The Christmas theme for the White House is "Reflect, Rejoice and Renew."

When we first read the press release from the White House, we thought that's a theme that could be good for married couples, too. Look at your schedule this month and save three blocks of time just for the two of you.

• Reflect on your life together. You could start a journal that you use each year for this reflection which you write together or you could write love letters to each other.
• Rejoice in your love for one another. Spend the time doing something you both enjoy doing that you haven't had the time to do lately. Remember to keep this celebration simple.
• Renew your commitment to each other and make plans together for next year. We're not talking New Year's resolutions but making a few goals for next year. It could also be a good time to have your annual financial talk.

It is both with sadness and frustration that we added the marriage of Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren to our list of marriage scandals.

Although in his public apology to his family Tiger wrote "Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn't have to mean public confessions ...", the reality is Tiger made his fortune off his super celebrity status and he is or was a role model for many individuals. It definitely is harder for couples to work through their marriage problems in the midst of "tabloid scrutiny" but it can be done.

It is rather ironic that couples like Mayumi and Richard Heene and Tareq and Michaele Salahi will go to great lengths to achieve fame, while Tiger and Elin realize one of the difficult consequences of living their lives in the spotlight.

Extended families (aka in-laws) can gather together and have a good time!

Our Thanksgiving holiday involved staying for three days at a very large house on a small, quiet, rural island with three dogs, four children under the age of five (4 1/2, 2, 1, and 5 months), three young couples, one family friend, and three sets of grandparents that included one pair of exes, members of all political persuasions, vegetarians and meat eaters -- and there was no squabbling, no heated discussions, and no family drama.

We did experience great and timely communication and too much good food. Everyone brought what they liked to drink and a pie. Folks were assigned a meal to be responsible for or foods to bring.

We all talked with each other -- about future dreams and plans, past and future vacations, staying healthy, remodeling, books, movies, kids, memories, cooking, dogs, cats, and shared pictures on laptops. We did not discuss politics or religion.

Television viewing was limited and consisted of old movies, cartoons, and Wii fitness games. Cell phone signal was non-existent. Folks were free to read, walk, work jigsaw puzzles, play with grandkids, talk, nap, go exploring, do some shopping, take a drive around the island, check email -- whatever they wanted.

Thanks Nola for your wonderful planning. And thanks to everyone there for help in making the time together a relaxing and wonderful gathering.

Check out this Advent calendar that can help enhance your relationship while you enjoy the holidays this year. It is a countdown to Christmas with a new link for couples each day. Be sure to check back every day to see what is behind the next date.

We also recommend that you not put off thinking about and shopping for a gift. for your spouse. Also consider celebrating the The 12 Days of Christmas for Lovers this year! It is an inexpensive way to have fun and show your love.