage Out of a Rut?

Responses: 12


If you view your marriage as being on a one-way track to nowhere or feel stifled, your marriage is in a rut. What do you do to get your marriage out of a rut? Readers share their get out of a rut ideas.

It's My Fault

I know it's my fault that I feel like my wife hates me but I'm going to try all of these steps and see if it will put our marriage back on the right track because yes I do love my wife and I would do or try anything to keep her in my life.
—Guest James

How to Instantly Lift Married Life

When you each take responsibility for a rubbish marriage instead of projecting blame, you are on your way to change. While ever it's the other person's fault, in your mind, you will remain stuck in a rut and that is a fact. When you change the way you look at things, lose your ego and say hello to humility guess what, you become instantly very attractive once again.
—Guest Margaret

Wish I Would Have Listened

10 years of a marriage is about to go down the drain because of alcohol. Every weekend on the back porch having drink after drink. My father-in-law warned us of the pitfalls and we just laughed. 3 children later, it appears she has fallen out of love. I can't blame her, laundry is stacked to the ceiling, the house is in disarray. She is an overwhelmed mother, but a very nurturing one. Our kids are suffering a bit, maybe I should take on the Mr. Mom tag.
—Guest Cannon

He Has No Time For Me

He thinks there is nothing wrong. I can't tell him how I feel because he shoots me down all the time. He'd rather hunt or fish, if he's not working.
—Guest won't work

Won't Work

My husband will tag along ... will never make an effort to do any of these. We'll probably do it one day and then he'll laugh or get bugged. He doesn't think there needs to be excitement in a marriage. I am bored to death. Want out really bad but have two little kids.
—Guest notsolucky

What a Challenge

My husband hardly listens to me, he says his time is only limited to his work and his farming duties. So it's really hard to convince him to practice those quality time idea and he is also very stingy with money. If it comes to a weekend out he will tell you something better that you have to do with that money rather than spending it on a weekend out.
—Guest venee

It Appears I'm Too Late

Thank you for the ideas. I need to get creative about finding alone time with my wife. The past ten years of our twenty year relationship we've been distant. All my efforts to make my wife happy included doing things for her rather than trying new things with her. After ten years of neglecting myself and our relationship by guarding the strapped budget of a single-income family was a poor excuse to become uninteresting. We're still best friends but at this point she's fallen out of love with me. With much effort and prayer I long to win back the love of my life. Thanks again for the pointers, please lend me some prayers too.
—Guest Mark

Long After the Thrill is Gone

After ten years we just don't have anything in common. I come home from work and immediately go upstairs to my room to play guitar. She watches shows that I would rather be forced to drink acid. There are no common hobbies or interests. One night a week with the kids to a dinner doesn't count. I have gotten to the point where I think John Cougar was right ... Life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone. I don't know what to do. I want out but I have two young kids.
—Guest Boredtodeath

Sounds Good But ...

How do I get my spouse to participate in these ideas? He blames me for everything and never sees his own faults. And he'd rather call me names and spend a weekend ignoring me than to repair our two year marriage ...

Worse Than a Rut

I like these ideas, but seems like we can't move past the bad days. He has been texting a girl half his age and while he admits he feels old and foolish and nothing came of it, I feel it was because she was not interested in him. My problem, what if she had. My trust is shot.

gonna try it...

its just perfect thing i am looking at currently when things are exactly you have mentioned. i am surely gonna try it and update you in 2 weeks whenther they really worked for me or not..
—Guest mumbai

couldn't agree more

These are really useful and guaranteed-to-work advice. Doing something new with your spouse every day and spending more moments together (and lots of touching and cuddling) will bring the life back to your marriage. It's scientifically proven.
—Guest Orissa

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