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Readers Respond: Your Advice for Teens Who Want to Get Married

Responses: 101

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From the article: Teen Marriage
Teens who want to get married often look for advice on how to get around the laws so they can get married. Readers share what advice they think these teens need to hear about teen marriage.

Young Marriage

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and have known eachother since we were little kids. I'm currently 17(Will be 18 in December) and he's 18(Will be 19 in February). We love eachother very much and want to take our relationship to the next step. He's currently in the process of getting his pilots license (meaning he'll have a stable job very soon). I'll be going to college 4 four hours away from where we live now and we both want to live together, however, living together before marriage is against our religious values, so we want to get engaged after I graduate highschool and get married around June of 2015 ( I'll be 19 and he'll be 20). We're both very sure we want to do this and feel ready to make this mature and adult commitment. Both of our families approve of us and love our relationship, I'm just not sure how my parents and friends will react to getting engaged at 18. How do I react to the criticism? How do I politely let them know that we're ready for this? Editor's Note: Don't react or respond to any criticism about your engagement. Those who care for you and love you will be offering their best wishes. You can just say politely that you both are ready. Oh, and much happiness to you both. SS
—Guest Lizzy

Young, but Ready.

I am 17 turning 18 June of 2015. My boyfriend is almost 19. We have been together for basically four years. We plan on getting married. He wants a BIG wedding, and I don't. Anytime I say this he just gets upset. My father isn't for the marriage or for us being together at all, even though everyone else knows my boyfriend is a good guy and has never hurt me. How do I explain to my boyfriend I don't want a big wedding? And how do I marry this man without upsetting my dad? Editor's Note: I've heard often that planning a wedding is often a "boot camp" for marriage as so many decisions and compromises must be made by the engaged couple. If you two can't compromise on your wedding, that is a red flag for your marriage. As to not upsetting your dad, well, keep the lines of communication open with your father. If he continues to want to be upset about your marriage, that is something you can't control.
—Guest lia

WANT IT BADD!!!

Hi i'm 17 with a 8 month old daughter and my boyfriend is 19 and we want to get married, CAN WE? Editor's Note: In most areas, you need to have parental approval or judicial approval to get married at 17.
—Guest Tanisha

Question

I'm 22 my girlfriend is 16, I love her she love me too. Suddenly by mistake we had sex, what advice can I get? Editor's Note: See an attorney asap.
—Guest Kennedy

Should I Still Date Him?

I'm 17 turning 18 this fall he's 16 turning 17 this fall. A year apart. We've been dating since april but have known each other going on 2 years and u could say. we were close before dating too and overcome little obstacles. We will be seniors this year and move to college he wants to go to college further away from his dad but I want to go to college that's 15 min away. I think we have diff mind sets I've asked him before but he says after college which could be like another 4-6 years since it's marine biology. I'm sick of "being 17" we are both mature but it sucks especially to see one of my friends get married this fall don't get me wrong im happy for her but I feel like I need something permanent in a relationship otherwise dating is completely useless to me. I want to be married at 19 or 20 and I really love my bf I don't know how to discuss it with him especially if I have this summer and 1 last school year to really be with him before he moves to college. I can't handle LDR. Editor's Note: If you aren't mature enough to be able to handle a LDR, then you really aren't mature enough to get married. I hope you love him enough to encourage him to pursue his educational goals and career aspirations.
—Guest Bre

Confused

I am 21 and my gf is of 18 on next month we both want to get marred but her parents dont want to let that happen. please suggest me what to do... more than 4 year we were together in a relationship. Editor's Note: Much depends on where you live. Some countries allow 18 year olds to marry and others do not. Another consideration is the social traditions of your locale. This article may be helpful. http://marriage.about.com/od/familyconcerns/a/paradisapproval.htm
—Guest vini

The Feels

So im 15 and my gf is 17 shes pregnant with another guys baby that she broke up with some time ago she thought the hole in her heart would never be filled until I came along now she's deeply in love with me as I am with her I know im going to propose to her within a couple of days im just worried about how to tell my parents that shes pregnant and that im going to be proposing to her I really do care for her a lot do you have any advice? Editor's Note: Please don't propose marriage now or consider getting married until you have more life and more education.
—Guest Gage

LDR

My boyfriend and I have been together since our freshman year in high school. The catch is that we met online, and he lives in Colorado, and I live in Georgia. He is 18 now, and I will be 18 in a few months. The long distance is really getting to us, but my parents are making me take an extra year of school. We really just want to be together, and I have all the credits I need to graduate. We haven't really discussed getting engaged yet, because I wanted to run this by somebody before I brought it up with him. However, he's made his intentions clear that he wants to have a future with me and the feeling is mutual. My SATs and ACTs are high enough that I could get a full ride to college. Would it be a horrible idea if I got a GED and moved out of my parent's home and got married once I turned 18? Editor's Note: You will soon be of legal age and can do what you want to do. I am concerned about the fact that you haven't had much time together in the same locale and that you didn't mention how the two of you will pay your bills, how you will handle unhappy parents, etc. I do hope you give this relationship some more time before getting married or leaving school.
—Guest Wednesday

Help

I am 16 and my boyfriend is 19 and we want to get married can we ? Editor's Note: In most states, you have to be at least 18 to get married without having parental or judicial approval. Please wait until you finish high school. Then you can get married if you still want to.
—guestamy

Another Step Forward

Hello, I want to take a step further with my boyfriend and I. We've been dating for 6 years going on 6. We've even considered having children WITH parent approval. but at the moment, we can not hence there is college so we will wait. We do not want to get married because we believe we are maybe a little young, but have considered it in our college years (20's), but i wanted to take a step further, so I considered maybe promise rings. Will this help or is this just a foolish request? Please help! Editor's Note: I'm not sure how a promise ring can help your relationship. You've decided to wait until you finish college. That was a good decision.
—Guest Sandy Pearl

Doubt

hi im 20 years old and my lover is 19 years old what will happen to me if i marry her at this age. we love each other since 3years will there be any legal problems to me??????? Editor's Note: It depends where you live, but generally, at your ages, you are of legal age to get married in most countries. If your country has a higher age limit for marriage, please get legal advice before you get married.
—Guest rahul

What To Do!?

Ok Hi I'm 14 and my boyfriend will be 17 in 4 months and we want to get married. We have been together a year and a half and we love each other a lot! The only thing is I don't know if I can trust him or not because he has cheated 3 times before!!!! What should I do? Editor's Note: Do not marry this guy. Get yourself in a good situation and finish your education. One time cheating is a problem, but three times cheating is a major major red flag. Stop dating cheaters. Be good to yourself.
—Guest callie

Not Yet

Hi. My boyfriend of two years has been asking me lately to get married by the end of the summer. I am 18 years old and so is he. And no, I am not pregnant. The problem is, I don't wanna get married yet, I still want to finish college and have a job. He says we could still get married AND finish college together but he doesn't seem to understand the implications of getting married. His logic is love is enough to make a marriage. Another problem is my parents would never agree to such a thing. I come from a Christian family of strict beliefs. Getting married at 18 is simply not the way it's done. How do I explain all these to him and make him understand? Editor's Note: You are on the right track with your plans. Say it like you've said it here. If he truly loves you, he will wait for you.
—Guest vasht

Depressed

I'm 14 years old. I live in Dubai actually and my boyfriend is 20 years old, and he is local. He wants me to be his wife but his parents didn't allow him to marry me because just from the cultures. What should I do? Editor's Note: Be thankful his parents said no to the marriage. Do what is best for you and try to get as much education as you can before getting married. Take care of yourself.
—Guest korolian

Hello

I am 20 years and my boyfriend is 24. He is coming to marry me but am scared to tell my daddy. What should I do. Editor's Note: At 20 years old, you are an adult and in most countries, do not need your father's permission to marry. You could elope and tell him after the wedding. Or you can not get married. Or you can tell your dad. If you are fearful of him abusing you because of telling him, you need to get professional help at a woman's shelter.
—Guest Ayomide

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