Readers Respond: What Reasons Did Your Spouse (or You) Give for Cheating?

What reasons did your spouse give for cheating? Please share how your spouse (or you) answered this question.

High School Sweethearts Then Marriage

Well, been with my husband 20 years, married 6 years out of the 20yrs.. but my husband cheats, but says he loves me, & no other can replace me.. He won't leave me!! If I left him now, I could win everything!!!! But I do love him, so what do I do?!

—Guest mrs. can't take it

Lonely

Been married for 25 years, never thought of cheating or starting another relationship, was looking for a friend to share same likes. My wife has been sick for years, and I have become a caregiver and roommate instead of husband. She has been a good wife but is declining and given up on her appearance and desire to do nearly anything outside the house. I know the disease has been rough on her but it has left me empty inside. Then I found her, this bright shining light who makes me happy, we developed an emotional and physical relationship quickly, but now I am conflicted, how do I handle this situation keep caring for my wife and build a relationship with my new woman.

—Guest Confused1963

Low Self Esteem

The computer is an expressway to adultery and betrayal. My husband was chatting and txtin other girls and I saw this ... even saying they would meet. Swears he never cheated tho ..... OK sure! Can't look at him the same .... and now he accuses me of cheating. AS IF!

—Guest bree

He Loves Both of Us

I'm in a relationship with a married man. I'm single. We loved each other 20 years ago and still love each other. He loves both of us and that works for me. I know that I certainly have enough love in my heart to love more than one person.

—Guest Jasmine

I Was Humiliated on Facebook

A random guy posted a pic of himself and my partner kissing intimately on facebook. My partner was tagged in the pic so all my family and friends seen the pic lol.. Our kids pointed out there's mommy with AJ her bf.. my heart just sunk into my chest i still feel it breaking right now. It took just two weeks after I left the country for my partner to cheat on me. At first it was thats not me in that picture its my sister.. and then it was we just flirted and then we just kissed. I nearly lost my family due to this betrayal.. now I can't trust her.. I love her but I cannot trust her.. feelings of killing myself spring to mind from time to time.. just want the pain to go away as well as making her suffer.. but my kids are all that's keeping me going. Editor's note: It is very important that you talk to someone immediately and let them know you are feeling this way - someone who can talk to you right now. If you see a psychiatrist or a counselor, he or she is the person to call. A family member or friend is also a good choice. If these options are not available to you, please call a suicide crisis hotline. In the United States, you can call 1-800-784-2433 or 1-800-273-8255. Here is a web site that lists other hotline numbers in the U.S. and around the world: http://hopeline.com/ries.asp I am so sorry you are hurting right now. It is so difficult for those of us who are reading your post to know how to help you. We can't see you or talk to you; we can only let you know that you are not alone, and that there are people in your life and available on hotlines who care about you and who can help you to work through this. Please reach out to them.

—Guest Allan

Oops

It was just once.. oops, I mean it didn't last very long, oh, I meant it just got out of hand.. oh the others? Um... I needed attention and you didn't give it... Oh your friend's naked pictures in my phone and on my computer? Um..... She sent them and I forgot to delete them, Oh my naked pictures I emailed to her? Um..... I was drunk....(all three nights they were sent last month) Just to let you know ALL these excuses came the same night. I found out about all five women the same day thanks to a stranger.. THEN I checked my husband's phone and email... After the shock and hurt, I did forgive him after a bit (only to help myself), but our marriage was beyond repair.

—Guest Becky

Mel

I cheated because he cheated on me! I think the issue was trust. Will I ever trust him again?

—Guest mel g

Reason for Cheating

We're just friends. I didn't think it through. For nine months she didn't think it through.....wow.

—Guest Leroy

Depression

My wife cheated on me with my best friend while I was there watching movies and his wife was sleeping. Her excuse was she doesn't know why it happened because she is suffering from depression and is emotionaly unstable. I asked both of them what was going on and they said I am paranoid. She did tell me and he left town. It was too small for the 2 of us. Now I am suffering from bad cheating dreams and I am depressed all the time. Don't know what to do anymore. The only reason we are still living together is for my son and I will never leave him. He is my everything.

—Guest steven

You Weren't There For Me

My husband said I wasn't there for him while he was going through depression and that I was distant and unaffectionate. Well firstly, I never knew anything was wrong with him and secondly, how can I show affection towards somebody who gets irritated when I ask for a bit of help around the house, etc? In stead of talking to me, he went and spoke to an old schoolfriend on Facebook and that's how it started.

—HurtFromSouthampton

Too Much to Drink

My wife of 20 years, my friend. I was out of town they took the kids to the fair. had drinks a lot. They say they don't know what how they got to it. Keep a secret for 1 1/2 years. I think I'm the most screwed up.

—Guest Rick

His Fault

I cheated and I enjoyed every part of it. I make a mistake, and I married the wrong man, but he won't leave me. My husband is aware of the cheating and I told him everything about it and he is still with me. He will not talk to me about it at all. All he does is complain to me about me. He is mentally ill, he's had this problem way before I cheated on him. In my heart I love the person I cheated with (Sam). He is my soul mate but he too has a family. If I had another chance to be with him I would.

—Guest Ann

The Communication Wasn't There

He claims that he strayed because "we couldn't talk," "we argue to much" and "we didn't see eye to eye." What ever his so called reason was, it doesn't justify the cheating. Cheating is cheating in my book. And he made that decision when he put himself in that predicament.

—Guest Bebe

Cheating

He said he is cheating because he is not getting any satisfaction in this relationship so he decided to go and have it somewhere but I must not blame him for doing that because he still loves me

—Guest modi

It Wasn't You

We've been together for 6 years. Every time he cheated he said it wasn't my fault. But I know it's something else. Still no trust.

—Guest shannie