Sunday March 9, 2014
When I first read an article by Karl Taro Greenfeld about zombie marriages I thought it might have something to do with Halloween or The Walking Dead.
But that is not the case.
In the August 2008 issue of DETAILS magazine, Greenfeld described zombie marriage and wrote that being in a zombie marriage could help your marriage become stronger down the road.
Greenfeld wrote that you have to survive the zombie phase and not end up killing your marriage or suffocating it with a bunch of relationship fixes by recommending that you just leave a zombie marriage alone.
Karl Taro Greenfeld: "... the Zombie Marriage is just a phase and quite possibly a crucial one. For a lifelong relationship to survive its most challenging period, it must enter an unconscious, protective state, so that no matter how many stakes are driven through its heart it will continue to stumble forward ... Because the Zombie Marriage, just like those B-movie ghouls who can be restored to mortality with a few drops of a serum or potion, can be revived."
My term for a zombie marriage is disillusionment. I think that disillusionment is normal and is part of the cycle of romance, disillusionment and joy that most married couples experience.
However, we don't think a zombie marriage should just be left alone. Doing nothing is not a good option when you are in disillusionment. You need to have The Talk with one another about your issues and problems.
Poll: Do you think settling in marriage is wrong?
Vote! -- Poll Results
Full Article by Karl Taro Greenfeld:
Your Marriage Isn't Dead -- It's Comatose
More to Read:
Articles on Disillusionment
Get Your Marriage Out of a Rut
Tips for When You Have to Talk
Friday March 7, 2014
Where many of you live, you are not supposed to have snow this time of year and yet storms with snow continue to arrive. Enough!!
If you have the winter blues or blahs, consider these three simple tips:
More to Read:
Reasons Your Marriage Could Use a Spring Cleaning
Photo: Bob Stritof
Tuesday March 4, 2014
Two of the things we like best about Lent is that it is a traditional time to make pretzels
Additionally, for some, the Lenten season is a perfect time to make personal changes, talk about traditions, and create meaningful rituals.
Having a time of reflection and reconciliation is important to every relationship. Everyone needs some alone time of growth in self-knowledge. You can use this season of waiting and change to assess your personal life and to reach out to your spouse.
Thursday February 27, 2014
Is money a problem in your marriage? If it is and if you are having more and more arguments about your finances
, your marriage, along with your finances, is in trouble.
Some of the consequences of arguing about money could include:
- Your financial situation worsens due to not being able to make financial decisions.
- One spouse feels burdened by feeling all the responsibility for the family finances.
- One spouse feels left out of the decision making process when it comes to decisions on how to spend or save money.
- Important financial questions such as where important documents are kept, status of bill paying and savings accounts, and your budget may never be discussed.
- The marriage could suffer from lies, snooping, broken promises, lack of trust, fear, anger, disappointment, feeling betrayed and even stealing from one another.
"Twenty percent of American women surveyed admitted to taking money from their significant other's wallet without their knowledge."
Source: "She Makes How Much More Than Me?!" CNBC.com. 1/28/2010.
Don't ignore red flags in your marriage. If you want to stop fighting about finances, the first thing you need to do is to get your heads out of the sand and admit there's a problem. Make sure you talk with each other about your monetary concerns and issues.