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Slowing Down

Running on Empty

Although slowing down or recharging is usually thought of as an individual need, couples need to unplug and recharge, too. Make sure your marriage doesn't run on empty.

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Marriage Spotlight10

Do You Believe in Soul Mates?

Wednesday April 16, 2014
Comments about individuals believing they are marrying their soul mates are often mentioned in press releases and stories about long lasting marriages. Soul mate movie themes are popular, too.

We heard engaged couples on Engaged Encounter Weekends talking about how they found their soul mates. Advertisements for match making services try to sell the idea that you can find your soul mate by taking their tests.

If you believe in the idea of only one soul mate for each person, you may assume that a partnership of two soul mates should be able to handle challenging times easily. That may not always be the case.

Douglas LaBier, Ph.D., describes a soul mate as an "idealized lover", an "unattainable ideal", and a "flawed pursuit". But he also believes that by having a mature love relationship with openness, letting go of control, and making time for each other, you can have a soul mate experience with your spouse.

"I think there's a way to grow and develop the soul mate experience with your partner. It's attainable in reality, but only when it's part of mature adult love. That is, it emerges from a sustainable adult relationship -- a blend of erotic desire, friendship, and respect and support of each other's growth and development as independent, different human beings."
Source: Douglas LaBier, Ph.D. "Your Soul Mate Fantasy: How to Make It A Reality." PsychologyToday.com. 4/19/2010.

     Do you think you married your soul mate? Vote! ~ View Results

Passover Tips for Jewish-Christian Couples

Monday April 14, 2014
During the celebration of major religious celebrations such as Passover and Easter, interfaith couples may find themselves wondering how to be supportive of differing faith traditions.

Here are some tips for interfaith marriages dealing with the issue of different spring holiday celebrations.

     Passover Seder Meal Menus
     Preparing for Passover
     Interfaith Marriage Dos and Don'ts

Mad Men and Marriage

Friday April 11, 2014
Mad Men, the popular television series on AMC, began its seventh and fnal season on Sunday, April 13, 2014. I will admit to enjoying the series. Did you know there are at least four things you can learn about marriage by watching Mad Men?

Jon Hamm of Mad Men

I haven't noticed any particularly really happily married couples on the show. There are some deeply dysfunctional and toxic relationships portrayed, yet the show can remind youl to not allow your marriage to fall in a rut or to give your career a higher priority.

You May Also Like:
     Mad Men Cheat Sheet: What You Need to Know for Season Seven
     Syllabus -- Mad Men: Gender & Historiography
     Mad Men Official Web Site

Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

The Smirk

Thursday April 10, 2014
Every now and then I can get into a bad mood for no special reason. Sort of a "just because" mood. The last time it was probably due to lack of spring here and a windy, cold, rainy day. Then I saw Bob smirk.

The Smirk

I don't like seeing a smirk on a politician's face, or on a salesperson's face, or on an appliance repair person's face, or really on anyone's face. But I really really didn't like seeing a smirk on Bob' face.

To me, a smirk is a negative expression that is a not-so-subtle way of being arrogant, smug, sarcastic, or dismissive. You can avoid miscommunication in your marriage by not expecting your spouse to be a mind reader.

Share what you're thinking! And don't smirk!

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