If you think you owe your spouse an apology, you need to apologize right away. If you postpone making an apology because you are waiting for the perfect moment or the right words, you will end up hurting your marriage.

Gary Chapman: "Your relationships will never reach their potential until you learn to apologize."
Source: Gary Chapman, Jennifer Thomas. The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships. Northfield Publishing. 2006. pg. 125.

Hopefully, you want to apologize to your spouse because you want to help ease and eventually end the hurt and pain you caused, because you love your spouse, and because you want to do what you can to insure that your marriage is on solid ground.

Your spouse doesn't need perfection from you. What is needed is being sincere and genuine and keeping your promises.

We think it is important that you make time before the holidays to reevaluate your holiday traditions. Just because you always put twinkling lights outside doesn't mean you have to do it every year.

As your lives and circumstances change, your traditions and rituals need to be part of that changing process. We'll be having that talk ourselves in a few days.

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If you were/are the victim of infidelity, we have a favor to ask of you. No one will share the exact same feelings of hurt, betrayal, anger, confusion, and fear that you experienced when you learned that your spouse cheated on you. However, telling your story of how you coped may help others deal with their own pain and sense of loss when faced with the trauma of unfaithfulness.

Whether your marriage survived or not, your road to healing can let others know there is hope for better tomorrows after the heartache of infidelity. Please share how you coped with infidelity in your marriage.

Being able to forgive keeps both your marriage and yourself healthy. Yet for many people, admitting to making mistakes and forgiving others is difficult.

One reason you may have difficulty forgiving is your pride or because you are still too angry. Or you don't want to be seen as weak. Perhaps you want your spouse to suffer. Additionally, forgiveness can be hard if you think that your mate is not having to pay any consequences for the hurtful behavior.

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