Do you want to impress your spouse? Then move out of your comfort zone when you plan a surprise for your spouse.

A surprise can backfire on you if you don't take care of all the planning details or make sure that what you are surprising your spouse with is something your mate really wants. When giving a gift, don't make the mistake Bob made on our first Christmas together. He gave me a sewing machine even though he knew I didn't like to sew.

The whole idea of a wonderful, pleasant surprise is to do or give something unexpectedly. If you've never given gifts on the Twelve Days of Christmas, that would be a fun surprise after Christmas.

Do you jump to conclusions when your spouse is talking with you? Are you more involved with watching the television or playing a computer game than really listening and maintaining eye contact during a conversation with your mate?

If so, these suggestions on how to improve your communication skills may help the two of you connect with one another.

Tonight was the night we decided to decorate the Christmas trees -- the main tree in our living room and a tiny tree in our bedroom. Bob was a bit bewildered as I started sniffling and getting teary-eyed as I pulled ornaments out of the boxes.

Two things hit me as we decorated the tree this evening. One was that I missed our kids. We always decorated our Christmas tree with our kids and so many of the ornaments reflect happy memories with our children. We've been a well adjusted empty nest couple for ten years, but there are moments that I miss them a lot. Tonight was one of those moments.

The other reason I got teary-eyed was my awareness of how many of the Bride's Tree ornaments we've collected through the years. I especially like a little bird feeder ornament and a tiny bell ornament. Both make me smile when I see them even if I am a bit teary-eyed at the same time!

Do you have any ornaments or holiday traditions that are special to you?

While we were researching the 66-year marriage of Evelyn and Oral Roberts, one quote said a lot about their long term marriage.

Evelyn: "There are two things he [Oral] can do and one of them is preach. And the other one is he knows how to love me. Thank the Lord he does because there are very few other things he knows how to do."
Source: David Edwin Harrell, Jr. Oral Roberts: an American Life. 1985. pg. 351.

Oral also mentioned things that Evelyn did that gives the impression that she knew how to love him, too. It appears that the couple had a sense of humor too.

Knowing how to love one another is so very vital in a marriage. Do you know how to love your spouse?