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Readers Respond: Your Advice for Teens Who Want to Get Married

Responses: 155

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From the article: Teen Marriage
Teens who want to get married often look for advice on how to get around the laws so they can get married. What advice do you think these teens need to hear about teen marriage? Share Your Tips & Advice

Question

I'm 22 my girlfriend is 16, I love her she love me too. Suddenly by mistake we had sex, what advice can I get? Editor's Note: See an attorney asap.
—Guest Kennedy

Should I Still Date Him?

I'm 17 turning 18 this fall he's 16 turning 17 this fall. A year apart. We've been dating since april but have known each other going on 2 years and u could say. we were close before dating too and overcome little obstacles. We will be seniors this year and move to college he wants to go to college further away from his dad but I want to go to college that's 15 min away. I think we have diff mind sets I've asked him before but he says after college which could be like another 4-6 years since it's marine biology. I'm sick of "being 17" we are both mature but it sucks especially to see one of my friends get married this fall don't get me wrong im happy for her but I feel like I need something permanent in a relationship otherwise dating is completely useless to me. I want to be married at 19 or 20 and I really love my bf I don't know how to discuss it with him especially if I have this summer and 1 last school year to really be with him before he moves to college. I can't handle LDR. Editor's Note: If you aren't mature enough to be able to handle a LDR, then you really aren't mature enough to get married. I hope you love him enough to encourage him to pursue his educational goals and career aspirations.
—Guest Bre

Confused

I am 21 and my gf is of 18 on next month we both want to get marred but her parents dont want to let that happen. please suggest me what to do... more than 4 year we were together in a relationship. Editor's Note: Much depends on where you live. Some countries allow 18 year olds to marry and others do not. Another consideration is the social traditions of your locale. This article may be helpful. http://marriage.about.com/od/familyconcerns/a/paradisapproval.htm
—Guest vini

The Feels

So im 15 and my gf is 17 shes pregnant with another guys baby that she broke up with some time ago she thought the hole in her heart would never be filled until I came along now she's deeply in love with me as I am with her I know im going to propose to her within a couple of days im just worried about how to tell my parents that shes pregnant and that im going to be proposing to her I really do care for her a lot do you have any advice? Editor's Note: Please don't propose marriage now or consider getting married until you have more life and more education.
—Guest Gage

LDR

My boyfriend and I have been together since our freshman year in high school. The catch is that we met online, and he lives in Colorado, and I live in Georgia. He is 18 now, and I will be 18 in a few months. The long distance is really getting to us, but my parents are making me take an extra year of school. We really just want to be together, and I have all the credits I need to graduate. We haven't really discussed getting engaged yet, because I wanted to run this by somebody before I brought it up with him. However, he's made his intentions clear that he wants to have a future with me and the feeling is mutual. My SATs and ACTs are high enough that I could get a full ride to college. Would it be a horrible idea if I got a GED and moved out of my parent's home and got married once I turned 18? Editor's Note: You will soon be of legal age and can do what you want to do. I am concerned about the fact that you haven't had much time together in the same locale and that you didn't mention how the two of you will pay your bills, how you will handle unhappy parents, etc. I do hope you give this relationship some more time before getting married or leaving school.
—Guest Wednesday

Help

I am 16 and my boyfriend is 19 and we want to get married can we ? Editor's Note: In most states, you have to be at least 18 to get married without having parental or judicial approval. Please wait until you finish high school. Then you can get married if you still want to.
—guestamy

Another Step Forward

Hello, I want to take a step further with my boyfriend and I. We've been dating for 6 years going on 6. We've even considered having children WITH parent approval. but at the moment, we can not hence there is college so we will wait. We do not want to get married because we believe we are maybe a little young, but have considered it in our college years (20's), but i wanted to take a step further, so I considered maybe promise rings. Will this help or is this just a foolish request? Please help! Editor's Note: I'm not sure how a promise ring can help your relationship. You've decided to wait until you finish college. That was a good decision.
—Guest Sandy Pearl

Tired, and Anxious

Me and my boyfriend been dating for 6 months. We been planning our future out perfectly. Every step in detail. I'm 15 bout turn 16 in July. And he is 17. I love him and I know for sure our future is set. But we don't get any space. Someone's always in our relationship. Btw I must add we have a son. And I wanna get married that way we can say we are old enough and mature. But I feel as though no one understands my reason to get married. Can I get some advice. Editor's Note: I do understand your reason to want to get married, but I hope you will try to understand why others think you both need to wait until you are of legal age and you have finished more of your education. Depending on where you live, even if you could get parental approval, the state laws may prohibit someone your age getting married. Additionally, life can throw roadblocks into perfect, detailed plans.
—Guest teen marriage

I Know What I Want!

Hello. I am fourteen. I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half. Every day, him and I both, dream of being married and together forever. We know what we want. And I am tired of people saying "it's too young; it's just your hormones; just wait; get your education first..." and other things. His parents adore me, and cannot wait for us to be married with children! (!!I WILL ABSOLUTLEY WAIT FOR CHILDREN!!) But on the other hand, my mom says "No way, not now" I just wish I could do whatever I wanted or just make years go by faster so I could have him as my amazing husband! Editor's Note: Even if your mom would say yes to letting you get married, the state laws where you live would probably prevent your marriage. I'd like you to let me know in a year or so if getting married is still what you want.
—Guest Jeanette

Wondering

Ill be 18 in a week and a half and my fiancé is already 18. We plan to get married on her 19th birthday in October. I was wondering when we would have to apply for a marriage license in Pa.were not having a big wedding but we want to get married in front of a judge and only have 2 or 3 friends with us. Can you tell me when we would have to apply for a marriage license and what type of wedding that would be where its me and her and a judge. Editor's Note: You have to apply for the marriage license in the state where you want to be married. Some states have a 3-day waiting period, some have none. When a wedding is performed by a judge, or county clerk, or someone other than a religious ordained individual, it is called a civil ceremony.
—Guest Seth Carper

Marriage

I'm 18 and have been dating my girlfriend who is 16 for 3 years , we've had some hard times and took a break for a while, I know her for about 10 years now. And we are thinking about getting married sometime in July. She loves me like no other and I love her as well. Is it to young for marrige, who knows maybe it would work out? Editor's Note: I think 16 is way too young to get married. You both need to get a college education before considering getting married. Additionally, you would need her parent's approval for a wedding at her age.
—Guest Mr. Cash

Reassure Me

My boyfriend and I are both 18, he turns 19 in 4 days, I turn 19 in 5 months and 9 days. We've been together for 14 months and have known each other for 4 years. We've known for months now that we found the one we'll marry one day. We planned on getting engaged after our 2 year anniversary and married after he graduated with his bachelor's, but special circumstances came up. I'm not pregnant. I just can't afford to go to college because of my parents' finances, and their finances will affect me until I am 26. He mentioned the idea of getting married quietly, a courthouse marriage, so that my parents' finances are off of my financial aid application, and have a "real" wedding later, when we can afford to. We would only tell parents and grandparents for the time being. We love each other more than anything and know we are meant to be together. I just need reassurance, because I'm scared of what our parents will say about our idea. He's the love of my life.... Editor's Note: I don't understand having a semi-secret marriage. If you are going to tell your parents and grandparents, then why not tell your friends too. Your wedding -- whether it is fancy or not -- is your "real" wedding. I hope you let those who care about you celebrate with you. We've been to some wonderful weddings that were held outside on the beach or in a pretty backyard and the food was potluck!
—Guest Daniella

This is Love

So im 16 & my boyfriend of 10 months is 20 , my parents recently found out i was sextually active which was so extreme, my parents were super angry but they talked to my boyfriend & my dad wants us to marry each other in about 2 months because he's scared my boyfriend will leave me , is that crazy? isn't it weird since im barely 16? I love him to death though. Editor's Note: Yes, that's crazy. Please don't get married so young.
—Guest Daisy

Advice

im 16 and my boyfriend is 26 ....I absolutely love him he told me he is going to marry me and that all he wants is me in his life .. he told me that he's gonna wait 2 years for me !!!!!! I know all about he can go to jail and too be worried about school and what I wanna do in life before making a big decision I KNOW I KNOW I DONT WANT TO HEAR NEGATIVE comments I ALREADY know we didn't have sex and we are not because that can get him in trouble I know we have a 10 year difference ....just gimme sum ADVICE: Editor's Note: Why is a 26 year old wanting to date a 16 year old? Aren't there any women his age in his social circles. What you've heard from others is what you will hear from me. Please wait until you get some college under your belt. You may find there is a world out there that your relationship with your older boyfriend keeps you from.
—Guest nene

Help

im 14 allmost 14 and my bf is allmost 18 @ he wanted to have sex yesterday so i had to come up with an excuse lol i love him alot but i dont wann get us in troble because of sex we have been together for Allmost a year. Editor's Note: I hope, Katie, for both of your sakes, that you continue to say no to sex with your bf. The difference in your ages could put him in legal jeopardy.
—Guest katie

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