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Readers Respond: Ways to Tell If Your Spouse is a Liar

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  • How do you know if or when your spouse is lying to you? How can you tell if your spouse lies? What method do you use to learn if your spouse is a liar? Share Your Suggestions

    Lying By Omission, Hidden Truths

    I have been married 30 years and like some people, I did'nt expect the "hidden truths" of the lies "by omission" clause. I can literally mindread my husband's little white lies, all wives get to a point where the little "what?" equates to "am I busted? I have found out along the way about all of the bills, tickets, credit cards in your "wife" name, that did'nt get paid because he was pissed at the time, "was'nt his credit, ain't comin' back to haunt me..."things" he says that he had said/or did'nt say to family members that got back to me years later, refusing to "include" me in making financial decisions, "forgetting" to tell me who his financial trustee, (not me), would be if anything happened to him, or even what his burial wishes would be. I once asked to "separate", I said I am not leaving my children, he said "I am not leaving MY HOUSE". Nuff said.....
    —Guest WhoDat?

    Ways to Tell If Your Spouse is a Liar

    After 40 years - everything is a lie. I did not, could not believe it at first and for years. Men, real men, just didn't do that - lie. At least my father did not, though certainly not perfect, he insisted on truth from himself and us. I have been emotionally and spiritually murdered, but he does not comprehend the pain at all - not even slightly. My only advice to any one is - GET OUT QUICKLY. Nothing will change. The pain will not stop. If he lies once, he will lie a million times. The google eyed, what are you talking about - I'm an innocent little boy, only gets worse when they get old. But, change - NEVER.
    —Guest old guest

    She Lies Like It Is the Truth

    When someone is so suspicious of you 9 out of 10 times its because they know what they are capable of. If you are being accused all the time by your spouse she is cheating. When someone gets real defensive its because they feel bad about what they did. The girl I am with now cheats and in her mind it is my fault.Hence the word C... Can't understand normal thinking.
    —Guest dan sullivan

    Questtions

    my gf and i have been having problems recently. guys calling her phone at all hours. her saying she is not sure why but will never answer them when im around. yesterday she goes "shopping" with one of her girlfriends for 7 hours. doesnt answer one of my texts ever when she is out without me. doingn laundry today i find her dirty underwear with substance i know wasnt mine inside. she says it is mine from 24 hours prior. after she slept and took a shower. and put on brand new undies. i have asked everyone i know what to think. please help
    —Guest joe1984

    He's a Beautiful Liar

    I love my hubby but he lies even about the smallest things, yet the truth always comes out. Every time I feel he is lying about something, I stay calm I believe him fully. Then I just keep my eyes open for the truth to come to light. It always does. And when I have evidence I lay it all on the table and prove him wrong before he even denies it. He first gets mad, then acts as a victim, then says he would never do that, and when he feels totally cornered he gives up and admits to his wrong doing. He says he's scared the truth will hurt me. When in reality the lie hurts way more. The truth is if it wasn't for proof I would believe him cause he's a good liar. Kinda scary. - gliz119
    —gliz119

    You Always Know

    I think my partner cheats and is always hiding something your gut tells you phone calls she won't answer won't even check the voicemail if I'm sitting there that's proof for me because she knows who's calling right?
    —Guest Beaten

    Wow These Responses Are Overwhelming

    I want to believe he doesn't lie to me, but when he gets extremely defensive, it really makes me leery. I have dealt with white lies before, how big do they get? I can't relate with some of the other signs because he is very good at it and I just feel left in the dark wanting to believe it's all true. He is just defensive due to accusations.
    —Guest Inthedark

    Shouts

    Mine shouts and threatens to leave the house each time I ask questions. He refuses to answer any question I ask even with glaring evidence.
    —Guest MA

    Do Follow up

    Theres usually a paper trail everywhere in todays world Do your homework... Its there-- just needs to be found..
    —Guest Dave

    Busy Body

    He starts to do too much moving, asking unnecessary questioons and he rubs his head a lot. I want our marriage to be over. I don't have time for sorry or the lies!!!!
    —Guest PINK LOVE

    Eyes Wide Open.

    I feel like I live with and am married to a complete stranger.We have been together 16 years and ten months we have been married 15 years and 1 month. twice he has cheated on me in those years and I have cheated on him once. I get that gut gut GUT feeling and its like I have no control over myself until a logical exploitation is found...well I am not allowed to ever even insinuate that he has told a lie. He used to tell me I could do NO wrong, well if that was ever the truth he would not find so much fault in most of what I do and say now. If I have questions he will usually get extremely defensive and give me ever possible way that it couldn't be what I believe it to be. the best way to discribe it is that I feel like I get all the bad from us and someone else is getting ALL of the good stuff. He says I love you I wanna grow old with you...But then the way he acts like he is hiding stuff from me. I feel like whatever this is it must be so bad that he will never admit it or he loves so
    —Guest T Boned

    Lying Tells

    My ex was a classic "eyes just started flitting back and forth" type of a liar. So funny now that I asked her calmly where she was going one Sat nite and watched her eyes in the mirror as she was getting ready to go out as she blurted out "to the show with some other moms." I said "which one?" She reacted angrily "I don't know yet". LOL Who decides to go tot he show and doesn't know which one? I borrowed a friend's car and followed her that night and was divorced 20 days later. Cheating tramp. Now for the question - she frequently now makes statements like "was really busy today" or didn't see your text" The thing is they always lack the "I" pronoun. I think this is a sign of lying too. What do you all think? Editor's Note: When I text, I tend to leave out the "I" in a sentence because of character limits. Doesn't mean I'm telling a lie!
    —ohwell65

    Search For Evidence

    A lying spouse is my enemy ..... not my friend. I search for everything I can find to nail him. Like threaded papers he forgot to dispose ..... putting them bit by bit together. I never stop questioning and cross questioning ..... then the contradictions step in .... bam! I use his words against him. But guess what? Even then he maintained the lie. Why? He'd never scar his "character". He knows women never forget. I know he lies when he start
    —Guest Soyini

    Gut/Reality of What They Say

    My husband gets angry, real angry, runs away. Gets in your face. Tries to make it my fault. Or makes me feel sorry for him. He comes in and says see, before anything is even asked or said. Makes excuses for why he is gone so long that don't make any sense. He drinks and tries to hide it from me. When I ask if he has been drinking he looks at me along time and says no! Takes too long to answer. Forms his sentences very slowly like he is trying to think of what he is going to say next. I have told him these are all classic signs of lies. I used to do this for a living. How did I miss it though while we were dating? I had some suspicions but I think I was so in love and I still am, but I don't trust him anymore. I want that trust back. But he has to earn it, and he can't see that.
    —inototramal

    Gut Feelings

    I ask him the same question weeks apart get diffent answers. I ask him to explain a certain office workers sayings or interjections he fumbles with the events and how they took place. I ask who he was talking with and the person was not even there. I cry beg plead for the truth and he can not look me in the eye until he can muster his emotions. Any reciept that would clear or nail him to the truth that has the time of day is always missing. He says he is at the office for the rest of the day you go there and he is gone yet comes home late trying to say things changed he had to go to check on a site. Office people say she won't stay out of his office he says she only came in once and it was short and sweet and always just business. Every time you go look for him at a company function he is with her. He leaves you sick to fend for yourself but feels like parting into the wee hours with his co workers. Is given multitude of gift cards for restaurants yet never takes you, he gave them away
    —Guest Karen

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    Ways to Tell If Your Spouse is a Liar

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