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Readers Respond: Your Advice for Teens Who Want to Get Married

Responses: 100

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In Need Of Advice

Hi. I am 16 and my boyfriend is 25 .We've been dating for 3 years and have a five month old daughter. We are unsure if it's possible to marry in Arkansas. We also have parent approval. Editor's Note: Aside from concerns about putting your boyfriend in legal jeopardy due to your age difference, you may need a court order. If the county determines you don't need a court order, one of your parents would need to be with you when you apply for a marriage license. We have more information at http://marriage.about.com/cs/marriagelicenses/p/arkansas.htm
—Guest WickedMunekaX3

Need Help

I'm 18 soon and so is my boyfriend. He's already asked me to marry him and I said yes. I'm worried about telling my parents and when he asks my dad for my hand. When we are 18, do we need our parents' permission to get married? Editor's Note: I noticed your email was from the UK, and in most regions you do not need parental permission to marry if you are both 18 or older.
—Guest Jasmine

About Marriage...

I am 15 and just had a kid and gonna be 16 in a couple of days. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half and we want to get married so we could be a family. But I don't think my parents will take it too well. I already asked my mom about it but she hasn't answered me yet. What do I do? What do I say? Editor's Note: I hope you and your boyfriend reconsider your desire to get married at such a young age. Both of you, and your child, and your relationship will be better off if you both finish your education before you get married.
—Guest happy family

A Need to Know More...

So, my boyfriend and I (age difference is 6 months) are madly in love. We have never done anything except kiss and we have known each other for many years, he was my best friend and then a year a go he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said of course, I've been waiting for him to ask. We've been dating ever since and we want to be together forever. We've been talking about getting married once I finish high school but he will be going to college in a different state and we want to have the wedding here, where our families are. My parents love him and his love me. I feel like our relationship is one that will last forever but I was just wondering what advice you have about the pros and cons of getting married this young. Thanks so much ~M Editor's Note: Although there are success stories of young couples having long lasting marriages, the statistics are against your marriage being a success if you marry before being 25. This article may be helpful to you. http://marriage.about.com/od/teenmarriage/bb/teenbasics.htm
—Guest moi ;)

Malicious Maligning Toward Fiance....

I have been in a stable relationship for a year and five days. I was friends with my Fiance seven months prior to our dating. So a total of a year, seven months, and five days I have known him. My family (mother, brother, and mother's wife) hate him... At the beginning everything was chill. As him and I over came the 250 miles separating us, and lasted, they began getting pissy. My brother bad mouths him day in and day out. If I try to defend him (this never occurs around my Fiance) I get in trouble. Now he can't see me until he gets a job and license, we're both 17. Soon to be 18. All because he proposed to me. I mean I plan on staying in school and furthering my education and making the best life for me, and he's trying to do the same, but school is trickier for him. And kids are the LAST thing on our list, we plan on actually living life to it's fullest. So I'm not being irresponsible and destroying my future, but my family sure has been. I still don't have my birth certificate... Editor's Note: As soon as you turn 18, go to the health department and ask for a certified copy of your birth certificate. In most countries, you can get married without parental approval when you turn 18. This article may help you: http://marriage.about.com/od/familyconcerns/a/paradisapproval.htm
—Guest BassTigress

Proposed Already??!!!

Here is the thing. There is a boy that I have been dating for only a month this Saturday and don't get me wrong -- I'm excited about that. But I just got word from my gay best friend who I love to death and would never lie to me that he is going to give me a wedding ring and get down on one knee. I'm not sure I'm ready for all of this so fast. It's only been a month! I dont want to break his heart by saying no because it won't be no forever just for now while I finish high school. Im 18 and he is 17 and he talking about how he knew I was the one the first time he met me. and he calls me mrs***** before we text good night when I don't see him. I believe I do love him but I'm so confused on what to say and do. Help me please?? Editor's Note: Say what you said here -- it's not a no forever.
—Guest rina123

What Should I Do?

I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 19. We've been together for four years and we already have a baby together. My boyfriend has told me for a long time that he wants to marry me, but I think we can wait. My mom tells me since you have a baby together what's the point of waiting... I'm really confused and just need someone's opinion. I feel as if we aren't ready yet. Sometimes I want to find a counselor for us because we do have problems -- many of them.... Do you think it's ok to be eighteen and seeing a counselor with your boyfriend and do you think it's best to wait for marriage?? Editor's Note: Yes, it's okay to see a counselor with your boyfriend when you are 18. Yes, it's best to wait until you are sure you are ready for marriage and have addressed your many problems.
—Guest confused

HELP!

I am 16. I got married to my 18 year old husband about a month ago. He says I can move out because I am legally married and I don't have to have my parents know. I am from Ohio.... is this true? Editor's Note: I'm not sure what you are asking and if your marriage is legal. Did you have your parents' permission to marry? If so, I would assume they would expect you to live with your husband. If you didn't have your parents' permission to get married, your marriage may be invalid. I encourage you to talk with the county clerk's office where you were married.
—Guest Chalynn

Marriage Concern

Hi. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years and were planning on getting married but I don't know how to tell our parents. I just want to marry him soon because I love him to death and I can't live without him. Any advice. He wants to wait till I'm legal. I'm 18 in 2 years. Editor's Note: Your boyfriend is on the right track -- wait until you are of legal age to get married especially if you are unsure of how to tell your parents about your relationship.
—Guest ninjachickninjachick

my 7 years of love

Hi. I'm 17 and my fiance is 26. We have known each other for 7 years and want to get married but what is blocking us is I'm in the state's care and our age difference. I've been in bad relationships -- beatings and the whole 9 yards. He treats me like I'm the only girl left. He texts me and tells me how much he loves me and how I'm sooo pretty that he loves me because I can be my self around him. We don't have sex. We are waiting. I know I'm young and don't know stuff about love but I do. I lost my innocence when I was sexually abused by my uncle and stabbed in the back. I lost my V... to some stranger who was my friends' friend who was 25 when I was 11 and into drugs and drinking. I have 4 years clean and sober and I've been in love with him from the beginning. What do I do. Editor's Note: To keep your boyfriend out of legal jeopardy, I recommend that you wait until you are of legal age to marry and are no longer in the care of the state.
—Guest maria

Lover

I am 16 and my boyfriend is turning 21 ... we have been together for almost a year and would like to get married and I have my parents approval ... would it even be possible for us getting married somewhere? With your parents approval, there are locales that would let you get married with judicial approval. You do need to be careful though that you don't put your boyfriend in legal jeopardy because of the difference in your ages.
—Guest lover

Parents :(

i am 17 and my boyfriend is 20. We have been together for 9 months and I love him to death and I know he is the one for me. His parents love me. They are great people but my parents on the other hand hate my boyfriend but I just dont understand how they can judge him because they don't really know him. He is going to college right now and is done in 6 months and is planning to get a house so that we can be together with out any parent problems. iI turn 18 in october and will still be in high school when I move out. I don't know how my senior year will go all moved out and everything. We want to get married and start a life together but are scared of what my parents will do. I really do think that we can make it. But for the next 8 months we have to hide us being together from my parents so he does not get in trouble. It is a hard life and I hope it will turn out ok. I love him so much. Do you have any advice for me? Editor's Note: During these next 8 months, can you have him over for dinner at your parents' home, or have him stop by and help with yard work, or to watch a sports game on television with your dad -- give your parents a chance to get to know him.
—Guest caitlynn

I Do But Can't

I can honestly say I found my one despite my age and "lack of experience". My fiance is someone I won't mind marrying within the hour at all!! The only problem is that I'm 16 and he's 26. I know I should be thinking about colleges instead of just some guy but he's my guy. I do intend on going to college and he supports me through it and encourages me a lot to get my education. But it's the fact that our age differences keeps us apart and also the fact that he lives far from me. I even know what I would have to do if I wanted to marry him at this day and age since I live in CA and don't want to follow his fantasy of going to Vegas to get married lol... I want to be with him and also finish my schooling with him but reality checks in when it comes to my family approving this 10 year age difference. What should I do? ): Editor's Note: Continue facing the reality of your situation and wait until you have more schooling finished and you are of legal age before getting married.
—Guest Halie

Military, Marriage, Parents

I am 19 years old and my boyfriend of 3 years is 20. He just got out of basic training and will be stationed in AZ for a year. I am 16 hours away in Texas and we want to get married. I am very close to my family and my parents married young, 19 & 20 as well, and have been married in the military life for 20 years. They do not approve and are very much against me getting married before I finish school. I have about a year and a half-2 years left for my BA. I know I am going to marry him eventually and we do not want to wait but it hurts to go against my parents wishes. I am so conflicted. Will they ever forgive us if we get married? Editor's Note: No one can say if your parents will forgive you or not, but it is important for you to realize you are an adult now. The decision to marry is yours and not your parents' decision.
—Guest OK

What Should I Do?

Hi i am 16 and my boyfriend is 19 almost 20. We love each other a lot, and he asked me to marry him. My mom agrees but my dad don't. I am with him all day everyday and never at home. I asked my mom to let me move in with him and she won't let me. I don't know why she won't let me move out when I am never at my house. What should we do about marriage? should we wait till I am 18 or what?? We love each other so much and can't wait to get married, and then later on have a family of our own. Today we have been going out for 8 months. I think we are ready to start our life together, what about you? Editor's Note: Your mom is probably concerned about the legal aspects of you moving in with your boyfriend. You would be putting him in legal jeopardy. Wait until you are of legal age or until your dad is willing to give his okay to your marriage.
—Guest Christina

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