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Readers Respond: Ways to Tell If Your Spouse is a Liar

Responses: 19


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  • How do you know if or when your spouse is lying to you? How can you tell if your spouse lies? What method do you use to learn if your spouse is a liar? Readers respond to these questions.

    How Will I Ever Know??

    My husband, 2 months after marriage 8 years ago, caught him flirting over mxit and sms's. Many excuses and lies. There after almost every 3 - 6 months I caught him out on something. Thought it was going well. A few years back, he many times infront of computer on porn sites etc. I don't like it. Caught again chatting with other women. He again alot of explanations, making him the innocent one. Well, again I worked through it, believed he will stop, even once moved out. Now I caught him again on facebook pages, checking out porn and photos of naked women. We had a talk, I thought I was nice, spoke to him very calmly, explaining how it makes me feel. Asked why would he do it? He asks me, what do I want him to say. I said, the truth please. Then he said I gave my speach, now he will talk. Well, again, like all the previous times, he does not say sorry doing something that's hurting me. i am the one who is wrong. Always holding past over him...WTF?
    —Guest Questionmark

    Catching the Lies

    I have been a cheater, and also been cheated on. but have learnt from my mistakes, and become as honest as i can be, my current partner whom i have grown deeply in love with, has changed ten fold. constant lies, emotional changes, sex deprivision etc... ive done everything i can to try and flare up the relationship more, tried to talk, i always make time for her no matter what. but feel like she loves me, but will seem happier with someone else. she invited me here to perth from sydney, with the promise her ex husband was out of her life for good. then kicks me out on a regular basis, so he can come back for his holiday to spend time with the kids. she says nothing is going on between them, and that she only does it that way so he dont sell the house. just the other week, i found out that after 3years, she still tells him she doesnt have a partner. spends all her time hideing her cell phone, and contradicts me when i question her. eg, im the bad guy because i get angry for what she doe
    —Guest Sam


    Caught my husband for the Nth time cheating, lying, gaslighting and playing the blame game. I'm done. I need out once and for all! Trust me, a tiger doesn't change their stripes. Once a lying cheat, always a lying cheat.
    —Guest razedinaz

    Ways To Tell If Your Spouse Is a Liar

    My husband has slowly turned into a constant liar, it is ruining our marriage. But he insists I've turned into a b***. I kept quiet for a very long time. You learn more by listening, when you hear a story and its different each time you know its bs. Friends have told on him without even realizing. The biggest thing is my gut reaction, I've heard people laugh at that, but I know for a fact. He sent a text, I was waiting for him, for two hours and soon as I read his text, I knew lie. Kept quiet, within two days he told on himself. The saddest part, I put up with it for years, I didn't accuse him, I didn't want to hurt him???!!! I'm over that eyes wide open moving on. No matter how much you love someone, you can only take so much hurt, I can't live with a man I cannot trust.
    —Guest Guest Ariel

    Constant Liar

    I've been with my husband now for 11yrs and I have been through so much pain .. the lying and cheating, I've caught him on so many dating sites, porn sites, also creating relationships from work with different females. If I had the evidence right in his face he would still deny. I've forgave him so many times because I Love him but he doesn't know how to be truthful, I think he needs help but I don't know how .. i keep blaming myself but it's him hurting me and our children .. how to trust I don't know ...

    I'm a Liar

    I have lied multiple time to my wife about Dumb things, over the course of 8 years and when she catches me in the lie. I have acted just like some of the comment you women have said above. But I believe this time is different, She is think about leaving me, and she has full right to. But I have truly looked at myself and realized I didn't take responsibility before. I don't want to repeat this pattern again. So could you give me some advise on how to possible regain her trust? I want to change but, She says she will give me a chance. But is going to put behind her, not to forget it but to forgive me and allow me to rebuild her trust? Would any of you believe me, I see that's is what I have been doing. I know its not going to be easy but I want to change. Editor's Note: It will take time for her to trust you again. This article may help. http://marriage.about.com/cs/trustissues/ht/rebuildtrust.htm
    —Guest JReid

    Heart Breaking

    My husband lies about his business trips, when questioned he loses his cool and when I make accusations he says it's my fault, always my fault. He 'trips himself up' with his lies, it breaks my heart but I've got 5 kids and not enough evidence! The really sad bit is that I love him with all my heart, always have and always will.
    —Guest Annie

    Liar Liar Pants on Fire

    I married the Biggest liar or all time cheats, Drinks and is 100% narcist. Didnt see any of this till 3 years ago married 15. Now everyday I just want to end it all and move on with my life. i hate this man with all his stupid lies. hes had many chances to come clean once and for all and each time he chickens out! At this point the lies make me angrier than the truth!
    —Guest believer of all lies..aka Doormat

    Deer In the Headlights Look

    My wife gets the classic deer in the headlights look. She thinks she's getting away with something. Hee hee!
    —Guest mrbill78

    How to Tell a Lie

    Your gut tells you the truth, believe in it. You just know a lie when you hear one. Do your research, google how to tell when someone is lying, you will see what guidelines the police use. SPY! Nothing to me felt worse than not knowing the truth. Wanting to believe I was worth the truth.

    All the Above and More ...

    Hubby's done all of the above. He accuses me of being jealous if I ask questions about anything or anyone. It's like I am to believe him even when it's obvious he is lying. Once a woman in a bar talked about the great times they spent together and sorry she didn't write; to please get a cell phone, everyone has one. He ignored her. So I said he acts that way sometimes and she verbally attack me about interfering with her and her friends conversation. I said I was just trying to help her out because she seemed concerned that he was not talking to her. She ask what concern it was of mine and I said I was not sure but I should know how he acts because we had been married 20+ years. She put her fist in her mouth and ran out of the business. He says he didn't know her and she was drunk. Then there's the woman he held hands with at a play. By evenings end she was rubbing his crotch. In front of everyone. He said she was drunk & he did nothing wrong. It's getting old & so am I.
    —Guest bonnie

    Going Quiet

    My x partner would go guiet when confronted, and within minutes do the clear of the throat and the hmmm business and then he would make the retreat to the bathroom - cowards! lol.
    —Guest annnie


    ...there are so many ways to tell. Mine has done all those things, and more. And most of the time, it's over stupid stuff I would not get mad about to begin with.

    Belly Button Test...

    Experts say that a man or woman will turn their lower body away from you when they're lying. Make sure he/she is facing you head-on (no sitting) when you question them. Works everytime.
    —Guest pookie

    Staring At You Without Blinking

    Most people say that eye contact, being able to maintain it that is, is an indication of honesty. I have experience with individuals who maintain a fixed stare, (it feels like they are glaring at you in a direct challenge) when they are telling lies. Something to consider. Usually the face is rigid and unkind. Hope that helps. :)
    —Guest Jane

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