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Sheri & Bob Stritof

Can You Die of a Broken Heart?

By July 29, 2012

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Every now and then we read a notice in the newspaper about an elderly widow or widower dying shortly after the death of their long-time spouse. Relatives often believe that their grieving parent or grandparent died of a broken heart.

Is this really possible? Can people die of a broken heart? According to Dr. Holly S. Andersen, "The answer is yes. A traumatic breakup, an extreme argument or experiencing the death of a loved one can elicit the release of stress hormones that can trigger a heart attack in people prone to them, induce a life-threatening arrhythmia or cause a syndrome that mimics a heart attack in otherwise healthy hearts."

"Besides experiencing the strain of stress, of emotional overload, and of not taking care of oneself properly, it is also possible for grievers to be at higher risk for health problems. Various studies have shown that surviving spouses may have increased odds of suffering heart disease, cancer, depression, alcoholism, and suicide, says Dan Leviton ... He notes, though, that not everyone has higher risk for disease because they may cope well with loss."
Source: Dulce Zamora. "Death from a Broken Heart." Medicinenet.com. 11/24/2003.
Shauna Springer: "One hallmark of couples who have passed into the 'soul mate' phase of their marriage is that they continually bless and inspire others through the way they treat each other and those around them. Another hallmark is the 'widower' effect - when two people become one, it is often the case that the death of one is closely followed by the death of the other. This isn't merely romantic nonsense propagated by Hollywood movie-makers - this actually happens with notable frequency for closely-bonded pairs."
Source: Shauna Springer, Ph.D. "Soul Mates Do Exist - Just not in the way we usually think..." PsychologyToday.com. 7/28/2012.

Learn More: How Does Bereavement Increase Cardiac Risk?
How to Get Through the Loss of Your Loved One

If you are coping with the death of your spouse, one of the most important things to remember is that you must take care of yourself, both emotionally and physically. That means getting regular sleep, consuming a healthy diet, drinking enough water, exercising, and having some fun and laughter in your life. It also means know the symptoms of a heart attack and not waiting to call 911 in an emergency.

Additional advice from Vice President Joe Biden: "Just remember two things," he said. "Keep thinking what your husband or wife would want you to do. Keep thinking what it is, and keep remembering those kids of yours, or him or her the rest of their life, blood of my blood, bone of my bone, because, folks, it can and will get better," he said. "There will come a day, I promise you, and your parents, as well, when the thought of your son or daughter or your husband or wife brings a smile to your lips before it brings a tear to your eye," he said. "It will happen. My prayer for you is that day will come sooner or later. But the only thing I have more experience than you in is this: I'm telling you it will come."
Source: Devin Dwyer. "Joe Biden Reflects on Immense Grief After Loss of Wife, Daughter." ABCNews.go.com. 5/25/2012.
Note: Vice President Joe Biden lost his wife and daughter in an automobile accident in 1972. Five years later he married Jill Jacobs.

To all of you who have lost a loved one, those who posted your stories of heartache here and those of you who grieve privately, please know our hearts are with you.

Comments
September 5, 2009 at 1:42 pm
(1) Suzy says:

Note to all: Very long message, good luck if you make it to the end!)

I have seen a few couples die a year or less, after suffering the blow of the death of a spouce, parent,
brother, son, etc. It all affects us differently. Although many people would agree death of a spouse is the most stressful, but that’s not at all true! The most stressful, and hardest to come to grips of is death of a child. That’s so incomprehensible! My mother died in 1987. Her mother my maternal grandmother who witnessed her own daughter being buried, died 6 months later. I really think it was b/c she was suffering from a ‘broken heart.’ Also my
paternal Grandafather and Grandmother had the luck of very old age. They both lived to be 92 and 93, respectively. My Grandfather had to hospitalized with a bout of pneumonia. It went from bad to worse and b/c he was so old, he just couldn’t breathe on his own anymore. So we let him go as he had requested in his living will or will whatever it is.
My Nana just so happened to be in the nursing home they were at together (until my Grandpa got transferred to the medical dept., as his health was ailing). My nana took the news a lot better than I thought she would. It’s almost like she knew he died
before I even told her! I know that sounds crazy, even insane but it didn’t matter b/c my Nana died 3 months later. When my father passed away I felt like
I was going to die also. I felt that way also, when my mother died, 22 years ago. The feeling, did eventually go away; just to emerge 20 years later! I
lost my father to brain cancer in July, 2007. It wasn’t a pleasant experience and as a result of my dad’s death is that I developed a rare, neurological
disorder known as Hypersomnia. It’s the opposite of insomnia, where you can’t sleep. The effects of Hypersomnia are sleeping excessively, and never ever feeling rested. Also, sometimes after all that sleep, you may feel wide awake, and consciously pull and ‘all-nighter,’ not ever feeling tired until the following day, when you’ve been up for say 36 hours straight! Then go to bed, and the cycle just keeps repeating itself. This disorder all has to do with grief and a broken heart. Thank you! ~ Suzy

September 11, 2009 at 5:45 pm
(2) Rene says:

Yes, this is absolutely true. My mom passes away suddenly. My oldest brother passed away 6 months later with a massive heart attack. Then my dad, passed away 5 months after my brother. My parents were married 53 years.

September 24, 2009 at 6:35 am
(3) Emily says:

Being with a broken heart is worse than death!

November 4, 2009 at 10:29 pm
(4) Bernadette says:

Yes. I don’t want to live in this pain any longer. It’s been 5 months since my husband of 43 years died. I miss him and just want to be with him. Living this pain is simply unbearable. I just want to die

November 4, 2009 at 10:55 pm
(5) Sheri says:

Hi Bernadette,
It is very important that you talk to someone immediately and let them know you are feeling this way – someone who can talk to you right now.

If you see a psychiatrist or a counselor, he or she is the person to call. A family member or friend is also a good choice. If these options are not available to you, please call a suicide crisis hotline.

In the United States, you can call 1-800-784-2433 or 1-800-273-8255.

Here is a web site that lists other hotline numbers in the U.S. and around the world: http://hopeline.com/ries.asp or http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

I am so sorry you are hurting right now. It is so difficult for those of us who are reading your post in this thread to know how to help you. We can’t see you or talk to you; we can only let you know that you are not alone, and that there are people in your life and available on hotlines who care about you and who can help you to work through this.

Please reach out to them.

Sincerely, Sheri

December 28, 2009 at 11:37 am
(6) Grieving Nana says:

I lost my 2 1/2 grandson in a drowning Aug 25 2009. Christmas marked is 4 month anniversary. My life hasnt been the same since and my heart aches for him something aweful, I just want to be with him again and see his sweet smile, and hear his sweet voice.
My heart aches something terrible it is undescribeanle!! Can someone actually die from a broken heart?

January 30, 2010 at 1:26 am
(7) Sammi says:

Wow its actually true..I lost the greatest love of my life.

February 7, 2010 at 7:45 pm
(8) ann says:

i can empathize. i lost by boyfriend of 9 years last december. he was my first boyfriend. i am 26, he was 29. it has been 2 months and 6 days. i miss him…my heart grieves and like now tears just roll and my inside hurt and squeeze…i know god and he would not be pleased if i kill myself, but i keep hope that god will see me suffering and just take me, or the world will end soon and i could join them. i love him dearly.

February 8, 2010 at 12:46 am
(9) Sheri says:

Hi Ann,

Please consider talking to someone immediately and let them know you are feeling this way – someone who can talk to you right now — about your grief and sense of sorrow.

Some hotline numbers in the United States, you can call 1-800-784-2433 or 1-800-273-8255 or on the web at
http://hopeline.com/ries.asp

There truly are no words to lessen your loss. But please know you are not alone.

Please reach out to people who care about you.

Sincerely, Sheri

February 12, 2010 at 7:01 am
(10) Lisa says:

I have a broken heart right now. The man I deeply love told me recently that he loves me but doesn’t want to be married anymore. He also confessed to having an affair last year and I caught him in a continued relationship through email, facebook, and telephone. He uprooted me from our home and my job on the west coast and now we live on the east coast.. This is recent months…like less than four months ago. When we moved here he dropped the bomb. Other than a few family members, I have no friends and no job. I attend college online. I try to go to the gym daily and to the post office and other than that I have no other human interaction. I miss my husband who has made it a point, that after separating two weeks ago, to have minimal contact with me. 13-years of marriage I had no idea anything was wrong. I am lonely beyond comprehension and I cry everyday. Yes, death would be better than experiencing a broken heart. I am depressed, I think about my husband all the time, and sadness seems to consume my day. From time to time I hear from friends from the west coast and family in the south, but no one here not even my husband, checks up on me. I try to call his family members from time to time, but it’s not reciprocated very much. No one local has even come to visit me since my husband moved out. YES, I AM BROKEN HEARTED BEYOND ANY OTHER PAIN I’VE FELT BEFORE. I love my my husband so much and I find it hard to see a future without him by my side. I feel cut off from him and abandoned. I don’t know what else to say, but I do believe that people can literally die of a broken heart.

February 12, 2010 at 10:41 am
(11) Sierre says:

Yea I know exactly how you all feel…I losted my mom on the first day of January. My life is like a dream, my heart aches every day. The pain is even worst when I realize that this my reality. I can’t explain more to how I feel for my lost, but I know that it just hurts.

February 16, 2010 at 6:05 am
(12) J. says:

During the Fall of last year I lost my wife and best friend. She and I were together in some shape or form since we were both 18. I’m in my mid-30′s now. Like every marriage, we had our good times and bad (and some of the bad at times seemed like it would end in divorce), but when she left, our marriage could not have been happier. We were going to celebrate our 9th anniversary the following month.

We were involved in an accident and I had the horrible experience of watching her die in front of me. The shock of it lasted weeks (and its still the last thing I see before going to sleep and the first thing I see when I wake up). I was such a wreck, I could not even stay at the wake. I had pretty bad injuries myself so the true grief did not really come out until I was no longer taking Oxycontin and Percocets; 2 months later (just in time for the holidays). Much like Suzy’s comment, I have my days and nights mixed up and am currently writing this at 530 local time having not slept last night.

Can you die of a broken heart? Yes, I think you can. Most of you know this kind of grief, otherwise you wouldnt have wound up here as I did. But taking your own life is not the answer. Believe me, like most of you, I wanted to die; and still wish I could sometimes, just to be with her, because I know she’s in a better place.

Fortunately, my wife gave me the greatest gift of all to keep me going: our son. He’s 8 now, and a better friend I could not have. He and I planned a trip together for the Summer, and we go out as often as we can. Which brings me to some advice and hopefully words of comfort to those who suffer with a similar loss.

Definitely speak to a professional. They will do you a world of good on your way to healing. Take some time for yourself. Plan a trip. Take a weekend somewhere with friends. Treat yourself, because you deserve it. Take quiet time for yourself to reflect on things, or simply just to cry. I also think it helps to look for the signs that your loved one who has passed is ok. Its not difficult if you pay attention. My first sign from her came just hours after her death. My nurse for the first night in the hospital had the same name as my wife. None of the other nurses knew her, and during my 2 week stay, she never came back. I thought I had lost my mind until my mother and sister confirmed it at Thanksgiving dinner. The signs from her keep coming too. EVERY dream I have of my wife is a good one; usually with her hugging me tight like she used to (despite the horrific pictures in my brain that will not fade). The last dream I had of her hugging me; I woke up hugging my little guy, who had snuck into my bed.

Also, in the midst of lonliness, feelings of abandonment, and your grief, remember the good times spent with your loved one(s) who are now gone. Although there is a physical relationship associated with marriage/family, your loved ones dont use their bodies to actually love you, do they? Why would that love change, even though their Earthly bodies die? Think about it.

Wishing you peace.

February 18, 2010 at 11:49 pm
(13) Christine says:

Lisa, I know the pain you speak of. I believe too it is worse than losing someone in death. There never seems to be closure. I have a suggestion. A great website is Rejoice Ministries, you may find alot of strength from that site. My husband has been gone nearly 3 years now and I am believing for the restoration of our marriage. This is not denial cause it’s been a massive personal journey and I’ve sorted through heaps of stuff. It’s just about faith. Check out the website, you will find encouragement. I was married for 27 years. It’s very painful heh !!

February 20, 2010 at 7:34 pm
(14) Karen says:

To anybody who cares:

I too am suffering from a broken heart. I had to move to a different state for a job because there wasn’t anything in the area where my husband & I lived. After a month of being away from home, I found out my husband was involved with a girl that rented from him. His mom passed away about two years ago and he and his siblings decided to rent their mom’s house out rather than selling it. Well I know the girl because she started renting before I moved to another state, and I was a little hesitate at the time, somehow I knew in my gut, they were infatuated with each other.

Time has gone by and I come home to where our house is on the weekends or every other weekend if I can. It is not the same between us. He is withdrawn from me, and he doesn’t want anything to do with me. I recently had surgery for a stomach issue, and he dropped me off at the hospital, he didn’t even stay for my surgery. God I was heartbroken. I couldn’t believe my husband would do this to me. I was and still am beside myself. We have been married for 21-years, and have been together for 26 – years total.

Can somebody please tell me what happens to people when you think you think you are doing the right thing in order to make a better person out of yourself and trying to support your family and then bam, you get slapped in the face.

I am on the verge of a breakdown, I know because I can no longer control my emotions, or my consuption of alcohol. I have no desire to live anymore. I have no ambition, and no dreams or aspirations since all of this took place.

I thought my husband and I would be together forever. I thought we were soul mates. Now I just think about dying and going somewhere else because being without him, just hurts way too much.

So yes, I truly believe, you can die from a broken heart.

February 21, 2010 at 8:17 pm
(15) Ell says:

Karen, I care. I don’t know you the way people in your life know you, and this internet confession thing is a little sub-human. But the lonlieness is real, the pain is real, and you are not alone. I won’t bore you or any one else with the details, it’s just a broken heart. I know now that I can have all the money in the world, I and I would still be quite broke. When you heart is broke, you can’t put it in anything, there’s no heart in your working, cleaning, dressing or even brushing your hair. Waiting for God to take you, that sounds familiar. I think the Buddhists believe that life is suffering. I am American, I was raised to think that life is about pursuing happiness. I am forty two, my capacity for joy is gone. Reading these entries was painful but you know what, it helped. I really did think I was alone. I know I still am in many ways, and I hate to think anyone else is suffering, but it does help to know that this pain is part of the human experience, it doesn’t mean I’m crazy or even that I need to take a pill or a drink a drink. It’s just part of our experience here, and something has got to come of it, if only to help a stranger get through it across the internet.

February 23, 2010 at 6:55 am
(16) anna says:

i recently lost my husband because of cancer. we’ve been married for 9 years and as of the moment i feel that the pain will never be gone. the sadness is so overwhelming and the only thing that keeps me going right now is by praying. inspite of the pain and heartaches i know and i felt that god has never left my side. i turned to god when everything was taken away from me and i still find the initiative to count my blessings and finally realize the reason for all of these. i wish you all who has been in the same situation as mine to never give up and don’t lose hope, i guarantee you that when all else is lost, god is there to lift us up no matter how painful our burden.

February 25, 2010 at 4:55 pm
(17) rmm says:

I am suffering from a broken heart…and have been for some time now…it just never ends…and each day it exemplifys…some days I can feel my soul floating above me as I lay in bed. People know not what I am going through…I wish I could stop this pain…the more I try, the more it hurts. It isn’t imagined it isn’t untrue. There are no words to describe it and no one asks how I am.

February 26, 2010 at 1:59 pm
(18) BrokenHearted says:

This forum has been helpful, knowing that I am not alone. Too I am thankful for e-mail and the internet, this way I can talk without sniveling or wetting paper.

My husband of passed last Wednesday suddenly. He had an aneurysm while I was away. I found him lifeless in his den and I am having great difficulty. We have been friends since we were 10 so I’ve know him all my life…and now he’s gone. My heart breaks a little every day. I know he wouldn’t want me to be acting and feeling this way but it’s just really hard not to. I have a great group of friends and relatives checking on me but when I’m alone…I’m just in pain.

My doctor prescribed some Lorazepam for my anxiety and if you can avoid it…do. I feel worse today.

Everybody grieves differently and some take longer than others. Just know like I know that God will see you through. But, keep a good outlook, cry when you need to and remember the good things.

I’m sitting her right now holding my husbands urn because it was just delivered and it’s cold..he hated cold things. But as soon as I tucked it under my shirt, it started getting warm and I know he knows that I’m thinking of him.

Do whatever you need to do, to get you through. Suicide is not an option!

Like it was said earlier by J…there will be signs. Just open your eyes and heart and listen. And though I hurt as bad as I do (I wish I could join him…we watched the movie the Notebook and swore we’d go together…didn’t happen that way.) I know he would want me to go on. We had even discussed once who would make it if the other one suddenly died. He was the one love of my life and can never be replaced.

My mom says that God put me in another place so that I could not see him pass and not be able to save him. She says otherwise, she would have had to have two services and it’s not my time.

To all, know that even though you’re suffering (it’s means you loved) that it’s not your time and God has a bigger plan for you. So grieve, do…it’s natural and definitely easier said than done. I’m smiling now because here I sit attempting advice and I’m in a horrible state…typing through tears and huddle with an urn.

Hang in there all of you! While it may never become easier to bear the loss of your loved one…it does get better. Now I’m remembering the grief I felt at my mother’s death 25 years ago. While I still miss her daily, I get nothing but smiles when I think of her.

Stay strong~

February 27, 2010 at 4:53 pm
(19) Ian says:

Lisa, i really feel for you, i have just broken up from a 6 year relationship and i cannot eat or sleep properly, its been a few months now but its not getting any easier, i am so incredibly lonely its unbelievable, she was my world, we did everything together, ive never been lonely before like this and it is awful, my friends seem to have deserted me, probably scared of how i feel and dont know what to say, i do feel like i am dying, its such an awful feeling, it is almost worse than losing someone through a bereavment!

March 1, 2010 at 7:10 am
(20) Jen says:

I too am suffering from a broken heart. My boyfriend recently split up with me after a long relationship. He didn’t even end it face to face it was over the internet and he wasn’t even in the country so I have no ounce of closure. I thought he was the love of my life and we even discussed marriage. I am 24 years old and I feel lost and I feel like I have completely imploded. I have no desires or ambitions anymore. The life has been sucked out of me. We had a very close and intense relationship and I supported him through a family tragedy and I even moved to another country with him in order for him to go to college. It all seems like a wasted effort. I gave so much of myself away to this person and now there is nothing else left of me. I am young but I am a private person and I don’t let many people into my life. How can I ever trust anyone again? The pain is surreal, everyday is the same. I am truly starting to hate the routine of my life. I dont know how to get past the misery. Self- preservation is warring with self-destruction. I believe you can die of a broken heart I have already died from it metaphorically already.

March 5, 2010 at 4:09 pm
(21) Laura says:

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Gods grace will help you to get through. I lost my husband suddenly after 23 years. I loved him deeply. Prayer helps. He is still around me, when I least expect it. The pain is very great… but I know I must go on. Friends from Bereavement Groups tell me time will heal a little. Have faith and courage.

March 7, 2010 at 12:05 am
(22) Christina says:

My grandparents were married 62 years and she passed away March 4, 2010. My grandfather’s heart must have broke when he heard that she was gone because he passed away March 5, 2010. They just couldn’t live without each other. Talk about true love!

March 7, 2010 at 4:07 am
(23) Sheri says:

Christina,
So sorry to hear about your loss, Christina. Thank you for sharing about their great love for one another.

March 7, 2010 at 10:25 pm
(24) Gerald says:

I am a young sixty year old and I live in Ireland and I have a broken heart. My wife Briege died on the 30th January 2010. She was buried on the following Tuesday the 2nd of February which was her birthday. She had a brief three month battle with a rare and very agressive type of colon cancer. She had surgery on the 9th of December and just seemed to go downhill so rapidly.
The surgeon had told me the day of the operation that the news was not good but nevertheless said we should still have her in a year. She came home from the hospital just before Christmas but was very sick and the following week we went to a local hospice where she was stabilised and then we returned home for the last three weeks of her life. She died peacefully in the end after much suffering and deterioration. She was a small lady at the best of times. I cried so much during the last few weeks and actually thought her death would be a relief to see her released from her suffering.. but instead a far worse pain hit me .. Maybe Its self pity I don’t know , but the pain I feel is unbearable. I cant even stand anyone asking me how I am. .

March 9, 2010 at 11:27 pm
(25) Toni says:

The love of my life, my husband of 22 years had a massive heart attack in my living room last Wednesday night.

I was on the phone with ems the 30 minutes it took to reach our rural home. EMS arrived and got him into the ambulance, he was semi-coherent and breathing on his own when they closed the doors. I followed in my car making deals with God. I would give him anything, do anything, if he would only spare his life. After getting to the hospital and filling out paperwork the Dr came out with grim news, he was not responding to anything and there was a fear of brain damage if they did get his heart started.

I was allowed to go into the room while they were still working on him. I called to him begging him not to leave me, holding his face in my hands. I had to make the decision to stop.

Today is the first day after the memorial. My family and friends rallied around. After having someone in the house with me every minute since his death, and having an entire house full yesterday I am alone. I have received several calls to check on me and let me talk and cry while they tell me that everything will get better.

Die of a broken heart? I sure hope so. I don’t think I am suicidal, but I do want to die. I know he would not want me to feel this way, but I want to be with him so much.
I never realized that your heart could hurt so much.

I know I will survive. I know I will go on. I know things will get better. But right now, I pray, I beg for God to take me.

March 10, 2010 at 1:48 am
(26) Carolyn says:

Dear Toni,

I don’t know you, but I am crying for you. I saw that you must have just posted your comment within the last few hours. When a loved one of mine died a few years ago, I found a church group of others grieving like me. I was depressed everyday and wanted to sleep for hours because in my dreams, he was still alive. I don’t know how I got through that year and can barely remember anything other than the pain I had felt. It took a long time for my aching to go away and although I can still look at his picture and cry, the pain lessens with time… lots of time.

Carolyn

March 14, 2010 at 12:47 pm
(27) Vicki says:

I just lost my husband of 31 yrs. I so want to lay down and die and hope I do. I want to be with him. I can’t take this. I had a head trauma and lose my way and he was so supportive for me more than just my best friend he was my soul mate my best friend cause most men would have left me . now I am all alone and scared he died on f
Friday 2 days ago.I miss him so bad it hurts so bad this will not get easier and this memory will not leave as other memories do

March 15, 2010 at 11:12 pm
(28) RFB says:

My comon law wife of 15 years collapsed in the hallway on March 3rd and I spent what seemed like an hour giving her cpr while the 911 operator was coaching me .
It took so long for the ambulance and the police to arrive because we live in the country. I knew she was gone . But I kept trying .
I feel terrible because I failed her . She was 46 . I can’t seem to stop crying . I lost my best freind . I hope that I’ll meet her again when I go . Last night I fell asleep in her favorite chair and had a dream of her standing in front of me holding my hand and smiling at me . At first I felt warm but than the realisation that it was a dream hit me and I started to cry . I went to work today but I lasted 5 minutes and left . I called my supervisor up . Got an answering machine and told him I was going home . I’m 50 years old and I’m lost . I miss Sharon so much .

March 16, 2010 at 2:15 am
(29) tonia says:

I lost my husband in march 10th 2010 we had the funeral on march 12th, and i just want to die, when my husband died i lost my best friend ,my only friend, my soulmate, and my only family next to my son. i lost the only blood family i had in novemeber 2008 and my husband was there to help me through it and took care of me and out son, i took loosing my dad so hard, we both worked 3rd shift and my dad would watch our son at night well me and my husband woke up to get ready for work,and there laid my dad on the floor dead at age 55, 6 days after his b-day well anyways thankgod my husband was there and it hurt like hell and im still hurting from loosing my dad and still cry. then i loose my husband too i dont know how much more i can take. if it wasnt for my son i would end it all, but as all alone as i am and hurting so is he, and he needs me right now, i feel like im dieing of a broken heart and cant function, and i really hope i dont die of a broken heart because im all my son has, we dont have any family or friends, only person i have is my son so i dont even have no one to talk to and i try to put on a happy face because of my son and fight back the tears which im not too successful in doing, but i cant show my son how miserable i am he is only 6 but he is so smart, so i try to act happy when in reality im dieing inside. i just hope my dad and husband know how much i love them. i pray everyday for a sign from my husband and thats whats keeps me going somewhat, but i really hope i dont die from a broken heart

March 17, 2010 at 1:25 pm
(30) JAS says:

I believe that it is possible to die from a broken heart. I never had to deal
With the death of a spouse, but when my girlfriend & I broke up it was the
Worst thing I ever had to deal with in my life. I couldn’t eat, sleep, or wanna even do the things I loved to do.
When I slept all I wanted to do was sleep because I felt I could escape all my problems.
I’ll admit, there were days I just wanted to die, just to see if anyone could manage the pain I was going through.
I gave up my dreams & so much to make her happy. But some people are never happy no matter what.
So in conclusion I think it is possible to die from a broken heart, I almost did.

March 17, 2010 at 6:29 pm
(31) Chris says:

I feel like i could die, I just had my gf leave me for her ex behind my back while she was out of town i gave up everything to move her for her got our place and to be a good father to her daughter and when there was no signs of problems jsut giving me lots of hope and love so much love then in 2 days that changed my whole world. she wont even sit and talk to me i cant even have a chance to defend. I honestly dont know how to bar it I finaly thought i had true love and now thats gone i feel more empty then i have ever felt in my life weirder is the night she was gone and i guess she was with her ex i was laying there and i felt a stab to my chest and my heart was going like 2 3 beats a second… i felt i knew… i dunno what to do… i have nothing right now lost her lost my home..at least with my past breakups i had warnign this i had none quite the oppisate….

March 18, 2010 at 3:02 pm
(32) Jen says:

Dear JAS…

I know exactly how you feel because I can sympathize with you. I am going through some serious heartbreak at the moment and I am honestly struggling to get by day to day. I was just wondering how did you turn things around? How did you manage to crawl out of the misery because I am running out of reasons to keep trying.

Thanks.

-Jen

March 20, 2010 at 11:34 am
(33) MB says:

i feel all these hurts and losses – i think i’ve experienced all of them. the most pain i have ever felt has been the hurt for, over, about and by my children–a daughter, 30; a son, 23. i was a battered wife; we left; at 17, they went back: lots of money, freedom, the lifestyle. the continued rejection by my daughter hurts so much that i have been close to dying many times and still want to die almost every waking second. how do you “get over” your children????

March 23, 2010 at 4:39 am
(34) FerryGirl Bay Blues says:

It’s 339A CST. Like a post written before mine: When I sleep, I sleep to escape. When I’m awake sometimes I cannot sleep. It’s awful. Frank Tallis’s book Love Sick has helped some, and, listening to online ministries at oneplace.com. Laughing helps a lot. Watch a funny movie, remember something hilarious, find a way and a reason to smile. And, if you can find a way to enjoy the pain, and appreciate having loved someone so much. I say this, to my fellow lonely-hearters, who are baying at the moon.

March 28, 2010 at 6:41 am
(35) Lori says:

I lost my husband 7 months ago in a car accident. It is the worst feeling in the world to wake every morning and go to sleep every night by yourself. Everyone says with time the pain becomes less i don’t see that it seems to me it is getting harder with each day that passes. I miss his face every day

March 30, 2010 at 9:08 am
(36) A says:

I have not experienced the death of my spouse but we are now seperated after 16 years….He has been in an emotional affair with someone for 3 months and denies it..saying they are just friends. I am in literal physical pain. How can you just get over someone that you have devoted your whole heart and entire being too?

March 31, 2010 at 11:54 pm
(37) js says:

J. thank you for your comment
“Although there is a physical relationship associated with marriage/family, your loved ones dont use their bodies to actually love you, do they? Why would that love change, even though their Earthly bodies die?”

My husband just died 2 months ago after a 3 year battle with cancer. He was 37. We have two young children. I am strong. I am determined to hold my head up and do the best I can to offer my daughters the happy life they deserves. I will not be a soppy mother. But it’s hard as hell. I miss him so much. He was my soul mate, my best friend, my past, my present, my future, my daughters’ only father. I cared for him so acutely every second of everyday in our home until his death. He slowly lost everything he’d worked so hard for. He suffered inhumanely. He was tortured really. I watched him die. And then poof! Nothing but nothing but nothing. What is there left that is worthwhile? What could I possibly do now? There is no heart to be broken. It’s poof, just a black hole in the middle of my chest, charred. I go through the motions of everyday, because I have a responsibility to do so. I am a good mother, and I am doing a great job laying a bright path for them. But for me, it’s over, no one can say anything that will change the facts. I worked incredibly hard, no one could imagine, so hard to help him, to prevent the inevitable, I feel betrayed, disappointed, angry, overwhelmed, sad. I feel so alone. He was brilliant. He was humble, compassionate, gracious, brave, resilient. He was a doctor, humble, always knew what to do, always had a plan, always proactive, a constant source of strength, guidance, direction. Without him I feel frightened, and I am suffering from a severe loss of confidence. How do I make sure my girls grow into the women they would undoubtedly have under his great influence. I am so afraid to fail them. What a ridiculous twist of fate. Me! Left to raise his daughters! I am angry. But mostly I am sad. Losing your spouse, especially one you loved so unconditionally, so thoroughly, so deeply, is a horrid pain. Watching them suffer physically, emotionally and not be able to change it for them. Watching them take their last breath and then the silence, the emptiness, the darkness, death is so final. It isn’t a sharp pain, it’s more like someone is squishing your chest, all day and all night, it doesn’t let up, just suffocates you, you can’t get enough air. The worst is you have to bear this frightening pain with an ‘i’m-sad-of-course-but-I’m-holding-up-fine,-relatively,-yes-he-is-no-longer-suffering,-yes-I-guess-I-did-prepare-for-it-thank-you face’ for the world around you, for your children, for his parents, his siblings, his friends, and to respect your husband as even he was valiant and strong, proud and resilient even under the hellish circumstances. Being soppy is not an option in my world. Yet I’m being squished by some evil hands. And all I see is his pain, the suffering, the ugliness of this disease and how it killed his dreams.
No there is nothing anyone can say to change the facts.

April 1, 2010 at 3:22 pm
(38) Linda says:

I am sitting here in a daze, I lost my soul mate the love of my life we were married 33years. I was driving the car that caused the accident on the black ice. we were out shopping for suit cases for a trip I was going to take with my sisters.I had to watch and was unabled to do anythingto help or save him. i was hurt badly myself. I spent many weeks in acute rehab. we my sons and I donorated his organs. which i feel great about, but I have a thought now again how will he come back if I gave them away. My heart is not only broken it is shattered. I am type one dieabetic and have been fairly ill most of my life and my babes is the one who always got thought the pain, I have had a few heart attacks and triple by pas that he got throught. That was a walk in the park compared to losing him. I can’t wait til the time comes when we can be together again. The only sad part is i can’t take my own life cause than God won’t let me be with him in the end, i just wish he he would do it for me. i’m so alone, even thought I have a large family, but it is not the same. I lost him January 27 2010. our 33rd wedding ann. was in march I don’t think I can go on or how too. I’m so tired.

April 2, 2010 at 11:37 pm
(39) ferrygirlbayblues says:

Hi, Comment 38. I’m Comment 34. I feel the heaviness in your post. One thing that helped me was I stopped fighting the feelings and allowed myself to feel. I stopped feeling bad about feeling sad and just let it move me. I’d cry and thrash about then remember something we did that was funny together and laugh. Do whatever you have to do to keep his spirit near, talk to him, wear his shirt, tell him you’re sorry, tell him you love him. But whatever you do, please thank God for him, and allow yourself to dream. I hope your health gets better, I know that’s gotta stink. But, what’s great about life is the stinky parts really make us take a deep breath when we go through our periods of fresh air, and believe me fresh air will come. It has to. Also, if you like country music, Willie Nelsonís CD Red Headed Stranger is excellent for times like this. Here are a few lines from the song ďTime of the PreacherĒ: How he loved her so dearly, he went out of his mindÖ. An’ he cried like a baby; He screamed like a panther in the middle of the night.Ē

April 3, 2010 at 5:25 pm
(40) Linda says:

Thank you comment #34. you words I hope will help. My husband was a great fan of willy and country music. I sent the name of the song to one of my sons so he can get me a copy if he doesn’t already have it. My husdband favorate song to me was always and forever by S. Twain. we were listening to that at the time of the accident. thanks so much.

April 25, 2010 at 10:12 pm
(41) RFB says:

My comom law wife passed away not quite 2 months ago . I feel very alone . Do the people reading this think that when I die that my spirit will be reunited with her ? She died suddenly and I’m filled with guilt and remorse . There’s things that I would have liked to have said to her . And I wish I had been kinder to her near the end . Overall I was quite good to her but the last little while I was self absorbed , I didn’t realise things would go the way they did . I wish I was with her .

May 9, 2010 at 12:38 pm
(42) Rhonda says:

My husband just died in a tragic accident and it also happened on our 8th wedding anniversary. I don’t know how to deal with it. I shut everything and everybody out of my life except for him and and our little boy so this makes me feel like i have lost my not only the love of my life but also my only true friend i relied on him for everything. I had been going through social anxiety before this so i closed all people out of my life except him. And now he is gone…i know he would never leave me by choice but i find myself telling him hey you know you are the strong one not me why did you go before me?
I honestly think he could have handled it better than i am
I hurt so bad i feel my heart is physically broke i can actually feel it in pieces in my chest. Then when my son says mama i don’t want daddy’s pictures i want daddy i physically hurt for him. He is only 6 how do help him when i can’t help myself?

May 20, 2010 at 2:45 pm
(43) T says:

Two weeks ago, I lost my husband/best friend/soulmate. We had been together for five years but had only been married five months. He was on the computer and collapsed, I had to watch him die right in front of my eyes while waiting for the paramedics to arrive. That moment constantly replays in my mind like a broken record, I can’t seem to get it to stop. Outwardly I appear functional, but I can’t sleep at night, I have no appetite, I have no passion for anything. It’s like I’m just waiting for death to take me so I can be with him again. Unfortunately, in my case, I have not yet died of a broken heart.

May 21, 2010 at 6:15 pm
(44) Beautiful Disaster says:

I’ve loved, I’ve lost, I’ve mourned, I’ve went through each day as the walking dead. I’ve concluded that I exist so I can be left behind. As I stand next to another casket, there’s nobody left for me to grieve. I keep my world small, so I will not have others to watch pass. It’s my own self preservation. When you’ve reached your limit and you’re on a first name basis with every funeral director in a 5 county region….I’d say that’s enough. Today, I nurse my last broken heart. I am numb, no tears fall, no joy, just fear and a heaviness in my chest. Tomorrow, I will again, go through the motions and one day I hope I don’t have to remind myself to breath in and breath out. I am a rescuer and now I wait to be rescued…..

May 23, 2010 at 9:18 pm
(45) Jason says:

Last month my math teacher told my girl friends dad that she was dating me and that I’m a terrible person…(she being a Jovahs witnesss) her dad took her out of school to be home schooled. He told her that she could never see me again or talk to me. I haven’t talked to her or seen her since then I miss her so dearly.

May 24, 2010 at 11:10 pm
(46) mike says:

It has been 12 years since my wife passed away. Time does help to heal the wounds. I’ve been through the stages of grief a few times … denial, anger, bargaining..the final stage acceptance i dont think i have reached. But I have improved. I feel yr pain Toni. I haven’t really had the passion for any relationships, although i have tried somewhat. The first few months were the worst, since i had to take sleeping pills to sleep and would probably had lost my job, if i hadn;t already had it for 5 yrs. i am now only 49 years old and wonder if my time for romance has come and gone.

June 12, 2010 at 6:12 pm
(47) steve says:

After 32 yrs together tragically and suddenly I lost my wife last year and time stopped for me. I lost my past and our future. For 2 months I was a zombie. After a failed suicide attempt back then I decided to stick around to sort things out for the family. Thats almost done now and I have made preparations to depart. Time does not heal and I don’t want anyone or anything else. Nothing matters to me, I am just existing. I am not depressed I just refuse to live without her.

June 16, 2010 at 2:12 am
(48) Nikki says:

My heart has recently just been broken by a man I love more than anything, I have never felt pain and turmoil at this level. Every few minutes no matter if I’m watching t.v or in the middle of talking I fight my tears from streaming down my face wondering when enough will be enough. Never in all my life did I know that pain like this existed. Every moment no matter what I do I just can’t stop thinking about killing myself, I don’t wanna kill myself I just wanna die. I just think if I slam my head against the counter I’ll knock myself out and for a few minutes I won’t be able to feel pain anymore. I have no desire to live, I just wanna go home where I will see the beautiful face of Jesus and he can hold me and comfort Me forever .

June 18, 2010 at 10:17 am
(49) Isabelle says:

My heart is broken right now.
I have good days and bad days but on the bad days, I can’t even breathe; the pain is too immense.
I’m drinking almost every night.
I was with my partner for about six years.
He is a of a different religion to me and after about three years together he said that it wouldn’t work out for us and that one of us had to make the break. I reluctantly agreed but neither of us wanted to make the break.
This year we went on two weekend breaks and the last one was Paris.
A week after Paris he went abroad. I knew he was going abroad to get married but he told me he didnt know if that would actually happen. He said he’d have to see when he went over there.
Those two and a half weeks were so hard but when he got back and told me he was married, that was even worse.
To make matters worse, this guy is my boss.
I’m about to be promoted and it’s a brilloant career move, but I cant stand being there because when I see him, it breaks my heart.
I miss him so much and it hurts when I see him but when I dont see him it hurts.
I just want it to be like before.
I really love him and I cant see myself getting over this.

I feel like I have bipolar. One day I’m happy and I can chat with him, the next I’m so down and I’m battling with myself to stop from texting him ‘I hate you’ and it’s so hard to get out of bed.

I don’t know what to do. I never thought emotional pain could become physical. My heart literally hurts.

June 23, 2010 at 12:04 am
(50) Cin says:

I lost my mom on june 11th of this year and the pain is horrible. I cry everyday for her and cant even go through a thunderstorm(I used to love them) without being frightened. I’m crying as I write this. I watched her suffer with multiple forms of cancer and my heart is breaking. I’m sorry for everyone here who lost a loved one. May they and my mom rest in eternal peace.

June 27, 2010 at 7:43 am
(51) jk says:

steve: #47
please, please, see someone who will guide you through your grief. I know very well how absolutely blinding it can be. You are grieving her because she was precious and her life was precious. You are also precious and your life is equally precious. You are isolated, and can not see the love for you through your tears. Please, from an anonymous person who cares about you and feels your pain, seek out the help you need. Time does not heal, you are right, but the human spirit is stronger than we could imagine and it can learn to live with grief, and to continue the work we have been assigned in this world. I have you in my thoughts. Please check in with me if you need to talk. jk

June 28, 2010 at 11:10 am
(52) YS says:

On June 7th, I received a call from my boyfriends co-worker that he had died. We were together for five years. What was more devastating, was that he had died two days earlier and no one knew. He worked as a correctional officer and was working a lot of double shifts leading up to his death as many of his fellow co-workers called out taking time off.

I live in in another sate, about 45 mins away. What I later found out, was that he had heart disease. And had had two heart attacks prior to our meeting and eventually dating. He died of a sudden heart attack while getting ready for work. I was told, he had called into his job letting them know he would be an hour late. He never made it in.

I was with him the last three weeks of his life and left to go back home 3 days before he died. We always spoke on the phone, by email and text message. He would always let me know when he would be working late. He did the night before he died.

I hadn’t heard from him the next morning as our ritual was him calling me when he drove into the facilities parking lot before entering the center. So I called him no answer and it was like that for the next few days after. I was upset that he hadn’t called and thought he was ordered to do more double shifts and just couldn’t reach out to me. By then, he was already gone.

Was was more devastating, was that I had a funny feeling, that I, would not live to see my 50th birthday. After having told a friend of mine that, she said, it wasn’t my death I was having a premonition about, but his. I lost it.

Today, makes 24 days since he passed. I’m still crying and wished I was there to save him. I never got a chance to tell hi I would see him later. Everyday is harder than the first and I can’t come to terms that he’s gone. I keep thinking I’ll speak with him when he gets off work. I do believe in signs as I saw three of them 10 days after he passed. Two of the exact trucks he owned, same color, same make and, an ambulance that was racing on the parkway all directly in front of me. I try to remember the fun we had together, his jokes and his smile. The tears never stop falling and my heart although beats everyday, I no longer feel. Everyday, I wish he would come back for me so we would be together again. I don’t want to live without him, I get up everyday only because of my dog. If it wasn’t for her, I don’t know what I’d do.

Right now, I am only existing and not living. I don’t want to live, I don’t want to feel. It hurts too much. My family wants me to move on. How can I when I just want to die.

July 4, 2010 at 3:47 am
(53) Tinabou says:

I lost my husband of 12 years (together 14 – but were childhood sweethearts 10 years before we were married) on June 18th of this year. He was diagnosed with bladder cancer in February following bladder infection-like symptoms. Between Feb and the day he died he was only home with me and our children for 3 weeks. I had horrible experiences with hospital staff in various hospitals not letting me spend time with him before he went (following the visitor policy rules) and I feel VERY angry that they stole precious time from me. We were expecting to spend the summer together and planning to start chemo in the fall – after all, he was supposedly not riddled with cancer. Turns out, 2 days after we started talking discharge, he actually was riddled with cancer. 2 weeks after the discharge meeting he died in palliative care.

I feel like the rest of you. My heart feels like it’s being crushed. I don’t want to go on – I just want to be with him. I told a couple of friends (the ones that said ‘anytime you need to talk, just call) that for the first time in my life I am hoping end-world theorists are right and 2012 will be the end. Next thing you know everyone is all worried I’m suicidal and they are telling me to stay strong for our kids. I’m not suicidal and I’m trying to be strong for them – that’s why I want 2012 to be the end, so that NOBODY has to be left behind or hurt – we’ll all go. Nobody gets it. Nobody understands why I just want to be with him. Well, except for all of you. I know you all ‘get’ it because you’ve been there – whether it be through death or divorce or separation. I can’t breathe. I have no motivation or passion. I’m terrified I’ll be alone for the rest of my life – I’m only 43 (he was only 44) and we were supposed to grow old together. Now it’s just me. I learned how to start the barbeque today and I should be happy about that (that was always his job) but instead I feel empty. The first thing I wanted to do when I learned was to share it with him. Then I just burst into tears after the friend left who showed me.

It’s true what people said about how I would manage to muddle through because of my children. But it doesn’t give me the motivation I feel I need to get through each day emotionally. I feel like a zombie, in a trance.

I really really really wish it was true that people could die from a broken heart. I have an uncle whos wife died in an accident one christmas day and he – being perfectly healthy in every way – died exactly one week later. His heart “just stopped”. Every night I will my heart to stop. I pray I won’t wake up. And then I give myself heck for praying because that’s the other thing…none of my prayers through his illness were heard or answered. I didn’t pray for him to be healed or saved – because I know that’s all Gods will – but I prayed for strength and courage and comfort. I got nothing. In fact, I don’t believe in gratitude either anymore, because everything I’ve ever expressed gratitude for has been taken. Now I’m just empty. I always knew I’d be okay in life if I had someone strong – my soul mate – by my side when my parents died. Instead, my soul mate was taken.

I’m so so sorry for all your losses. I don’t wish this horrible pain on anyone! I wish there was something we could all do to get rid of the pain.

Thanks for listening to my long winded ranting.

July 4, 2010 at 2:08 pm
(54) Bannasch says:

im in the navy and i leave every few months and this most recent time i was dating a girl that had short term memory loss, she knew who i was but she didnt remember our relationship or my love and now she is someone elses with no recolection of me
i was going to marry this girl before we left this time
but now not so much, my friends want me to talk to other girls and get over it
but i love(d) her and i feel so very heartbroken i havent been able to do anything ive felt too tired and i wake up crying because of these nightmares and so i try to avoid it by not sleeping but one can only do that for so long..
this whole expirence made me ralize that no matter how much you love sometimes Love just isnt enough and i thought it was and that breaks my heart a little more everyday im just begging that the last little piece will break already so that i can have some peace.

July 5, 2010 at 10:51 pm
(55) Kathy says:

I’m 54 and have had a broken heart of one or so kind since age 5. Thats when my mother left us with our father for 3 or so years. Since then I’ve been “abandoned” by that father, my husband (when he left me when I was 8 and one half months pregnant with child #2) My step father when he didn’t want to wait for 30 min for me to see a counsellor after having said baby alone cuz there was no-one interested to be with me for that birth. Then there is the time that your own kids basically want you to leave them alone. I along with many people have a broken heart throughout their life. It is very very lonely

July 7, 2010 at 5:40 pm
(56) VC says:

My husband died suddenly of a heart attack on June 3rd of this year. We have two children. He was 38 years old. We had been together for 16 years, married for 5. We lived in different places for a while because I was schooling. We were planning to move back to where he lived this summer. So many plans we had. So many…
When I learned that he had died, it felt like a part of me died too. I wanted to die too. I prayed that God would not wake me up. It felt like someone had reached into my chest and was ripping my heart out. The pain was so severe that my family considered hospitalization for me. The pain steals your breath away. I could not eat, could barely talk, it hurt to breathe. I am still not sleeping at night and I cry so much that sometimes I think that I will drown in my own tears. Sometimes I wish that I would. Then I look at the two beautiful faces of my children and I know that it wouldn’t be fair to them. I miss my husband so much. So very much. Whenever I do fall off into a restless sleep I awake and its like new all over again. The reality of it all hits me and I feel incapacitated. I pray day and night. Day and night. I have put my faith in God for there is nothing on this earth that can help me now. I pray for direction and understanding. I pray for strength and wisdom. I pray for my children. I will pray for all of you that have lost, that somehow, you can find peace as well as myself. Each day is hard and time has seemed to stand still for me. I hope that one day I can actually wake with a smile after a regular night’s rest. I think that forever my heart will remain shattered.Forever I will love my husband.

July 11, 2010 at 3:52 am
(57) Wes says:

Chris (#31), I know just how you feel. My gf left me unexpectedly as well and it’s the worst feeling in the world. I’ve had an ex die on me, but I was able to get through it with support. Then I met my last gf, and thought I finally found the “one,” someone who would accept me for me.
We were into each other from the very beginning, probably moved too fast, but made all sorts of fantastic and romantic plans. Then one night I missed a text message from her, she accused me of ignoring her, and the next day she emailed me at work and said we weren’t communicating well. Then she emailed a list of issues that were causing problems in the relationship.
She didn’t even want to talk about them, and just cut me off. I have Crohn’s Disease, and in the nearly three months since she left, the heartbreak has made me ill. I’ve lost weight, I’ve become pale, and of course many times during the day I get a sharp pain in my heart. Sometimes I get palpatations. Some nights I can’t sleep. I’ve become very depressed. There are days I don’t want to get out of bed, and some days I have panic attacks. I truly believed she was the one for me, and it’s killing me.
My friends and family don’t want to hear about it, and I have no support. I’ve looked into professional help, left messages for several support gropus and doctors, but have recieved no responses.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel betrayed, worthless and completely alone. And I hate it…

July 11, 2010 at 1:43 pm
(58) Melissa says:

The love of my life came to me over a year and a half ago. He was a Helicopter Pilot in the AF and did Combat Search and Rescue Missions. He was on a mission rescuing a badly injured solider when his helicopter was shot down by a RPG. He always told me “he would come back to me” and he did….in a deep coma, with devastating brain injuries that were un-recoverable. He passed away July 2, 2010. He gave me three weeks to be by his bedside to love, hold, kiss and pray over him. I feel very lucky to have had that time with him, sitting bedside in ICU from 8am-1130pm, many others dont get that amount of time to tell them how much you love them!
He gave his life to save others. We had a wedding date for Sept 4, 2010 and everything was all set to happen. I lost my future plans and dreams before it could even start. I was planning a wedding and now Im planning a funeral, I just cant get over how this has hit me like a brick wall. I just dont get it.
In my heart, I feel like God brought me into his life to show and give him all the love he deserved and had missed during his life and make his last years very loving and special for him. But, I dont understand why God brought him into my life? To give me the man I’ve always prayed for and then take him away…I just dont get it?? I know he is in a much better place where there is no wars but I feel so lost left behind with my future completely diminished. I have already lost my job last Dec, now my house, my future husband and my heart….how does one go on? I keep hearing one minute at a time, but after each minute passes, I know he is still not here and its doesnt make it any easier.

July 11, 2010 at 6:37 pm
(59) Mrs. Kellie Dawn Jennings says:

Hi, I am a new widow as of 5 months ago today ( July 11, 2010) . I was with my long time husband for almost 30 yrs ( common law & legally ), at least it would have been 30 yrs. in 10 days from today. I am trying to kill myself somehow , because I can’t & don”t want to live without HIM @ ALL.

July 12, 2010 at 8:25 pm
(60) Melissa says:

#59 Mrs. Jennings
Please dont hurt yourself. Your husband would never want you to harm yourself. He loved you and wants you to continue living, for him. I am going through something very similar, I lost my fiance in this war earlier this month and I find each minute harder than the next. But Im slowly realizing that he loves me and wants me to still enjoy life. I firmly believe that we will be reunited again when Its the Lords decision. Im afraid that if one takes their own life, we might not get to see our loved ones ever again. Im meeting with councelors and support groups through my church starting tomorrow to get help…please dont harm yourself, its not what he would want you to do!!!! I dont want to live without my man either and I feel I cant, but reading others stories and believing that the Lord has a plan for us all is whats getting me through this. We just have to take it day by day, minute by minute and trust that what is best for us, is what will be. Maybe go get some books on grieving, they have also been helping me!!
Much Love,
Melissa

July 12, 2010 at 8:45 pm
(61) Melissa says:

#59 Mrs. Jennings

PLEASE go to this website

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

July 28, 2010 at 8:25 pm
(62) Been where you are says:

The problem is really with acceptance. I suffered and cried every day, many times a day for over two years. then I decided to force my self to accept the loss. i had to force it because my mind kept telling me otherwise, that we’ll meet again someday, that there was some other reason we had to part, that deep down he loved me. i went out of my way made the effort to really convince myself that no, he is gone. we will never meet again. it sounds harsh, but its really the most compassionate, kind thing you will ever do for yourself. let it go. let him (or her) go. i only did this recently and already i can feel the life running through my veins again. i understand how each of you feel and i so hope that my words are of some comfort.

July 30, 2010 at 8:31 pm
(63) Been where you are says:

never mind what i just said. back to crying. there’s no forcing acceptance. i guess we just have to wait for it. does’t two years seem long enough? i thought i let it go, turns out it didn’t let go of me. what does it take? prozac? why can we just heal naturally? does it mean something if the pain never stops, does it mean the love is real?

August 2, 2010 at 12:31 pm
(64) lorraine says:

my husband of 43 years passed away only 2 weeks ago.I don’t know how to live with the pain,,We lived in NY all our lives then just 4 months ago we moved to NC. I can’t deal with the loneliness and the terrible pain and now i seem to be feeling homesick,like i am lost here, I keep thinking if we stayed in NY this would not have happened, but he wanted to retire and live in the country,, also he went to NY to visit and had heart attack there. I never said good by to him except when he left and i told him i love him and would see him the next week…and then he was gone,,,,i dont know if i can deal with this, i have a son and grandchildren here . daughter in TN son in NJ and son in NY..But i feel so lost,,,i need my husband so bad,,my heart is broken..don’t know if it will ever heal…..

August 3, 2010 at 4:35 am
(65) ian says:

you can die of a broken heart as a heart is what you are alive for. without any light in your heart all you are is a carcass of skin, wandering through a coma-like dreamland.

time is not a healer. time is a slow acting sedative.

the only prevention of this is to have lived well each day and shown love to all around you. or to pull someones leg all day. anything thats alive. life is short. life is mean. life is good. life is gone.

August 3, 2010 at 4:52 am
(66) ian says:

i have a tattoo which reads ‘SEM’ on my inner wrist. it stands for savor every minute.

its amazing how we have to be reminded.

August 10, 2010 at 12:39 am
(67) Peg says:

My husband passed six weeks ago today on June 28th, from lung cancer. I had been his caregiver, wife, friend and warrior for the last year and a half, but he was Stage IV the day he was diagnosed, so it was always a matter of time.

He was in hospice at home from June 1st on, but never wanted any help from outside. Just me. The last weekend of his life he was dying before my eyes, on oxygen, and so restless, needing to be moved from the couch to the computer to the bed, and then all over again.

I was exhausted, and pulled my back out lifting him from the wheelchair over and over again, till finally I refused to do it again. From his weakened state he whispered, “That’s not fair.” I was devastated to see who I really was, that I would not help him at his time of need as I was so selfish.

I went into the bedroom and closed the door, and screamed at God, as I think I was beginning to lose my mind. I needed help, but didn’t have any. And there was no sanity left. My husband was not rational, nor was I…

I went back and moved him to the computer, and wept. That was Sunday. I called hospice to get more help, and he was to go into a hospice center the next day. After hours with him struggling to breath that night, praying with him and telling him to go toward the light, he seemed to be going home to God peacefully.

Until 5:30 am when he sat straight up in bed, and became very agitated. After half an hour or so of trying to help him urinate into a cut-off coke bottle as we had no urinal, how absurd that was, I went to the bathroom and heard a soft thud. I thought it was the neighbors above, till I found him lying on the floor, eyes staring ahead, so still. And so cold…eyes staring forward, dilated so big.

I was hysterical, and called hospice for help – but there was no answer!!! And you can’t call 911 as he was a DNR. So finally I reached our doctor who said he was probably dead. PROBABLY! By then, of course he was. So insane, and that image is seared into my mind. Forever. I feel guilty, I should have been nicer, and truly I never failed him until that weekend. He died the day before my 61st birthday. He was only 58.

I cannot feel him, I do not know if he is angry with me, though we loved each other dearly for almost 20 years. I just can’t shake this huge numbness, and sense of failure. It was a terrible ending, and I just keep wondering “what is the point?” Why are we here to end this way, to suffer so, to just un-be one day, with no dignity.

I have no purpose in my life, and though I want to die I am not even sure if he will meet me on the other side. How sad this all becomes…

I heard something recently, that we must choose our thoughts, just as we choose our clothes. I will try to work on that, but right now, my thoughts seem to be calling the shots. And they are not kind to me. I guess you can die of a broken heart, if you are lucky. I doubt I am.

I wish you all comfort, and light. For me too. Thank you for letting me share this sad night with you…

August 12, 2010 at 1:21 am
(68) in disbelief.. says:

I was on a break from my fiance (we met when I was 18 and he was 19-I am 27 now), we met when we were young and I felt he needed to be single for a while to ‘see what else is out there’ before making the big step, i guess so we could focus on each other once we were back together….(we still would talk on the phone and see each other a few times a month) after 9 months on a break (I always knew we would be back together, as did all of his friends), he was fatally shot a month ago…

He tried to get back together with me 3 months ago, but I told him I was not ready and to give it a bit more time..I feel so gt that time…

I feel like I am just a shell, going through the motions every day. I have to drag myself out of bed, I have no motivation..I feel like I have no purpose anymore..I have lost my past and my future..I have no desire to meet anyone else…I am only 27…I cant imagine living another 50 years feeling this way…its unbearable..i can never focus at work..i feel like ‘whats the point of doing anything?’…i still cant believe he is really gone..

all i keep thinking of is, what if i never ever get to meet with him again…what if the last time i saw him was really the last time…..whats my purpose now, to be miserable?

none of my family understands, they are all married so they still have their partner…i am truly alone in this world…he was my first love, first real boyfriend, my soul mate…

i pray i die of a broken heart so i can be with him very soon, if being reunited with him is even a real thing that can happen…..

August 14, 2010 at 4:25 pm
(69) Melissa says:

Indisbelief….I just lost my fiancee too. Would you like to talk. Im here! I know exactly the pain you are feeling.

August 17, 2010 at 5:14 pm
(70) Tread says:

I lost my common law wife of almost 10 yrs, on July 18th. She was diagnosed with lung cancer on May 27th and gone in less than 2 months. I have her 22 yr old daughter (one of the 6 we had between us ranging in age from 22 to 34) 2 of our 8 total grandkids, a puppy she found living in the house with me. I have family and friends galore around me. They all combine to help me feel and stay relatively SANE.

Although we were on the verge of breakup just before she was diagnosed, we were able to make our peace for those final few weeks of her life. I was blessed to have a great support system around me from her family and friends to my job.

I have to say that knowing that she is no longer suffering helps me as well. She was in an “at home” hospice for all of 36 hrs after being in ICU for 4 of her last 6 weeks of life. She went from being relatively up and vibrant albeit in a lot of pain to making her “transition” as the hospice nurse referrd to “it” in 36 hrs. Even the nurse was stunned at her rapid decline, she admitted that she thought that she had at least another couple of months to go.

My girl knew she was leaving us and did all she could to prepare us for her departure. Even on the very last day of her life she requested that I gather as many of her friends and family that I could to come and say goodbye. AND they did, dozens of folks filed through, laughed, cried and enjoyed the person that she was. For some it was very hard for others it was less painful and the oportunity to ask forgiveness freed them from whatever issues or guilt they may have had with her.

Although the pain of missing her is there, my thoughts of having some great times out way my memories of her last few days.

I can only say that although this is still early in my healing process, I’m okay…I’m at work…I walk our dog and talk with the kids and in my quiet time I pray for strength…and I know that God is good all the time and all the time God is good!

I pray for all on this blog who are in pain, I pray that you too will know that God, the Creator or whatever HIGHER POWER you believe in has better and brighter days for you too…just believe that!

August 18, 2010 at 9:29 am
(71) sybil wilkins says:

i lost my husband 10 months ago, he was only sick 4 days and he was gone, at first i couldn’t eat, i didn’t want company or phone calls did not want to talk to anyone. 6 months later i suffered mini strokes, had to have surgery, blocked cartoid artery, sense then, have went down hill. miss him more he was the only one that cared, no one else does

August 19, 2010 at 6:05 pm
(72) Anon says:

My boyfriend (almost finace) shot himself in the head 3 weeks and 3 days ago- completely unexpectedly. I do not believe I can survive this, the pain is too great to bear. I can barely make it through each day. I wish I was dead too but could never do to my family what he has done to me. I don’t know what to do.

August 27, 2010 at 8:08 am
(73) Nancy says:

amazing how we end up on specific websites. It’s been 2 months to the day that my boyfriend and I broke up. I actually broke up with him, but it was all very sudden. He was the love of my life. The one I thought my Dad had always told me would come along, the one I always thought was out there. He came in my life when I least expected it, or wanted it..and he told me I was his healing rain…now he’s gone. I’ve tried every self help book, therapy, even hypnotherapy..nothing is helping. I pray every night that I won’t wake up… now I’m considering suicide. Nothing dramatic…I just want to go to sleep..and not wake up. I have bad asthma, so everyone would just think I had an asthma attack during the night. I know it sounds crazy and at 45, very immature…but living with this pain is crazy. From reading everyone’s posts…you all know what I mean. What else is there?

August 31, 2010 at 10:15 pm
(74) Justsomelady says:

I dont know exactly how to explain what Im going through. Our relationship was only about 8months in and I have lost a child an I must disagree that one hurts more than the other. You have the support of the other parent and the love you still have for eachother to pull you through it. Im facing this in a manner that feels so alone and Im suffocating inside! Its been 3 months and nothing is different. I cant even get rid of his things. I get up and go everyday because I have to and there is nothing more behind it. I still have children I love and have to be here for but there is no drive in it anymore! If I didnt have to be here I wouldnt.

September 6, 2010 at 12:49 am
(75) nikki says:

I know how everyone feels I lost my husband in march 2010 due to lung cancer I knew it was coming and the doctor would not tell me how long he had. Well I had 5 months and it was fast. But he was my first love and we where married for 12yrs and we have a 10yr old and the hardest thing was to tell my 10yr old her dad died. I sit here and I cry all the time and I would have brake downs to where I couldn’t think I couldn’t live if he wasn’t here. And my family took me and got me some help. And what keeps me on earth is my daughter.

September 17, 2010 at 8:23 pm
(76) Andrew says:

I too am feeling this effect. My relationship with a woman ended and I have over the past year completely fallen apart. I was a physician and univeristy researcher with a good grip on life, but all of that is gone now. I quit my job many months ago and have set myself into slow pace of constant grief. I really feel like there is no point in living anymore, as I have thought about her personality, presence, and impact on my life and have come to the realization that she was the best thing in all my years of living that I ever had or and the feelings of happiness I had with her were the best that I had ever experienced in my life. She was my life and now she is gone. I really am having trouble seeing any point in going on much longer.

September 18, 2010 at 5:25 pm
(77) Tammie says:

Ive read many of your post and until now a thought I was the only one that knew this pain. I’ve recently lost my husband in a terrible accident. He was only 33. He left me with our 4 children to raise. Im so angry! I lost my soulmate. I’ve never known love until I knew him and I’ve never known pain until I lost him. Im losing my mind. When Im not in a hysterical crying spell begging God for answers, Im looking for signs of his presence. If I find a penny laying on the ground, or a paper falls from the counter, or a song that reminds me of him comes on I think he’s communicating with me. Then reality sets in and the crying starts back up because Im such a fool. I don’t know if its possible to die of a broken heart but I sure hope it is! Im ready to see him again! I’ve tried and tried to remember the last time I told him that I loved him but I can’t remember!! It kills me! I love you will be the first thing I tell jim on that sweet day I with him again! I love you baby, Ill see you soon!

September 20, 2010 at 10:28 pm
(78) David E. says:

My wife just died a month ago. We were married for 30 years. While the advice of being good to yourself and eating properly is very important, not moving for a year doesn’t seem rational to me. I want to move from this house in no more then 6 months. I hate to move, but this house is way too big for me. My kids are grown and no longer living with me. I am alone in this house. While things need to be sorted, my wife never got rid of anything, I need to move before 6 months are out. Too many sad memories happened in this place. I’m living on limited funds, and the rent here may be too much for me to handle.
I miss my wife terribly, and try to keep busy. I am self employed, and don’t work a regular five day week. I have lots of free time. My kids are close to me, but my 2 daughters have families of their own. My son has a girl friend and works unusual hours. They are very supportive, but have limited time that they can spend with me. I’ve been going to church more often and pray a lot more too. That helps me get through the loss.
But with my two new grandsons this year, I have something to look forward to. But loneliness is always there, and my sleeping has been erratic. I’m getting by okay, I have good days and bad. I don’t cry as much as I did the first couple of weeks, but I sometimes cry when I least expect it. So I think the best way to get through this grief is to spend time to reflect about your life with your spouse, think about your future without them, and to keep busy and have a little fun too.

September 29, 2010 at 7:55 pm
(79) Latasha says:

I was wondering if hypotism can help we people who grieve losses? It is helpful to smokers & people who want to lose weight, can hypnotism possible help us as well? Better yet, its too bad that there isn’t some method that could wipe away all our sorrw & frustration lwaving only a sweet memory of the person we have lost. My pain is intolerable and I have developed constant migrane headaches as a result. My doctor can only perwcribe perscription medicine but the core of the problem is my grieving for 4 family members 2 of whom are my husband and mother. there is no break fromt he grif, not counseling that can correct the problem. The solution would be if they walked thorugh athe door tomorrow completley well and ready to resume life with me. Taht is not going to happen I guess, so… I have been told by some that I am dead inside, but I am in sever grievf and mourn them every hour of everyday. I do not know what the answer is, talking to people does not really change anything.

October 8, 2010 at 3:09 am
(80) Jenn says:

It has been two years since my fiance has passed away. I am very young, but I have lived a hard life. My love of my life turned my whole life around, he brought light into my soul, and created possibilities and dreams and brought strength back into me.
After the car accident he was in, i found out 3 months later that I was pregnant with his child, 1 month after that I had a miscarriage.
My life has been a never ending obstacle and I am so afraid of love. Love could make me so strong, but love is capable of making me very weak as well. It is the only thing that can break me. I feel lost without him, i miss him, i miss a lot of things. I’ve tried so hard to be strong.
I’ve talked to family, to friends, I’ve gotten help, tried medication everything. I started workin 3-4 jobs at a time, I even made enough to buy myself a car and paid tuition to go to school. I have 4 days of school left, and that feeling of lost is coming right back.
My heart is empty, I’ve closed everyone off. I leave the door with a smile on my face, this bubbly person that I once knew. But I come home to darkness and sorrow and pain that hurts just too much that no one truly understands. No one.
I’ve gained a lot of weight since he has passed, I do not feel beautiful no more and I am no longer the same person that I once was.
I cant find the will to go to the gym nor do I want to “party”.
I try to, but it isnt fun to me anymore.
I tried moving on, only to be let down.
I’m scared, confused, and as many people as I do have here for me, I feel alone.
My mind hurts, and how many times do we sit there and think..if i leave today, I won’t have to hurt anymore?
I call my mom at night, and cry my heart out, I’m so confused….I have the world in my palms, I have so much going for me, yet my heart..my hearttt just hurts so much…
I’m emotionallyy in so much pain and I do not know what else i could possibly do.

October 8, 2010 at 3:10 am
(81) Jenn says:

I pray every night trying to find hope again, I need that miracle that will bring that smile back to my face.
I hate being selfish, knowing others are suffering worst things out there and I know my baby wouldn’t want me to be like this…never in my life have i felt so weak…never have I not been able to fight through things…
I just feel so lost…I feel like I’m just living..just because. Just because I don’t wanna hurt anyone if I were to leave…and just because I feel God will take me when it is my time to go.
I don’t want to cry anymore….
but believe me when I say…that yes…you could die of a broken heart…

October 14, 2010 at 11:49 pm
(82) Scott says:

My fiancee, Kathy, was my very best friend, my lover, my confidant, my everything. She was 27 years old and 7 months pregnant with our son, Nathaniel, when they were killed in a car crash on January 27, 2010. A man was going 65mph in a 45mph zone when he ran the red light and slammed into her vehicle hard enough to break her neck and kill her on impact. She was coming to pick me up from work and when she didn’t show up, I started walking and walked up on the crash site. Se was already covered with a sheet. I have been so sad and so empty since then I can’t even express how I feel. My consolation is that I know they are in Heaven and I will be with them again but, even with that knowledge, I would love to be able to just lay down and die. I truly believe what kills you after the death of a loved one is the result of a broken heart…the loss of the will to live. In all honesty, I believe the only reason I’m still here instead of with her and our babies (Nathaniel was killed with her and we had a miscarriage on 11/8/2008) is that my living children still need me here. They give me the reason to stay and endure the pain of missing them.I’m ready to go as soon as God lets me be reunited with them.

October 19, 2010 at 6:20 pm
(83) Georghia says:

My gf of two years broke up with me even though she said ahestill loved me and wanted to be with me. She said the spark wasn’t there anymore. I loveher with all my heart and beyond all reasonable
doubt. I have bi polar schizophrenic symptoms and multiple personality disorder. I kissed someone else a year ago and so dd she but she said she couldn’t get over it subconciously even though she forgave me. I hav no will to live I’m a self garner and it’s just so tempting to just press that little bit harder because if I don’t have her I’d rather be dead. I am broken hearted beyond everything and she said there is still a vance for us not right now and I’m so scared she is going to find someone else and then I will either die from the pain or end it by my own hand. I’m
ugly and fat and stupid and useless anyway so she probably realised she could do better and no one will ever love me like she did. My life is over…

October 20, 2010 at 7:06 pm
(84) alan Shepherd says:

I lost my wife 5 years ago, it was quite sudden and she was almost 52 at the time, I was 64. We had been married 35 years and were very close, she was my best friend and I can’t forget her. Each day is a challenge for me and I feel so lonely even though I am surrounded by people, I have suffered from depression now for the past 2 years and the thought of ending it all is always present, I have spoken to my doctors about how I feel and they just seem to ignore me, whet do I do.

Alan

October 28, 2010 at 8:00 pm
(85) ELIZABETH says:

(84) Alan, I know how you feel. I lost my daughter. You are never prepared for someone younger than you to go and I don’t think I will ever get over it. I talk about not wanting to go on and am ignored. It is how you feel. Maybe your doctors don’t think you will act on it and that is why they are not paying attention. Don’t act on it if you want to be with her again. What I try to do is make myself not be aware of time passing so that it will not seem like forever until we are together again. I am far from healed. In fact I hope I die of a broken heart. I will be happy because it means I can be with her. Just try to hold her in your heart even when it causes pain. Write a book or journal of your time together. Go over a memory every day that helps you remember your love. Love never dies. You will find her again when your time has passed here. Try to get out once a day and do a good deed in her memory. Even if it is to put grass seed or a flower on anothers grave if you visit the cemetary. Be kind to yourself as you want her to see your best self when the time comes for you to meet again. I am sorry it is so hard.

October 29, 2010 at 3:15 am
(86) cherrie says:

my fiance sadly passed away in a car accident on jan 31st 2010.

We where together for 6 years and just got engaged in oct 09 we had our ups n downs but at that time we where very happy. we both changed our lifes around we where just waiting to get married and have a family.

i cant sleep i havent slept right since the night of the accident i have to stay awake untill im too tired to even think b4 my eyes will close. i think about him all the time i hear his voice.

praying has helped me alot alltho i still question alot being a muslim i shouldnt but its so hard to accept. he was only 24 he was helping someone when the accident occured he changed his life around.i keep telling myself i have to live my life coz my life didnt end but then why does it feel like it has.

but i do ask why did God have to take everything awayy from me was i that bad to be given a lesson of this size?

ive thought to i wanna die i prayed i wud die constantly but its not my time.my fiances mum told me even tho she is suffering alot that God never puts a burden on us that we cant handle.All we can do is pray for lost loved ones and try to make ourselfs happy we do deserve it. allthough its easier said than done.

October 29, 2010 at 5:11 pm
(87) Nikki says:

My aunt died on sept 13 2010 at 10:30pm. She was 34 with 3 kids. An 18yrold boy a 16yr old boy and a 3 year old daughter. She fell off an overpass on to a hightway where she was hit by a car a truck and 3 18 wheelers. The pain as been bad but I have been able to get my head back on in the last 3 days because her kids need me. Her 16 yr old son is now living with us and that is helping me so much to know I am helping her. I know I will still have those bad days and nights, For the 1st month or so I would lay awake at night thinking she was going to knock on my window and tell me is was a mistake and it wasnt her. I never thought god would take such a good person in such a bad way. I can’t get over what has happened to her it just isnt fair. But the pain you get in your chest really feel like it could kill you any second. You feel like your body is filling up with tears and your heart cant take the salt.

November 1, 2010 at 12:14 pm
(88) Josh says:

Well my mom died but i got over that in like 2 years .. but i had a gf for nine months and during those months alot of things happened that guys my age would prob run from .. but i stayed with her no matter what . but i made a mistake and we broke up . with any other girl i could get over it .. but with her i feel like crap everyday and i we fight still and everytime i just feel like hanging myself .. i have never felt this way before

November 2, 2010 at 12:31 pm
(89) Michael says:

I hadn’t the time to read everone’s response to this question so I’ll keep mine short.
My wife and I are splitting up. I am still deathly in love with her and wish NOT to live without her. BUT, she was with another and still is and that heartache is way too much for me to bare.
I haven’t had contact with her for over a week now and wish not to go near our house for fear of what might happen inside me.
Death from a broken heart? I will let you know in a few days.

Take care.

God, even when I told her how much I loved her she denied it! I knew there was someone else. God I still love her so …

November 4, 2010 at 9:14 am
(90) michelle says:

Hey Everyone,

I was reading over this website to help one of my friends who’s husband recently passed away. I’m touched by your comments and wanted to let you know, in the best way that I can, that there is so much to continue on in life for. I have not lost a spouse in the way that you have, but I’ve felt my own share of pain and suffering. With that in mind, if it helps at all for me to say, you will get through the pain and you will find happiness in your life again. Remember the great memories that you have, but know that you are the one who created them. The greatest part about your life is that you have the power to get out of bed, get your day going and start being a part of your life again.

This is a good time to take a trip or start an activity you’ve always wanted to try. Don’t turn to drugs or alcohol to numb yourself, please. I’ve been there and it does not help. Instead, focus on doing things that make you feel exhilarated–that remind you that you are in fact still wonderfully alive. Go for a weekend hiking trip, run a 1/2 marathon, travel to a city you’ve never been to before and treat yourself to a fabulous dinner. The most important thing is to keep yourself going and to be kind to yourself. Also, remember: you are loved.

November 4, 2010 at 10:42 am
(91) Dianne says:

My husband died on July 19, 2010 after a diagnosis on May 21st of stage IV lung cancer. His oncologist gave him 8 months to 1-1/2 years but he only lived 7 weeks. We never really discussed his illness because we believed he would beat it, at least for a year. I feel like I never had closure with him and I’m not sure if he was trying to protect me from what he knew or we were just in denial. I am so deeply distraught and miss him terribly. I try to hide my sorrow but I’m not sure if I can continue to put up this front.

November 5, 2010 at 1:17 am
(92) luis says:

hi im married to a beautiful women and she is so distant in the emotional aspect of our relationship and i cant control my emotions to the point i feel empty she shows no feelings if im crying or does’nt want to talk if im trying to end an arguement she wont be physical with me any more and i cant understand why the point is i love her more than life itself i would do anything for her and all she says is that i should’nt depend on her i should be able to control my emotions when it comes to her and her being distant she’ll go without making love forever and i cant take it anymore i feel empty ifeel dead inside and i dont know what to do death has crossed my mind but i have five kids i love and will do anything for and i know i have a broken heart because not being with her kills me a little each day

November 7, 2010 at 8:50 pm
(93) Carol says:

I lost the love of my life March 12, 2010. Grieving has definitely been a process. I found him dead in his apartment. We had a 16 year relationship. We lived together for five years…then separated. It was my decision because I had a very stressful job and he was out of control. He had health issues and he would not allow me to help him, alcohol issues, anger issues, and aggression. I loved him…he had a big heart in so many ways…not a cheap skate or wanting to take financial advantage of me. But I could not deal with my job and him together. After we separated, we went our separate way for a while. But we starting talking again and our relationship strenghtened and moved to something more mature. He was very sick though, diabetetes with amputation. We remained partners, loving each and deeply caring for each other. About 1 year before he died, he asked me to marry him again. I was not ready for that at that point. Then I started thinking that maybe we could, but I had over the years established a life for myself. I bought a home and had a cat. He wanted to live somewhere else..in a different place. It would mean changing everything. About 2 wks. before he died, I was willing to try again. Then I found him dead. I cry every night because he was the love of my life. He was so giving and thoughtful. No ego…he had no self-confidence, no selfishness. I loved his big heart and I know that no one will ever replace him. I will love him and miss him forever. I will bury his ashes with mine. I’m sorry I disappointed him, he was so lonely and wanted our life together again. We ran out of time. We had love though and not everyone does.

November 8, 2010 at 4:22 pm
(94) Matt says:

You can die from a broken heart worse still live in turmoil with pone. I left my relationship of 16 years as it was not good to be with the woman I love and that has gone wrong too. I also had to resign my job of 17 years as an Intensive care nurse on 40 k per year I now wash dishes in a kitchen for 8 k per year I am treated for depression with maximum treatment but it does not work I do have 2 lovely children so I will not take my own life but I cannot wait to die at 38 my life is done. Marriage, kids next stage is death there is no god just the end and I cannot wait for it I hate bring me and hate this world. I hope never to have another relationship ever again

November 16, 2010 at 2:52 pm
(95) Michael says:

Well people … on the 6th I became deathly ill, ended up in the ER and a hospital stay for 6 days. Seems my system stopped and I was unable to eat or dissipate any more and it caused a rupture. Poison started filling my body but the surgical team said they hit it in time. I’m told I went under after my temperature reached 106.
I’m all right now and realize that I must move on or dwindle stressing of my breakup. She obviously didn’t care so then I realized it is totally over. That’s when the pain of heartache ended and the mind cleared. I am more important to me than to become someone who doesn’t care, memory.

Stay thirsty my friend!

November 20, 2010 at 4:23 am
(96) S.G. says:

It’s been ten months since my ex broke up with me he no longer wants to talk to me. Wen he broke up with me I tried to kill myself. I miss him so much and my heart hurts. I feel as if I can’t go on any more I want to give up am lonely I live alone in la far from my family. And the only person who cared and loved me left me. I feel like I wanna die sometimes I feel so empty with out him. I no longer want to go to law school I have no hope am going to be 24 in a week I wish he was there with me on my birthday I miss him so much

November 22, 2010 at 3:35 pm
(97) Candice says:

My name is Candice and I’m dealing with the lost of my husband. I’m only 25 and he was 29. He died in our bed on Oct 7. He never got out of bed. I didn’t even know he was sick. One moment he was here AND TALKING TO ME and the next GONE! NO warning no alarm no NOTHING…Just GONE!! I’m left to take of our 4 boys alone. 6, 4 and 11 months old identical twins. The holidays are here. The twins first birthday is the same day as Thanksgiving. Then its Christmas and the day after is our 6 years old birthday. Then the day after that is My Birthday. Then its New Years and after that on January 24 is My Husband’s Birthday (I was planning His 30th surprise birthday party!). Then our Anniversary is on Feb. 18. We were gonna be 5 years STRONG. Ive been with him for 7 years. He’s my BEST FRIEND, AN INVOLVED FATHER AND A WONDERFUL HUSBAND! I’M LOST AND I NEED HELP. IF ANYBODY KNOWS ANY GROUPS I CAN JOIN OR NUMBERS I CAN CALL…PLEASE I DON’T BELIEVE IN KILLING MY SELF OR HURTING OTHERS BUT I’M GRIEVING HARD AND DON’T WANNA DIE OF A BROKEN HEART. PLEASE…

November 25, 2010 at 1:59 am
(98) Cher says:

My son, Davey, died three weeks ago, the day before Halloween (his favorite holiday) and three days before his 26th birthday. He was born with cystic fibrosis and went thru a double lung transplant in February of 2008 but after coming down with the swine flu last October, his body began rejecting his new lungs in May 2010. I have had reasons to be depressed and sad before – I’ve been thru a divorce after 18 years of marriage, experienced the death of my father, uncles, aunts, and cousins, had to sell our home after 10 years, relocated to a new county leaving behind many friends, changed careers only to have been laid off two years ago – I could continue but NOTHING has caused me so much pain as losing my child. I have a broken heart that will never heal, and if it were not for my other two children, there would be no reason for me to live. I need to stay strong for them and hope that one day their accomplishments will bring a smile to my face again, but happiness and joy will never be words in my vocabulary again.

November 29, 2010 at 12:31 pm
(99) LDD says:

I lost my best friend, soulmate and lover the day before thanksgiving (5 days ago). I would like to wake up from this bad dream now ….

November 30, 2010 at 6:11 pm
(100) G says:

My girlfriend for 9 years broke up with me on the phone while I was attending my dad’s 70th birthday in Hawaii. She’s in med school so she’s not able to travel. It was supposed to be my happiest day with my dad, playing on the beach and hang out with love ones, but the pain was unbearable. I felt empty and lost. She was my partner and best friend. For 4 weeks now, I wake up with anxiety in the middle of the night. I’ve lost my passion in life. I cry whenever something reminds me of her. Death is worst than a broken heart.

December 3, 2010 at 7:31 am
(101) Saina says:

“my heart is breaking my soul is torn my life my world is crashing around me and i am so alone. god find me help me love me”

this is what i wrote today that led me to this page. i truly do believe that people die of abroken heart because today the pain was so immense iv just been sitting and then begun crying for no reason at all. no thats not true. i am so alone just the thought of it makes me hurt so bad that i think that not only do you die but it is the worst kind of death because you dont get relief for a single second.

i didnt read every signle post here but some were just so heart-breaking…lisa and kathy what has happened to you and how you’re bearing with it all…Allah chose you to be his soldiers of courage that he chose to put you through this. He loves you,me all of us and he says, the pain is unimaginable here but you’ll get a reward so gread in the after life that will gazillion times more unimaginable! Ameen

December 6, 2010 at 1:18 pm
(102) Huffys Girl says:

I am not alone is the reminder I have when I look into the blue eyes of our 5 year old son. I am saddened that I could never call him my husband and today is no different. The love we found together is like no other or that words could never explain. My soul mate left this world on November 20th, he took his last breathe, winked at me and released. I am broken hearted but not alone he and I have a “story” of life together that no one can erase. I am deeply comforted with the fact that his mother left this world three days following his departure. Mother and son reunited as I stay here with our son. I am trying so hard to face new days, a few comments and judgement from other family members unsettle me but I just need to ignore them and go on. I believe that death can be caused by a broken heart, one being so full of love for the other can cause the body to shut down. My deepest sincere prayers are to all those here posting of their loss, it is so hard to come to some word to explain the pain. I want to continue to live, live like there is future happiness awaiting me its hard, very hard. I have to hold my head up, live in the moment and appreciate all those who help me get through this heartache. I know people say its greiving but really some where in my heart I am just greatful to have the chance in this life to find someone who loved me, really loved me!I am me when he was with me, he was himself that was our truest love. That little paper didn’t stop us, our hearts were ONE. He accepted my children who he chose to love and others denied and ridiculed. He started a new life at 47 shared 7 beautiful years with me that filled him more than the first 47. It was short but full like quality not quantity. The freshness will linger the honor and memories will sustain me. I do not have his touch, his hand, his hugs but my heart does have his love! Peace, Health and Love to All!!

December 7, 2010 at 4:47 am
(103) Irene Dodd says:

I feel as though I am literally dying from a broken heart. Gail should be here. She had everything to live for. A warm and loving family, friends, her charity work, a rich and full life. A beautiful son whom she adored and a wonderful husband who adored her. She did so much good and was the most wonderful person. She was loved by all and rightfully so. I just take up space and have caused much pain and heartache. I have never accomplished anything of any worth and I don’t even want to be here anymore but here I am and Gail is gone. It’s so wrong.

December 15, 2010 at 8:18 pm
(104) Alan Shepherd says:

I appreciate the comments left for me, but right now with Christmas almost upon us I feel even more that I should not be here. When my wife died my life as it was ended, I can never forget finding her dead, I have never felt so alone in my life, surrounded by people and yet so alone, please somebody tell me why.

December 18, 2010 at 12:07 am
(105) Mikayla says:

I’m only 15 years old. Yes, I’m young but I have been doing
Tons of research on this stuff. & from what I’ve read
When you have a huge break up and/or arguement
With your spouse your brain actually sends a chemical
To you heart that weakens the heart muscle and that’s
Why it hurts. So yeah, I do believe you can die from your
Heart muscle being too weak or having a heart attack
Because you’re in so much pain. I know how it feels
and I’m terribly sorry to all of you who’ve lost the one
Person you love. It’s a bummer.

December 22, 2010 at 7:36 am
(106) Carly says:

Alan, I will tell you why you feel so alone: it is because you loved your wife so deeply and feel the pain of her not “being there” in your life anymore. There is no one we are closer to or more vulnerable to than we are to our lover. They can make us cry when no one else can. They can make us laugh insanely. Sometimes they make us angrier than we ever thought possible. They care more about us than about themselves. They are a best friend. They love us, even when we don’t love ourselves. Why then wouldn’t you feel lost and alone when someone who means so much to you dies?
I lost my husband of 34 years recently.
As I am writing this I am trembling. The tears flow like a river as each day I relive his last twelve days, like a soldier back from combat reliving his battles. I don’t know how I fall asleep at night. When I awake in the morning I pound the bed with my fists screaming and crying for what he suffered. At the funeral my pastor told me “Peace be with you” but there is no peace for me. At the hospital I felt so ill that I felt I could die too. I wanted to die with him. I still feel that way. I have an ache in the center of my body that doesn’t go away. I think this must be the physical presentation of a “heartache”.
I feel like I am going insane from the pain of losing my husband. I lost my parents and a sibling. But nothing prepared me for the pain of losing my lifelong friend and lover. To say he was my “better half” would be a shortcoming. He was a part of me. A part of me that I can’t get back. So I want to follow him. In time, I will. I laugh and joke with him that he was a handsome 57 year old man when he went and I will probably be a wrinkled up old woman when he sees me again. But knowing him, he’s still watching over me, telling me what a wonderful ride we had together.

I don’t know if any of this helped you, Alan. Perhaps all we can do is vent our feelings. I know that love doesn’t end, even though we say “In death do we part”.

December 22, 2010 at 12:59 pm
(107) Carly says:

P> S> He always said he wanted to go first because he couldn’t bear to lose me. In this respect, I’m glad he got his wish because I wouldn’t want him to have to go through what I’m going through losing him. That’s small consolation.
Thinking of it that way, I know all our loved ones really wouldn’t want us to be so unhappy. My husband used to tell me to find another and marry again if something happened to him. I don’t know if that will ever be possible. But I know we were all put on this earth to love one another. And after reading all these letters, I know I still have that capacity. I understand your pain and I love each and every one of you and hope and pray that we all find the comfort and love we seek. Peace be with us all this blessed season.

December 22, 2010 at 2:18 pm
(108) Carly says:

P. P. S. I realize now that not only did my husband take a part of me when he left, but I also kept a part of him: his enduring love. Helping me to realize this is his gift to me this Christmas.

December 24, 2010 at 12:13 am
(109) R.I.P "Joe Pete" says:

On Nov 7,2010 I lost the love of my life also, he is the love of my life, my bestfriend and my soulmate. we did everything together and now he’s gone. He was so good to me and my family and on this day, a day I’ll never forget he passed while shopping with me and my 2 childern. he died in my arms I did CPR until the EMT came but it was to late he was already gone. I ask god ” why did u let me meet someone so good and take him away so quick”. nothing was wrong with him a “massive heart attack” is what he died from. the pain I fell hurts so deep I can’t explain, I wish one day this will be over, so I drink alcohol all day to ease the pain. but in my dreams we’re together again. I do believe those dreams “good dreams” are sgins that he’s in a better place because we’re happy in them. ” I feel at peace when I wake up but soon after is the pain that I have to live with throught the day that is driving me crazy. sometimes I feel I need medication, at times I don’t know what or how to feel. But my famliy tell me to just pray and I do that. I just fell so alone in a room full of people. in my soul I know God will get us tru this sorrow and pain, all we can do is pray and take it one minute at a time. “Joe” hunnie I can’t wait to see u again I love u sooo much. best wish to everyone in “2011″

December 24, 2010 at 3:53 pm
(110) J M D says:

I have felt like I’ve been dying from a broken heart for the past four months, and the feeling is getting worse each day. I quit my job to move to another state to be with my then boyfriend. But after only a week living with him, he told me that things were not working out and he thought I should move back. A few months earlier while on vacation, he gave me a ring and said he wanted to marry me. I gave up everything to be with him, and I trusted him. I ended up driving 1800 miles back to the state where I was living. But now I have no job and no home, and I am living with my mother. A part of me is mad that I gave my heart and soul to someone, only to have it crushed. Not only have I been in a deep depression for the past few months, it also feels like my heart is going to explode. I live every day like I am having a heart attack. Therapy and antidepressants have not helped this feeling. I sometimes wish I would simply have a heart attack and die, because living like this is no way to live. So yes, I feel as if you can die of a broken heart, because that is where I my life is headed.

December 29, 2010 at 2:18 pm
(111) Alan Shepherd says:

Carly. Thank you so very much for your kind words, there is so much truth in what you say. My wife although she was 12 years younger than me once said ” Don’t you ever die before me “, she was for the last 10 or so years of her life quite ill, she had lots wrong with her and was taking lots of tablets and was forever at the doctors or the hospital, but her medication seemed to have in control. The thought that she was would die before me was out of the question but how wrong I was. Maybe the side effects of her medication was in some way the reason why she was taken from me, I will never know, but early one Monday morning ( 24 of October 2005 ) I found her in the kitchen, she was dead and even had I been able there was nothing I could do.
I still live in the same house now and I can never leave for it would seem that I would break the link that still binds us together. Till death us do part can never be true because my love has not been broken and I am still married to the memory that is my wife. I am a christian man and I believe that we will meet again when my time has come, I thank you Carly because your words and indeed the words of others have helped me in the times when I am down and need lifting back up again, how can I ever thank you enough.

January 1, 2011 at 4:15 am
(112) Leonie says:

me and my boyfriend split up over a month ago now, and i cant seem to get over him. My firends tell me i should forget about him and move on, but i cant seem to do it! Everyday i wake up, wanting to die because i am so lost without him. He doesnt even seem to bothered about it, and it seems to be just me that cant handle it. Im not suicidal or anything but right now i would like to die because it would end the pain for me. Dieing of heart break? Yes. I think it is possible. But somene please help me?

January 11, 2011 at 8:49 pm
(113) Heartbroken says:

Yes, you can die from a broken heart. I almost did. After being unable to get my husband to answer the phone, (which was unusual) I hurried home from work early to check on him. I kept thinking maybe he fell and was hurt or something like that. I found him dead in our bed from an apparent heart attack. He was only 48 years old. He was truly the love of my life. Later that same evening, I began to have trouble breathing. I was taken to the ER where I was actually diagnosed with “Broken Heart Syndrome”. I was unconscious for the next 8 days, on a ventilator and in critical condition. By God’s grace I lived and I’m so thankful that I did because I have two boys, 17 and 11. I miss my husband so completely. I’m frightend by everything and I cry every day. But people, know this – The will of God won’t lead you where the the grace of God can’t keep you. He cares for us all, He truly does and I lean on that belief every day. I wish the same for all you, some confort in your time of need.

My husband passed on Setember 16, 2010. Rest well my love.

January 13, 2011 at 2:15 am
(114) Rachel says:

I don’t honestly know for sure, but i believe it is very possible to die of a broken heart. I wish it were possible it would happen to those to weak to go on without the love of their life. I was with my fiance for 10 years, we share two sons. I am 28 years old with an 8year old son and a 3year old son. I love my boys and know they are the very reason for my exsistence. I somehow just have a hard time wanting to believe or comprehend that idea. You see my fiance and I were soul mates, and he passed away August 27th 2010 only 5 days after his 32nd birthday in a horrible motorcycle accident. I blame myself for many reasons. I loved that man more than he ever knew and he was my everything i have never seen a man so true and full of love for a woman as deeply as he was in love with me. I made many mistakes and never completley made peace with them with him. I worry he didnt forgive me, and seeing as i didnt get that closure or even the ability to tell him i loved him before he left me, i am in constant pain daily. I hate being alone, I hate not feeling him with me, i hate myself for taking advantage of there always being tomorrow and I hate that i couldnt be the one to go.

January 13, 2011 at 12:52 pm
(115) Brian says:

I think it is possible to die from a broken heart. My Wife of 20 years doesn’t want to be with me anymore. We have 2 Children 11 and 7 years old. I found out that she was cheating on me and it’s killing me. We still live in the same house but seperate rooms because we can’t afford a divorce which I don’t want anyway. But she doesn’t even look at or talk to me anymore. If it weren’t for the kids I would probably be dead by now. I live for them now.

January 14, 2011 at 9:04 pm
(116) Broken says:

A broken heart? Yes. I guess you don’t realize how many people around you are hurting. It seems as if the only thing you feel in life is the hurt you yourself feels. I keep telling myself that there are much worse things than my “problem”. But, no matter what you tell yourself it is still there. What a struggle to go through life in such a manner. Hanging on by a thread. I’m Christian and I understand all the biblical takes on “suffering” but it doesn’t make it easier. I can honestly say though that God has wrapped His arms of love around me in moments of my severity. It doesn’t erase my questions nor does it erase pain nor lighten it nor can I always say I look forward in faith for I am only human and feel just as others the hurt in my very depths. Can’t say I haven’t been down the road of wanting my life to end, for I have wanted that. I guess enduring to the end is a more perfect way of “moving forward”. All I am saying is God has loved me very much in my brokeness because He is the only one I feel has kept me. Somehow I always feel better after such an encounter of brokeness with God – finding that quiet place of rest in Him, I can’t explain it. But I do know that God has been very real in those moments. This IS NOT some “come to the Lord and be saved” thing – I am just simply saying, let God wrap His arms of love around you and hold you while you hurt. You don’t have to be Christian nor have to be any part of any church for God to do that. God will love you in your hurt. Just ask Him to and you will feel Him there with you because I have.

January 15, 2011 at 12:31 pm
(117) J'sgirl says:

My beautiful husband died 5 weeks ago, and I yearn for him terribly. I miss his laugh, him teasing me, our arguements, I miss evething that this great man was.

He was diagnosed late with an agressive form of cancer and died within two months. He was only 42.

We had been together 17 years, and today, my life without him is meaningless. Im 31 years old, and we were working on creating a nice future for each other and starting a family. Now, I have nothing. The pain of not having my husband is so unbearable. My body feels mutilated. I cant comprehend why this happened.

I hate hearing people say, “just give it time,” or “you’ll find someone else, you’re young.” Is that what happens when people die? They are forgotten with time & everyone else moves on, and its like our loved ones never existed?

I certainly hope that i’m not around to find out. My husband was my rock and my inspiration for living, and I told him that throghout our life together, and not having him here truly feels like I already died as well. Im a walking body without any feelings behind it.

I miss him terribly, my entire body aches for him, and my heart was ripped out of my chest.

I pray to the Lord to take me out of this misery, and reunite me with my husband. Being reunited w/him is the only thing that gives
me hope.

January 15, 2011 at 7:30 pm
(118) LA girl says:

J’sgirl: I feel for you and all the others. True there is nothing and I know nothing worse that death of a loved one. I still grieve after almost 4 years. I have gone to a psychiartrist, taken anti depressants. No, the person never does stop existing and they will always be with you in heart and mind. People used to tell me it will bet better and take time. God I would get so annoyed with that. So the way I can put it is sometimes it gets worse in one way and better in another. It gets better cause you get to a point where you are not crying every second of the day or every day. You do not forget them but it just becomes more bearable. It gets worse because it is that much more time since you heard their voice, hugged or saw them. It makes you angry that so much time goes by without them. But you will survive and don’t listen to those people you will find someone else. Don’t think that far ahead. If that is meant to happen it will. Try your best to stay busy, get out of the house, go to support group, therapy, anti depressants, whatever you can do to help yourself. Try to take care of yourself because your loved one would not want you to get sick either! Stay well and best to you.

January 16, 2011 at 1:29 pm
(119) alan Shepherd says:

J’sgirl
I know where your coming from, I and many more on this site have been there, stay strong and live one day at a time.
Time will heal the way you feel, you will never forget the moment and I don’t think you ever should forget, it is the memory of what you had that will make you stronger. I will pray for you and that the pain will ease, but just focus on today and each day as it comes along, remember what you had and let time do the rest.

January 16, 2011 at 9:01 pm
(120) J'sgirl says:

Thank you for your well wishes at such a difficult time for me.

January 18, 2011 at 4:30 pm
(121) Nikki says:

One week ago today my boyfriend of almost 4 months died. He wasn’t my longest relationship ever, but it was the most intense love filled relationship I’d ever seen. He was only 26. I received a phone call from his older brother last Tuesday telling me that he’d died of a heart attack. I had just seen him Sunday and he’d gotten the flu and sent me home despite wanting to take care of him. I’m still grieving heavily. I have frequent panic attacks that I’d never had before. It feels like someone is squeezing my heart and twisting my stomach. I cry every day. He was the best person I’d ever known and he touched so many hearts in his short lifetime.
He told me we’d always be together.
I told him of how my grandparents had died one after the other and how I knew it was my grandfather who’d died of a broken heart.
He told me he had always wanted a love like that and he knew he had it with me.
His brother thanked me for making his life happy again because he’d always seen him depressed for a few years… until I came along and made him smile again.
I thank God he died with happiness in his life… but now… I know I’m young… but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to find such an intense love… or if I ever want to. I just want to be with him so badly. He was the one. He was far too young and special…
I try to keep myself distracted with happy things. I try to eat but food isn’t fulfilling. I wake up expecting to hear his ringtone because he always called me as soon as he woke up… I can barely sleep because he’d always call me right before bed… I go to work and I’m practically comatose until the tears hit and I hide myself away from customers as long as I can. I get those pains in my chest… and I just wish to be taken away so I can be with him. I really don’t feel there is anything left for me here without him.

January 21, 2011 at 1:50 am
(122) melissa says:

My fiance passed away November 7, 2010 from a heart attack. He was only 21. We were suppose to get married in June 2010 but we postponed it because of fiancial reasons. I wish we did get married that day becauase maybe i would have a little gift from him in me. But we didnt and I miss him so much. I blame myself everyday because i feel like i could have done something to prevent this. That morning his stomach hurt and i didnt realize that stomach pain could be a symptom of a heart attack. I want to be with him again so bad. I miss his laughter. He is the love of my life. He is the only one who has ever cared for me and loved me. I just want to be with him so bad. I pray to god everyday to have him take me. There is nothing left for me here. Yes i have thought about suicide but i know i cant because i know that if i do then i wont be going to heaven which is where he is. I know he is there. I need to be with him again. I need to feel whole again. i feel so empty inside. He is my soulmate and i cant wait to hear that laughter again. I will love him forever.

January 28, 2011 at 10:09 am
(123) kyle says:

My Angel of 12+ years left me while I was in combat. It is all my fault for all of the pain I have caused her. I love and care for her and her children but they want me not around anymore and I doubt they even love me anymore. The pain of a broken heart is unbearable. I hate being around people, doing things, and even watching the world. I can’t watch television shows we used to watch, listen to music we used to enjoy. I have never loved someone as I love her and I do not want to be anymore without her. Others can come and go but my Angel was all that will ever matter to me.
It is all my fault and I can never fix it. I pray that she and her children have the happiest and most blessed life that God can pour down to them. I will love them forever. Thank you for letting me post this. I am so sorry for all of the pain I have caused.

January 30, 2011 at 2:41 am
(124) Celia says:

My mother killed herself.
My brother was murdered.
My aunty and uncle both abused me.
My friend is dying from illness.
And recently this boy, who I REALLY love, told me he doesn’t like me and is dating someone else.

I’m severely depressed and attempt suicide sometimes because I CANNOT stand this reality. Being dead sounds like relief compared to these daily pains and I just wanna die already. Life blows.

Sincerest condolences to everyone else in this thread as you deserve your loved ones back. Thankfully I’m not alone in this world. Everyone needs somebody to be there.

Can one die from a broken heart? ABSOLUTELY.

January 30, 2011 at 3:58 am
(125) BrokenAngel says:

I feel like it’s just a matter of time before my heart stops beating. The love of my life left me a year ago. He Started being with someone else a month after. He was my other half, everything. I’d known him since I was 8. I see them together sometimes but he doesn’t know it, i hide when I run into them. My heart actually physically hurts more than I could ever imagine. I want to stop breathing so it stops hurting. He had an engagement ring for me that his friend accidentally told me about when he was drunk, then I saw the box by accident but never opened it. He was life to me, every heartbeat was for him. And now I just feel dead. I don’t know what to do. What is so wrong about me he had to leave me. I need mercy on my heart and soul. We were together for six years, but in love for 10 before that, we could never get together because he was too close friends with my family. But we just had to be together, and now. I’m alone.

January 30, 2011 at 6:12 am
(126) Iris says:

I’m almost 20 and never had a boyfriend because I’m fat, ugly and no-one wants me.
I’m better off dead.

February 1, 2011 at 8:48 am
(127) Eric says:

Hi Broken Angel. My only love left me last night, its not even a cold winter where I am but I’ve never felt so cold. For 6 years since I was 17 I have been with her. We moved into an apartment together and even talked about marriage and children. Sad to say but I know its true since it was my fault.
I’m an ah.
You know that feeling you get when someone who truely loves you says your name? I dont even hear it in her voice anymore!!! I can’t stop crying!!!!!! it just hurts so much i can hardly take it and would give anything, absolutely anything, just to give her a hug again. I want to cry myself to sleep and then never wake up…

February 3, 2011 at 4:41 am
(128) Anonymous says:

Its been almost a month since my boyfriends passing. And my heart aches when Im alone. I wake up crying when i have dreams about him. I still can’t believe hes gone. All i wanna do all day is sleep, sleep my life away. I honestly do feel I’d be better off dead than alive, i just want to be with him. I’m so afraid to move on, it kills me having to think that he will always be 22. He was 1 year 1 month 1 day older than me exactly. I always thought that was something special about us. And it kills me whenever i talk about him cause its always in past tense now. He was my future, my everything. It hurts to even picture him alive smiling at me. RIght now i just want to forget everything cause it hurts so much, and at the same time im scared ill forget everything we shared just cause the passing of time. I feel like i can’t win with this, its so hard to let go. Its even hard to consider myself single. We had so much planned for this year we were looking forward to it. Now i have nothing to look forward to, everything just hurts.

February 3, 2011 at 7:53 am
(129) jean says:

i lost my husband 9 months ago and it has been very hard if you tell someone how your feeling that you dont want to live any more they will put you in a mental institution it is not nice in there you have to keep your feelings of death to yourself unless you would like to be in a mental institution.i took some pills to fall asleep because my inlaws jumped me at his grave and said they hated me and wanted me to leave so i went home hurting for what they did and told me i took pills to go to sleep and be with my husband i also hate life but will no longer tell anyone

February 6, 2011 at 3:48 am
(130) Broken Angel says:

Eric, we should talk. I know how bad you’re feeling. I can’t get over my ex and it’s killing me and I’m sick of talking to those around me and them not understanding at all.

February 7, 2011 at 9:20 pm
(131) Sheryl Ray says:

I Am Getting Sick Because Of My Sisters Attitude Towards Me And Other Mentally Ill People & Clinics! It Is Really Breaking My Heart Because Of Her Attitude I Now Have Breast Cancer,Blood In My Stool,& Leaky Kidneys! I Feel Because Of Her!

February 8, 2011 at 2:31 pm
(132) Jason says:

I feel like I’m dying of a broken heart, and it’s over a girl who I only went out with few times. I’ve been married and divorced, and lost my mom to cancer last year, and none of this comes close to the pain I now feel every day.

Every night I can feel my heart beating funny, like it’s going to stop, but it doesn’t. I still wake up in the morning. Every time I remember the wonderful, giddy, times we had so very briefly I just start sobbing. My ears ring all the time, I’m dizzy a lot, my hands and feet tingle. I never thought it was possible to experience this much pain.

I feel confident that my heart will finally stop one of these nights. I hope it happens soon!

February 8, 2011 at 5:35 pm
(133) Thomas says:

I too am just entering into a shocking fast divorce from the lady of my life. I understand loss and the grieving process oh-to-well as I have been through 3 deaths in my family and 2 divorces over the past 10 years. Sadly, I have adjusted quite well to these losses …. but not this one. If my current wife cut herself, I would bleed. We truly, I mean truly were of one soul. I realize that is said thousands of times, and understand many people are lucky to feel this way, but until now, I never thought it was anything more than a fairy tale. Here is my question to all of you …. how do one of us get in physical touch with another who is experiencing the same things? I know “help groups and social/church groups” are “out there”, but really I personally would like to meet one or two people (man or woman) experiencing a recent marriage breakup like my own without having to physically throw myself into a shark pit of others while we filter out of similarities. I know the risk or doing this my way. I am in the military and at Bolling AFB, near Alexandria, VA. I would like to chat through email. I am a Major in the air force and a good listener. I think it would be nice for both of us to hear one other’s stories of loss in person.
Thanks!

Tom

February 11, 2011 at 10:13 pm
(134) Julie says:

My Fiance broke up with me 3 weeks ago.. Im dying inside me.. He is from Texas, im from Canada. I was supposed to move there in 1 month and get married. And suddenly he just gave up without explanation. Some hours before he throw me away, he was telling me that i was his soul and heart, broking up was not an option, he begged me for staying with him, he coulnd deal with the fact i wanted maybe to take a break cause he was yelling at me all the time because he was stress for the money and me moving there. I dont understand, i don’t and its killing me.. How can i survive without him, he was everything for me. Everyday he was teling how much he loved me. I flight there the day after he broke up with me and he just said he didnt want to take the risk for his daughter to him and i get divorce in 2 year. When you decide to be with someone, you take a risk no? And his daughter i was loving like my own, never i would hurt her. Money, his parents are rich and they were paying for everything and he said to me that his parents was about to cut him off. Prolly his parents just pushed him to choose between him and them? i will never have answers i know.. When i flight there he was so cold, so hard with me. How can you just gave up like that without tryin? He broke my heart forever. Some hours before he leave me, he was saying, i want you down here, i want a family, i love you… so why he did that? WHY? He proposed me to be his wife, he started the immigration papers to be together with at the end he just gave up? We had some fights, yes, cause we were not together, far away, but we were together it was perfect. Im pregnant right now, he is the dad and he dont talk to me, he just ignored me.. i was thinking i knew him.. no.. not at all… I want to die, i want to just never wake up.. he broke my heart and never never i will find again someone like that.. i miss him and i love him.. and him.. he just forget me already… he moved on.. i can’t.. i can’t live right now.. sigh..

February 17, 2011 at 6:51 am
(135) Elizabeth says:

someone I love died and I want to die too D:

February 17, 2011 at 12:09 pm
(136) Brokenhearted man says:

My Girlfriend of 5 years just passed away about a month ago..she was only 23..got a good job..amazing future…Were just about to get married

I am very very sad..and just like all of you..i dont know how to cope with this..I try to sleep it over..try to think that she wanted the best for me and wanted me to keep on moving..

But i cant do it..i just cant..i quitted my job..i thought whats the point of me working when i dont have her to share them with..now i just locked myself in my room desperatelly struggling to not kill myself..

We may’ve just been together for 5 years..but i gave my all for her in those 5 years..i never expected this to happen..ive never been in love before..she was my first and she’ll be my last love

How do you this..how do we move on..i pray to God..so that God would take my life..whats the point of living..without her smile..her hugs
She was the perfect person for me..and i cant live without her

She was so kind and forgiving…
I love her so much..yet i disappointed her so many times before, i get mad at her..so many times

In the end she didnt even want to see me..
Im sorry im so sorry..im sorry

February 18, 2011 at 5:08 pm
(137) soen says:

i thought because i took a bunch of medicine and drank alot of liquor yesterday i would die and be with my babr. gabe died on new years eve from an accidental overdose. he struggled with chronic pain and ptsd from being in the war and being injured. i woke up heard my baby snoring that morning thinking he was sleep to come back a few hours later and he died. i have been in a mental faciliy for suicidal thoughts. i gave up my apt my job my everything. i wanted to die on valentines day but i didnt i hate waking up and it happens everyday. i cany kill myself for one he was against it and two i might not see him again. but i pray god taked me even know as i write this. i am confused on the whole matter of life after death i was raised christian but now i think of reincarnation and i dont believe in hell after death because im living hell now i believe i guess in the afterlifr and love will get us there. i know and so does his family i gave him love in the 9mths we were together he was so happy with me he said i was his rib and tattooed my name on his right rib he had the key to my heart and was my heart i tatted him there. he propsed to me the night before he passed because he knew it was it for us we were to be forever. if there is a such of dying from a broken heart i want it to happen now god please take me take me take me now i want to be with my baby gabriel my angel i miss and love you

February 21, 2011 at 10:02 pm
(138) Christy says:

I just lost my husband, young, and I’m so lost it’s unreal. He was 41 and got meningitis and died 3 weeks later. Dec 9,2010. Im trying to read some material to help me, but nothing seems to help. I have this phrase in my mind and I soon as I think it, I think, “no i don’t mean that.” but the phrase i think is “I wanna die”. Ive lost the best part of me and don;t know what to do. So, yes I beginning to think you can die from a broken heart.

February 23, 2011 at 5:01 am
(139) D says:

I lost my precious husband and soul mate to kidney cancer two days ago. I feel like my future is a large, black, empty hole. Even though I have family and friends who love me and care, I just don’t see the point in going on without him. He was part of me. Life seems intolerable without him. He loved me so much. We shared everything together. If I had a stressful day at work, a family problem, a health problem, I knew he was there for me to talk to, to go with me to a doctor’s appointment, to help me cope and heal, just to care and to love me. We had so many private jokes, ways of communicating that no one else understood.

Now I don’t have him any more. Everything I see, and everywhere I go reminds me of him. I don’t know how I can ever have any hope or joy again, I just want him back with me. Or I want to go be with him. I don’t know what I’m going to do or how I’m going to get through the upcoming days, months, years. I don’t even want to do it.

I woke up and couldn’t sleep, started looking online for some kind of comfort or way to cope. But reading the comments here, it sounds like there’s no hope and that the pain will never end, and I am desperate for some kind of comfort. God help me, I just don’t know if I can go on.

March 5, 2011 at 1:35 am
(140) jillian white says:

These posts show that grief and pain is something humans share. My husband died of a sudden and totally unexpected heart-attack in February last year. He was my best friend, my lover, my soulmate. I looked forward everyday to him coming home, and my heart still, after 32 years – almost, skipped a beat when I saw him unexpectedly. At parties I’d watch him across the room and feel so proud and happy to be his wife. He was a beautiful man, intelligent, generous, gentle, funny and a lovely musician. He was a devoted Dad, an admired workmate and he was passionate about everything he did. Not long before he died he said he thought I was fantastic. I thought he was fantastic, not me. Now I hang onto that, and am determined to live up to being the best I can be for him. What has helped me get through this hideous pain of losing him – just not having him here in the flesh to look at and laugh with, and everything else – what has helped is imagining how I’d want him to live his life if I had died. Of course I’d want him to suffer and bleed too, because this is normal, this is what great love, and loss and grieving is all about. I’d understand that he might want to die too. But I’d want him to get through the sleepless nights, the not eating, the anxious fretful days, and I would want to see him doing something worthwhile with his life. I’d want to see him being strong and passionate about projects, like he normally was. I would understand if he married again, but I’d prefer him not to rush off into the arms of another woman because he was too weak to cope alone. The bottom line is that our loved ones are only on loan to us, and its a bastard when they are recalled early! I am not going to be a burden on anyone, and I am going to be strong and laugh and make him proud of me. But it is a rough and hard journey, and it is hard to maintain my determination, and tears break through easily and often, even after 12 months. But IT DOES GET EASIER.
Jillian

March 7, 2011 at 3:14 am
(141) Princess says:

YES, Broken heart is not only happen between couple but alright with other deep relationship. you can feel that your heart is extremely pulling out of your chest and you will have a diffeculty breathe and if you are also crying that will really make your heart beat faster and harder.

March 8, 2011 at 3:14 am
(142) voyager says:

I found this site by accident. I was wondering if a person could die of a ‘broken heart’. My husband, best friend, partner, other half, passed away one month ago and I am close to crying almost all of the time. We were together for over 50 years, married for almost 49 years. I hear a song, read something, hear something, everything reminds me of our time together.

He had a massive stroke in the early hours one morning and I was with him. After a short hospital stay, the doctors suggested that I take my precious love home. I did and a week later he took his final breath. That week was horrific. He had never wanted to be on life support and to watch hims slowly fade away was miserable and I felt so helpless.

One of our sons and his family was here and the youngest was on his way from out of state when their Dad passed away. We have all been so full of grief and try to help one another. But now I am alone in our home and find it so difficult to carry on. Because my love had Alzheimer’s also, I had been with him 24/7 for over 2 years as his caregiver. It is too quiet here so I leave the television on all of the time. Even at night while I try to sleep. Sleep? Hardly at all. I hate the night time now. My heart aches continually and I am lost. Broken hearted? Yes, I am and I know that I must be more in control. But I find it so difficult. I do wish the best for all who are grieving.

March 10, 2011 at 11:32 pm
(143) Melissa says:

I cant find words..i miss you sherry,god take this from me.

March 13, 2011 at 7:39 am
(144) D says:

Well, it looks like a lot of us are in the same boat, but would love to see some comments on how to deal with this–on how to feel like you want to go on living. I guess I’m looking for some kind of unique, magic statement that will make everything seem ok and give me the motivation to live my life. The comments about getting out and meeting people, giving it time, allowing God to be your comfort–they don’t seem to cut it. I don’t want to do those things, I just want my husband back, or I want to go be with him. When I’m alone, I just want to lie on the couch and think about him. I can’t get myself to do anything other than what I have to do–work and the grocery store, taking care of legal and financial things that are overwhelming me with stress. When I’m around people, I can go through the motions of seeming ok, but the second they leave, the avalanche of emptiness, loneliness and purposeless descends. If it takes years to feel better, I don’t know if I can wait that long. We were everything to each other, and I feel like part of me has been cut off.

I do believe in God and have been close to Him in the past, but right now, I’m feeling it hard to pray. I don’t feel that my prayers are getting any further than the inside of my grieving heart. They seem to fall flat.

We all need some practical advice here, but I don’t know that there is any to give.

March 13, 2011 at 11:40 am
(145) Broken says:

Yes it is possible to die from a broken heart and in a few months I will be proof. God bless all those suffering.

March 18, 2011 at 10:30 pm
(146) misery says:

I just finished emailing this jerk my every emotion and the only way I wanted to stop was to just kill myself but I thought abt my parents and stopped. I’ve been reading a lot of comments on hear and I really wish I cud talk to someone from here thru email or something. I isolated myself from a lot of ppl and the only two ppl I talk to abt it have heard enough. Sometimes ppl who aren’t depressed dt wanna hear it from someone who is so I bottle it up and try to manage getting thru the day.

My story is a little different in that I was in a sexual relationship with someone I worked with and he lied to me about being married then when I found out he told me that he already told me and he knew he didn’t cause I wuda never messed with him. He then said he was seperated so I left it alone and we kept connecting and later on when he started getting distant and started talking bad abt me to coworkers I investigated and found out from his wife that they are very much still together but she too knew of his infidelities.

March 18, 2011 at 10:34 pm
(147) misery says:

He was also messing with other women on the job particular that he seemed to show how much he cared abt her. So I started to feel insecure. Everyone looked at me like I was a fool cause they knew I was the hidden secret and still dealt with him even tho he was interested in someone else. He told me I was the only one he was sleeping with and even tho I knew it wasn’t true I tried my best to believe him. Sometime later I go to the gyn and find out I got an std. He denied it but then eventually kinda sorta confessed. I started seeing other ppl and for awhile he was harrassing me at work outside of work abt me being with other men so me with my low self esteem I thought that meant he cared.

The story gets worst as he calls me a ho and kept talking abt me like a dog to coworkers. Eventually he stopped some things kinda went crazy and he falsy pressed sexual harrassment charges on me after he found out me and his wife talked. We didn’t have sex for awhile and then he started coming back around and me like a fool took him back. We didn’t see each other as much…mayb once a month. He started pursuing another girl at work in my face everyday. He told me a long time ago he was waiting on his divorce to come thru so we cud be together. I believed every lie. I told him I loved him…had him stay at my house a couple of times a week. I gave him money, cooked for him and everything. We have been sleeping with each other for 2 1/2 yrs. Idk how to live. I ct get him outta my head. Idk why I’m nt good enough. Dt know why I want him to want me. I feel so ugly and stupid. I just want to end it all. No more pain.

March 18, 2011 at 10:46 pm
(148) misery says:

I wrote a lot more but want enough rm. He gave me an std lied abt it then eventually confessed. He went on having relationships in my face at work. I got fired cause I cudnt take it anymore. He took away everything from me that made me feel like woman. I keep wondering why I’m nt good enough and wonder why I care. I ct get him out of my head and we still sleep together. 2 1/2 yrs of the same and I want to die a little more each day. I feel so stupid an ugly cause I believed him when he said he wanted to marry me I believed when he said I was the only one. I just wanna die

March 19, 2011 at 5:11 am
(149) Sheri says:

To Misery and others who want to die, I encourage you to call the suicide hot line 1-800-784-2433 or 1-800-273-8255 and talk to someone right away.

Here is a web site that lists other hotline numbers in the U.S. and around the world: http://hopeline.com/ries.asp

I am so sorry you all are hurting right now. It is so difficult for those of us who are reading your posts to know how to help you. We can’t see you or talk to you; we can only let you know that you are not alone, and that there are people in your life and available on hotlines who care about you and who can help you to work through this.

Please reach out to them.

Sheri

March 29, 2011 at 2:45 pm
(150) Veronica says:

Hi, I know of pain that is eating your life away. My husband got sick in April 2007, he had a stroke and our life has been changed from then. now I have to support us and sometimes the pain of seeing him this way wants to eat through my heart. We are married now for allmost 30 years. people ask me many times why I am still with him, do I love him still and why don’t I leave him in the home that he is staying. I love him more than I can describe. The pain that went through me sometimes when I least expect it is thremendouis. I have no one to talk to, nowhere to go, a friend got me a job close to my husband but the person who must pay me for my work does not pay at once. we get our pay bits by bits. I have to stay with my friends at there house. now they as #k me when I will be moving out. At this point I am so stressed out that I don’t know where to go. I feel hopeless and alone. I wish for my love to die so this pain can go away.

April 14, 2011 at 2:14 pm
(151) Annie says:

My story isn’t any different from what I’ve read so many times now. I think, it is the 1rst time I actually can write about it… My fianceť and I met in July 2007. While I was still just about getting over my own grief after my father passed away (complicated relationship with him too), I think it I fell for him right away. I moved in with him shortly after and since then we were unseparatable. We did everything together… I thought it was hard to stay away from him, when he had to move to another country for work, I never realised, that one day he will move away from me forever. He was a healthy person and exercised enough but I think he never took it seriously when it came down to go and see a GP because there is a family history with high cholesterol and blood pressure.
…one day,during his lunch time, we went out running and suddenly he stopped, saying, he feels dizzy. Like he would be drunk or something. Neverless he continued jogging. He went to work but didn’t stay long. When he was home, he said there was something terribly wrong and that I should keep an eye on him. I did… but didn’t do enough. I should have taken him to hospital. We agreed to see a doctor in the morning but morning came very early.. he had a stroke ,in his bed, while a sleep. I remember the moment when he sat up, confused and his right side was paralized. nor he could talk. Ambulance came quickly, but it took time ’till he got to the hospital. They did MRI (i think it’s what its called) and found nothing. They said, it would be done again after 24hrs but it never happened. The next scan was on Monday.. and that is when they found a blood clot in his right artery to brain. Considering the circumstances, he was doing well up ’til Monday and we had great hopes for him. That he would come out.. however, on the night of Monday to Tuesday, he had another stroke…. and he passed away the following day. ..on the 15th of march… just 10 days before his birthday.

April 14, 2011 at 2:16 pm
(152) Annie says:

..I won’t be repeating things what has been said above.. but I too feel i want to go after him. I actually tried, but I couldn’t.. I couldn’t do it. I’m here now and everything goes through my head.. he promised not to leave me.. but he did. He too was my only best of the best friends and my soul mate.. he was something you would find and never let go. I am with a guilt, that I should have seen it when it happend.. that I could have been better and so much more. We were to get married that summer but we postponed it due to many things happening at the same time.. and now I’ve been left is regrets. How am I meant to go on?? How anyones is meant to go on?! i keep thinking, that he could have been saved!!! He was just 35!!! He had everything starting to go well, his career, his life… and then.. all for nothing!!! I love him soo much and miss him terribly. I can’t see my life without him. I know what I must do.. but it’s not necessesirly something I want to do. I wish I could be with him, wherever he is but realise, I’m not wanted there..just yet. I’m not a religious person, but for once I pray for that place to be true, that all the pain will be rewarded once and all the tears.. for all I want, is too see him again.

April 14, 2011 at 2:34 pm
(153) Annie says:

.. I also hope that everone who feels the very same pain, would find some comfort in their lives. The pain we share is something you wouldn’t want to wish to your worse enemy. I have his family around me and they are the best. Even though I feel like walls are closing in, I try and see a counsellor. I shall try my best and so should you all… if that helps at all. .. they also say you need to take time to grieve… you too should try… no promises, just day by day. That is all we have…

April 17, 2011 at 1:14 am
(154) chelle says:

My ex husbands grandma died on a Sunday her son my ex’s dad had a heart attack the next day and died on Tuesday.

My fiance and father of our 9 month old baby died almost 25 yrs ago. It still hurts to this day and I remember him everytime I have a bad day. I have begged god for years to take me why didn’t he take me. Our daughter would have been better with him…. I had my adoptive father (my mothers second husband) and my bio dad and my exhusband die last year. My boyfriend and I broke up 2 days after the last funeral. Life seems to have little meaning anymore my kids are grown. On March 30th I tried taking my own life and almost succeeded. I spent 2 weeks in the hospital and still find myself asking god why did you save me. The part that hurts the most is that any friends I felt like I had are all gone now and if it wasn’t for the hand full of people that I truly hurt, I would do it right again in a minute. My heart races so fast sometimes that I feel like I can’t breathe perhaps someday it will just give up…….

April 26, 2011 at 4:45 pm
(155) jordan says:

i lost the girl i so dearly loved, we were together for two years, not as long as half the people iv read on this page, but i just see life as a torture, nothing pleasent about it, war famine death plague heartache, i just want out now, i just wanted to love her and be loved back, now i love her and there non in return, iv been cutting my self severly since it happend and now i just want out of this prison we call life. i think of her daily and i cant even go on to finish this with out crying, i dont want help to stop me from killing my self…i want to do it

April 29, 2011 at 4:02 am
(156) Heather says:

I lost my fiance last month. He died right outside my front door. I spent at least 10 minutes giving him CPR, as did the paramedics when they arrived. I screamed, cried, begged him to stay with me. I am crushed. I have been through a 10 yr marriage, ending in my ex husband walking out on me with nothing but a note & a two week warning time(never said a word before that). I spent years grieving that marriage, the only thing keeping me alive was the love I have for my son. The next relationship, a good friend-passed away a little over 9 months later from cancer. This was supposed to be my best and last relationship. He was everything I wanted & needed. A better man I have not met. He taught me so much in the 4 years we were together-1st as best friends, then lovers. I miss him so much I can’t seem to even do the most mundane tasks in my daily life. He was disabled, & I knew eventually it could happen, but this was so sudden & unexpected. I had finally found my soul mate & was so thankful for him. How do u go on after that? I can’t even begin to think about trying again at anytime in the future. My heart has so many holes im not sure if there is anything left.. I definitely feel like I could die from a broken heart. I will not be selfish & end my own life or even wish for it because I know my son needs me, however I still can’t help but wonder if it is possible to die from a broken heart?…

April 29, 2011 at 7:03 pm
(157) hrm says:

im so sick of pple that say that they were toghether for 20 or 30 or 40 years together, and now that their loved one passed away they suffer from a broken heart, and dont wanna live ..YOU SUCK!!! GET OVER YOUSELF!!!!!, a least t you had a chance to love and be loved for 40 years, 40 effin years!!!!!, i would do anything just to have that for three of four, as i was only able to have it for a year, ive been feeling the way you feel now my entire life…

May 1, 2011 at 6:13 am
(158) Heather says:

Wow, HRM. Really? This is supposed to be a place where u can read & post knowing that you are not alone. No one belfries your heartache. It doesn’t matter how long or short your love was. Why would anyone say such things. Obviously you were hurting enough to find this site. Maybe try a little compassion for all of us. I’m sorry you had so little time with your loved one. I feel for you, but I can’t understand why this had to be about who is hurting MORE. We all miss our loved ones. Personally I found it very helpful to hear other peoples stories. I pray you find peace in your heart. Read what you said & ask yourself; is it really your place to say that we all suck & to get over ourselves? How cruel can you be? I don’t even know you & I want to apologize to everyone that bared their hearts here to be treated with such little respect or compassion. If you’re that angry maybe you should be searchig for an anger management website instead. I hope you get help. I wish you luck in finding the love back in your heart..I’m sure it’s still there somewhere in there.

May 1, 2011 at 12:50 pm
(159) Duane says:

Hi I am Duane one of surffering from heartache,me and my girlfriend we stand this relationship for about 2 years and sometimes we argue,I know it’s hard for me to deal with her because i really love her and she’s the only one in my heart,Then our situations is hard tho because were in a long distance relationship and only our love,trust and communications who made our relationship more stronger but On this April 23,2011..I broke up with her because i caught her that she have relationship with her EX Boyfriend again..She did this to me before but i forgive her,now i give her a time to pick who she want to choose in her life..if her EX or ME..now she Pick me because she really love..and i cant live tho without her..but until now..those pain is still in my heart and i can still feel it..it’s hard for me to forget but im trying my best to forget those pain! in your opinion? do u think i can still trust her?

May 5, 2011 at 9:16 pm
(160) heart broken says:

i am 23 years old i have a 1 year old daughter and her dad you i loved very much and still do broke up with me when she was only 3 months. ever since then i havent been the same im always sad and i miss him very much, i have trouble sleeping at night cause all i think of is him, at times i do have trouble breathing hes seen me have trouble a few times. i been stressed with every thing and i just get tired of every one and i get really annoyed easily. sometimes i just wish something else can take this pain away. is it still possible for me to die of a broken heart?

May 11, 2011 at 2:08 pm
(161) Glen says:

My mother died last saturday and I’ve lost the will to live. I’ve lost interest in food, relationships. fighting,I don’t mean with fists. I reckon I;ll be dead in 6 months,

May 12, 2011 at 2:16 pm
(162) Glen says:

I’ve lost partners. One through death and rejection. 8 Years ago I was supposed to be married and it didn’t work out! That’s another story. I was depressed for a year in both cases. But I’ll tell you this they don’t compare to the death of my mother for me personally. It’s the worst, severest, strongest pain I’ve ever felt and would give 10 0ut of 10. I know grief is an emotion not a sport but I’m in more danger from this than any other depression I’ve felt.

Old people who’ve lost a spouse the other spouse has been known to die within days. However, not always, the longest is 6 months. To will yourself to die can even take 24 hours if you had the patience.

As for suicide! Remembere the song Suicide Is Painless from the movie MASH? By no means is it painless! Far from it! An overdose you don’t die peacefully in your sleep you die in agony of kidney failure. Drowning you freeze and suffocate. Falling and shooting hurt like hell! Stabbing yourself is near impossible. Starving yourself to death you suffer. Because I’m in danger of that because I haven’t eaten for 5 days. I haven’t chosen to go on hunger strike it’s that I’ve lost my appetite.

My mother wasn’t getting any better if she’d have lived she’d have ended up in a wheelchair for the rest of her life because she lost the use of her legs without accident. She was 80.

If I don’t die of starvation the stress hormones will kill me.

May 14, 2011 at 1:26 am
(163) Dee says:

I have been reading these posts, and so many are just how I feel. Lost my husband of 24 yrs together 25 Nov 18 , 2010 at 9:57 am he woke up early said he did not feel good I took him to the hospital we were talking and joking around never even entered my mind that he would not make it. My heart literally hurts daily, it has been almost 6 months and I am functioning but when I am by myself I just want to crawl in a hole and die. I can’t I have two children (grown) but I know that they need me and my passing would not help but if I could just hear my husbands voice have him in bed with me again. I know I can’t but maybe then the pain would go away. People tell me I am young and will need to get on with my life, but my husband and I were never separated we did everything together. There will never be another like him. I dont think the pain will ever go away. Everyone says I am strong, I am not I just put all my faith in the LORD and know he must have needed him more, I don’t understand why. I just know that I will always love and miss my husband and I will welcome the time for me to leave to be with him.

May 16, 2011 at 1:29 pm
(164) katrina kennedy says:

My tears are endless, there is only static in my mind. I am walking through a haze, my body is lying somewhere far behind. There is pain that I do not feel, I am only dreaming, this is not real. I don’t know where I’m at, I got lost, I don’t know how. You did not answer When I called, I am screaming for you now!

May 16, 2011 at 3:04 pm
(165) Jane says:

Right now I wish I went to sleep and never wake up. Sad, but the one thing I look forward to now is going to sleep and just dream…about him, about another life.

May 18, 2011 at 2:23 pm
(166) Brittany McPeek says:

I know what it feels like. My grandmother died Aug 28 2009. My father then passed away on September 6 2009 at age 35. I burried my father 5 days before my ” Sweet 16″ And I now live with this everyday of my life.. because I wasnt there to say goodbye to him.

May 22, 2011 at 11:28 am
(167) Glen says:

Firstly I want o say to eachand every one of you I’m sorry for your losses. They sy wego through experiences to lean a lesson. I’m sorry I don’t feel qualified to give advice.

June 13, 2011 at 10:10 pm
(168) KK says:

My 18 year old son died in a car crash about a month ago. He was torn apart. I sincerely hope that a person can die of a broken heart. They would not let me kill myself and I kind of gave up on the idea anyway after a week because I really don’t want to go to Hell and couldn’t come up with very good idea anyway. I don’t want to be here. The shock is finally wearing off and the reality that he is gone is starting to sink in. I know that life is a gift from God but I hope that He will have mercy on me and take me. I’m seeing a therapist, taking meds, etc. all the things you’re supposed to do but I just don’t want to be here. He was my only son. I lost my mother to cancer in 2004 and my grandmother a few years before that. The rest of my family kind of tossed me aside after my mother died (I was adopted). All my husband and I do is fight now. He just screams and is mean. I don’t want to throw away the gift of life but it no longer seems like much of a gift.

June 13, 2011 at 10:47 pm
(169) Sheri says:

KK, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. It is good that you are seeing a therapist to help you deal with your broken heart and grief. Is your husband seeing a therapist too? Have you considered marriage counseling to help the two of you deal together with the loss of your son?

Here is a link to an article about how to cope after losing a child.
http://marriage.about.com/cs/parenting/a/unthinkgrief.htm

Do Take care,
Sheri

June 13, 2011 at 11:20 pm
(170) Cj says:

My brother was murdered exactly 2 months ago tomorrow, by his wife. He found out that she was having an affair and told her he was going to divorce her and she shot and killed him.
She is out of jail and my brother is dead. My brother was a loving caring father of 5 started his own company from the ground up, a wonderful brother, uncle, son, AND husband. My heart is broken, he was my bestfriend, he always knew what to say to me when I start feeling low, and now he is gone for no reason at all. I sleep ALL day and night I never feel rested I don’t want to get out of bed at ALL. My heart is truly broken. I can feel it break a little more everyday. I have started seeing a therapist and so far it’s not helping. He was my only sibling. All I have left is my mom and daughter. I feel so alone.

June 29, 2011 at 11:01 am
(171) Travis says:

You can’t say kids my age don’t fall in love, I’m 16 and I’m completely head over heels for this one girl. People tell me to move on, im only a kid and i just need to get over it. To bad thats completely impossible for me. I fell inlove with this one girl.. shes my everything in my whole life, she was my bestfriend. we broke up and now i feel like i have nothing left to live for, my heart physically hurts. I have nothing left to hold on to… so yeah i very much believe in firing from a broken hear… cause i already did.

June 29, 2011 at 10:58 pm
(172) Jake says:

My girlfriend that i was engaged to left me for her last ex, my heart is beating really fast and i’m having chest pain and i can’t sit still….

June 30, 2011 at 1:00 am
(173) karri says:

I have been married for over 25 years. He and i knew each other 4 years before we got married. Now he is with someone else he calls a friend. I thought we would be together forever, growing old together. Now he wants to leave saying he doesnt want to be married anymore. I have a broken heart that hurts real bad. I dont know what to do. The pain on certain days in unbearable. I have no friends, no close family and no job at present. He was my soul mate if there is such a thing. We did everything together. I dont believe I can get over this. Some days I just want to die, I have no joy in life, no motivation, no goals. What for they can just be broken, I motivated myself so much for this marriage gave so much of me. I dont know if i could put myself out there again. It hurts too much. I dont want to be with someone that I cannot love as i did before and I dont want to put my feelings out there again to get stomped on. I have to protect myself. It hurts so bad, and dont want to go through this again. I dont want to be lonely either. I feel right now that I am dying inside of a broken heart. I have no hope or expectations for a good future.

June 30, 2011 at 1:02 am
(174) karrie says:

I have been married for over 25 years. He and i knew each other 4 years before we got married. Now he is with someone else he calls a friend. I thought we would be together forever, growing old together. Now he wants to leave saying he doesnt want to be married anymore. I have a broken heart that hurts real bad. I dont know what to do. The pain on certain days in unbearable. I have no friends, no close family and no job at present. He was my soul mate if there is such a thing. We did everything together. I dont believe I can get over this. Some days I just want to die, I have no joy in life, no motivation, no goals. What for they can just be broken, I motivated myself so much for this marriage gave so much of me. I dont know if i could put myself out there again. It hurts too much. I dont want to be with someone that I cannot love as i did before and I dont want to put my feelings out there again to get stomped on. I have to protect myself. I dont want to be lonely either. I feel right now that I am dying inside of a broken heart. I have no hope or expectations for a good future.

July 2, 2011 at 8:02 am
(175) Stephen says:

It seems that I can cope decently with the loss of loved ones. I find that the stories I tell of them is what keeps me thinking about how they are gone, but rather it helps me to keep them alive and share with others of how great a person they were in this world. I’ve buried a friend, one very close to me and he always regarded me as “The son he never had”.

However, there is many ways the heart can be broken. There is a saying that you can only give your heart once to someone, no matter the case. Even if you find another to love, it will never be the same as the first. This has happend to me, and saddly they cheated on me while I was deployed and then tried to hide it from me but certain tests never lie. Ever since my break up with my would be wife at the time I have never felt the same.

I never go out anymore unless its to the movies or to eat. I regard exercise as only a necessity to remaining healthy. I long for love so much but I feel that I can’t deal with being rejected/ cheated on again, it would be the end of me. II at times cry myself to sleep because of the loneliness. I have friends, but thats a different kind of companionship. I long for a lover of my own and eventually a family. Everyday it feels as if that future is becoming nothing more than a broken dream. This has also had a physical effect on me, I have aged rapidly in apperance. I look as if I’m in my late 30′s but I am only 24- soon to be 25. My hairline has receded to a point where I keep my hair short to hide it.

If I seek any form of medical help such as a shrink, it would be the end of my career (military) and would give them an excuse to kick me out for no concrete reason other than saying “Your loony”, that way they dont have to cover any medical expenses.

July 5, 2011 at 8:11 am
(176) jane says:

i lost my soul mate of 20 yrs just 3 days before xmas 2010.he was only 41yrs old.. im heartbroken, devastated.. i dont know how to go on, to even get through each day is painfull, i dread each morning.. we have 2 daughters aged 17 and 15.. how do i cope with there loss when im holding on by a thread myself… if it wasnt for my precious girls i would not b here…

July 5, 2011 at 3:25 pm
(177) nuts says:

You sleep on your side of the bed because your careful not to disturb your partner. You realize then that nobody is there just a another pillow and empty space. It’s an empty space that will never be filled. For a couple of hours you lay in there just thinking if you ever going to see her again. You cry yourself to sleep.

It is the same bed where a couple months ago she was with you and where you lost her. You wake up hoping it was just a bad dream yet she is not there. So you stand up and see her picture and then it hits you she is gone forever. You wonder why should I work today. What is the purpose of working for yourself?

As hard as it is, you know you do it to pass time. You escape the loneliness that repeats each day after day after day…. It haunts you. You are going day by day. You are at your desk trying to concentrate yet you stare at the wall, at the window wondering why are you working? Why am I here? You go home for lunch and nobody is there. You eat alone, quietly, no sound, nothing. You eat because you have to eat. And you ask why? You always ask why did it happen to you? You wait a couple of minutes before going back to work. I look at her pictures and you ask “where are you?” “are you okay?”.

You go back to work and try to do some stuff. And then it’s time to go home. You hesitate. There’s nobody at home. Nobody is waiting for you. There is no hello, no kiss, no embrace. Everything is gone. It has four walls. Forget the lights. You sit down in the dark and again you start thinking again. Why did it happen? What did I forget? You start dinner yet it’s only for you. You eat again, nobody’s around you. It’s quiet, dead silence. You can hear the clock ticking. The TV is on but you are looking at it just to pass time. You check your email, the phone, hoping for some voice to comfort you. None. Check the mail, some hospital bills for a spouse long gone.

July 5, 2011 at 3:27 pm
(178) Nuts says:

It’s close to midnight and you still can’t sleep. You go to the bedroom and see her side of the bed. Her pillow is there. Her blanket and her bed clothes too. Two months ago she was wearing them. She was smiling at you. Now its just you. You see the pictures and that’s all you have.

The cycle will start again and again and again….I miss her so much. God help me to do this again.

July 9, 2011 at 1:43 am
(179) janet says:

My husband of almost 27 years was diagnosed with Leukemia Oct 21, 2010 and died just 10 days later. We had been through so much together. We buried our baby Chase Ryan. My sons and I were never told you might want to perpare yourselves that he might not make it. He was supposed to be there 30 days and then get to come home. I just knew he would be coming home with me. He was never a sickly man 6′ 4 and about 250. He was restless the last night, I climbed into the hospital bed with him, he told me that he loved me and our two boys and then his oxygen level started dropping I can still hear the beeping of the machine.

Steve was my best friend, he still looked at me as if I was still the 18 year old that he first started dating. We dated four years and were married almost 27 years. I miss him every day, I am so lonely I do feel as if I will die of a broken heart. I just wished I could tell you how how great of a husband, father and friend he was. I am only 49 and I never thought I would be alone at this time of my life. I looked forward to us retiring together. Getting to see our first grandchild. Steve I will love you forever.

July 11, 2011 at 7:31 am
(180) Joi says:

I lost my best friend and lesbian girlfriend in a motorcycle accident about a month ago. She was my everything, my first girlfriend and we did everything together. Now that she is gone I fill so empty inside. I have become so depressed and don’t want to do anything. Everyday I think about her and wonder if she is truely looking down on me. I can’t wait to see her again and I miss her so much…everyday my heart breaks more and more. I miss my Tasha so much!!!! I love u!!!

July 15, 2011 at 2:43 pm
(181) deadinside says:

I too found this site looking for some kind of comfort.
I lost my husband/bestfriend/soulmate April 3,2011.
He was diagnosed with aggressive end stage lung cancer 8/26/10. He suffered 7 months and died at home after only being on hospice for 1 day.
We had been together since 1986, he was only 49.
I’m soooo lost without him and the pain is unbearable.
The only thing keeping me alive is my mother, if it wasn’t for her I’d have already joined him. I lost my sister when she was 17 and I was 22 which is why I can’t do that to my mother.
I should get an oscar for my acting skills, on the outside I smile and say I’m ok whenever people ask but inside I am just as dead as he is, I know I will never love anyone as much as him and I don’t want to.
I am truly lost without him and feel like my life has no purpose anymore. I don’t know what to do with myself, I don’t know where my life is going…it sucks

July 16, 2011 at 12:20 am
(182) dianne says:

I’m sitting here in the dark in my driveway. Ive been crying for nearly one month off and on. I cannot control my emotions. I know my friends are tired of seeing me like this. They were supportive at first now they just don’t know what to do. I moved out of my boyfriends house after I found out he had never stopped dating the whole time we were together. He is self employed so had a lot of spare time which he spent at the airport in his hanger working Nd flying his plane. I would fly w him quite a bit..but I was busy w my own activities which is what he said anyway….I have horses so they take as much time as the airplane.I’m heartbroken and just want to die. He was never alone at the airport..apparently had practically a new girl all the time. No one at the airport even knew we lived together. They figured I was just one of the many women he had. I’m so humiliated and hurt. I was so happy sharing my life with him. I’m 49 and never been married. He is 62 and a player. I’m naive. He is a predator. I go between being so angry to sobbing tears. I’m abandoned, and alone e en though I have many friends. I just want to die. My therapist is out of the country or I would call her…….I have avoided relationships for years as I get hurt easily. I can’t believe this horrific pain is back. I now know I will never have romantic love in my life. I cannot take that chance again. Im very healthy except for major depression I’ve gF all my life which I know makes all this worse. I’m having a lot of pressure in my chest….but seriously wonder if my heart is breaking like I wonder if I’m hAving s heart attack or something.

July 18, 2011 at 7:50 am
(183) amy says:

wade died.

July 18, 2011 at 9:43 am
(184) amy says:

wade died, in a motorcycle accident. i know he’s sorry, but i get mad at him sometimes that he wasn’t being more alert. the lady pulled out in front of him and he hit her. and he’s gone. he died June, 12, 2011. he was 28. I’m 27. we were. I’m already forgetting what his voice sounded like. i was so frantic after he died, and then i calmed down, because the only reason i could think of for him dying was that i was going to die very shortly there after. so i was calm. and expectant. but now, everything is working out for me in a way that leads me to believe that he’s setting me up to live FOREVER. it’s all coming together. I’ll be okay. and that’s not okay with me. I’m becoming frantic again.

July 18, 2011 at 9:44 am
(185) amy says:

we were going to have children in a couple years. we had the names picked out. now I’ll never have his child. or any child. people say I’m young, and I’ll find someone, and i know that i will. but not wade. not the one i shared every first with. i will never give some other man a child. wade’s child. our child. how could i give some man that first? why would i want a baby without wade to hold it, and without his blue eyes, or his laugh? how could i meet him after i die if i gave myself like that to another man? I’m his. my body is his. my life is his. I’m jealous of the women on here that were with their men for so long. we only had 13 years. and i am young, so people scoff at the intensity and longevity of our love. they seem to think everyone feels the same way. that it would end like their relationships. you had the time to prove them wrong. it was a non issue till he died. i asked his mother for the plot next to his….and she said yes. but you could see the doubt in her face that i would want to be there after so much time. so i have a life to look forward to of second bests. i also feel guilty for being alive still. i thought if he died i would die. but I’m still here. why aren’t i rolling on the floor? pulling out my hair? why didn’t i get in the coffin and blow my brains out? people say- I’m so amazed at how you’re handling all this. you’re so strong. i couldn’t handle it if i was you.- it’s like a veiled insult. like I’m not sad enough. i want to do all those things, and more. but if i give up hope, and give up on the world, did i deserve him? did he die so i wouldn’t end up ruining everything with my petty selfishness? how can i betray him by being weak? we are strong people. i want to be weak. so much. but he’s the only one i can be that way with.

July 18, 2011 at 9:45 am
(186) amy says:

i don’t respect anyone the way i respected him. people say that time will make the hurt fade, and i hate that. i never want the pain to go away. i want to remember every tear and every pain in my chest. i want to feel hurt forever. the time separated is what i fear the most. the fading of the bad memories of his death will be right beside the small memories of our everyday lives. the forgetting of the blood trail i followed to where he was in the hospital will be right next to the forgetting of how it felt when he kissed my neck. i wish i could cry more. my face has a very thin line where my mouth used to be. i try to not think about all the things that we were planning, because how can i be missing something that i never had? i will try to be big, and expand my soul, so i can grow to be as large in spirit as wade. that is my new reason for living, to live up to him, so he will be proud to meet me again when it’s all over. i used to be so afraid of how short life was, now all i can think is how long it is. i know that i can not die from a broken heart. i envy those that have. good luck to all of you. amy titus, wade’s wife.

July 19, 2011 at 12:54 am
(187) janets says:

A man at my work retired today and I realized as his family came in to be there for the celebration, that Steve will not be there when I retire. All of the dreams we had about retiring together will never happened. It has now been 8 1/2 months since his death and I still have a hard time comping. I am lonely, others don’t understand, they go on with their lives and mine seems to be standing still. I tell them that I miss him so much and their remark is always you at least had a man that loved you and ya’ll had passion. But that seems to make it harder if you have loved someone so deeply, the pain doesn’t just end. The want for them is so strong. Because we spent our time together, there was no one I would had rather been with than Steve. We shared everything laughter, tears, and love. How could he be gone so soon and how do I go on from here? How can you feel so lonely in a crowd. I still go through uncontrolable tears, it’s like I hold it together all week at work and then on the weekends I can no longer hold them back. I am home alone my sons Justin is married and Chad is in college. So I am so alone. Even my sisters don’t seem to know what to do with me. It’s has if I lost Steve and everyone else too. I get angry at this, and confused. Just when I need others the most they seem to back off.

July 19, 2011 at 1:24 am
(188) janet says:

As you can see, I still do not sleep through the night. I still wake up feeling for Steve next to me. I pray each night for God to turn back the clock a year so I can get Steve to the doctor in time to save his life. I keep thinking it is a bad dream. I do want to die but I will not take my own life. But I think if I was diagnosed with something I wouldn’t fight to live. I know my two sons should be enough to want to stay here. But they are older and out doing their own thing, and that is okay. They are truly a blessing to me and their dad. I miss just having someone to watch tv with or we would drive around the country road and just talk. I don’t think I will every remarry, I don’t think I could ever love anyone else as much as I did Steve and that makes me sad in away. Because I am only 49 and I think is this what the rest of my life is going to be like. LONELY…. I don’t fit in this world anymore. I don’t belong with the single friends because they are out looking for Mr or Mrs Right, and I don’t fit in with the married friends because that just makes me feel sad and angry. Lord please help me through this.

July 19, 2011 at 7:32 pm
(189) katie says:

I never thought I would be posting somewhere like this. I just loss my dad unexpectedly 3 days ago, and I literally feel like I don’t know how to go on. He meant the absolute world to me. He was the most outgoing, fun, sweetest, smartest person you could be around, he just didn’t see it himself, and battled alcoholism for the last 15 years. He lived with my husband and I for a year & a half (had lost his job & no where to go), during which time he was completely sober & healthy, and just moved out 7 months ago. He started drinking again (SO furious about this),had a ruptured ulcer (did not know about) and decided to drink vodka to ease the pain in his stomach, instead of going to the doctor, last Friday. By the time the paramedics came saturday morning, he was not breathing and had no pulse. They were able to get his heart started again, but the damage to his organs was irreversible, and we could not even talk to him because they kept him unconscious due to brain damage as he died. I held his hand as he took his last breath, and felt as though I was dying as well. I am only 31 and am not ready to lose him. I keep playing the what if game, if only I had visited him on Friday and made him go to the doctor. I LITERALLY cannot accept in my head that he is gone. My husband is really trying to help me cope but i feel he can’t understand, he has never lost anybody. I just feel lost & alone. I always was scared of death, but it doesn’t seem so bad anymore, because then either I can see him again, or not feel this pain. My husband has been getting mad at me for not eating or sleeping, but i feel like I’ve lost both a parent & a kid, since I spent sometimes taking care of him, and sometimes him taking care of us kids (even though whenever he could, he would help us WITHOUT question, we meant the world to him). I know he would not want us to be sad, but he would not want to be gone either…. this is just all too much for me… I miss him more than words.

July 26, 2011 at 9:08 pm
(190) al says:

I too am broken hearted but with a different story I am just a loser of 50 years. Never have belonged anywhere ever school work anywhere. Father died when I was three. I have never wanted to live since. Never had anybody who I really could say cared. Been looked down upon my whole life work and personal. I have been going to bed my whole life begging that tomorrow never comes. Has been a painfull life each day. Couldnt take my own life for two reasons one I am a coward two I dont want to give people the pleasure of knowing they have allways been right. To my dissapointment if one could die of a broken heart I feel I would have died a long time ago. I still to this day have not given up hope that my only dream would come true. I know in my heart this is not where I belong. I am not angry or a trouble maker. I stay so far out of other peoples way. Never even had a traffic ticket because im invisable to the world. Have been married with child but my dream is the same. Oh how I wish one could die of a broken heart!

August 3, 2011 at 10:24 pm
(191) janet says:

Another day down, setting here watching tv by myself. I have slept better the last few nights, so thankful for that. I wished I could turn back the clock 1 yr and change how things have turned out. Steve has been gone 9 months now. Some days it
is easier but still I feel dead inside, I look at my self and see a hollow shell. So lonely… But how I was Blessed to have him in my life. To share everything with him. I found a card he had given me for our anniversary the card itself was very pretty and had a nice message but the message he had written was worth so much. WHAT MORE CAN A MAN ASK FOR?
A COMPANION TO WALK BESIDE HIM AND BALANCE HIS WORLD?
SOMEONE TO SHARE LOVE FAMILY & LIFE, THATS WILLING TO FIGHT FOR ALL THREE?
THE ANSWER IS NOTHING….
YOU ALWAYS HAVE BEEN AND ALWAYS WILL BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN MY LIFE.
He had such a way of writing what he felt. God thank you so much for my husband…

August 7, 2011 at 6:08 am
(192) Frank says:

I am dying of a broken heart as I write this…its been two years of constant pain…a pain and torment that never ends…whats worse is, this was by my own hand…I have no one to blame but myself…I had the best girl in the world…one who was loving and caring and truly an angel in spirit by all accounts and I was the one who strayed…no reason for it…just being selfish and very very stupid…I now know the terrible hurt I placed on her and I (deservedly so) am living in a constant hell…The doctors told me I had a “silent” heart attack two weeks ago…they want to go in and check my heart out…but I know what the real problem is…my heart is broken by my own hand…they would not understand…nobody does…I suffer in silence, with no end in sight…nothing, and I mean nothing brings me pleasure any more…I miss her so much, I can’t put it into words…

August 9, 2011 at 7:32 pm
(193) Lynda says:

I lost my 19 yr. old grandson, Michael, on May 24, 2011. It was the day after my birthday. The pain I feel never goes away. I pray for God to take me home but I know I am being selfish for thinking about leaving my husband of 42 yrs., my daughter and son and my 3 granddaughters. Michael was the light of my life. The day he was born was the proudest and most stressful day of my life. I have never felt so protective of any one like I did him. He lived with me and my husband and going into his room is a comfort and also so painful. I just can’t accept his death. I think a person can die from a broken heart.

August 11, 2011 at 12:22 pm
(194) janetanderson says:

My mother died she was 72 and 50 days later my father who was 92 died, i do think he could not go on anymore and he did die of a broken heart.
e looked after my mother for years as she was not well and i think that kept him going, knowing he had to be there for her.
I lost a wonderfull father and now iam in pain.

August 13, 2011 at 9:06 am
(195) Una says:

My husband of almost 47 years died on the 29th April 2011 from lung cancer. He died at home with blood pouring out of his mouth – in my arms. I cannot live without him. We met 52 years ago when I was 17 years old and fell in love within a few weeks. I cannot eat, I cannot function, my heart is broken and I just long to be with him. Our daughters know that I just want to be with him and have almost resigned themselves to the fact that I will not fight to live on this earth a moment longer than necessary. I pray every day that God will release my spirit and soul to join my husband in heaven and that my husband is waiting for me. With my belief in God I cannot end my life by my own hand but each day I awake, disappointed, that I am still here on earth. I have done everything to make it easy for our daughters to clear up our affairs and have made a memory box of our love story. I have written a tribute to my wonderful husband who took care of us all. He was my soulmate and I cannot live without my soulmate.

August 17, 2011 at 3:40 pm
(196) Malu says:

I’ve read most comments on this page and I must say that I almost bursted into tears. It’s really sad to lose a loved one, whether it’s though death, abandonment, etc.
A broken heart is a broken heart, and regardless of the reason, it is something unbearable.

I have been living with a broken heart for 10 years, agoninzing for my loved one. The pain grows with time in my case, so no, time does not heal wounds. I’m waiting for time to come, but time seems like my worst enemy. So yeah guys, I totally understand where you guys are coming from.

August 17, 2011 at 6:01 pm
(197) Terry says:

I’m so sorry to hear everyone’s sad story. I can actually relate, I was 23 yrs old when I had a major heartbreak. My ex I was with for 6yrs dumbed me because his family refused having me in his Family. I moved from Massachusetts to Virginia for this guy I love him and we were young. So when we broke up I had to move all of my things back to Massachusetts and start everything all over again, it was so hard because I haven’t been in Massachusetts in 6 yrs and I felt so alone without the man I loved . After he left me, it made it worst when he ignored me. I felt like my chest tight, I felt like I was dieing. Till this day I still feel the pain and I am 25yrs old now. I have moved on but never forgot the pain of rejection, betrayal, lied too, and heartbroken. With my new boyfriend now who ignores my calls when he is upset drives me insane. Everytime I am mad at him I feel the pain over again. Being heartbroken is the worst thing ever. I feel like it takes so much time to get over.†

August 18, 2011 at 2:12 pm
(198) Darlene says:

I lost my husband two weeks ago-we have been married for 38 years-together for 39-I have never known pain like this-I cannot focus or function. I am in a fog-I try hard to do something productive everyday-but I really don’t care if things get done. I love him and miss him so much-he was my best friend. My children are wonderful-they are helping me with all of the things that need to get done-my family and friends are very supportive-I don’t want to be needy or a burden to anyone. I will go back to work soon-and maybe I can slowly begin to adjust to this life of a single person-I loved being a couple. I hate this empty house-I try to think of all of our pleasant memories and the fun we had-I look at photos-and then the sadness engulfs me and I know that I am alone.

August 19, 2011 at 12:33 am
(199) katie says:

my heart breaks for everyone on here :( i was the one who posted on july 19th about my dad (which was supposed to be his 61st birthday). i can’t believe I’ve made it through this last month, and i am missing my dad so much every day. it is so strange how this last month seems like years have gone by, yet i still feel like i should be able to call and talk to him? it just seems so wrong… anyways, i found a website that is kind of like a support group that helps, it is called “daily strength”, it doesn’t change what happened, but it does help to talk to people who are going through the same thing….

August 20, 2011 at 11:09 am
(200) judy says:

My husband passed away 9 months ago – I live with pain, guilt, anger and with a broken heart – he was waiting to go into rehab. Where he was living he was attacked by a schizophrenic resident with meat cleaver and his body was hidden in his room for two days before he was discovered – I was advised not to identify him – his death was horrific and brutal – I was angry with him at the time of his death and now I have to carry the guilt with me every minute of the day. every day of the year. I wasn’t talking to him for 3 weeks before he died. We were married for 18 years – the first time I didn’t see or speak to him in all those 18 years were those last damn 3 weeks – and then this happened. Words cant explain the pain I have inside, my heart literally aches. So overwhelmed with sorrow and guilt – being angry at someone and then they pass – there are no words to describe the feeling – would only ever listen to someone if they’ve walked in my shoes…….

August 27, 2011 at 2:16 pm
(201) Janine says:

I almost died from a broken heart cause my love of my life of 2 years broke it off after my last class of the Spring semester. For 3 months, I have a hard time breathing. I also had chest pains. Now, I just feel empty. What’s keeping me going is hope that he would change his mind. Everyday I’m wishing and praying to God for him to give his heart back to me.

Hope is the only thing is keeping me alive.

August 28, 2011 at 5:15 am
(202) Valentina says:

I have had plenty of broken hearts from lovers but i lost my best friend from when i was 2. I lost her when i was in 8th grade. She commited suicide when she was on the phone with her boyfriend. He was breaking up with after 5 years. She was a beautiful fun loving girl. I am only 18 and we were a couple days apart. I feel like dieing a lot but i kno she would not want that for me. She always told me i would find my man like she had. I knew something was going to happen but i never guesses it would have been losing her. She was always there for me and she was always smiling no matter what happened. Now i listen to sad music all day. I stay away from people and I just keep to myself. I know she would have wanted me to be happier and be back to normal but i cant. She used to see me everyday. When i lost her i used to sit alone at lunch, i sat in the back of class. I had a huge breakdown in class. I was sent home. I said things to her i cant ever take back now. I feel like i was a bad friend because i didnt save her. The worst part was there was no warning. She was amazing. About a month ago i got so depressed i tryed to die. My boyfriend now doesnt know about this action. I dont feel like telling him. I just stay awake all night thinking about if her and i would be having a sleep over right now. I know i can never hear her or see her smile again. I could have saved her if i wasnt stupid. Her brother founded her hanging. I lost my bestfriend and i can never see her again. I will never see her again. I still feel like ending it all and i know i will never be normal. Everyone tells me it will be okay. It never will and i know that. Losing someone sucks.

August 30, 2011 at 1:51 pm
(203) Sue says:

Hi everyone. You are all in my prayers. I want to thank all of you for your stories. I cried reading each and every post.

I lost the love of my life on August 23. He was my best friend. He is my soul mate We were not married…we were friends…very best friends! I know that sounds strange…a friend a soul mate, not a husband…but you just know when it happens to you. Everything just clicks.

Danny had a stroke and went into a coma never to regain consciousness. I want to die. The pain is unbearable. It feels like my heart exploded in my chest. I have dropped to my knees begging God to help me find strength through all this. I know it’s new. I know I need to give it time but every minute feels like days, days feel like years. I can’t imagine making it through months of this pain, never mind years.

We talked about everything…love, traveling, life. However, I have found out it was all a lie. I received a call after his death from his cousin telling me he was married, with two children. I didn’t know. I am not only in pain from his death, but from his deceit. His wife is beautiful, his children are incredible (they are in their 20s). He had such a wonderful family and never shared that with me.

I would have loved to know. I would have loved to have been a part of all that. I don’t understand why he did what he did. We were friends, not lovers. He did not cheat on her. We were each other’s sanity. I’ve known him for 16 years and had no clue he had this other life. He spoke of these people (wife, son, daughter) but as his sister, nephew and neice.

I feel so deceived and so heartbroken. How can I recover from this. I have not stopped crying since his death, I have not stopped praying since his stroke.

Thank you so much for allowing me to share this. I hope time heals or at the very least, I hope it’s possible to die from a broken heart because at least all the pain will be gone.

August 31, 2011 at 12:10 am
(204) Jake says:

For all of you I am praying at this very minute for you. I have a broken heart because my girlfriend and I are not together. However I truly can’t imagine the pain that some of you are going through. I’m so sorry! Please, please, please get help! Life is worth living. I’ve also thought of suicide but it’s such a selfish act. Think about the other people in your life that would be hurt. Life is a gift and I really do understand how you feel. Maybe not to the degree that you feel it, but I do understand. Time may not heal all, but if you don’t get help and give up you will never know what you may have missed out on. One day you will meet your loved ones in heaven. As for now you’ve been given a gift of life in an age when we have counseling, medicine, and internet sites that can help you. I pray that you and I both use them. IN GODS NAME I PRAY THAT WE DO. BEST, JAKE.

September 1, 2011 at 5:35 pm
(205) Jim says:

There is somthing cathardic in all of this misery. I feel so alone, but have here discovered many un-met friends who have helped me through this single day. I want to thank “Nuts” in particular for his expression of the inexpressable , I live as you do my friend. I lost my sweet wife on March 27, 2011 and know as do many of you the cruel finality of that awful day. The best part of me is truly gone.

September 7, 2011 at 3:51 pm
(206) Mal says:

I lost my husband of 43 years in Dec last year .it was his last day at work before retiring .we went to bed he seemed okay 10 mins later he had died .I feel so cheated his retirement was taken away from him after he had worked hard all his life.I miss him so much I just can’t move on with my life even though I had got Grandkids I feel like I can’t carry on without him.
4 weeks after my husband died my mum died I feel lost and alone.ten months have now passed I feel just as upset now as went happened

September 7, 2011 at 10:47 pm
(207) Anne Thompson says:

I hope that I WILL die of my broken heart because I don’t want to LIVE without my husband. I will never committ suicide but, take care of myself??? NEVER!!! Life is completely without meaning without the love of my life beside me.

September 12, 2011 at 2:54 pm
(208) Linda says:

My husband and best friend passed away June 17, 2011. I was not with him when he passed because I knew he was going to die and I tried to commit suicide and meet him on the other side. One of my daughters called emts, I was saved. I do not know why and am angry because she found me in time. I want to be with my husband, I won’t try to commit suicide again, too risky, I could get put away if somethig goes wrong again, like another daughter showing up unannounced. I will NOT take care of myself, NEVER, even dropped my health insurance. His daughter had a POA and has thrown me out of the house, took over all the finances So on top of his death, i have to deal with a court case against her.

September 26, 2011 at 1:43 pm
(209) christina says:

I am crying so much right now. I feel like I can’t go on. My boyfriend of 3 yrs and I had a big arguement and are not talking to eachother right now and I’m wondering if he ever will since I haven’t been able to get a hold of him since our big fight.. we have been thru so much together and each time we manage to make it work but this time I wonder if that will happen. It’s hard to think notice that maybe everythin will be ok. I wish he could see all the tears that I’ve cried. He was everything to me and made me feel amazing when I was around him. I have realized now that I cannot live without him. It’s hard. I cannot even talk to anyone about this not even my own mother.. I’ve probably only had 5 hours of sleep in the past 2 days. I cry my eyes out at night when I’m alone. It’s the worst feeling ever. I just wish I could call him mine again. I wonder if he misses me. I’m feel like I’m dying here!!

October 1, 2011 at 2:04 pm
(210) thebigkak says:

My wife of 23 years died a little over 9 years ago and I hoped and prayed I would follow soon. I didn’t and am still living with a very broken heart. I would end things but my 2 daughters are still living with me and need me to make ends meet. I have been unemployed since 2008, can’t seem to land a job and have been living on student loans for the past 2 years. My life feels so over even if it’s not and I just wish I could go to sleep and never wake up. I know I am on a self destructive mode and have distanced myself from friends and family in preparation for whatever happens. I lost my faith in god til I sincerely believe there is no such thing anymore. i really just want to be done with the suffering. Dr. says I am bipolar but the meds make me so sick.

October 1, 2011 at 7:21 pm
(211) ajb says:

It’s been more than 2 months since my first break up with my boyfriend. We really had our great moments and bad moments together. I love him and miss him soo much it hurts. He cared about me and understands me for who I am. He still does. Sadly our relationship ended because we didn’t have enough time for us. I feel so empty. I barely get enough sleep and I didn’t bother leaving the house because the pain is too much for me. Everyday I have been thinking about him. I couldn’t stop crying almost every single day because I’ve been lonely and it’s not the same without him. What hurts the most is when I tried getting him back he said doesn’t want it anymore and it’s too late. It made me think about doing crazy things such as- taking my own life, but someone stop me. All I have left is our friendship, my family and my real friends. For those people who are thinking about suicide, please don’t. It will bring more pain to yourself and to your love ones. The world is not going to stop even though you take your life.

October 5, 2011 at 11:25 pm
(212) prissy says:

I lost my husband of 35 yrs. 3 wks. ago from a massive heart attack. We loved each other but had a great deal of stress in our lives particularly the last 6 months because of our oldest sons drug addiction. We are people of faith and I believe our days are numbered by God and He calls us at the right time. However, its hard not to play the “if only, what if I’d done that,” game. I grieve because our last wks were not particularly joyous, although we did everything together. I miss him so much that if God were to call me this minute, I’d gladly go. But I bow to His perfect love and wisdom. I cry throughout the day many times and many nights cry myself to sleep. Sometimes I am doing ok and the least little thing in the house or yard will stir a memory of him and the pain comes in many forms; gag reflex, nausea, knot in tummy, sleeplessness, too much sleep and just plain old despair and depression. Sometimes I’m ok for almost a day and sometimes I have to take it 5 minutes at a time. But, the one thing that sustains me is prayer to God to lessen the pain and strengthen and comfort me. When I remember thru the tears to pray this I get sweet relief. I feel touched by all of you on this blog in that we’re connected by our great losses and will pray that all of us will come thru this journey with our love and memories of our lost loved ones intact but also strength and perserverence and courage to reach out and live again. I don’t know you but I love you all. God Bless You

October 16, 2011 at 12:19 pm
(213) shelly says:

I lost the love of my life and i just pray to god to take me i don’t have frinds or family he was my everything and i just wan’t to be with him…

October 23, 2011 at 1:41 am
(214) katie says:

people who find this page have done a search for: dying of a broken heart, because of a horrible loss, but we all HAVE to find a way to go on. it’s HARD, i lost my beloved best friend and dad 3 months ago, and thought i was going to die. and still can’t believe he’s not here. it is so hard for those of us left behind, to remember the person we had and have no more… and our world will never be the same. even happy times/moments will be bittersweet. But, we will ALL be there someday. Either our loved ones are in spirit form, and wanting us to be happy, or are just not in any sort of pain or consciousness right now, and it is just our pain to bear. either way, most of the people who post on here, have people that love them and would be devastated if they lost them. so keep that in mind, please

October 24, 2011 at 2:57 am
(215) David says:

I am a surviving spouse. I lost the love of my life to complications of cancer treatment. We were so close and in love with each other. I told my beloved Robin Denise so many times that she was my life and without her I just wouldn’t have a reason to live! Well, now that’s pretty much my situation now! I can only hope that my broken heart stops beating! The sooner the better! My life isn’t worth anything now! I’m not any good for anyone now! Why I’m still alive I don’t know! I’m 52 years old, the last time I had a checkup my heart was strong & I was in very good health although I needed to loose weight. I’ve lost over 80 lbs now, it’s going on 9 months since I lose my beloved wife and I really don’t care about the health benefits of loosing this weight! I’m still just as ready to go as that first day of my loss to go! This is a thought that hasn’t changed with me! Sad, glad, mad, what ever! I don’t care about much of anything now! Just how long I have to be here in this life! No I’m not suicidal! I have no choice but to go on but I have to say that this article gives me hope that maybe I can get what I want after all! I haven’t seen a doctor in about 14 months and don’t have any plans on seeing one! I’ve lost all faith in the medical profession! They can have their FDA approved drugs and treatments! I wont ever have anything to do with it!

October 26, 2011 at 11:52 am
(216) Kathy says:

I lost my son last month i pray everyday for him to come for me i dont want to go on without him and there is nobody that could change my mind i hurt so much we were very close i need him

October 29, 2011 at 5:55 pm
(217) kev says:

I married the most wonderfull / beauitfull girl this year in April (She was 54)…then cancer come.. i nurse her 24/7… stopped work, just to look after her, same year Aug 23..My wife died of cancer..we were married for 4 months and 5 days… my wife was my world, my every thing..before she died we talked and we said within 2 years after her death, i would follow… Never in my life have i looked so much forward to my death, then we will be together again, we lived by the words ” We are as one, We stay as one”… in life and death we are man and wife…

October 30, 2011 at 6:26 pm
(218) john says:

We can understand only too well many stories above.We husband and wife have lost our Mums our Dads and a brother ..Then our only daughter passedaway in an instant, after three days with machines keeping her with us she passed away never seeing so many loving hearts beside her..Now it has been three years since she left us and on her memorial site we cry a milliontears for her to once more come through our door..Losing our parents is always something we realise one day will come, but losing our lovely vibrant young girl has torn our world apart.The feeling of despair and sadness begin each morning and is the last feeling each night. Somedays we carry on and a fleeting sadness comes then at other times we could scream or break something to relieve the sadness of a lost future…

October 31, 2011 at 1:44 am
(219) cindy says:

Im dying inside and killing everyone around me with my hateful ways. my husband was killed in a car wreck 7 months ago and I am having a hard time dealing with it, I have pushed all my kids away and am mean to the 3 that are still here with me. I have cried all day long and sat in the house all weekend and nothing makes me happy any more. I want to die sometimes. I have no job or money and dont even get up to do anything about it even though im so broke i havent paid my HOA fees in 3 months and my lights will be turned off if i dont have $300 by the 9th of Nov. When will this end or when will i just get over it.

November 4, 2011 at 9:03 am
(220) cath says:

i am like you all my loving partner died 4 weeks ago after only 8 months of being told he had cancer. We went thru it all brain surgery radiation chemo noone knows how im feeling its like …get on with your life come out & be happy .. i lost the love of my life & i so want to be with him i dont want to be alone without him im so sad ,i dont think i can do this on my own we had so many dreams … i miss him so much… i think im dying inside

November 8, 2011 at 5:50 am
(221) Shaz says:

i met my husband when i was 20,married 3 years later.in june after being together 9 years he wanted to break up, said he dident love me anymore. we had our problems as every couple does but i believed we could get through anything together,that marriage is for life. we lived in a house that came with his job so i had no choice but to move out, i started my own business a few years ago but it is not earning enough to support me on my own not to mention i was such a reck i could not stand being in the town that i had shared my whole life with him, everything i had done there was for him/us.i moved back in with my parents 70 miles away.i lost my husband,home,friends,independence,work and soul,everything i had spent 10 years building was gone.
a month ago i found out he had been cheating on me for 8 months with someone he worked with.i had my suspicions as he started spending time with her last xmas,i confronted him many times while we were together and since we have separated,he denied it every single time assuring me there was no one else,he was alone,a month ago i demanded the truth, he was very sketchy about the details but admitted to seeing her and was currently sleeping with her.he keeps changing his story. he gave many reasons for not wanting me anymore one of them being that im to much of a kid and immature but this girl is 15 years his junior. 5 months now and i am no better, the only peace i get is when im asleep, as soon as i wake up this blackness just comes over. i have been suicidal, planning it but to gutless to go through with it mostly for my parents sake. i just cant handle life without him, im not ment to, i believe you only truly love one person and i was obviously not good enough for him and this is my punishment. i will NEVER got over this, i will always love him and i will never get back my soul which he has cast away. i am empty, i have nothing left, no desire, no want for anything, just pain and emptiness
Thanx for listening
Shaz

November 13, 2011 at 11:16 pm
(222) broken says:

My husband and I married young. Everyone said it would never last. But we knew different. After 29 yrs we were still in love. We could finish each others sentence, we still held hands. We went every where together. This past Oct I lost him in a car wreck. Each day I wake brings reality that I was left behind. I long to hear his voice. My heart aches to see his face. Yes I know the pain of losing my reason for living but I also know he would have wanted me to continue on. He would want me to care for and love our children. I have to be strong, keep his memory alive by telling our grandchildren how papa loved then so. So when I feel like I cannot go on I know I still have a reason for being here.

November 17, 2011 at 5:38 am
(223) Ryan H says:

I’d like to hear everyone’s thoughts on this one. A little over a year ago now, I met the woman that I love so darn much, on a game that I play. I just happened to cross her in one of the chat rooms, and I fell in love. After a while, we got closer, we were together on this game, and I asked her to marry me. On January 8th of this year, we got married. I don’t know what happened, but once we got married, it lasted two weeks, and I was just beginning to be a real jerk to her. I felt so empty in my chest, I begged for her back, couldn’t stop thinking about her. We ended up getting back together twice between March and April..had problems both times because of me. I don’t know what happened to me, i’m so deeply in love with her, I don’t know why I act like this. Ever since our last break up, till today, 11/17/11, I have been in pain, thinking about her constantly…I just cant help it. It’s been around 7 months now. I mean, c’mon, it was online, I just don’t get it. Her and I don’t speak anymore up until about a week ago. She is tired of me talking so mean to her. I always say things cruel about the husband that she has on the game now, and about how he shouldn’t trust her (Which he has no reason not to.) I also am so scared to tell her I still love her, and to say anything nice about her, because i’m scared of rejection. I don’t know what to do. Does anyone know why I do this/why I feel like this?

November 20, 2011 at 6:22 am
(224) neverinlove says:

i thought i loved him,but i dont. he has lied to me over averything. from who drank the last of the milk to who is on the phone. i can not believe anything that he says anymore. i don’t want sex cause i want to love and be loved by a honest person. and the story is always about him.. he does not want to hear about my day. he stories are more important and i am tired of this. i want to be first for once to some guy. i even hate sex with him because it is over as soon as it starts, most of time i am glad!! help

November 23, 2011 at 5:24 am
(225) Gary B says:

I can relate to the feeling of dying of a broken heart. My wife of 12 years (15 together) left me suddenly and without warning 2 months and 5 days ago now and i am in hell. the thoughts and feelings coursing through me right now are the worse things i have ever gone through in my life, i feel dead inside and can’t function properly. I am depressed and just want to die. She is the love of my life and my best friend and i can’t see a future without her. I yearn for her every second of every day, i wonder what she is doing now every few minutes and i have cried an ocean full of tears, nothing dulls the heartache and its wearing me down. I have to survive for our 2 beautiful girls and my 2 older sons from a previous marriage. My wife came along at a time after my first marriage ended when i went through similar feelings, but after Romily came along i realised that the love i thought i had lost with my first wife was not the soulmate love that i experienced with Romily. She consumed my every fibre and lit up my whole life with joy and happiness and content. We had 2 beautiful girls together and life was good. Recently she had a hysterectomy due to cervical cancer issues, this changed her a lot. She became harder inside and felt that she wasn’t whole any more and less of a woman. I nursed her through all this and reassured her that she was more of a woman and still the most beautiful woman i had ever laid eyes on. She then changed jobs, it wazs the beginning of the end for us, it changed her more than i can describe. She moved into the world of upmarket, high end house sales, she started to change and transform herself from the down to earth and humble gorgeous wife i knew into this person i didn’t recognise anymore. My heart aches and bleeds every second of every day for my lost love, she was (still is) my ever love and the pain i feel in losing her is worse by far than death.

November 26, 2011 at 7:20 pm
(226) CancerWoman says:

i have a highly psychic tuned energy. and after 5 years.. i feel my loves energy pulling me towards him..and i love him so much i dont want to tell him to stop because i dont want him to. but i dont want to hurt my family. nor do i want to not fulfill this current life’s purpose. it takes a lot of energy to incarnate to earth. but..everything is worth us being together. im not torn. what freaks me out the most is that im not freaked out. i know what to expect and im prepared to accept it. yet i still want what i want which is slightly counteracting to what i feel beginning to a take place against our strong desires.

November 26, 2011 at 7:35 pm
(227) to mr. b. says:

omg… gary b. i know what you’re going through. you must know that everything word you speak to her and every word you think towards her- she feels. do not be afraid to communicate with her and do not be afraid to recieve the messages that she sends to you.

please accept the truth mr. b.

please shed your skin and invite the stronger and more vibrant, newer you.

November 30, 2011 at 4:52 am
(228) lanine says:

i’m from a broken family. My family used to be poor and i’ve always been ashamed of myself since i was a little girl. I’ve used to be bullied when i was very young, mentally. Also, i’ve encountered sexual abuse when i was barely 7 y.o by a relative. But no one knows that, i keep it secret until now. Now that i’m almost 21, and my family is financially stable, but my parents’ marriage is on the rock bc my dad got few illegal children from other women. unlucky for my us, we only discovered this recently and since then, my mom has been crying non-stop, broken hearted. i can’t stand to see her cries, yet i still have to pretend that i’m strong. i only cry when there’s no one around. i feel helpless, broken and shattered to ground. i feel like dying, i’m still too young to experience all these. i never fell in love and i don’t think i will ever trust other ppl. i hate myself so much that i despise myself. sometimes i broke into tears w/o any reasons. i’m totally heart broken and idk what to do with the rest of my life

December 11, 2011 at 10:58 am
(229) Mohit says:

Three years ago i met the most amazing woman ever. I proposed marriage to her coz something deep inside of me said…she is the one. We dated for two years and got married in February this year at a beautiful temple ceremony in India. My wife looked so beautiful and radiant, her smile spoke volumes about what she was feeling from deep within. On my birthday (1st of May) she gave me the most beautiful gift of my life when she told me she was pregnant. We were both so happy and thrilled. On the 7th of May we found out that she was in the early stages of Breast Cancer. Surgery on the 14th of May was followed by chemo. She smiled through all the pain and our love and the future with the baby proved to be the motivation she was looking for to go ahead. I was with her every step of the way standing by her making her laugh loving her immensely because she was like my first born, my best friend, soul mate, business partner, my wife and the future mother of my baby. Both of us used to feel so thrilled and proud whenever we saw our baby’s face on a scan. Then on the 22nd of November she checked in the hospital and complained of breathlessness. She was diagnosed with a weak heart, an after effect of Adreamycin a chemo drug which weakens the heart. Apparently our oncologist chose to not recommend this test for his own reasons and by the time we found out, her heart was functioning only 20% and supporting her and the baby.

December 11, 2011 at 11:00 am
(230) Mohit says:

A Caesarean was scheduled the next day morning and when the morning dawned my wife and baby were gone just two hours before surgery. My wife’s family wasted no time in blaming me for this the doctors ofcourse concurred and they took over our house, business and everything which we had so lovingly set up together. Today I live with a kind friend. The only thing that keeps me going is talking a lot about my wife and all the things she liked and did i miss her laughter, her smile, her warmth, her child like innocence, her sane advice, her kisses and the the way she made me feel like being a better person. I miss coming home to her every evening from work and telling her all about my day and knowing about hers i miss having tea with her every day morning miss seeing her face first thing every day and last thing every night miss touching her baby bump and talking to our baby in her womb. Say what anyone might, no one deserves to go through this pain and misery of an aching heart and a soul less existence every waking moment of the day. I am ready if only he will take me but I know he wont coz god is a coward and he cannot look anyone one of us in the eye and justify what has happened not now not ever.

December 18, 2011 at 3:43 am
(231) InMourning says:

I miss Brandon so much.
I deserve my husband back.

December 27, 2011 at 1:20 am
(232) author says:

My lovely wife passed away 21 Dec not even a week ago We have been together some 40 years. We had a two year battle with her cancer
Some months ago the chemo stopped working and the cancer started to spread rapidly
She had had almost 50 cycles of chemo overall I took her to hospital last week and they said that we are now at the end stage. My lovely wife died with her family around her as I was stroking her hair and talking quietly to her, I watched as the light left her beautiful blue eyes.

The Christmas tree that she put up is still up, the presents are still under the tree, and I will bury her next week, My beloved wife passed away 6 days ago.

I do not feel angry or wish it had happened to someone else, never that, but I feel so sad, she was diagnosed the same year she retired aged 56.

We were told the primary had already sent out secondary,s and it was to be palliative care. There was no cure.

I felt as if I had been thrown into a fast flowing river, I could not look behind me, because that was the past, our lives as we knew them, that was then. This is now, there was no going back, in the far distance was the other side, I could see buildings, it was our future, I was swimming furiously and then I realised, I was never going to reach the other side, the current was taking me fast downstream, I could not go back, that was our past, that was then, the decision to be made ? give up and sink, or pointlessly keep swimming to be carried away downstream to the ultimate end. I have named my imaginary river, The River of Grief.

To those folk that say pull through, look after yourself etc, I say, what is the point of life if it has no value, what is the point of breathing just for breathings sake. We all have to go sometime. I do not want to spend the rest of my life, possibly some 20 years, grieving over my loss, I want to be with my lovely wife. I have the means and one night soon after a few drinks I will be with her.
And my grief will be at an end.

December 27, 2011 at 10:10 pm
(233) Bonnie says:

There have been a few people that has said, oh you were only married for two years and I was married for 36 years so you will get over it faster or you were married for a short time so you will be ok.. I see people write how long they were married when they lost their spouse, but I am here to tell you, it hurts all the same. I knew my husband for a total of 5 years, two of those five we were married, and I miss that man so much it is like I am living thru Hell. So how can I hurt so bad of only two years of marriage compared to a person who has been married for 20 or 50 years? Its what you feel in your heart, how close you were with your spouse, the things you shared together, the way your spouse did something for you… the closeness, the bond you had together.. true soulmates. I will always miss my husband, and my heart has been torn to shreds over losing him… In my opinion, true love has no time attached to it. My heart goes out to all of those who lost a loved one. I also have another opinion, when someone says during a wedding ceremony, Til Death do you part.. I disagree, cause they are always with you in heart, spirit and memory. I have one inspiration, that some day I will be with my husband again in the coming Kingdom. So, until then I will care for myself, enjoy watching my only grandson grow, and cherish every day I can be with my family. It has been a very hard road, my husband passed away May 2, 2011 … he died suddenly, without any warning, in my arms of a massive heart attack at the age of 51 .. the account is still so vivid for me, but at least he died in my arms and not somewhere else.. so I know I have a long road of healing, and its HARD, its HELL.. but I have to keep going. I wish and pray to all of those who have lost a loved one a healing road as well.

December 28, 2011 at 3:28 am
(234) Taico says:

Dear all, I’ve read so many comments, and I can’t even begin to imagine what a lot of you are going through. I was in a relationship with a guy I met for 10yrs… I moved to a different country for him, left my university degree for him, all in the name of love… I wasted so many years of my life, my youth with him. He got a lady pregnant, whom he claimed to be his cousin and married her. I ended up seeing the pictures on FB, it was like someone ripped my heart out and trampled on it. For a long time i couldn’t do anything. I actually popped some pills, but nothing happened. After moving to a different city, I met another guy whom I felt loved me. Because of the pain from my past, I did not treat him well, but along the line I have come to love him, he shows me care, and I loved the way he looked at me. Now with my anger, I think I’ve driven him away to the arms of another. He wants a break, from me. Can my heart cope? It can only take so much heartbreak in a lifetime. Everyday, I beg God for forgiveness, and ask him to return “K” back to me, and I promise to treat him better. I know they say let him go, but I can’t. I just know that this time around, it’s my second and final chance at love. I try to retain my faith, and keep praying, as I know prayer works. To all those who have not fatally lost their spouse… I believe there’s always a chance of reconciliation, you’ll just have to pray like I’m doing. I believe so much that it will work, this is possibly a warning for me to change the error of my ways…. Thank you

January 13, 2012 at 4:16 pm
(235) lia says:

I ve read many comments and I feel sorry for the pain you all feel. I am going through a very hard period as well. I” ve lost my boyfriend in a car accident. We were very connected and it is just unbelievable pain that I feel. People around me say I have to go on and life will bring me something more beautiful but I don’t want anything else and I am just waiting the life to flow as quickly as it can. He used to say I brought colors and light into his life…unfortunately he brought a darkness into mine (not his intention for sure). After his death I started to think if it was love at all…and all the unimportant things…I just felt so confused and weak. Everybody tells me how strong I am because I look ok…but inside I am like after a bomb attack. I feel physical pain in my chest and I sometimes catch myself thinking of “how many more days, years…till I ll be with him again.” I wish it was tomorrow…I am only 28 but I feel like I was 128.

January 18, 2012 at 1:58 pm
(236) Rosa says:

Yes, I truly believe that one can die of a broken heart…at times I wished it was me instead of him that God took on December 17th, 2011. He woke me up in the early morning hours to tell me he was having chest pains and as I jumped out of bed to go make the call he followed me and passed out behind me in our hall – he would never speak another word to me; for God took him from us forever. My husband and I were married 23 years but dated for 4 1/2 years before getting married-we truly had a great marriage together. We have 3 girls and one grandson. The pain I feel is so awful that I feel I could just die sometimes but I know that is part of the grieving process we must all endure during our loss. While my faith is shaken right now and I can’t seem to do much but cry, I know God has a plan for us all and we must believe in our faith to bring us all through our loss. We need not to hide from our feeling, like our broken hearts. Grieving does take time and as it’s said, there is more time than life. It is energy draining. We must allow it to do its work and not by wallowing in self-pity, but by honoring the one we love by embracing grief with loving determination to be a living memorial trough a life that counts for others. May God bless us all and may he lift us all up in his mercy and mend our broken hearts.

January 19, 2012 at 1:05 pm
(237) A Secret says:

I lost someone very dear to me in 2006. He was a secret. A secret to everyone in my life. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I could not help it. I loved him from first sight. Can you die of a broken heart? Absolutely. I willed myself dead for a very long time after he was gone. No one knew he existed so therefore I could not grieve like I really needed to. Stolen moments of tears in the car, tears in the shower, tears in bed at night when everyone is asleep and no body can hear. The stages of grief were so very pronounced. How can you grieve for someone that no one knew about…. I measure every aspect of my life now by that day in 2006. My life is broken into before he died and after he died. It was a distinct, defining moment in my life. They say there are events in life that happen that mark you and you are never, ever the same….this is by far the best example of this other than the birth of my daughter. God speed and God strength to everyone that has shared on this.

January 22, 2012 at 8:36 pm
(238) Jim says:

I cry everyday. I was divorced last February and my ex-wife tookt eh kids the whole way to the east, I am in the West. I mis them so much, my son 7, daughter 11. I have met a wonderful girl who loves me and I over her. My career just took a dip and frankly has been rocky for 10 years. I hate how I feel. My heart hurts physically all day every day. I exercise everyday hoping it will somehow help. I desire to take Hallucinogenic Drugs to escape this ridiculous and cruel reality. As I type this my heart hurts so badly. I wanted to end my life months ago. My heart will NOT stop hurting. The woman I am with has been great. I decided to seek a Jungian Counselor and hope it will help. I feel like I screwed up my kids lives and know mine is basically over. My family has abandoned me after the divorce, and I wish I could just change lives. I ask the “powers” that be to end my suffering every night before I go to sleep each night. I see the therapist this week. Die of a broken heart? Yeah, not seeing my kids is like loosing them to me at least.

January 26, 2012 at 11:18 am
(239) tony says:

i lost my wife, 13 week’s ago, to dvt and pulmonary emboli we was having a laugh on the night time, then i went to bed, around 3 oclock in the morning i awoke, thinking where is the wife, i go up and went down stair’s, and i found her leaning against the wall in the down stair’s toilet, i though she had fell asleep on the fall, but all i could see was bruise’s on her face, where she hit her face on the radiator, so i checked her pulse and i couldn’t find one so i rang the paramedic’s they told me to start CPR, so i did, right up to the point where the paramedic#s turned up, and they took over, but they told me that she had been dead for at least an hour to me finding her, i am so angry that i did not find her sooner, may be i could have helped her, i dont know and now i never will, she was my soul mate, we had been together for 29 year’s and married for 25 year’s, now i find that it is very hard for me to carry on, i feel as if i am all alone with no one to talk about what real happened, i feel people don’t understand what i am going though, my wife meant everything to me we did everything together now i don#t even have that any more, i just want to be with her and when i go to bed at night i feel so alone, all i see is her lying on that floor and i can’t get that image out of my head, and now i don’t get much sleep cause every time i go to bed i wake up at 1,45 till 3.05 every morning and then when it’s time to get up i am that tied i could just go back to sleep. but every day i have to wake up to the heartache of missing my lovely wife all over again, why did he take my gail from me, every day get’s harder and harder, what to do now is the hardest part for me as i dont know if i can go on living, some times i think can you die from a broken heart cause it seam’s as if it is going that way for me.

February 2, 2012 at 1:13 am
(240) Louise says:

I lost my husband one week ago today Jan 25, 2012 I an so lost without him on Feb 4, we would be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary he was only 47 .I have been crying for last 8 days .I can’t sleep I sit here looking at his pictures and say I know you were sick but why did god have to take you away from me .I feel so alone .I feel like why should I move on he is not here with me .We were suppose to die old together that’s what he told me instead your gone all ready .My heart hurts and I want him back I know I need to move on but I can’t seen to do that .I loved him so much that the pain will not seen to go away .so yes you can die from a broken heart I feel like I an

February 5, 2012 at 11:28 am
(241) Lonely says:

What does a person do that has lost their other half? My Husband of 43 years passed away in my arms on 1-5-11, he was my best friend, my soul-mate, my everything. I have cried everyday since and believe me people it doesn’t get any easier. I have a huge hole in my heart that can never be filled. I’m not sure that I even want to continue living without him, I feel so lost and alone. We have been together for so long and I just don’t know what to do without him. He helped with the important decisions, did the taxes and always had the answer to every problem we encountered. I HATE what cancer did to us and I HATE that it won, We never thought it would. He will always be my hero, he fought a long hard fight and because he was brave enough to do so we got to spend another 7 precious years together. It’s been over a year now and it just gets harder. How do I get through each day, this pain is horrid, I can’t breath, I can’t think and I hate everyday that I wake up without him in my life. I long to be with him again and I know it’s just a matter of time before I die of a broken heart.

February 10, 2012 at 4:23 pm
(242) cels says:

I pray that GOD can give us the comfort of our broken hearts. I lost my soulmate of 15yrs. and the pain, lost and numbness that I feel are unbearable. All the feelings,described above I have felt and am feeling. I have wonderful family and friends that offer the comfort and love that I need. It is normal according to the bereavement groups that I have joined to help in this process of grieving. I have joined a bible study, go to church frequently in order to get out of the house and not have to look at the 4 walls that were finally completed into a home. I retired in 9/2011, to have my love pass away from a massive heart attack on 11/27/11 while hunting w/our precious grandson. I hope that GOD will give me the strength to keep on going and believing that I will get through this sorrow. GOD BLESS US ALL!

February 10, 2012 at 4:23 pm
(243) cels says:

I pray that GOD can give us the comfort of our broken hearts. I lost my soulmate of 15yrs. and the pain, lost and numbness that I feel are unbearable. All the feelings,described above I have felt and am feeling. I have wonderful family and friends that offer the comfort and love that I need. It is normal according to the bereavement groups that I have joined to help in this process of grieving. I have joined a bible study, go to church frequently in order to get out of the house and not have to look at the 4 walls that were finally completed into a home. I retired in 9/2011, to have my love pass away from a massive heart attack on 11/27/11 while hunting w/our precious grandson. I hope that GOD will give me the strength to keep on going and believing that I will get through this sorrow. GOD BLESS US ALL!

February 12, 2012 at 9:45 pm
(244) B says:

I grieve for someone who is still alive. My daughter. This precious child that I watched grow from kittens to movies with friends to marriage to children who is throwing it all away for the love of drugs. We have done everything to help, she was committed (legally) to a recovery unit that only kept her for 4 days. She refuses to come live with me because she feels she can’t have her freedom. Her children are in state custody and I haven’t been able to see them for 3 weeks. I finally get to see them this Tuesday….valentine’s day. I saw my daughter Friday night when I took her things to her….I cried all the way home. I don’t even recognize her, she has lost too much weight, shaved her head and is living in a shed with some guy she met. I can’t get her to come home. I can’t believe this pain…I don’t know what else to do….I am so afraid there will come a knock at my door and I will find the Sheriffs there telling that my daughter OD’d. I cry everyday and night because I don’t understand how to help her with the pain that she must be going through that has made her do this. What has made her think her life is not worth it? That her only solace is in the drugs? That no one cares? Have I done this to her?

February 16, 2012 at 8:02 pm
(245) Dali says:

Just today I felt like I was going to die because of a broken heart. Not to long ago I learned that the father of my unborn baby girl cheated on me. I decided to forgive him since it happened last year and he decided to not do it again. I don’t trust him but I feel like I can’t let go, now not. I’m in a very vulnerable state and my hormones are simply out of whack. If we ever leave each other, I prefer for it to happen once she’s born. I couldn’t stop crying ( today) called and text him over 100+ times, I’m not kidding. The pain, the hurt of him… I can’t get over it. Whenever he doesn’t pick up or text me back I think he’s talking to someone else.

I never thought I was going to fall in love with someone as awful as him. He’s a major pot head who doesn’t work or goes to school. He works under the table.

I sometimes believe the reason I can’t let go is because I’m too afraid to start over; I’m known for picking horrible guys and with a baby ( specially a girl ) on the way, I can’t afford to be dating the way I used to. I felt like I was literally dying. I’ve never been so angry and hurt in my entire life. The pain was unbearable. He claims to love me and to never hurt me again but I don’t believe this. He cheated on me with multiple women and even told one of them he was in love with her. He would met up with them and had sex with other two, all while I was pregnant.

I don’t know what to think or what to believe. I’m so scared and hurt. I never thought I would find myself in this situation.

February 17, 2012 at 9:57 am
(246) brandon says:

my tata died from a broken heart 3month afer my nana died he had a heart attach

February 21, 2012 at 4:26 am
(247) tony says:

Yes I can asure everyone you. Can die of a broken heart its happening to me now I’m 43 and I lost a Angel named Wendy on 11;30;2011 she was a one of a kind when she pased I was try to put together some of thoughts together at her memorial and it start with .on this day you died baby and I instantly heard her gently correct me she no Tony Tony and Wendy died on that day oh how right she was , this is to much on this man’s heart she was my world for 16yrs my breath my whole exsistance my soul mate I had it all if it wasn’t for the fact that I still have one youngen at home I. Could of made it happen quicker once you had it all no much to do but wait on my turn so I can be with her .my deepest symphony to everyone who’s going through this or has

February 24, 2012 at 7:42 pm
(248) Elaine says:

My husband was diagnosed with melanoma Cancer in Jan 2010 he went through all his treatments. In Aug I was diagnosed with Breast cancer I had a mastectomy on Sept 27 2010 and on Oct 2011 my husband died, Nov is started treatment for my breast cancer and have survived my orderal. NowI I am feeling lost and miss my husband soooo bad i don’t know what to do. I work all day and come home and do nothing. i don’t want to do anything but Cry it has become so bad that I have started crying at work. I have two sons and I don’t want to tell them what I am going through cause I don’t want them to pay attention to me because i have whinned to them. I just don’t know what to do.. No worrys about suicide I don’t want to die,,, just don’t know what to do to help myself.

March 3, 2012 at 12:46 am
(249) arline says:

I just lost my husband 2 months ago today-we were married 26 years. I happened upon this site and read number 37 stroy. touched in a way that I feel like she wrote for me. i hope she is well at this present time. Everything emotion she wrote about is how I am feeling right now. It is like being tortured.

March 15, 2012 at 6:11 pm
(250) Janice says:

My husband passed away almost 5 months ago, and last month when the tears stopped flowing 24/7, I thought that maybe the pain would stop. It seems that was only a temporary break because with his birthdate slowly approaching, I find my grief is once again consuming me. My dear family and friends have allowed me to lean on them and I have made myself join in with others so that I don’t dwell on it, but it helps only for a little while. I feel like my arm has been cut off…..it’s so difficult to function on a day to day basis. I try to smile and hide the tears because the feeling is so personal. I don’t think you can explain the process of grieving to anyone. You must go through it to understand! Luckily I have not turned to medication or to alcohol to help me. Some of the self-help books are quite good. What I plan to do soon is volunteer in a soup kitchen. Maybe if I feel useful and give to others, I might help myself at the same time. The bottom line is that I miss “John” terribly, and according to others who have been there, it is simply too early for the pain to stop.

March 16, 2012 at 6:11 pm
(251) Pam says:

Dec. 23rd, hate that day! My husband of 27 yrs. had an transplant feb. 2012 and had complications because donor organ was not healthy enough. He suffered many problems from then until finally got on retransplant list but died before it happened of pneumonia. He was under my care at the time (it happened so fast) I think if he would of had nursing care he would have lived. I live w/ that guilt after taking care of him for 14 months to lose the battle in the end. I am so in love w/ him and am so lost now, I knew this was a possibility but had no idea how badly it hurts, my heart feels gone! I cry and cry to relieve the pressure. How does one live on? I am so afraid to keep living and so afraid to die. It seems I’m not alone…but so alone!

March 16, 2012 at 9:01 pm
(252) gkool says:

I lost my family when my fiance of 7 years left with our 3 year old daughter. I love them so much it hurts so much to be without them I am now dead inside I have no desire to live. They were my life I can’t live without them in my life. I have since lost everything house, car, job. I’m homeless and don’t see why God just won’t take my life. My heart is broken as well as me. I hope to soon die.

March 16, 2012 at 11:13 pm
(253) kevin says:

I recently lost my wife on Feb 19. We were together for almost 11 years. Got married in 09. She passed in her sleep of a heart attack. The love we had for eachother was unbelieveable. I miss and love her so much. But I ended up in hospital with a blood clot in my leg. Recently got out, pain is still in leg, all I keep thinking about is her. I’m only 40, she was 47. Not to sure how to cope with it even after everyone tells you that that we were true soulmates.

March 26, 2012 at 2:40 am
(254) MaryBeth says:

I lost my husband of 26 years the day before our 27th anniversary unexpectantly with a massive heart attack at the age of 46. He was my best friend, soul mate, father of my children and my pastor. I’m lost without him. He died dec 21st of 2011. It’s been 3 months and occasionally i’ll have a good couple days that seem better and think…okay the worst is over… Then the grieving will seem worse than ever for a few days or weeks. I know everyone keeps saying it takes time but I don’t think i’ll ever be better. I don’t talk to my boys about how I’m doing- I try to grieve in silence because I know they are hurting also and I don’t want them to have to worry about me. I prayed tonight that God would take me too. I know I don’t mean it because I can’t imagine my boys going through this again but the pain is so unbearable. My husband and I had been together since we were 16. I wasn’t close to anyone else but him and my kids and they have they’re own lives. My oldest is married and the youngest is away at college. The house is so empty. I’ve read a couple of other posts of women like me going through similar situations and wish we could meet slid talk somehow. My husband was fine and went to bed…got up and complained of his chest and died a few minutes later. My neighbor and I did CPR till the ambulance got here but they pronounced him at the hospital. I wish I had some kind of warning. I feel like I’m in the angry stage. I love God with all my heart but just can’t understand “why” this had to happen. I didn’t get to say bye. He only got to enjoy his grandson for 3 weeks. My life feels so empty. I have friends but nothing fills that space in my heart.

March 27, 2012 at 1:22 am
(255) Kristine Hale says:

To #244 My heart breaks for you. My husband Cory just passed away on Jan 25th. He had a pulmonary adema and died due to his drug addiction. He was only 27 years old, 5 years with his just wasn’t enough. I know where your coming from about the weight loss and everything. I watched my husband go from a rehab to sober to what he was when he passed away. My husband was about 190 in June/July and when he died he was only 145, this is horrible for my husband. It’s heartbreaking and I wish I could just hug you. I don’t know your pain being a mother but I can tell you I’ve watched my mother in law suffer. The night he died, the police called to ask me for some information on him, they wouldn’t tell me what was going on. I knew then he was dead because I felt this empty feeling come over me. Then a hour later I got the knock on the door, it was my worst nightmare coming true. My baby love, my soulmate, my husband was dead from these horrible drugs..How could this happen? He was getting high one last time so he could go to rehab, it makes me so mad to know he was ready for help. He left behind 2 little boys age 3 and 6. It’s just not fair. I really do think that you can die of a broken heart. I may be physically here but I’m dead inside. I’ve read so many peoples posts in here and it breaks my heart. I wish there was someway to stop anyone from feeling this unbearable pain. I understand how everyone wants to die but like a gentleman who posted in here, I too have to carry on for my boys. It’s hard, believe me. I just know its not fair for my kids to lose both parents. To #244 I hope your daughter gets better and you can have your family back, these drugs are a horrible thing. I will prayer for you and your family, and everyone else on here.

March 27, 2012 at 7:23 am
(256) Jackie says:

My most unforgetable husband of 55 years passed away 5 months ago of spinal cancer. During the entire time we were together it was really like “heaven on earth”. He was the most extrodinary person I have ever known. We raised two wonderful sons that gave us four beautiful granddaughters. He was diagnosed in November 2008 and suffered through chemo and many tests and treatments until the day he passed away. I am so thankful he is no longer suffering with that terrible pain. My heart actually aches 24 hours a day because I miss him so desperately. Even though he has been gone for only a short time and my grief is overwhemling, I know in my heart God had a purpose for him, which was to touch the lives with his goodnes and presence with so many children, families and educators during the years he was in education. He also made me aware of the wonder
and magic that a relationship can have. I know in my heart it is now my turn to find my purpose while I wait for the time to be with him. The last words he said to my as he held my hand were “I’ll be waiting for you my darling.’ I wish you all the peace and acceptance in your grief that I am trying to find as well. God bless you all.

April 6, 2012 at 8:28 pm
(257) jane says:

My beloved Mark, my husband of almost 5 years, died 8 days ago, completely unexpectedly, after complications following emergency surgery. He was 60, I am 64. After being widowed once before at an early age, and then a couple of disasterous relationships after that, he and I met, and in each other we found each other’s other half. We were together constantly, laughing, talking, had everything in common. I have been through losses before–besides the other relationships, my parents’ deaths as well…but have never known such pain as this. The house is unbearably lonely. I have two wonderful sons and also grandchildren, and the boys are there for me and so supportive, but everyone has their own life too. I cry whenever I am alone. How will I…how can I, live without him? He used to say, “I love you, I adore you,” to me each and every day because he said so many men never say that to their wives. Now I will never hear him say it again. I loved him completely, he died holding my hand. I am hoping so much that my heart will stop. I want to die so so badly. I cannot, c annot, endure this pain. I love you, Mark!

April 6, 2012 at 8:30 pm
(258) jane says:

next month would have been our 5th anniversary…April 22, Earth Day. It is inscribed with our initials on our wedding rings. how does one endure such sorrow? how??????

April 8, 2012 at 5:52 am
(259) Angela says:

My husband died two weeks ago and like a lot of you I don’t feel I can cope. Today is Easter and I am alone. My children tell me not to think about it but this is impossible especially on holidays and Sundays (workdays are much easier) I realise that only someone else who has been through the same thing can understand.My husband had been ill for a very long time and I looked after him (sometimes losing my temper, for which I feel really guilty) I told him I would go with him when he went but now I don’t know, it’s a possibility I keep in mind.

April 9, 2012 at 12:10 am
(260) lori anton says:

My beloved husband of 44 yrs died on March 30th of this year. We just buried him. Death was unexpected although he was a diabetic and that was a contributing factor I believe , I am lost. My best friend, the father of my child. The one person in all my life whose handsome face I enjoyed looking at everyday we were together. It may not have been all those years of peaches and cream but we built a huge reserve of good times and private jokes and just plain comfort in being together. I really cannot imagine how I will go on—only my religious faith will sustain me in the coming years. the “good Joe”. The man without enemies who always smiled and had time for a quick chat. I miss his voice and his touch and everything about ou togeherness and hope this strange feeling of aloneness and fear pass with time. Never dreamed how intense the pain would be. words cannot possibly describe the depth of the pain.

April 15, 2012 at 3:59 am
(261) shawn says:

my grandfather fell ( being 95 ) on April 1st and was in alot of pain so the care giver thought he may have broke his hip and called 911 .

they came and picked him up and took him into sussex , a doctor cam e and seen him and gave him some medication for the pain and had set up a surgery in saint John in-case the hip was broken , they some x-rays done and it was found that he didn’t break his hip so they cancelled the trip to saint John but still wouldn’t admit my grandfather even him being in alot of pain .

they told the family he would need 24/7 family care and gave him medication for pain and sent him home cause they didn’t have enough beds .

Other than being in lots of pain he was fine for the next few days until Friday when the pain was too much and they took him back in only to be “told there was nothing wrong with him , just continue the pain meds and he will be fine in a few days ”

he went to bed that night as normal but when my cousin went to wake him up the next morning he wouldn’t wake up … fearing he may be dead she called 911 and they came right away and the paramedics said he was still alive but unresponsive ( wouldn’t open his eyes or verbulay respond ) and had laboured breathing .

he stayed unresponsive and had trouble breathing the rest of satuday and didn’t show any improvement into the night , he slept and woke up the next morning and passed away around 4:30 that day .

we buried him on friday and its now sunday morning and my grief is almost to much im not eating or sleeping and dont know how to cope im finding it very hard and am worried i may do harm to myself

April 16, 2012 at 8:15 pm
(262) Kelly says:

I lost the love of my life 31 days ago. I have stop crying and i am so afraid when it is going to hit again.I feel this horrible home sick feeling and when I go home it is so much worse.I just dropped of 2 grand baby’s and here I am sitting in the truck not wanting to go in.I have just went in the house and yell his name hoping this is just a bad dream.this pain is so bad I can’t even breath some minutes. My hole world is gone. He was the light hearted one of us I would worry and he say just leave it to me baby.we would finish each other sentences. People come over and I would talk but he was the one that made everybody laugh now we don’t even know what to say.The only thing that is helping is work,and family.

Please baby just come home
I am waiting I love you with my hole heart!!!!

April 22, 2012 at 8:06 am
(263) Robin says:

My situation is different from most here, but I wish my heart would just stop beating and functioning already. I’m in constant emotional pain every waking moment.

I have a 2 year old son with a young woman and they live in San Diego. I am in the military stationed at North Dakota. I hate it here. But I’ve only known my son to be mine since July 2011. I visited him for a week, then deployed for 6 months shortly. I pay child support without the court having to tell me. I’m not a deadbeat. But my son’s mom treats me like a deadbeat. She takes me for granted and places much more importance on her friends and her life in San Diego over raising my son together. She has a low paying job that takes advantage of her that she can easily leave. I provide for her and our baby so much and she rarely expresses gratitude. While I was deployed, she emailed me saying that she wishes we could be together for our son’s sake. Then a couple of months later, she posted a singles profile on the internet telling the world she’s single looking and available. She dangled that one thing I want in life the most then did something else behind my back. I miss my son so much and have only been with him for 15 days. She grew up without a father and she hated it, but she’s only repeating this pattern for our son because of her selfishness and unwillingness to sacrifice. I hate her. She makes me feel so worthless everyday knowing she’s looking for new love while I’m half a country away providing and sorely missing my son yet she doesn’t seem to care.

I go to bed sometimes asking God or any powerful spirit to just take my life away while asleep. I hate waking up every single morning because it means I’m still alive, only to face another full day of pain. Please God, let me die already.

April 24, 2012 at 4:04 pm
(264) Gordon says:

Hello Ann
I know exactly how you feel I have just lost my wife suddenly, we were together for 17 years and I prayer each night god will take me. I have eaten now for three weeks so I hope death will come soon and I can be with her.

April 25, 2012 at 11:55 pm
(265) Kristi says:

I sometimes find it so hard to believe that we could be created to experience so much heartache and be expected to stay healthy, let alone live. I lost my souldmate on March 30th, 2012 to a heartattack at 39 years of age. The roller coaster of emotions is exhausting from minute to minute. My chest hurts when I lose all my senses and get lost in this black hole that I am afraid I may never come out of. I hate when I feel this way. I know that he would want me to hang on and heal, I know I would hurt friends and family. For now that has been enough to banish the thought in my head. But I am sooo tired. This constant struggle to maintain level thinking is killing me. I go to work, I smile, I remain kind and do my best to stay positive. But this feeling of ultimate loss and devastation is more that anyone should have to bear. I so badly hope that the pain I feel in my chest is my heart slowly giving away. I’m afaid of losing this battle and no amount of therapy is going ease the pain. Only time…..right now my life is in its hand.

May 2, 2012 at 9:52 am
(266) Steven says:

My son, age 19, had a massive heart attack this morning. It is concluded that the cause was ‘stress cardiomyopathy’ aka ‘broken heart syndrome’. His girlfriend of 5 years, with whom he was going to propose to this summer, cheated on him. Before the heart attack he tried over dosing on medication two times. This is an extremely difficult time for my family and I. To watch him go through such unbearable pain makes us hurt for him.

May 3, 2012 at 7:55 am
(267) Eileen says:

I am sorry for all your pain. I found this website last night because I, too, do not want to live. My beloved husband died 11 months ago after living with a devastating neurological illness. Life has no meaning for me. I feel hopeless.

May 3, 2012 at 10:04 pm
(268) Jo says:

I can understand how everyone here feels. My husband of 15 years died 6 days ago. I’m sitting here alone surrounded by flowers from the service. The pain is unbearable. I feel so lost and hopeless. I just don’t know what to do. My world ended and I lost everything the day he died.

May 3, 2012 at 11:38 pm
(269) wombat says:

The comments on this site are so sad. Grief is not felt until it is experienced This is my 2nd comment. I lost my lovely wife due to cancer 21/12/12. We had been together for 40 yrs she was 58yrs,

She was my life, she was every thing to me. I ask to be taken. Why do people who do not want to go are taken, yet people like me whose dream it is not to wake up every morning are fit / healthy and left to suffer and grieve.

I pretend that she is still with me, I have photos of her around the house that I touch. Her ashes are in a jar, we sit outside on our verander and chat. I take her ashes to bed with me at night and cuddle them. If I have to go on a long trip in the car she comes with me for comfort.

Strange, weird, stuck in the past, no future, all of that, but its my life and suddenly life is not as precious as it once was.
wombat

May 5, 2012 at 6:30 am
(270) joyce says:

I have just finished reading the book ” Arise from Darkness, what to do when life doesn”t make sense” by Benedict Groeschel. I would pick it up and read it in those times when I had no one to talk to or when I felt alone and my grief was inconsolable. It really helped me get through “those moments”. EVERYONE GOES THROUGH GRIEF IN THEIR OWN UNIQUE WAY! The words in this book helped me. I think they can help anyone. May you have PEACE ! All my love.

May 11, 2012 at 12:42 am
(271) Kristi says:

So sorry for all of your losses. :( Thank you for sharing all your stories. I, in a strang way, don’t feel as alone anymore. They say time heals, but I am finding it harder each day to deal with his death. I have lost all my happiness. I feel like I am just meandering through the days inside my head. I want so much to find some way to just rememember the wonderful times and be thankful for the time we did have, but the void I have in my heart and soul won’t let me. Sigh** I look forward to the day I pass so I can be with him again, but with my luck I will live a long, lonely life without him. There is no one else for me. That is how I choose to honor him and the love he showed me everyday.

May 13, 2012 at 9:29 pm
(272) S says:

My heart goes out to all of you. I lost my beautiful wife on May 6th after a very long, gruelling, and devastating but ultimately graceful and heroic struggle in the hospital. She was very young, but had terminal cancer.

She was the most beautiful, kind, person I know. Full of grace, she was the love of my life. We were together for twelve years. I know I will love her always and I will remember her always. She will forever be in my heart.

I’ve felt many times I was going to die from a broken heart. And I know we all feel that way, and maybe even wish it. But I remember a few thoughts my wife and I traded during her stay in the hospital. I wanted to share because I read so much despair in some of the responses.

I hope it is of help to some of you to carry on and find some happiness.

My wife, through her grace and beauty, has made me a better person. I am part of her legacy. I hope the rest of my life can somehow honor her; I owe it to her to not give up on life. She fought so hard to live, and we understood that life is so precious…

Also my sadness and grief is the price I must pay for the depth and beauty of our love. I cherish every second of our time together, so if I have to suffer to have experienced her love, then I suppose I have to accept it.

We are not alone in our grief. It is a universal human condition. Seven billion people on earth, and every one of the seven billion will die within the next 150 years. And each time, people will grieve. We can get through this.

I broke down and cried like a baby for a good ten minutes after writing the first sentence in this post. I hesitated to continue. But I guess I made it to the end. Hopefully writing this will help. Help me, or help others.

May you all find peace and happiness again.

May 16, 2012 at 12:37 am
(273) Mary says:

My husband died of liver cancer on March 31, 2012. We were married almost 33 years and i have been with him since I was 19. This is so difficult. Each time I have a few good days I feel I am beginning to cope and then a wave of emotions comes again. I hear a song, I smell his aftershave or I find a note with his writing. The loss is so overwhelming and I just want to be with him. I have a daughter who is 17 and I have to force myself to be a mother each day. I think about not being with him for the next 30 years of my life until I die and I feel that it too much to bear. I often feel angry because he left me. I am afraid I will forget his voice, his walk the contour of his body and the curls in his hair. I pray each night for him to come to me in my dreams and to help me through life.

May 19, 2012 at 8:24 am
(274) joshua says:

I’ve been reading the comments on this page for a long time now looking for strength. I found it here. Thank you all for being brave enough to share with others. For three years I spent almost every waking moment wishing the pain would end. Seconds were turned into hours, and hours years. I stopped coming here a few months ago. Something changed in my life and the pain, although still here from time to time, is small in comparison to what it was. Im not going to go into why I’m here, just that its the same reason you’re all here. Pain. I found this page bookmarked in my favorites and decided to stop in. Its amazing now, reading new comments, that I’ve forgotten the true agony. Not that I felt it, but the feeling itself. I think that’s maybe the worst part of the pain itself, knowing that you’ll forget, and that forgetting is a type of betrayel. Its not, and it actually does get better. I always hated hearing that, but its true. I just wanted to share that with all of you who gave me strength when I needed it. Hang on tight, and remember the reason you’re feeling the pain can almost be called selfish, and a betrayel to the memory of the person you love most. They would want you to be happy, not to know that loving them is what killed the one they loved.

May 20, 2012 at 11:34 pm
(275) Gemma says:

i lost my husband of 7 years and my love of my life passed away last april 27, 2012. Im about to went home last april 20 he said that he are going to fetch me but after 30 mins i received a call to my sister telling me that jason was rushed to the hospital. he had a stoke, his at coma, he cannot breath on his own the doctor told me that its only a matter of time before his body give up, but i cannot accept it, we transfer him to other hospital hoping and praying that he will recover. but he didnt on his last night i see him suffered so much. now each day passed w/o him is so lifeless. i almost do everything w/ him , his the reason why i have dreams my world revolve around him. although our relationship is not perferct together w/ almost 14 years but its been a most beutiful things happen to me. were both 33 years old only. i like to die right now the pain is becoming worse each day that crying is not even enough im very afraid the thinking of living my life w/o him. the pain is so intense its like killing me every time. there a minutes of the day that i am at peace but most of the time i am crying hard i really want to die to be w/ him again
i still pray that its all just a dream and i will wake up one morning that jason is still alive and we will grow old together and we will remarry on our 50 years anniversary .
We have many dreams i have many thing want to do with him i feel guilty on all my shortcomings to him. im really looking forward to see him again and tell him how much i love him and how much sorry i am for all the pain i cause him.

May 22, 2012 at 10:05 am
(276) walter hanna says:

I just lost my wife of 42 years. We fell in love 42 years ago as soon as we laid eyes upon each other and looked into each others eyes. we were engaged to be married in three weeks and married four weeks later. our marriage had some ups and downs, we even got divored early on but to come back together shortly thereafter. I loved her with all my heart and soul. I lost her on Fedruary 26, 2012. I had a celebration of life at our home last week. the amazing thing happened was from God. We let the children release three baloons into the sky. The ballons traveled up into the sky. on their early travel, one balloon was out of formation and it looked like someone actually moved the baloon into exact formation. They traveled higher and higher toward the clouds. I look up again and they were heading straight to a “cross” that had formed of clouds. it was amazing, a perfectly made cross of clouds that was perched above the clouds. I immediately made everyone aware of what I was seeing, and now everyone else was seeing what I first saw. there were three round circles just to the right of the cross made up of clouds in pefect spacing and same sizes. BAsically representing myself and my two sons.
The message was from God and my wife Kaye. I am searching for the meanings, but probably never know for certain. The three circles must be from Kaye, my wife to our family. The “Cross” is from God. I will pray that I can live up to my many challenges ahead in my life.

June 2, 2012 at 8:07 pm
(277) Susan says:

I’m so glad to have found this sight. I just lost my husband/best friend on May 17,2012. It’s only been 3 weeks but it seems like I grow sadder as each day passes. We were inseparable and did everything together. We have been together the last 14 years and would’ve celebrated our 10th anniversary this coming September. Everyday I wake up longing to see him or hear his voice, I sit out at the cemetery talking to him. I feel like there is this huge hole in my heart. I know everyone says with time I will feel better but I wonder if that is true. I try to stay strong and went back to work. Everyone is wonderful my friends and family. I pray alot and pray to God to just let me know that he’s ok and happy where he’s at. Thank you everyone for your stories it helps. God bless you all!!

June 4, 2012 at 3:14 pm
(278) Cligosolo says:

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June 5, 2012 at 9:42 am
(279) Lisa says:

Broken heart. Broken dreams. My sweet, loving son passed away in Oct. At the tender age of 13. He battled brain tumors and leukemia for 11 years. Thomas was the light of my life, and my reason for being. Our relationship was the most precious gift anyone could ever have. Our 2 souls were 1. I have no other children, and am proud to be Thomas’ mommy always. I am divorced (happily). I always believed that my son would always be with me, bc it would be too sad if Thomas was gone. Well, he is gone to heaven. Don’t tell me he is in a better place. That better place is here with me. Don’t tell me he is not in pain. I know that already. I can’t wait to be reunited w Thomas. If I didn’t believe in God, I would have killed myself already. My religion teaches that if u do that, u will not be reunited w ur loved ones. I can’t take that chance. So I wait, in agony, counting the minutes until I will be with my beautiful son.

June 11, 2012 at 5:17 am
(280) Jeanette says:

To Susan (277), I also lost my husband on May 17, 2012. We were going to celebrate our 15yr wedding anniversary in Septemeber. I have stayed awake many nights reading these comments and never thought that I would actually post something. My husband died while helping my disabled father get home from the doctor. I was sleeping in-between shifts and was loudly woken up with my sister yelling at me that my husband had a heart attack. On the way to the hospital I begged God not to take my husband. I tried to bargain with him. It didnt work. I am not a church going woman, but the pain was soooo intense for 3 full days and nights that I really felt that dying could never hurt as bad as I was hurting at that time. I do know that I HAD to pray that God would take that pain away. I didnt feel I could live another day with the pain in my heart/chest. The pain did subside. I was barely able to make it through the service and the nights have been soooo lonely. He was my everything. We have knowm each other for 31 years and my life will never be the same without him. I feel bad that I take some comfort in knowing that I am not alone in my feelings. I am sorry for each and everyone of your losses. I hope things do get easier (as they say) but I am also having a hard time believing they will. Thank you all for reading my story.

June 23, 2012 at 2:53 am
(281) LD says:

I found this site 4 days after my husband lost his battle with cancer, on OCT 2010. I was going to end my life at that time, the posts here gave me strength to carry on. I still miss him every day, but the pains has gotten more bearable, because i know he wanted me to keep on living. Ty to all that post here

June 24, 2012 at 11:44 am
(282) mike says:

my wife terri passed away suddenly a week ago,we were just sitting on the couch when she was stricken,we were married 1 month short of 25 yrs,we had our problems and there were many times i wanted to leave,in fact the day before she did something really dumb with our checkbook and i said i had it,she had been suffering from depression for sometime and was being treated for it,she apologized the same nite,and i told her,youve done some pretty bone-head things since we have been married and i forgave you each time,why should i stop forgiving you now,i believe she died knowing i forgave her,her death was very sudden,the paramedics did all they could,now its like im in a trance,ive got family around and theyve been nothing but great,but i wake up im the morning and wondering if getting out of bed is worth it,im a christian and so was terri,she had her issues;2 abusive marriages,a rape,an abortion she felt she could never forvive herself for,and i told her many times when you gave yuor life to the lord,he wiped the slate clean,she tried to battle her demons but i believe god said she has had enough and took her home.my heart aches everyday,we had planned to buy a retirement home down south,and get involved in the old car hobby,now it doesnt seem to have any reason anymore,i still am going thru her things to give to goodwill but i feel it building up inside of me and i cant stop it,when terri died,a good chunk of me died as well,i know it will get better,i wish it wouldnt hurt so much,if you read the papers,you know from a christian prospective the whole world has lost its mind and im reminded of 1 thessalonians chap 4 vs 16-18.that day cannot come soon enough,i miss terri something awful.

July 9, 2012 at 10:47 am
(283) Cyndi says:

I lost my husband…my best friend 5 1/2 years ago. He was 24 years older than me and I guess I always knew he would go before me but never really wanted to believe it would happen. We owned our own business and were together 24 / 7, so when he died it felt like I lost one of my limbs. There were and still are days when I just want God to take me home so I can be with my husband. There is not a day that goes by where I don’t think about him and miss him. I know there is so much here to live for and so much to be grateful for but it never changes the fact that he is gone and I am left here to try and carry on. Very hard to do!!

July 9, 2012 at 2:53 pm
(284) RAB says:

God left me ALONE in this world with noone to trust. I have always been ALONE. I hope that I die just to get some PEACE. Tomorrow is a significant day for me. I am afraid that it will or will not come. I don’t know which option is best.

July 14, 2012 at 8:20 pm
(285) Kristie says:

My boyfriend was just killed in Canby Or, on Tuesday July, 10, 2012… He worked for Knife River, and was working on the road…his name was Greg Priest… He was the love of my life… and i was his… we both have been through hell and back, and finally found each other…and he taught me that i could lean on him, for strength, and didnt have to have all the answers right now. he taught me to trust in love again. and we fell so deeply in love.. the love where you miss each other, the minute you have to leave them, or that ache you feel when you havent seen them all week for work, and that sigh of relief when he scoops you up in his arms when he gets home… I dont how to get past this…my heart is so shattered…everything i do, or see, in my house reminds me of him… we weve been moving into his house for the past 3 weeks… now having to move everything back to my house….being in his house without him is so hard, but also a comfort… ive never cried so much…and its not lessening… i need him, and miss him so much… dying from a broken heart seems so possible…

July 29, 2012 at 1:23 pm
(286) Rhea says:

My boyfriend I broke up several months ago as he found sombidy else. I am nothing compare to her. :( I love him so much and now only Ipray to God is to give me the strength to carry on because its too much painful that I cant bear the pain anymore it feels like im dying :(

It affects my health and my mind now. How long can a heart will be healed please i need to move on and bring my life back

August 1, 2012 at 9:23 pm
(287) arlene says:

my husband passed 2 months ago. we were together almost 42 years. i have some physical ailments and he was taking care of me. i really don’t think i’ll live much longer. just want to get a new will done and have my affairs in order.

August 3, 2012 at 4:20 pm
(288) Beautiful says:

Aloha! I lost my husband to Anaplastic thyroid cancer on 1 July 2012. He battled this disease for 11 months. We also have a 9 month old son together.

My husband was a romantic. He loved showering me with his love and gifts (I never wanted them…just wanted him). We have known each other since we were 11. The 13th was our 4 year wedding anniversary. We were together for 7 years.

We were always best friends. He always said that when I walked into the classroom in 7th grade, he knew I would be his wife. My husband, always the romantic. When he was 15, he tattooed my name on his left arm.

I miss him soo much it’s difficult to breathe sometimes. I hold back my tears “so I can function” throughout the day. Our son keeps me pretty distracted. I am not angry or resentful of my husband. I’m soo proud of him. He fought so hard. We always thought he would beat this disease. He was a healthy 34 year old.

I miss him everyday. The quiet times are the worse. We did EVERYTHING together. People always teased us that we were joined with an umbilical cord because we were always so nurturing and loving towards each other.

I love being his wife. We just had his celebration last Wednesday. I didn’t realize how many people would come to honor my husband. He was a police officer.

There are two things that get me thru the day: knowin he is no longer in pain and our son. My heart aches for my husband. I miss him reassuring me that everything will be ok. I miss him holding me when life just hits me hard. I miss the smell of his skin. But, I know no matter how much I miss him, I gave my all to take care I my husband and I need to do the same for our son.

I wish I was with my husband. I told him that before he passed……”you won’t realize how much time will pass before I get there….unfortunately, I will…….”

I talked to him often but it’s not without tears. I have moved back home to be with family. I just want my husband. My home is with him.

August 3, 2012 at 5:37 pm
(289) Alli says:

I lost my dad(daddy)recently. He had health problems and problems with his heart and I wish I could be with him. I wish I could see him one more time. I didn’t get to see him the day he died and I wish I went down to see him when he came home and I could of called 911 sooner. I try to think he’s at peace but wish I could see him one more time or go back in time.

August 4, 2012 at 2:25 am
(290) Christopher says:

This is so true I recently broke up with my girlfriend we were soulmates we broke up the day before we were to get married and ever since the heart ache I feel is terrible I write letters to her everyday only to know she will never read them I wear the ring knowing she isnnever going to come back and it hurts so bad and everyday it gets harder and harder to keep going I can see the effects in my face every morning when I look in the mirror and I dont think I have much longer before I pass away from cardiomyapthy

August 4, 2012 at 6:22 pm
(291) ButchF says:

I believe it is possible to die from a broken heart. My girlfriend/common law wife of 8 and a half years left me suddenly. I took it so hard i tried to kill myself with pills, the cops found me before i calapsed tho and i was treated and released two days later. I want to die! I hate my life! I sleep all the time to escape the pain. It’s been almost one month now and i can’t hardley get myself off the couch…i dont want to eat, or drink, i just want to die, the pain is too great!

August 8, 2012 at 5:33 pm
(292) Tom'sRose says:

my heart goes out to allsuffering this type of loss.Itsucks . Hopeful that Gods grace will heal us. There seems to be no linear timeline for emotional recovery.My Dear Tom passed 6 weeks ago between flag day and independance day he was proud Air Force and loved his country as profoundly as God and myself. I have been a very lucky woman for 38 wonderful years. I guess its selfish and ungreatful to have wanted so much more of Tom’s precious time He never missed an opportunity to show me his loveHe believed in man’s stewardship of the Earth as commanded by God. Animals and children sensed his kindness, the evil avoided him because they were transparent to him.Regards from J.S.Mosby and all the Edwardians. Together in Heaven my Love

August 8, 2012 at 6:27 pm
(293) Tom'sRose says:

August 8.,2012 I believe you can die if a broken heart.Untimely death honors noone.Believe me I would like nothing better than to have my dear Tom restored to life .;or me relinquished to Paradise with him. He passed during summer solstace. Boy did he hate the cold! I had asked the Dr. if one of my kidneys would help him but I wasnt the right match what he really needed was a new heart. metaphorically I gave him mine 38 years ago. Thirteen years ago the Drs. gave him 2years at most to live.You might say the Lord gave us a lot of bonus time together. Back then he arrested .Myself and an emt started cpr then the ambulance people did the rest.Yes 1999 was a good year.I do not know what ithe Lords agenda will be in the near future but a hot tub for me and Tom in Heaven would be divine.

August 11, 2012 at 3:26 pm
(294) Paula Zenick says:

My Husband, Richard died on March 16,2012 !! I am LOST !!! I’m heartbroken, devistated and no longer want to live!! We liovef each other thru thick and thin
and he was my first and only love!!!! I really do want to die, I have noone and all we both had was each other!!
I’m 63 and there is nothing left for me !! We did everything together and NEVER did I ever in my worst nightmare think he’d die and leave me completely alone!!!!!! I don’t want help, there is no remedy, I just want to die!!!!

August 17, 2012 at 9:02 am
(295) Melanie says:

I don’t know where to begin. My situation is so complicated. The love of my life hasn’t died and he still loves me, but he’s been forced by the duty of a prior commitment to an arranged marriage and two children to leave me and return to a life in India, thousands of miles away from our wonderfully happy few years in the UK.

He misled me a little about his situation when we first met – he lived in another country from his wife so it was easy to believe that he was separated, but all he wanted was to be happy and have the sort of loving relationship that most of us want. I was 44 when we met and for the first time in my life I wasn’t settling for second best in a relationship and the whole fairy-tale had come true. We spent every moment of the day together unless it was absolutely essential to be apart (rarely more than a few hours in a week) and we were so incredibly happy.

Since finding out about me in February his family demanded his return to India (family commitments override everything else in Indian families with pressure from the whole extended family) and he was forced to leave me on 7th April. Since then I can’t sleep, I can’t work (I’m self-employed so it’s difficult to motivate myself as I work from home), I cry all the time, drink far more than is good for me and I can’t imagine a life where I never see him again.

I was truly happy for the first time in my life and now I don’t know how to survive without him. He is my best friend as well as my lover and we shared everything, held hands all the time, and I miss him so much. He made me feel safe and loved and I know I can never be happy again. I’m not yet 50 and will never again know the joy of feeling his arms around me. I don’t want to cope with this pain for the rest of my life and the only reason I’m still alive is that I have our two dogs to care for.

August 17, 2012 at 9:03 am
(296) Melanie says:

I know I’m incredibly lucky to have had the sort of love that most people never find and I appreciated how lucky I was every single day we were together, but when you’ve had a love so special you know that there will never be anyone else so how can you possibly move on?

His life will be hell in India compared with the life we had here and his family will never forgive him so I’m terribly worried about him, but there’s nothing either of us can do. To be abandoned by someone who still loves and adores you is so hard to understand. I know he felt he had no choice so I can’t get angry at him and he cried every day before he had to leave.

How can I get myself strong enough to be able to work? If I don’t earn some money soon I’ll end up homeless, but I just don’t seem able to cope with anything any more. It’s more than four months but it isn’t getting any easier – if anything, now that the shock has worn off, the pain seems to be even worse.

I pray that we will meet again in another life and be able to have a happy life together next time around.

August 17, 2012 at 9:08 am
(297) Melanie says:

Time does not bring relief; you all have lied
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!
I miss him in the weeping of the rain;
I want him at the shrinking of the tide;
The old snows melt from every mountain-side,
And last year’s leaves are smoke in every lane;
But last year’s bitter loving must remain
Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide!
There are a hundred places where I fear
To go,–so with his memory they brim!
And entering with relief some quiet place
Where never fell his foot or shone his face
I say, “There is no memory of him here!”
And so stand stricken, so remembering him!

August 19, 2012 at 9:54 pm
(298) Sue says:

It has been 6 months since my husband of 46 years passed away. I had been his constant caregiver since he was diagnosed with mulitple myeloma 4 years ago. I have always taken care of most everything that had to do with our home because of his profession, which kept him very busy. I felt sure I could handle things after his passing and I have done everything he wanted me to do. We were blessed to have the benefit of time…time to plan and be prepared for his death. I have been able to take care of things during the day, however, I am so lonely at night. Nights are when we shared our day, our feelings, watched sports, and were able to complete each day together. We were blessed to have two adult daughters and 5 grandchildren but none of them can replace him or comfort me like he could. Sometimes I wish I could just leave this earth and join him, it is so lonely here. Half of me is missing; he was my idenity. He and I were one person. My heart aches for you, my love.

August 20, 2012 at 9:50 am
(299) Mercedes says:

Joe bidens word is inspiring. I lost my finance from a heart attack a month ago. I feel like I cant breathe it hurts so bad. Just trying to keep busy so I dont think about it.

August 25, 2012 at 11:00 am
(300) David says:

two years ago i had an actcident at work and since then i have been fighting workmans com to this day still so now im taking medication for depertion over that but just on 8-23-12 i lost my son im not going to say how he died because me and my family have alot of unanswered questens that happen at the hospital the night he was addmided he was 30 years old and left behind 5 wonderful kids my grand kids since then i have not stopped crying and i am a very strong heart person if that makes sinces i dont cry easy but after the death of my son i just dont want to be in this world no more but i know that my grand kids and my wife and two other sons i have need me but this son that died i di not live with he lived with his grandparents away from me so as he grew up i got him on sertand days but i loved him very much i need help with this and i dont know how to tell my family and im scared i am going to do something stupid i am the most kindest person you could ever meet but latly i find my self yelling at my family and freinds im hiding from everybody dont know what else to say except i cant take it no more please help

August 26, 2012 at 5:25 pm
(301) charlene says:

I have lost the love of my life and soulmate after 40+ years together. We took him to the doctor with back pain on August 7th and he died on August 11th from renal cancer. I am in shock, numb and still in disbelief of his death. We had our ups and downs but we were truely best friends and ‘joined at the hip’. His memorial was yesterday and it was a beautiful tribute to the wonderful and loving man that he was. I thought yesterday would be the most difficult part; yet, I find that probably the most difficult part will be in the days to come. The house is so empty, his essence is everywhere (we have been in the same house for 35+ years). I want to run from this but know that there is nowhere to run…. How does one ever get through this awful pain and emptiness….. I can even imagine.

August 27, 2012 at 11:05 am
(302) kumar says:

Me and she are having a painfulful time after she is married to someone forcefully,its disgusting thing in india and nepal where girls are still married by parents will .I was unable to take her out of her home and now she is totally unhappy with the guy .they both are totally opposite in nature .she doesnt like the guy not only because she dont love her but the guy is not in good nature within himself also, he has extra relation and autocrat in thought too who contineusly gives mental and physical torture . she has no way to escape …even her parent knows every matter but still force her to stay and make her life happy with that very guy .she calls me some time and cry but we cant even help ourself except taking pain everymoment.its not so easy for me to make her come out in such complex society, the main problem is ..she is totally dependent financly…so she cant go any where …we love eachother so much…i dont know what to do at this time should we kill eachother or what….but i cant see all this happening to her…

August 30, 2012 at 7:15 pm
(303) Jennifer Scoggi says:

I just lost my husband three days ago we were married 10 years together 15 years. He was only 30. I miss him more than words can describe he was my best friend. How can I get through this? Is it ever gonna be normal again?

September 1, 2012 at 11:40 am
(304) Andi says:

I lost my husband of 15 mos on Easter sunday 2012. He was killed by a hit and run driver and he was on his way to sunrise services. I just retired in March so we could spend more time with each other. He was my best friend and soul-mate. I am completely lost without out. I hate looking at my future because everything involved him and I feel I have no future. The pain is unbearable and I just want to be with him.

September 3, 2012 at 8:05 am
(305) Amy says:

I go on this site a lot a reread some of these comments because I have the same kind of pain. I lost the love of my life on July 7 2012 in a car accident. Someone cut him off and he lost control of the car. I was 10 hours away at a camp and before I left we got into a little fight because he was really worried about me going because I was going to be so far away and if anything were to happen he couldn’t be there.. Also the camp didn’t have reception so it made him uncomfortable. The first night there I get a call on the only landline that worked at the camp. I screamed, I couldn’t believe my worst nightmare happened. He was only 21 years old and had so many talents with music art and business. I’m only 20 and I fear the future and fear death. I was my only comfort and the only person who truly cared for me. My mom has breast cancer and I needed him here to comfort me. My heart Is broken .. I feel like I can’t trust anyone because I put all my trust in him. We were one together I just can’t believe he just left like that.. All I do is think of him and try to sleep all day, everyday is a burden… Words can’t describe the pain of losing someone who love with all your heart.. Relating through music is all I do. I’m not religious and I believe death is just that but your loved ones live through your memories.. I can only wish this is just a horrible dream and I’ll wake up to my love again

September 4, 2012 at 5:26 pm
(306) Felicia says:

I lost the love of my life, my best friend, my soul mate, my children’s dad, the day after Father’s Day, June 20, 2011…5 months from being 9 blessed years of marriage in the Lord… He was killed in a car accident. I thank God that I had the opportunity to experience in my husband everything that I ever wanted or needed in a man, a man of God. I feel like my heart has been shattered and I don’t know how to begin to put it back together, I know God is able, but my heart hurts so badly. I have to keep going for my kids, but it gets so hard trying to be strong. I know God says He will put no more on me than I can bear. My love with my husband wasn’t just I was married to say I was married, we had truly become one….in love in the faith…I know we are all dealing with a loss, but even in my time of grief, I must say let us know that if we talk to God and let HIM bring us out, He will. In HIS time….We know that He already knows what we’re going through, and He knows how bad it hurts, but we can’t give up…

September 4, 2012 at 5:27 pm
(307) Felicia says:

I didnítí know a pain like this existed. I still love God with all my heart and I know that He is the reason that my shattered heart hasn’t taken me out…I don’t know why and I may never know why, but I know that departing this earth is part of living, it’s part of the process. As sure as we live, we have to leave here one day. I wouldn’t say this if I wasn’t believing God for my supernatural Joy. If I had never lost anyone I wouldn’t dare comment. God works in very mysterious ways, and He places people in paths to be a blessing, even through testimony.But I felt like I needed to comment so that whoever reads this, through the power of the Holy Ghost that God may strengthen your heart and your mind and let HIS peace, grace and mercy rest upon your life. May He heal every broken heart every wound and fill every void that’s so longing to be loved and know that no one loves us better that God and remember the will of God will never take us where His power can’t protect us….Donít give up..God knows what Heís doing in our lives. Be encouraged and know that God is still God and He is still good…He’s an on time God, but I know Him to be a “RIGHT NOW” God, because I need Him right now, all day everyday……Thank you Jesus…Glory to God… Hallelujah!!!!!Be blessed!!!!!

September 4, 2012 at 5:34 pm
(308) Felicia says:

I thank God that my husband knew how much I loved him, and the last thing I told him when I walked him to the door before he left for work , was I love you and I hugged him and kissed him never knowing that would be my last time, and the day before on that Father’s day I lay in his arms and I told him “you know i love you right” and he said yes I do and I love you too, and I said “you know you’re my best friend” and he playfully said “the dickens you say”, He kissed my forehead and told me how much he loved me too and other than Jesus, I was his best friend too…….Thank God for the love “HE” allowed us to share..

September 5, 2012 at 3:22 pm
(309) Donna says:

My dad just passed away 2 weeks ago. We had just been back home for a couple of days while I was looking after mum. She closed her body down and passed away the next day. So yes she died from a broken heart

September 7, 2012 at 3:12 am
(310) Manny says:

The Pain is unbearable. I always feels sick. I’m longing for my wife who just died a week ago. We’ve been married for almost 7 years. Everyday before I sleep, when I wake up or alone, All I can do is just cry and cry. All I wanted is just to be with her.

September 13, 2012 at 11:46 am
(311) nut2102 says:

It’s been a year and 7 months since I lost my wife to cancer and I had visited this site during my worse time. I left a comment to express how I felt around July 2011. We were married shy of 22 years.

I want to say that the pain and emotion will never go away. However, the ability to feel good about yourself does gets better. I went to a grief therapist and it did help me with my own grieving process.

Each of us will grieve in their own way. Some will take longer than others. At some point of your lives, you do have to make a choice. Do you want to die in your sorrows or live again??

I made the choice to start living again. In my heart, my wife would want me to be happy again. I am still struggling once in a while. I am still asking the question what am I going to do today? I am still asking why am I here? But you need to go on. You need to wake up and go to work or eat. Life is unfair.

No words or actions can help you to feel better. I know that feeling. I’ve been there and still fight it everyday.

Please remember you are never alone. As painful as it is, YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. There are people who really cares. I know she is watching me every day. Thank you.

September 21, 2012 at 4:31 am
(312) Lynn says:

My husband died on July 19th, 2012 of a sunden heart attack, just a little over two months ago. I have been searching the internet tonight to see if it is really possible to die of a broken heart. I truly hope it is. I have a long history of suicide in my family and promised myself many, many years ago that I would never do that to the people I love. I know the kind of pain that causes the people that are left behind. It is something I would never even consider. That being said, I have gone to bed most nights since he died hoping that I would not wake up in the morning. The pain and hurt are too much. If I just die in my sleep from a broken heart, noone can blame me. I am 52 yrs old. My poor husband was only 59. I used to think about the future and think that living another 20 years would never be enough time. Now it seems like an eternity of torture, living without him.

September 24, 2012 at 9:39 pm
(313) Timmy says:

I was reading Manny’s post and I feel the same way. My wife just passed away on the 22nd and I feel as if im gonna die. I found her in the morning, she had suffucated on the floor after what looked to be falling in the night. She was only 44yo and we had been together for 19 years. We was like one person and now i feel as if half of me has died. Tommarrow is her first showing and wed is her funeral. I am trying to find the strength that i will need to face tommarrow. I still cant talk without crying. even typing this brings tears to my eyes. I know im not alone as my sister just had to bury her husband this past monday and reading these posts I know we are not alone as to loosing our loved ones. I am told that I will feel better as time goes on but right now i just dont know how, I am almost certain i will die of a broken heart. When my first wife of 7 years left i almost died of a broken heart i was hospitalized and in a coma for days with no medical reason why. My parents was there all the time and freinds till i came too but i still had no will to live, i was very sick for a few years and my health kept going down hill I was never happy till i met my wife that has just passed away. She saved my life. My health improved and I regained my vigor I was never as healthy as i was before but she saved my life and we had become like one person. Now that she is gone I just dont know.

September 26, 2012 at 12:19 pm
(314) Tom'sRose says:

timmy and lynn please try not to dispair. It’s tough,I know. True enough , half of you perished with your soul mate. That’s what happens with that magical bonding of mind and spirit. Half of your mate lives on in you! You will never be without their love,wise council, and emotional support. You have merely to access it. The same goes for the unconditional love of the Lord. Do not turn your back on the boundless strength that is yours for the asking. i write this through my tears of joy and a tiny bit of self pity. I pray that the Lord will show memy new purpose. I cannot give up or my Better Half will also vanish from the earth. Things are getting better slowly ,it’s been a little over three months since my dear sweet Tom went to join Gods immeasurable love and light. Peace be with you.

October 2, 2012 at 11:55 am
(315) Theresa says:

This article was posted 2 years ago and yet people are leaving comments daily, its nice to see that there are people who understand your grief, I lost my mom, brother, uncle, grandmother, and baby all in one year in 2011, its been one year but i still want to die, I still have urges to drink, i want to sleep just to see them, feel them close to me, hear them, i cant look at pictures, my weeks are roller coaster of uncontrollable emotions, hard to focus in school or work, hard to focus on my daughter, cant find the way to move on, i need to be a mom and a provider, but this pain is hard to block out, hard to keep friends when my emotions start getting low again, people say its depression, people says i have bipolar disorder, but i am sane i am smart i am unhappy and just miss my family and my baby so much

October 9, 2012 at 6:54 am
(316) Nobody says:

I lost my husband to cancer 3 years ago & my best friend to suicide a year later. I bought a house & moved to be closer to my folks but they have been treating me so badly I have written them off as well.
It’s just been loss upon loss for me since my husband died.
Why am I being punished? What terrible thing have I done?
I’m not a bad person but I feel everyone is standing in line to kick me.
I’ve had to accept the fact that the only two people in this world who ever loved me are gone forever.
I just feel so utterly alone, like I don’t fit in or belong & not a day goes by that I don’t fantasize about giving up & joining my husband.
I just don’t want to live in a world without love.

October 14, 2012 at 4:12 am
(317) A Widow says:

My husband died suddenly 2 years ago in 2010. He was 58 years old, and we were married 36 years, together 40+ years since we were teens. My heart still aches, it has not gotten better with time, and I still long to be with him. He was my first and only love, I’m still lost without him, still can’t sleep, still in pain. I have some friends and loving family, but I always feel alone (not necessarily lonely because I do enjoy my own company).

I was 53 when he died, now I’m 55, and I wonder how long more God wants me to stay on this earth. Although I’m grateful for my blessings, I’m ready to join my husband any time. I do thank God that he has given me and my husband a beautiful love and family, because all that truly matters in the end is that you loved and were loved. I’ve had more than I ever hoped.

October 14, 2012 at 6:14 pm
(318) Bella says:

Unfortunately it is very hard to die of a broken heart especially if you are young. I know.

October 15, 2012 at 1:48 am
(319) Levi Devine says:

I just lost my step mother this morning Oct 14 2012, and to see my dad not crying (never seen my day cry ever …) Just wondering if he will pass away of broken heart I really can’t explain the hurt that I have. They were together 22 years and he found her on the floor after his shower this morning around 9am. She suffered a massive heart attack … my daughter loves her so much she is 2 years old. I just want to say that now is the time for me and my sister to be in his life now more than ever!!! … Just remember people give to your loved ones a kiss and hug every time u see them and a simple phone call I love u and miss u sooooo much Momma. Linda. May u rest on that fluffy cloud and look upon us and protect us and most of all be there for Dad please. We need him here!!!!! Love u so much, I love u.

October 16, 2012 at 11:29 pm
(320) PattyJ says:

I have a broken heart right now. My life is just not going in a good direction and today I ant to die

October 17, 2012 at 6:31 am
(321) roselyn says:

I am a filipina I lost my 8 year fiancee 2 months ago.he died of heart attack at 63 here in philippines.since i am his legal wife i couldn’t go to states and see his grave…..i felt bad but when i read this inspirational phrase from Vice Joe Bidden…makes me inspired and i want to live again..i hoper i can find a good man that i can spent the rest of life…..

October 23, 2012 at 5:55 am
(322) Donna says:

I lost my husband 7 years ago to an accident at work. We were married July 14, 2001. He passed on July 28, 2005. We were together a total of 10 years. We had a 20 month old son and I was 5 months pregnant. It breaks my heart daily to answer my sons questions about him, especially the youngest one. There are no pictures of him and his father. He struggles with this in spite of my reassuring him that his daddy loved him just as much as his brother. Telling stories and looking at pictures with my sons is incredibly difficult, but goid therapy. Even so, My heart physically aches for him, even 7 years later. He was my best friend, my soulmate, and my inspiration. The heartache never goes away, coping skills just improve. I strive to raise our boys the way we would have together. But I fail. They get an overworked, exhausted, lonely mom who cannot do it all. I miss my partner. And this will never change.

October 28, 2012 at 9:06 am
(323) Greg says:

My wife died unexpectantly, and in a rather horrible fashion, in mid September. Life had been pretty crappy before that, and has gotten progressively worse since. I have a 7 year old son with a number of issues, including autism and ADHD. We have no income other than my son’s disability and my U.I. which runs out in a few months. We hadn’t quite completed our wills, and my wife lost her life insurance when she officially retired after being on disability for several years. My boy needs to be homeschooled, for reasons I’m not going to go into. Life had been a massive chore before, now, I don’t know if its manageable. I didn’t realize how lonely I would be. Family and friends have tried to help, but they have their own lives to live. I’m pushing 50, I’m unattractive, out of shape, over weight, have never had any fashion sense, and have always been awkward around women. My life would be over, if it weren’t for the fact that I have to help my boy achieve independence. And if the day ever comes that I think he has…
I used to believe in some sort of omniscient, all loving God who never gives you more than you can handle, of a purpose to existence, of tragedies just being life lessons, and even that we would never be left lonely. But if that were true, the lessons wouldn’t be beyond my ability to figure them out, they wouldn’t be so painful that just managing the pain would take more energy than I have, the work load wouldn’t be beyond my ability to keep up, and I wouldn’t be left this lonely. For me, thats enough proof that there is no God, that life has no real meaning, that suffering and loneliness need never end. I’ll try to hang on until my son can live on his own, if he can. After that, all bets are off.

November 2, 2012 at 11:23 am
(324) Jan says:

Yes, they have finally discovered medically, that something happens to the heart when under such grief and stress.. the Japanese diagnosed it.. it’s called Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, named after Japanese fishing pots that the heart resembles when it is in this state. Read more here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Broken_heart_syndrome

I know about this, as it happened to me; it mimics a heart attack, and feels just like one. It’s from a hormone dump so great the heart cannot handle it.

November 4, 2012 at 11:28 pm
(325) Christine says:

I lost my husband in may. He left me, his children and his family behind. I hurt to the point that all
I want to do is curl up in our bed and cry myself to the grave. My children are 9 and 10. I gave him my soul for 12 years and the demons would never leave him. I am here ..left to explain the demons and left to clean up the emotional reckage left behind. He loved me, truly loved me..I never worried about his love I knew I had it. He loved his children, they were his greatest accomplishments. I miss him so much, I can’t function at times. I want to see him, hold him, kiss him, hear his voice just one more time. I would trade a lifetime just for one minute more. I get up every morning because I know I have too. I have to raise my children, love them, remind them of his love mold them into responsibel, loveing adults and it is hard when all I want is my husband. I am tired I am sad I am broken and I feel like I have lived 100 years. I miss my soul.

November 5, 2012 at 9:06 am
(326) Ian says:

I have been searching so hard for `something` or `somebody` which i can relate too at this horrific time in my life, and reading some of these threads, it seems that people here are experiencing what i am feeling at this very moment in my life. But,! i am not experiencing `death` , i am experiencing wanting to die. “WHY !!” i hear you say… well i have lost that ONE person in my life that i could call my `soulmate` ` and it is literally killing me inside, everyday is like a year, there is NOTONE MINUTE in the day when `Diane` is not occupying my mind and WHY?… are we here when it was only 2 month ago we was in Strasbourg having a fabulous time, This is when i KNOW that life is so so so very cruel
I`m sorry if this shocks in any way but i feel like i am on a `tightrope` and if i fall one way, i will survive but if i fall the other `I wont` and I will be absolutly truthful with you that I DO NOT WANT TO STAY ON THIS EARTH WITHOUT MY TRUE LOVE/ SOULMATE. I hear you saying , “Oh! it`s only a spa,t you and your missus are just arguing/or disagreeing,` TRUST ME ! this is far worse, and like i said in the beginning, it`s only from reading some of your threads that i can relate to MY feelings and the loss of a `soulmate`, “HONESTLY“…..I dont want to be here, i have lost my reason for living, ..Yes , i have children and i LOVE them dearly always and forever and they love me , but this is different, this is the loss of the one person in your life that was `that` was that close to you not even a piece of paper could seperate us., We shared `EVERYTHING` !! together,
now she`s not there…………………. and neither do i want to be, I pray at least 20 + times a day that the lord will return her to my arms but after 5 weeks…..`Nothing`
PLEASE can someone offer me some encouraging words that will help, I`m normally a level headed proffessional person BUT at this horrendous time in my life i can honestly say that i would rather die.

and i don`t want to be,

November 11, 2012 at 10:14 pm
(327) Cindy says:

My fiance and I were together for 3 1/2 years. He was in a motorcycle accident and in the ICU (spinal cord injury) for two weeks. He was doing great and about to be transferred to rehab. A blood clot took him in 30 seconds. We had a wedding date, a venue with deposit and save-the-date cards about to be mailed out. We were going to build a house. We both wanted horses. We wanted to live in the country. He loved me unconditionally and, like many of you, I simply do not want to live without him. I do not believe in gods, so I do not have any ideas of his being “at peace” or “in a better place.” But, it is still nearly impossible for me to accept that he is gone. I put one foot in front of the other and I go to work and I eat when I absolutely have to for one reason and one reason only — my 22 year-old daughter. I do not believe that it — the pain — will ever get easier or better. I’m just getting better at staying busy and pretending to others that everything is okay. It’s not okay. I’m not okay. I am miserable without him. I don’t want my daughter to lose her mama, but my desire to stay on this ride for as long as possible died when my fiance died. One foot in front of the other…………watching the clock at work, counting the minutes that I can be home and alone in my grief.

November 16, 2012 at 5:22 pm
(328) Denise says:

I thought that my marriage was forever & we both didn’t believe in the “D” word. My husband of 18 yrs & 4 kids (with a granddaughter) has decided to leave me. He sd that I have been neglecting him physically (sexually). I have tried to compromise with him since he works nights & I work days with 1 Ĺ hr lunch break. He goes & works out roughly around 10 a.m. & I come home for lunch at noon. Not always works out the way I thought, he claims that I act like itís a chore to have sex with him & there are times I admit that Iím just not in the mood. 4 kids & my sexual drive just isn’t what it was when we were younger. He on the other hand does. He tells our oldest on a Friday afternoon, the our other 3 kids on a Sunday night when I wasn’t home yet that he would be moving. He tells me the next day (on my day off & our daughterís birthday) that he wants a separation. I have been crying for 5 days! Two days after he told me that I found out (which I had a gut feeling) that he has been cheating on me. (cont)

November 16, 2012 at 5:24 pm
(329) Denise says:

(Contíd)
How can a man who grew up in a Christian home & took our marriage vows seriously when we got married do this! I also know who he is cheating with, which makes this all the worse. I thought this would never happen & it did. What is crazy is that he did tell me years ago that if he ever felt like cheating that he would move out first. For the sake of getting some bills paid, he is staying at the house and sleeping on the couch. He sd that he is giving me the house & that he will help financially for his family. I just don’t want to accept this & haven’t eaten in 5-6 days. He says that I deserve someone better & have the same affection goals that I do. I have a friend that sd that this woman he is sleeping with will drain him physically, emotionally & financially. She is in her second divorce. Maybe I made the mistake of telling him to go out with his friends. He had been doing that more and more. He also sd that he didn’t get home til an hour or 2 after work bc he was with her & how I could miss the signs. I am sleeping, how would I know! If he closes down the bar, I would be sleeping. I just don’t know what to do! Oh and here is the kicker! He wants to tell his family that we agreed that it wasn’t working out and that we decided to make a clean break. What am I suppose to do with the holidays? Thanksgiving next week and suppose to go to his parents on Friday. I just am lost right now and this really is bad timing. Sorry this is long, but I just had to get it out to someone who is impartial. I pray that God will lead me in the direction I am made to go. I just cannot believe that he is throwing away 18 years of marriage!

November 17, 2012 at 9:31 pm
(330) private says:

Yes.. one can die of a broken heart, broken spirit ect..this is where I am at now…no one has died…just that a very important relationship to me is troubled and there is distance . He is the best thing that ever came into my life ! I grew up in an abusive, alcoholic home which messed my life up and I have never had any real happiness for 48 years…The one thing in my life that made me feel like living and hopeful if suffering now . Would God take this from me now ? Would He not heal this relationship and help us to work things out. and have harmony ? Does God not know or see that this is the best I have ever had in my life and I was happy..does he not want this for me ? I pray the same pray Job prayed
Lord I beg thee, take my life ,as it is better for me to die than to live !
if you never had anything happy in your life and all your life was pain..and something came into your life that was beautiful and made you feel like living how would you feel if you lost it ? I want to die and I won’t go for help… they would only make me stay here and suffer more ..I will most likely die of a broken heart and spirit unless God can heal this relationship..yes it means that much !

November 18, 2012 at 11:37 am
(331) Me says:

Im 34, single and starting over. Its been 5 months since I ended a 5 year relationship. He was wonderful but he just wasnít the guy that wanted to commit. He was my entire world! I always dreamed of having babies with him and being his wife. But sometimes life doesnít happen the way you picture it. Iím happy with all the blessings god has given me though . The list of things that I actually have is much longer than the list of what I donít have. There are days when I feel that waking up is tough. I enjoyed having him in my life. Its hard accepting that he probably didn’t fall in love with me as I thought. I still cry when I watch a love movie or listen to certain songs, its normal, but everyday is getting better. I look forward to what life brings next, but in the meantime Iíve learned that its about living the moment and enjoying the present. Iíve stopped living in the past ( its not reality today) Iíve stopped wishing days to go by fast until whatever it is I want happens! I live today and enjoy it! I am enjoying as I write this little paragraph. I enjoyed taking a hot bath this morning and drinking my coffee (i used to take all these little things for granted). Iím also cleaning the house, which is awesome because Iím listening to music and singing along and dancing as I do it! Itís all about the attitude you have towards your situations. How many people that have what I want arenít miserable? People, we all know life isnít easy, but the point is, focus on what you do have! You have a choice everyday to work on being bitter or to work on being happy. Being happy doesnít just happen. It takes mind change and lots of work, but its totally worth it because when it becomes a habit, you see life in a different light, you attract the right people and you feel that life is indeed worth living!

November 19, 2012 at 7:19 pm
(332) Shelby says:

After a separation of 3 Years due in part to being homeless, my wife and I reconciled and lived together again in Denver,CO. After 1 year she passed away overnight from C.O.P.D. AND ASTHMA complications. Without warning, lost the love of my wife. I can pretend its okay. But why. Bother to fight all lifes battles witholut her. Its pointless.

November 21, 2012 at 6:57 pm
(333) minster24 says:

I envy you all the love you have had with partners, myself i have never been fortunate to find my other half and so family were always my wofrld but slowly they have gone and now before 50 i am alone, three siblings abroad,only me here and it is desperately sad, whenfriends got away to family for weekends,holidays, xmas etc i stay alone,it is hard and it is long,long the wait for an end i do not relish, bt whatever else to hope for

November 22, 2012 at 6:53 pm
(334) Marcellus says:

My wife hasn’t died, thank God. She left me after 8 years together, we have a 4 yo daughter who makes me remain sane. The other day I heard that the stress level on a divorced person reaches 10 out of 10, whereas it reaches 8 on a widowed spouse. Whatever it might be I sort of feel glad she left me, because I used to dread the future, that that fatidic day might come. I’m sure I’d die shortly after. However I deeply sad like I could never imagine I could be. I just can’t stop thinking over and over it. I how could it happen when we used to as one? I just hope to get over it although all I see is a grey sky. Sorry if I don’t fit in this thread but to me it feels much better to pour it out and eventually be heard… thank you all.

November 24, 2012 at 7:30 am
(335) Sam says:

i joined the Marine Corps @ 17 yrs. of age. met my first gf there, then found out she was married. got out @ age 22. found the love of my life. we were gonna get married. thought she was my soul mate. we were together 2 yrs. 3 mnths.. she left me a week ago, so she could grow as a person and see the world. first time i cried since 2005 when my paternal grandma passed. my maternal grandma passed a month ago. i havent slept in a week. can breathe. chest hurts. weird, thumping heartbeats. signed up another contract. i have no emotions left in me. my MOS is 0311. im going back out there. my goal is to avoid my life. get busy. do something. turn off the pain. make a switch and click it off. hope this helps. Semper Fi .

November 24, 2012 at 4:16 pm
(336) Helen says:

My husband died at my feet on August 5th 2010. Everyone said the second year would be worse than the first but so far the third year is proving even harder. He had an aneurysm so no warning just him twtching at my feet as he died. The paid is unbearable and isn’t getting any easier – if possible it is worse. We were everything to each other and I lost everything the day he died – we had no family. I wish I had the courage to take my own life but I fear I would be sent some place other than tp him so what would be the point. I wish I had a deep faith – it seems to help some people. He was truly my soul mate and I cannot live without him.

November 29, 2012 at 8:36 am
(337) Naomi says:

My beloved son was tragically mowed down by a Coach USA driver driving a NJ Transit bus on Wednesday July 18, 2012 on his way to work. Now the eerie part of this sad occasion is my son was killed on the same day, month, date and town of mine 2007 tragic car accident.

The police officer was chasing a stolen car and the stolen car hit me head on as I was coming from work. The car accident left me disable with never damages.
In January 23, 2012 a young lady live cross hall from me was killed by a Coach USA bus driver.

In June 2012 my son save my adopted uncle life and three weeks later my son was killed by a bus.

Now, I am mentally torn up and want to die. I cannot live without my son. We were inseparable.

What does all this mean about my son death? Does anyone know?

I started a petition for my son Deshon Johnson on change.org. Please support my son petition and spread the word. You can past the link in the url. window. Thank you.

https://www.change.org/petitions/nj-transit-coach-usa-and-world-wide-public-transportation-stop-reckless-aggressive-and-rude-bus-drivers-from-taking-innocent-lives

PS I am seeing a psychologist.

December 16, 2012 at 2:53 am
(338) signs says:

Four years 5 months and 29 days ago I lost the love of my life. I lost control of my car and we rolled, it was my fault. Jill suffered head injuries that we could not over come. She was on life support for 9 days. My daughter and I would sing hymns and pray constantly in hopes that our prayers would be answered. I prayed and begged God to help, my daughter set up a nation wide prayer chain but it was not going to change what happened. July 15 2008 at 5:05pm two people passed from this life; Jill to the waiting arms of our Lord and me to stay in this body ripped with heartbreak and sorrow that I have never experienced before.

December 16, 2012 at 2:54 am
(339) signs says:

Jill was my second marriage and had been divorced for 13 years thinking God would be her husband as no one was seemingly coming into her life. Well here I come and after a few weeks of knowing each other we went on a date and that night we both knew we would be married. This is tough. I can hardly type. Well I know she was my heartbeat, love and mate, my life is so different. I have no desire to go anywhere or really have fun. I seriously am waiting to die; In fact last Oct. 2012 we went to Hawaii, I just went and kept the kids happy. I had no joy. I so suffer from a broken heart. Here what makes it a dichotomy, I remarried just over a year ago and still cry. I’m crying now and continue as I read those of like fate. My broken heart goes out you all. My wife now is so understanding and patient. I have my Christianity and know the scriptures and have preached about our joy and focus when times are tough. The shoe is on the other foot. I have been though a horrible childhood, was homeless and then blessed beyond any understanding. Losing Jill ripped me bad. I try to feel her energy if that is possible but I don’t, I have never dreamed about her. Sometimes I can look at our pictures together and not scream in agony. I find hiding places to cry. I have several co-workers that hold me in their arms for comfort. The congregation planted a tree in her name. I know that when I am ready to truly forgive myself, I will move to my next level. My mountain is my broken heart. I love you Jilliah I love you.

December 21, 2012 at 5:11 pm
(340) crosscubes says:

minster24, UR still young! I married a 2nd time; I was almost 56! We were 2gether abt 7 yrs B4 we married. Feels like a living nightmare, becuz, tho he was told 7-12 he had 4th stage lung cancer, we were doing various things 2 overcome it; we believed many have, & 1 day after he was home, from a wk in a hospital, on oxygen, he died alone @ home while I was out getting more oxygen tanks, so he didn’t have 2 wait 1 day 4 them 2B delivered! Turned out, he probably didn’t need em, becuz we thought his oxygen level was supposed 2B 6; no, was supposed 2B 4. No Dr told us that! Nurse @ discharge said 6. He told me he’d be, “Okay,” while I was out, but he wasn’t, & I missed his distress call while signing 4 additonal tanks on loading dock! I am so sure if I’d stayed home, & insisted we have the supply company deliver tanks next day, he’d be sitting next 2 me right now! He was 58, truly outgoing, giving, loving, happy one! It’s bad enough 4 those of us left behind, but what about those like me, who truly believe our misguided actions, if different, could’ve meant our loved 1 would B here? If UR heartbroken over a spouse who is still living, @ least let them know! I get all of U who just want 2 die & B w UR spouse. I have 2 settle estate make my will, then I’m ready, but 2 honor God & wonderful husband’s memory I’ll thank God 4 ea day that takes me closer 2 going home 2B w him. For those who feel they don’t have faith, look 2 some others & helps online 2 find it! Clues R everywhere; God’s loves U, N spite of tragedies; God feels our pain. I said this today, if God loves my husband more than I do, (I believe he does) God must have been really happy 2 get him N2 heaven! 2 Sam, my uncle’s third wife was his best & longest lasting relationship. She died a few months after he did, early 2012. Some of U R more prepared than ever, 2B a great spouse 2 some1 & U should! I don’t think it’s 4 me again; loved my prince from Poland!

December 21, 2012 at 5:13 pm
(341) crosscubes says:

P.S. About my husband’s death, when I got home, he was on the floor, and oxygen tubes were separated in two different rooms. U all understand how I feel, and why I feel so bad!

December 27, 2012 at 3:36 am
(342) matt says:

I truly know what a broken heart is I just lost my wife of 25 years in July she battle breast cancer for 12 years and the last 2 and a half was a living hell on her we have to great kids 12 and 15 that keep me gone it seems like a walk through a fog bank everyday just lost don’t sleep very well I think of her from the time I get up till I go to bed they say time heals all pain but I do not believe that she was my life and I miss her God speed cindy

January 1, 2013 at 5:06 pm
(343) CathyElle says:

RIP, Caruso!

January 3, 2013 at 2:03 am
(344) Lenny Baird says:

I met Laura when I was 17, I am now 48 . We lived together for five years and the finally she said yes to marring me that was 1987 .We had a problem in 2006 ,and I,after being asked to leave , “we aren’t getting along and we can’t stay together for the kids” well , we never divorced and I didn’t realize until she died that I love and miss her very much.Now I never got the chance to tell her I was sorry and that I love her and hoped nothing but happiness to come her way. I feel as half of my life has died , I feel 1/2 dead . I can’t wait to see her again , I hear her voice all the time .Life is what

January 3, 2013 at 10:03 pm
(345) Barbara says:

Someone help me, call me between 11:00 a.m. and 9:00
I am not going to make it. I have no family or friends. We were married for 32 years and all we had was one another. He was my life and did not deserve to die the way that he did. We spent 75 days in a hospital. Feels funny to walk into a hospital with him and walk out witout him. I have no one, no place to go, no one who really seems to care. People say, ” Yea, know what you are going through I just lost my Uncle/Aunt but not their spouses very ofetn. I am ready to loose everything and feel that if I am not here then I would be just like a peice of furniture that does not matter either. Sit on me for awhile and then throw me away, if that makes sense. I need help. He died 3 days before my birthday and had to pick out his casket on my birthday. Then I had him buried in a crypt here in Ohio where he did not want to be buried but told be , ya know that talk you have before you die, ” JUST BURY ME WHERE YOU WHERE BE BURIED AT “. I have one family memeber who promised that he would help me because I am on Social Security and not enough to live on, walked out on me when I ran out of money and I have nothing now and soon I will be on the streets. I can say that my grave is paid for so it is not like I do not have a place to go, I just wish GOD would hurry with the broken heart syndrome and just get this over with. Without Tom I have no life. ” PLEASE, someone help me. I have been to counseking, talk groups and so on and nothing makes this any better. I have even asked people on Craigs List to kill me because suicide will never get me where Tom is. PLEASE HELP ME.

January 14, 2013 at 10:10 am
(346) Jackson says:

Having lost my wife 5 weeks ago with a 35 yr marriage is very hard and hard to deal with. I pray every day that Jesus will help me to make the right decisions and have some meaning to my life. Without God I couldn’t do it alone, have faith that God has a purpose for each and everyone of us. Moving forward is not easy, but let God take care of the things you can’t handle and you move forward with things you can. God Bless

January 21, 2013 at 7:43 am
(347) Nesha seepaul says:

My son got in an accident on 31st August where he was rushed to the hospital “…he was at the age of 7 years he died on 14th September …I mis him so much my heart hurts so much…I can’t slept with these memory I want to die every day…

January 25, 2013 at 3:25 am
(348) Rorie says:

My husband was tragically killed two months ago by an 86 year old driver. My husband had stopped to help some people that had an accident and was driven into, and killed immediately by this other, older driver. My heart aches, I miss him so much. It is so unfair, he was trying to help some people in need, and this car came crashing into him. My husband’s life ended much too soon, I am so sad for him. He will never know his grandchildren… We had recently celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. I so love him and miss him dearly

January 26, 2013 at 1:01 pm
(349) Angeline says:

My husband and I met when we were 17 in 1986. Reunited in 2006, married in 2008. We were both 43…..2 weeks ago he did not come home, the neighbor called…says “He does not look too good..”

I walked up to the neighbor’s garage, and there is my husband on the cold floor, on his side, totally gray, with vomit all over him. I pushed on his body, he was dead…. probably been dead at least 10 hours.

I just had no idea he was in the neighbor’s garage lying there…..

There is an autopsy pending, cremation done and it is over…now I spend my days figuring what to keep and what to give to goodwill.

I have hopes that my life is not over, I have so much love left to give….may he rest in peace, however, I am among the living and I want to love again.

January 29, 2013 at 12:42 pm
(350) Paula. Zenick Zenick says:

I lost my beautiful husband , Richard A Zenick on March /6,2012!! We were married 45 yrs, have been with him
since I was 13! Love at first sight!! I adored him and never thought he’d die!! I simply can’t go on without him!!! Nothing or no one ever mattered To us except Paula and Richardv!!! There is mo life without
him!! The way he died was horrid, he was given the wrong blood transfusion and everyday and might I see his face!!! My depression gets worse
everyday, I feel guilty he list his life, his love and my every breath is thinking of him!!! How can one live after their whole life has been stolen
from them!!!???? I love him much! He was my reason for living!! And I was his!! We lived fir each other !!

January 30, 2013 at 6:10 pm
(351) Linda says:

My fiance died Monday night 1/28/2013 at 8:20pm of acute pancreatitis. We just set our wedding date last week for May 10,2013. I was at his side. I feel like I just can’t go on. We were always together. We owned a company together, did everything together. Recently he made the comment “we always have fun no matter what we are doing as long as we are together”. He was such a good person. I had hundreds of people praying for him. I just don’t understand why someone that was so good was taken? We had so many plans and goals. He was only 38, I am 42 so he would tease me about being a cougar. This was to be my 3rd marriage. He didn’t beat me, we didn’t fight, we just accepted each other for who we are. I have had so much pain in my life already. It’s just not fair.

February 6, 2013 at 9:08 pm
(352) Jeanne says:

Two weeks ago I lost my best friend, soulmate and protector to lung cancer. It was only a year since diagnosis. We went through the whole thing– radiation, chemotherapy, tests, bloodwork– and all the false hopes (“five more years” at least). It was terrible to see the one person in the whole world I loved with all my heart, and who loved me, physically and mentally deteriorate the way he did. Hospice came to take care of him when he was home with me, and then he was moved to the hospice home, where he died. I was sleeping in the same room at the time

I come from an abusive family– disinterested, raging alcoholic father, malicious & narcisscistic stepmother and sister, with whom I have broken all contact. Dave was my one true love, who took me in, nurtured and protected me in a world where no one else would. Now that he has died I have lost all desire to keep going. I only want to be with him. I pray that I will be taken soon, since my heart is broken beyond repair. I have also lost our home and am now in low income housing with a stranger for a roommate. Dave was 79. I am 60, far too old and poor to start over. Every night I pray I won’t wake up the next day. The compassion of my friends, neighbors and therapists is what keeps me alive, still hanging on to life– by a thin thread. I miss Dave so much. The one who loved me is gone. It is a terrible void to live without love..

February 8, 2013 at 7:34 pm
(353) Peggy Rickard says:

I lost my beautiful 16 year old son on jan 9th of 2013. He was the light of my life and I miss him so much. No one ever told me that a seizure could kill you. He was so love by so many people-encluding principals and vice principals-teachers and former teachers and his school. I still get texts on his phone where his friends leave their heartbroken replies. Some of his friends dont want to go to school. He was so loved by so many people and I ask God WHY?

February 8, 2013 at 9:11 pm
(354) sad too says:

My husband died in December. I never thought it would happen to us. He was the love of my life. I don’t want to go on living either. I used to want to live forever, but now I no longer have any desire. I want to get my affairs in order and clean up some details in my life..then I will be ready to go. I was young and enthusiastic just two months ago. Now I am old and alone. I do not understand why God took the one man in the world who loved me no matter what I did or how I looked. I don’t want to go on without him.

And no, we don’t all need counselling. What’s wrong with wanting to go and be with the Lord and our loved ones that we miss?

February 10, 2013 at 9:56 am
(355) Lee says:

I met my husband 46 years ago, and we were married for 44 years.
We went through a lot together from the beginning, first his Vietnam duty; but we got through the separation, and I got through the agony of worrying about him. Then we had the usual “life crises” we all deal with. But our love, deep respect for one another, devotion, caring, got us through. That’s until…in September of 2012 he was suddently, without any warning, diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that had already spread to his liver. We knew what we were facing, but we went numb when first told (by the way, the doctor said it so coldly, I dislike her to this day for that), but she doesn’t matter, she could do nothing but give him chemo, and always hated any questions.

We held on to each other for 10 months of chemo, lab tests, hospital stays, blood transfusions, other ailments that come with this type of cancer, and he was courageous, did everything to stay alive, but this lethal disease won the battle on July 29, 2012, and I shall never forget that night and how my husband tried to stay alive for 2 hours and 40 minutes, until finally, I whispered in his ear, “I’ll be OK, go to God, go to Mom and Dad (my parents), go to the light.” And he stopped breathing, and I wanted to die with him.

I still wish I were dead, too. I miss him so much, and I miss everything about him, everything around this house reminds me of him, and I am angry that he is not here to enjoy what he loved: his TV shows, working on his property, beautifying our home, and of course, this man loved me so much.

I wonder where he is, I yell out his name all day and night for him to come home. I tell him I love him, miss him. I am in agony as though I have the worst illness in the world, my heart hurts, my head hurts, my stomach hurts, I can’t sleep because I can’t live without him.

Please broken heart, turn off your beating, let me go to my husband soon.

Lee

February 10, 2013 at 1:56 pm
(356) Paula Zenick says:

My husband, Richard A, has been gone almost 11 months!!! I have suffered greatly by his loss! He was with me always for 45 yrs plus !! People just don’t u derstand and feel I should be “moving on”!’
we mutually loved each other all our lives, begining before high school! He was my life and I was his , we
talked about it all thru the years!! I wrote on this site before and explained how he died, wrong blood transfusion!!! I still see his face before me morning noon and night!! It is impossible to “go on”, and if it was the other way around, I know he’d feel this same way!!
Please, everyone on this site, know I feel your pain and I understand only too well, how horrid this is !! God bless us all, although I’m very upset with God for taking my beautiful Richard away from me and placing him
into another “place” without me in it!!

February 14, 2013 at 11:17 am
(357) mary says:

my mum died six weeks after my dad, from a broken heart

February 25, 2013 at 4:54 am
(358) randy says:

i feel bad for everyone that lost there loved one on here i lost my girlfriend of 12 years three weeks ago she was at a assisted living center she got blisters on her feet she wanted to go to a hospital the nurse said to her while i was on the phone with her ill look at it now she told me i gotta go the nurse wants to look at my foot now she hung up i didnt get a call back that night i figured she went to sleep which she did but died in her sleep that night the next time i got a call was from her daughter who told me her mom died in her sleep her daughter lives out of state and hadnt seen her mother in 8 years she was ready to come down to visit her the week of her death her daughter had to make funeral arrangments for her mother on her birthday me and her daughter are devastated her mother was only 56 years old you just never know when someones time is up you never think about death until it hits someone close to you its like a bad dream that doesnt go away.

April 2, 2013 at 12:15 am
(359) Joy says:

I lost my husband on February 10, 2013. We had just celebrated uot 30th anniversary on December 31. He died suddenly from an aortic rupture. I miss him so much that it is like a physical hurt….at first, I just kept saying, “it can’t be, it cant’ be. He waw a wonserful, loving person who always had his hand held out to one in need. Can’t say anymore just now, but I truly don’t know how I am going to live without him.

April 2, 2013 at 12:34 am
(360) Carol says:

My beautiful husband had a fall down the steps resulting in a traumatic brain injury. He held on for over 3 months and was getting better. On 3/6 2013 the doctor where he was hospitalized made a wrong decision which ended his life. We were together for 35 years. I just want to die but am afraid that I might not go where he is. I have lost my faith as I wonder why God made him live 3 months in hell and just when he was getting better he was taken. I miss him so much; he was my best friend and I have few people to turn to. They don’t seem t o understand what it’s like to lose the person who was your whole source of happiness.

April 3, 2013 at 8:04 pm
(361) Cheryl says:

My Husband passed away 2 years ago…He was without a doubt my “Soulmate” …I have tried to pick up the pieces since then…I moved away from our home, and went back to my hometown..thinking that would give me peace …but as my doctor told me” the pain that I feel is not on the outside ,it is on the inside “… which now I understand….I have tried to fill my void with a new job ( 2 jobs), going back to college( full time), to occupy what I was missing..but that too is not working…I have tried daing, actually I started trying to date about 8 months after my Husband’s death, but again that too has not worked.. after dating someone for maybe a month ..I simply let the relationship go because I was always comparing to what I had lost, which is totally not fair to the other person…so here I am again back to square one…I’m still going to college and working.., praying that this rollercoaster will eventually cease…I have been told it takes time to heal…I consantly pray for healing everyday…..I live by the motto now “This too shall pass…..but when ????

April 29, 2013 at 5:48 am
(362) g3 says:

My husband of 9 yrs, just 30 yrs old, died in a accident 2 months back, I am just waiting for my death, he was my childhood seet heart, we have known each other since 13 age. I have a 6 yr old daughter, just for her i am living. I feel so broken, shattereed. Cant wait for my death to be with him.. I have been crying continuously.. i cannot concentrate on my normal life. At times I think of suicide, but then the thought of my daughter keeps me alive. he was my only friend soul mate… i love him so much

May 4, 2013 at 6:26 am
(363) bryan says:

Reading these stories of grief saddens me greatly, I have my own and can relate, indeed, everyone will eventually relate with these sad stories as time flies by in their lives. Seeing how many loving women die a little bit daily from the loss of their husbands proves to me that not all women are as heartlessly confused as my wife is. Thank you ladies for sharing your grief. My wife left with my 14 year old daughter for vacation,,,,I had to stay home to manage the affairs of life and recover from open heart surgery and learn how to deal with the verdict of prostate cancer,,,,,she never came back home. It’s been over two years now and I still miss her more than I can say, Despair found another home. What a mess life can be. Neither of us had been married before, had no previous children, and we married later in life than our friends. There was no cheating on each other, alcohol, drugs, or physical abuse involved,,,,though I must have a been a hardheaded fool and did not understand her needs, if only I had another chance! Enough about me and my pain for now and,,,by the way,,,I do know something that might help some of the people writing these sad posts,,,,,,REACH OUT to someone in deep pain like we have and pour yourself out in helping them according to your ability and love them as GOD loves us with a love beyond understanding. If that’s to hard,,,then ask GOD to love them through you. I know it works,,in fact,,,that is the second greatest calling for humans. Well, that’s enough from me for a long time,,,I have to get back to thinking about what to do with myself for the next two years,,(that’s the amount of time that the doctor says I have left to love those in pain around me). Still hoping for forgiveness and reconciliation.

May 6, 2013 at 6:53 pm
(364) Leslee says:

My uncle was killed in a Marine plane crash in 1968. My grandfather died within hours of being told his oldest son had been killed in the plane crash. My poor grandmother buried her husband and son next to each other in a double funeral.

May 30, 2013 at 4:29 pm
(365) Dawn says:

I need some help in knowing what should I do. Me and my husband let our daughter and her boy friend move into his mothers house after she passed away. all we asked of them is to pay 300 a month keep the 2 dogs and pay electric and water and keep the house clean that’s all we asked and they did everything but needless to say we had to eveict them. Since then my daughter will not talk to us. She wouldn’t even come get the rest of her stuff in the house which my husband made me throw everything in the dump it still breaks my heart. I love her so much. At one time in our lives when you saw her you saw me. then she grew up. I am having a hard time dealing with this all and its killing me inside. I have tried to talk to her but she wont talk to me. I really don’t know how I can keep living its so hard shes my kid my husband is hurt and so am I guys deal with everything different. I don’t know if leaving my marriage of 23 years is worth it. I know everyone in my family would be happy and I know they have filled her head up with bad remarks about the both of us. He was good to me and a great father to her we tried to give her the world together. Because my family never wanted to see me happy they hated him for making me happy. im losing my mind with it all its hard for me to want to wake up everyday. Any suggestions from anyone I don’t have any friends talk.

June 21, 2013 at 10:26 pm
(366) Dan says:

My wife of 31 years died almost two weeks ago after a nine month battle with cancer. When we met it was like we were long lost friends, and we were together ever since then. We were living together within one month of meeting and we were married one year to the day from when we met. She was my soul mate, my best friend and my lifetime lover and we were supposed to die in bed holding each other’s hand when we got old. We were holding hands, but she died too young and I am still here. I think sometimes that joining her is the only thing that would make me happy, but we have kids and parents and others who depend on me. I am overwhelmed with sorrow and sadness. The bed is too empty at night and the house is too quiet and I’m not getting any loving voicemails during the day. I don’t know how to fix anything.

June 22, 2013 at 4:03 pm
(367) Heartbroken says:

Psalm 34:18
New International Reader’s Version (NIRV)
18 The Lord is close to those whose hearts have been broken.
He saves those whose spirits have been crushed.

Reading these many stories of lost brings so much sadness to my heart. I sympathize with you all and pray our lord gives u peace and comfort during these difficult times in your life. I know its hard to make any sense out of why we are dealing with what we are dealing with and why we feel so much pain. I almost feel as if I don’t want to tell my story, there are so many more of you dealing with a much more difficult lost than I.

God bless and may god comfort you in our difficult times!

June 23, 2013 at 9:01 pm
(368) alan merena says:

I lost my wife of 33 years June 15. Her life was one of suffering. She had juvenile diabetes for 48 of her 51 years. Many complications came from the diabetes (kidney failure .neuropathy ,vision problems etc.) During the last 3 years she was on dialysis (we did it at home) and I was her partner. I would come home from work, set up the machine ,get her hooked up, and do this 5 days a week for 4 hours a day. It was stressful but I would gladly do it all over again to have her back
When you are a caregiver you develop a special bond which makes the loss more intense. I did the best I could and she got better treatment than she would have had at the clinic. by the grace of God she was surrounded by 11 family members when she passed. She was in a comatose state and the next move would have been a feeding tube which she had refused in her living will. I stayed at her side and held her hand and told her it was okay to let go. I told her that I now have to watch after my two grandchildren and my son. When I told her that, a tear rolled down her cheek and I knew she was at peace.
More good had come out of this than I ever expected. For 3 years my son and his wife had no relationship with us because of personal problems. We are now a family again and we need each other more than we ever thought possible.
My wife is at peace, no more suffering ,and she knows our family is one again. I have my difficult times (especially when I’m alone)but I have more work that God has chosen for me. I will miss my wife terribly, but I also know that I will see her again free of pain and suffering. The need to have people around you is paramount the healing process. If people offer help, accept it. You WILL get through it.

June 28, 2013 at 3:46 pm
(369) Enrique says:

I’m a 69 y.o retired American, I retired at 62 & I moved to Panama, I did so due to I met this women that seems was ok for me. We lived together for 3 1/2 yrs every day was hell on earth this living togetherm slowly I toll her & her 2 chidren to leave, before that I found out she was stealing money from me.
Months later I met this person that I love at first sight, have a 20 yrs old daugther then, we started to live together in Panama City for almost a yr, her & me onyt her daugther was studying in another town.
This person, Diana is coming from a large family, I really hesitated at first when she told me she have 9 brothers/sisters more, problems in the horizon was my thinking.
Anyway I get ridded of that idea, a yr.later we moved to her native town, all the way up very closed to the Cista Rica border, kind of old west, falling down houses & so on, no jobs for people there.
This person Diana wasn’t having a job, few days working here & there, no s s deposit, no drs or medicine paid, nothing at all, but she was very very clean on herself & around, I started to rent a house there, it was abandoned but we fixed up really nice until we could find a good to buy it.
continue

June 29, 2013 at 4:29 am
(370) Jul says:

the love of my life , my husband, died 2 yrs 6 mos and 28 days ago . My situation is extreme, I won’t go into all the hairy details (except that I miss my hairy man! he didn’t believe me when we met that I only wanted a hairy guy, he thought I was making it up, but I wasn’t. He was EXACTLY what I asked for, inside and out. I created a business out of the system I developed for finding HIM. And now I can’t teach ’cause my heart is broken. I was invited to talk on a radio show I had been on before and I told them tI couldn’t ’cause I would advise their single listeners to just get cats ’cause this pain , I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

most days I can’t believe how much I still ache. I would love to be with him. And my father too who died right before he did. I know how blessed I was. I truly do. right before my husband unexpectedly died (side effects of medication) I told him that he was the finest human being I’ve ever known. I didn’t even think marriage was possible for me until we found each other (he had the same experience in fact, first marriage for both of us)
It’s so hard to imagine being with anyone but my guy.
Anyway, thanks for the space to get this out right now-My heart is definitely broken , Most recently I’ve started with a Course in Miracles and that’s pretty friggin’ fantastic. and I make soap bubbles. That helps too. And what I thinkl poster #34 wrote too is huge, I try to watch comedies. I loved “The Other Guys” – I should probably own it….

July 4, 2013 at 2:58 pm
(371) Maria says:

I just lost my husband 3 days ago after 25 years of marriage. He was my soulmate, my joy and my strength. My heart is broken and I do not see this pain ever “getting easier.”. Everyone says just pray to God to get you through this but I feel that God gave my husband this terrible rare cancer that took his life. He was a good and kind man with an amazing spirit yet he was dealt this disease. I truly believe that someone can die from a broken heart and I feel that this will be my case. I am not capable of suicide but I just cannot imagine my life without him!!!!

July 10, 2013 at 9:09 am
(372) Melissa says:

I lost my husband to a heart attack on May 16. I had texted with him earlier in the day about what to have for dinner, as I was at work during the day and he worked evenings. I worked late, and his boss called to say he had not come to work and was not answering the phone. I rushed home to find him slumped over the computer.
I feel a huge emptiness in my heart and soul. I am not suicidal, but I too long to be with him, and would welcome it if my world ended tomorrow. I cry every day, and though I try to keep busy with work and friends, I still find myself sinking into unbearable sorrow. We did everything together, and to have that so suddenly taken away from me has left me adrift.
June 11 would have been our 32 anniversary. I miss him terribly.

July 11, 2013 at 2:51 am
(373) Livia says:

The guy I loved drowned..He was swimming in the river and got swept downstream on June 23 and they found his body on the 7th…he was 25. I’ll be 15 on the 29th. I love him. He was the only guy who never judged me. He didnt care what I said or did. He’s my friends cousin. He, apparently, did drugs and such but he was one of a kind. He was so funny. He loved kids and made everyone laugh. I remember shaking his hand for the first time, watching him as he looked at me while smoking a cigarette, playing video games all day, I remember when he and I were at Stampede and he shot me in the elbow with this toy vibrating gun, his cousins made jokes about it but I loved it. I remember massaging his head and ribs and he had said he liked it. I remember playing with his fingers. I remember when my cousin died he tried to make me feel better by offering his Icecream to me. I remember arguing over weather you pronounce Carmel as Carmel or caramel. I should have just kissed him…I should have told him how I felt about him. I miss him so much. I remember when I would look at him, he would smile and say “Wut.” His smile was amazing. I thought we would end up together someday, get married, have babies. I miss him so much. How will I ever find someone like him? I’m not sure I want to. I don’t want to replace him. But I don’t want to live with this pain. I’ll never know what will happen…I will always hold on to the hope that he was my soul mate. He will always be. I should have kissed him when I had the chance…I had plenty…

July 12, 2013 at 1:11 pm
(374) Sheri says:

Livia, my heart goes out to you. This is a difficult time, but I do hope you reach out to someone close to you or a counselor at school and share your grief and loss. The “I should have …” thoughts will hopefully lessen as you remember all that you did do that made him smile.

July 21, 2013 at 11:13 pm
(375) Mrs K says:

My husband of 34 years died of a ruptured aorta in April. I had no idea I would be this devastated. We have had many ups and downs over the years and the last few were pretty tumultuous due to his drinking. I knew he was trying to deal with the loss of several family members and that became his way of coping. Not being a drinker myself, I had little patience with it and became increasingly distant. He suffered an aortic dissection 10 years prior so we’d been dealing with this condition since then. I thought he should respect his health more and think about what he was doing to his family. He knew I loved him and he always told me I was beautiful and the love of his life. We did everything together and I have many memories of great times.

Since his passing I have so much guilt from the cold shoulder I often gave him when he was drinking. This is my first time dealing with the death of a loved one and I clearly see now how one can fall back on alcohol just to get through the days.

I miss him so much and don’t know how to begin building a new life alone. The days stretch out endlessly before me and tears seem to be my only companion.

July 25, 2013 at 9:35 pm
(376) betty says:

yes my heart has been breaking since February, I lost my love of my life we were not married but I feel like we were by heart, what makes it worse we were on the outs for quite a while over dumb stuff looking back on it was really stupid stuff and I had not spoken to him, and I feel so much guilt for I was not with him and he died alone, unexpected, a stroke and I feel I am dying of a broken heart and want to, I pray everyday that I want to. it is unbearable of being left behind, and want to go where he is, and be with him. I have so much regret and feel like I so empty it is hard to function and go to work. he is the first thing I think of in morning an last at night, how could I not see how much I loved him and went to him before he died for I had time after we ended it to go back and talk to him and I did not, for my fears and doubts. and pride and I see now he was probably waiting on me to come to him and how I regret it, how can we be so blind and not see things till after it is too late. I miss him so. nothing is the same. I pray everday that the lord jesus will have mercy and let him be in heaven for I am not sure if he ever asked the lord into his heart I used to talk to him about the unforgiveable sin but he never said, but I pray for the faith to believe that he is with the lord and when the lord sees fit to take me that I will be with my loved one and with the lord the both of us. and I ask the lord everyday to tell him things and feel the things of my love for him and try to find comfort in that. oh how I miss him, he took my heart with him. I was so foolish in letting it go for I knew we loved each other…lord forgive me, and my heart goes out to all of you that are going thru the pain of loss and regret.

July 28, 2013 at 2:32 am
(377) Indiakai says:

Like so many on here my heart hurts. I am 34 and lost my husband of 16 years on July 7,2013. 20 days ago. He died of a heart attack at our family lake home (he just turned 36 the day before) we had no sign of heart disease and nothing to know he had problems.

It was a normal Sunday on the lake and my husband was getting ready to take our dog on his normal hike up the Mtn road. He kissed me good bye and said I’ll see you in an hour. Within 15 minutes of him leaving our dog came tearing down the dock dragging his leash. I knew instantly something was wrong. I could feel it in my soul. I put our dog in the house and jumped in the car to head up the mtn road. That is where I found him with two people doing CPR. EMT’S came., we rushed to the helicopter, but they weren’t able to get him stable enough for transport and that is where I lost him.

I hurt so bad. For 16 years we have been together and have grown into adults together. We rarely fought. Never raised our voices at eachother and our #1 rule was no name calling. We deeply loved each other. It was hard hearing at the service how people saw as one, a unit, like nothing any other couple could compare. It made my greif that more intense knowing I lost my soul mate and everyone knew it too.

I have had people around me every day for the most part, but nights are so very lonely. I pace a lot. I stare off at objects. I do cry but have not had the big break down that everyone is telling me will come. I’m more like a zombie when I alone. So lost. My heart flutters and hurts when I try and think about moving on, then it’s like my brain shuts off and I sit and stare. Probably a defence mechanism because I cant handle the thought of my life without him.

My life as I knew it is gone. Our goals are gone. People ask if I’m ok and I nod and say yes, but truth be told how can anyone be ok after something like this?

July 28, 2013 at 8:03 pm
(378) alan says:

I feel for you. I lost my wife of 33 years 6 weeks ago. I cry every day. Everything I look at or everywhere I go reminds me of her. She had ill health and suffered a great deal. My consolation is my faith. I know she’s happy and at peace now, but the pain is still there for me.
Last week I went to the cemetery (as I had a strong compulsion to do so) and I had the worst time ever so far. Should I have gone? I don’t know, but it did give me a sense of peace afterwards. After every bad episode I have, I seem to get a little stronger, but the degree of pain I feel doesn’t diminish. The episodes of grief are diminishing in frequency,but I dread the holiday season and the long winter months.
I keep hearing that I will get through this,but nobody knows unless they’ve been through it themselves. I will remember you in my prayers and let you know that you’re not alone in your pain.

July 31, 2013 at 7:54 pm
(379) Margaret Williams says:

My husband was my life. We have a great son who lives across the street, and visits every day. I love him so much, and i know he loves me just as much. We were a close family. Now during the day when our son is at work i am as lost as can be. I know i need to be doing ‘stuff’, but it is the hardest and most heartbreaking life experence i have ever encountered. The doctors waited three days prior to my husbands release from a three week stay in the hospital to do a PET scan. Now i ask you… why would they do this, then come in his room and show him all the ‘Hot spots’ to his face. He was so sick he could only comprehend the fact that he was going to die. He did die two days later at home. He was used up by the medical profession. A strong man, yes in deed, but only a few could endure what he did prior. I have called the hospital. All i want is answers. From a grieving wife.

July 31, 2013 at 11:49 pm
(380) Margaret Williams says:

I would like to add to my last post….
We would have been married forty nine years September 26th. My husband passed away at 12:26PM. Our son was born 45 years earlier at 12:26AM.
I will always love my Bill. To me he was first, last, and always….

August 3, 2013 at 9:08 pm
(381) Sue says:

My husband and I lost our son in November 2012. He was 29 and left behind a 7 year old daughter, 2 sisters 2 grandmas as well as several nieces and nephews. I miss him so very much. The pain is horrible. I’ve been told that it will get better, but I don’t think so. There is such a deep hole in my heart’ an emptiness. We adopted his daughter which kind of helps with the pain, but it never goes away. Sometimes I just want to die, just to be with him. My daughters are going to counseling, which seems to help them, but it didn’t help me. My FAITH has helped. I know where my son is and someday I will see him again.

August 6, 2013 at 11:23 pm
(382) Anjali Premchand says:

One moment he was there talking to me…………….within few seconds he took his last breath, leaving me with no option but go into a state of shock. So healthy, handsome, humorous, jovial……………how could he leave me like that. Now I am living a lonely life, so lost, but kicked back for the sake of my daughter………….

August 11, 2013 at 9:18 am
(383) Mrs. Jackson says:

I just lost my husband of 13yrs….. we had been together for 16 yrs Max …. and I’m only 34 ….. 3 wks hes gone…he was only diagnosis with colon cancer in Feb and by July he was gone. It hurts so much all I do is cry-cry I feel lost without him. He was the strong tough one in the family – the feeling is surreal that I would never see hold talk tohim or smell him again – I had love to just smell him… I feel like being with him and truth be told that I think of it often – but then it means I wouldn’t get to see him and God would be angrry

I was there with him from the beginning to the last breath of this journey – I saw the last rise n fall of his chest and it felt like it was mine -it was tramatic it hurt so much -I don’t know how to go on I put kn a face to all those calling or stopping to ask how I’m fling – id say ok -but honestly km a mess complete mess – I just want him back I want his arms holding me my tender kisses on my lips or forehead – my raspy voice messages all gone just memories.

Its too hard… all I do is sleep work to keep busy n sleep again. I have no motivation to do anything else … I was a exercise buff but he too I feel bad thinking of doing or wanting to do things which he loved as we did most of them together. I just cant get over hes gone – I have no one that close to me he was everything to me – we didn’t have kids -I wasn’t lucky but we weredesperstely trying now I have nothing of his – just memories – nothing of flesh.

I just want to die of s broken heart and go n be with him. I Ms him terribly….

August 11, 2013 at 12:12 pm
(384) Kismet says:

I lost my fiance’ 26 days ago. he was not only lover, but also bestfriend, we were soulmate. it happened already, he’s left me. seeing his brothers and sisters, how easily they moved on, except his mother. i feel like his mother, just like me we will never get over the pain.

I have nobody to talk to about my suffering, and the pain so terrible. I am worried about myself, since he died I haven’t really let out how i am feeling, i cried but seems like it wasn’t enough crying, still the pain is here. yesterday morning the weather was nice in the morning, it was suppose to be nice weather, but after realizing it, I just feel too much pain and cried. I heard the nice song, it’s supposed nice song but i felt pain upon hearing it, even the good food, i cannot appreciate them anymore. I am worried about myself, I have one son and he is still very young, how am I going to raise him normally and teach him good things about life if I am becoming not normal anymore? I’m trying to keep myself busy, and occupied but there’s never a day that i didn’t think about him I can still hear his sweet voice, how am I going to live normally if like this. I cannot talk about these things to anyone these are too much drama, but these are truly how i feel, and I am afraid for myself and for my son. God please help me.

August 11, 2013 at 7:12 pm
(385) Joan says:

My husband died 3months ago. I took care of him for 2 1/2 years with no help. We worked together became very good friends and was my soulmate. He was the only person in my entire life I felt ever loved me. My mother was extremely cruel and abusive. She tried to drown me in a tub of hot water at 6 yrs old and I don’t know what I did till this day. She beat me unmercifully, abusive emotionally,physically, mentally, etc. I have scars in my head and body. Never knew a mother’s love, never played outside. I was adopted and her family made my life a hell growing up because I was not their blood. This began at age 7 and still continues today. My adoptive father was always overseas and he was beaten when he came home. I was never told I was loved I was just her slave and maid she paid for by adoption. My husband loved me so deeply and we were so close. Now he is gone it is so hard to want to live. I ask God everyday let me die I kneed relief from the hurt and pain and each day I am disappointed I am still here. Some days I become so desperate I scream in agony. Why did I suffer so badly. I know for a fact my adoption was a curse. My folks had plenty of money yet i was left homeless three times and I have been disabled since age 12. Shot in the I mouth at 21 years old had to drop out of college could not talk anymore. I have no family or friends because I don’t trust people. I am so alone. My mother died many years ago and now my father says he disowns me and I was always there for him. How do you get adopted and the get disowned. My husband was all I had and now he is gone forever. I don’t try to survive I just exist and don’t know how long I can do that. My heart is truly broken can’t recover.

August 15, 2013 at 1:42 am
(386) Broken Widow says:

I came to this site because I was searching the web. I have a therapist and support from medical doctors but I am not the person I was since my husband committed suicide in front of me. I don’t want to die but I love him so much and I don’t want my love for him to cause me to die of a broken heart. He was my friend my hubby my everything. I don’t really dress like I use to. I just put on clothes cause I have to. I will sleep all day if I could just to pass the time for me to pick up my kids from school. I’m crying typing this. I never really owned up to these feelings until now. How do I move on from here. I’m so lost and hurt. On top of this his family hates me and my kids because my husband committed suicide. thay blame us. I loved him and now i’m being blamed for his death..Lord help me..I’m so hurt I don’t know what to do.

August 26, 2013 at 9:34 am
(387) Ottawa says:

I think I am dying or will die of a broken heart. My teen son sexually abused my 4 year old daughter. I had to lose him to protect her. I have not seen him or even met his children My other son is on crack and is an alcoholic. My daughter wants nothing to do with me. I did everything humanly possible to try to help my daughter heal. She is 26 now and hates me. I am guessing she hates me because I failed to protect her – at a time where I had no clue she needed protection from her own seemingly loving and kind brother. She has rejected me on and off since she is 12 years old, and I had to defend her and myself to all my siblings, and Dad as of course the blame for a rotten kid always resides with Mom who is naturally “unfit” since she did not know what went on under her very nose.

Anyways, I have lost significant others, a son, another son to addictions and now my daughter which in turns means I will never see her children again – and I adore them, and her. I have had many years of therapy, to try to cope. I have many years of Al-Anon as well. I am on Prozac now and it helps, but my Mother’s Day are alone, Xmas is alone, Thanksgiving alone, no phone calls, no acknowlegement that I even exist. I just don’t matter and I cannot force my kids to care about me, call me, show SOME kind of interest. I am highly educated, now retired and had a successful career in the Government of Canada. I am 60. I have never done drugs, drank the odd bit of wine, never lied, stole, committed any criminal offence – I thought I was a pretty good role model. I offered everything to my kids, free cars, tuition, free therapy, whatever they want to help turn their lives around. All to no avail. So today I have decided to quit fighting to have them in my life, but my heart is broken as I know I must accept what IS, should move on to find some other pseudo family, but really don’t care to put that kind of hope or energy into moving forward.

September 16, 2013 at 9:15 am
(388) Pat says:

My husband of 50 years died 4 weeks ago. He was diagnosed with bowel and liver cancer on the 22nd March 2013. He had an operation on the 1st of May, and we were informed all the cancer from his bowel had been removed, and it was just a matter of keyhole surgery to remove the spots of cancer from his liver, and he would then be in remission. On the 28th June we were told the cancer had spread throughout his body, and that it was very aggressive, and he only had months to live. He died on the 22nd of August. He spent the last weeks of his life sorting everything out, so that things would be easier for me after he had gone. I suppose I was fortunate because we knew his time on earth was going to be short, we talked about things, shared our feelings, we told each other every day just how much we loved one another, and shared lots of memories. We held hands, kissed and cuddled like teenagers, which was nice. We had been together since we were 11 years old. But now he has gone I am in so much pain, I can’t stop crying, my life means nothing without him, and I just want to die. I can’t see the point of me being here anymore. My heart is broken, and half of me is missing. I do not want to go on in this meaningless life anymore.

October 10, 2013 at 8:26 pm
(389) Davinia says:

Hello all ..I have felt heart ache for 12years now I was only 23 an I lost my two beautiful children in a house fire it ripped me apart I have had heart breaks were boyfriends have dumped me but never in this world have I ever felt pain the way I do when I am having a down day ..people always ask me how do I get through it well see when I lost them at the time I was expecting again my son who is a lovely young lad an I look at him like he is my little hero because if it wasn’t for him I don’t no how I would have got through it…I had to stay strong for him an to bring him in tithe world so I don’t have time to think really an then I had another child my daughter again she eased my mind as two children then well they kept me on my toes ..now their older it’s startin to sink in an it does hurt like hell an the pain u feel is unbearable but I cry let it all out an I then get on with my life till it happens again not sure if it’s normal but it’s how I have coped with it past few years as my kids are older now an I have more time to think an to my self ..it is hard but we are all put to the test an I think it takes a lot to past the test an to have support helps even more

November 13, 2013 at 4:03 pm
(390) heartbroken says:

im 25 years old i just lost my husband on his birthday in october i dont know what to do he was the love of my life my high school sweetheart and hes all that i ever known. i dont know how to deal with this and go on with my life

November 23, 2013 at 3:18 am
(391) Ray says:

Lost my wife 3 weeks ago.had a lot of medical issues but she was finally doing well. Last week we we’re suppose to buy a condo in myrtle beach sc.it was going to be our summer home until I retired in 3 years.she had fallen and broke her leg and wrist. Was staying at my daughters house while she was on the mend as I work long hours.i called her every day told her how I loved her and she would tell me I still gave her butter flys in her stomach like the day we met.we were at a good place for our love was forever and ever as we would say to each other.my heart is broken and I miss her.we would hold hands when we slept at night.i having a hard time dealing with my loss. She was a loving mother, wife grandmother and sister.i just got over cancer and loss of her mother now my baby’s gone.very hard dealing with all of it nothing is ever going to be the same.

December 19, 2013 at 6:12 pm
(392) Debra Johns says:

I would never consider hurting myself because I feel I would be disrespecting his memory but I can’t seem to find a reason to be here. No one needs me. I feel I’m in the way. Mother of my grand kids decided she didn’t want Xmas gift from me because she didn’t want to worry about getting me anything. She said she wants to concentrate on family…what am I? 3month anniversary of his death was also my birthday. She didn’t even have kids make me a card. Grandpa was everything to them. I’m just an extra in the way. I miss him so much. He was my everything. He made my birthday so special. His death was not expected. I went into our bedroom and I just knew he was gone. There was an emptiness I can’t explain. I don’t leave the house much..can’t go to the beach yet..these places he loved. I know time is supposed to help but I don’t know if I can make it thru today. I’m miles from home but he passed here..I can’t leave. I don’t want to bother anyone like I’m the only one ever suffered a loss. They don’t want to hear it. I sit in my car and cry and scream at the world. I don’t take care of my own health maybe because if I die I die. As long as it’s not by my own hand he won’t be disappointed in me. I just want to see him again. I talk to a star each nite. Sometime I feel his warmth. I just want to hold him one more time.

December 19, 2013 at 7:24 pm
(393) Sheri says:

Hi Debra,
I truly understand what you are saying. I am approaching the 2nd month anniversary of losing Bob and have good days and bad days. I do have a very supportive family and I’m taking it just one day at a time, reminding myself that I am loved and needed by family and friends, making sure that I am taking care of myself, rejoicing in little things, and remembering that it will get better.

February 10, 2014 at 5:55 pm
(394) Anon says:

I just wanted to say that I don’t know what your situation is or what you’re going through but everyone experiences pain in your lifetime. It doesn’t matter what the situation is whether your wife died or your boyfriend broke up with you. It’s how you handle your situation and how much you care. It could be something really big that doesn’t really matter to you or it could be something that seems to small and meaningless but it means the world to you. If you love someone or something so much and it gets taken from you or leaves then you’re going to have a broken heart. My first and only boyfriend dumped me with no explanation why or any sympathy and started dating my friends. We had been together for a year, just two kids in junior high who really weren’t even supposed to date yet. We both played saxophone together. We sat together in class. He wrote me notes and gave me his pencils. It seems like such a small thing but I loved him. I still do. I believe that love is not a thing that can die. If you really love someone, there’s always going to be something there in your heart at some level. And I know what it’s like to have a broken heart. It feels like your chest is being torn apart. The thing that really bothered me was no one understood what I was going through. My friends tried to comfort me by telling me that I’ll get over it and I don’t really love him. Well I’ll tell you right now that they were doing the opposite, instead of helping me they were hurting me. I went into depression all the next year. Don’t you ever let anyone tell you how you’re feeling. No one knows that but God and I really don’t know where I’d be if it weren’t for God. I’m just saying what I believe I have put my trust in Jesus Christ alone to forgive me of my sins and even when you don’t think God knows what he’s doing, he does.

February 10, 2014 at 5:57 pm
(395) Anon says:

(This is continued) There is a purpose for everything. Even if you don’t know why things go wrong, there is a reason. I don’t know why God did what he did. I may never. We may never know why things happen but the thing I try to remember now is that I want what God wants because God wants what’s best for me. I’m still sad. The only thing I’ve accomplished this year is getting out of my depression and being kind to people again which is a step in the right direction. God is why we’re here, not to live our lives for man. So I’m going to tell as many people as I can before Jesus comes back. And there are still times when I’m sad. Of course you’ll be sad. God never said things would be perfect. I mean look around at all the sin in the world. It’s kind of why we need a savior, right? There are still days when I’m very emotional. There are days when I can’t bare to listen to saxophone or even play mine. But you have to keep living life even when it feels like there’s nothing left. I almost went suicidal for a while if God hadn’t stepped in and said, “You are mine. I love you.” So don’t give up hope and even when you feel like God and everyone’s deserted you, they haven’t. I mean, I thought that no one understood until I stumbled across this website. Whether you’re a freshman girl in high school or an 80 year old man we’re all going to struggle but trust in the Lord. Thanks for reading. <3

February 10, 2014 at 5:58 pm
(396) Anon says:

Instead of sulking around on Valentines Day, read this website -you’re not alone. :)

February 14, 2014 at 10:05 pm
(397) Melissa says:

I lost my husband suddenly in september, he had a heard attack in the woods alone and we didnt find him until the next day, on my birthday, they tried to say he died the day they found him which was my birthday, but we know he died the day before, he had a massive heart attack and died instantly, I dropped him off and was going to pick him up in an 1hr but he never showed up. We have been together since I was 16 and he was 18, I had a child by someone else but he didnt care he said we were meant to be together and I will see that eventually, that he came all the way from florida just to find me and that when he saw me he knew. We had been inseperable for the past 27 years until his death. We went through the stages of our lives together, it was like life didnt exist until he came along into mine, and now that he is gone there is no purpose in my life I just think everyday what it will be that will take me to him and how long it will be and I just hope to god he is there waiting for me and that I go soon and quickly

February 20, 2014 at 10:00 am
(398) moodie says:

Greetings!
Dear Melissa,
Every now + then I’m wishing that tears could be a stairs to heaven so that I can bring my husband back. I loved him so much he is my everything. Life at present quite incomplete wherever, I go still an enormous emptiness POP IN.
Sorry to hear about your loss as well. They said We are threads in the great tapestry of time. Have faith. Every stitch has a reason. In my thoughts and heart my husband is always alive!
Have blessed one.
Regards
Mrs. O

March 5, 2014 at 11:00 pm
(399) Warren says:

My fiance passed away on February 25th the pain hurts so much and I just want to kill myself

March 17, 2014 at 1:45 am
(400) butterflyeffect23 says:

Hello everyone! I’m 26 and lost my soul mate of 7yrs. He was 33 yrs old and died on 11.19.2013 4 days before my birthday. We were only separated for 3 weeks due to our conflicts in our relationship so I gave up to feel my heart breaking during our relationship because everything was out of control. we were off and on, but always came back to each other because we knew each other so well like no other. He explained he had learned his lesson and i was the best person he had ever met and wanted me back, but due to that certain lifestyle we lived I couldn’t handle it anymore. he was a great intelligent,caring guy w a huge heart who always helped when he can. our connection was music old school music like soul,jazz,all genres of oldies. we had so much in common and i cant seem to get over my mistake i made and all i want is for me to be with him again. every day my heart breaks w every passing second of the min within the hour til the late of dawn. i started drinking more than i ever did and i thought going to church would help me, but i cant see my life without him. i was pushed to the limit to move on w my life since none of his family ever approved of our relationship and no one understood how we loved each other so much. my love for him went down to the core of my heart through my soul. we never had a chance to have a family since his ego and pride got in the way. i’m so confused w life. i dont want to go out of my way to find another love because all i want is him. i have been having strong pain in my heart and waiting for the day to be with him again. i remember that sad day clearly sleeping in our room on 11.19.13 and dreaming of him smiling at me making me laugh and waking to my own laughter on 11.20.13 in the early dawn at 3 or 4 am.. i miss him and want him back.

March 22, 2014 at 11:54 am
(401) Lee says:

It never gets better at all as far as I feel; 20 months ago, my husband died, and part of me died with him. Now, every day I keep saying today is the day I will commit suicide; but I have no courage, and I do not want to hurt him if he is knowing my thoughts. Also, he worked so hard for what he left behind, why should I give it all away by dying, to ungrateful relatives who are too busy for me and my grieving heart.

Believe me, if I knew I’d still be “allowed by God” into Heaven, I’d have found a way to depart. I can’t stand it; I’m so alone, really have no one I can really say loves me, only he did, and my parents.

I miss him so much, there is not a second of a day or night since he took his last breath that I don’t think about him or cry. If I sleep at night it’s for a few hours, I wake up almost every morning forgetting that he died.

The pain hurts 24/7, and I am physically sick from it. No matter what I do, where I go, I cry because he is not with me.

Is there a Heaven, and if so, are our loved ones themselves, waiting for us, and not just a “lighted spirit” that requires mental telepathy to communicate with them? I want to go back, and relive our lives; I miss everything about my life with him and with my parents and family. I hate life, I exist, and I wish someone would kill me.
I ask God to let me be with Him and them; I ask to not wake up.
I will never get over this, no one will be able to talk me out of this grief.

I miss you, Babe, why can’t you come home???
Love, E

March 26, 2014 at 12:37 pm
(402) ursula says:

Hi Lee
I know how you feel. It has been 23 months for me and we were together 37 years. I don’t want to be here either and I feel exactly as you do but I know that suicide is not the answer because of my Catholic belief I would never ever ever see him again. The only thing that helps me is trying to stay busy, reading a lot of books about Afterlife, going to Mass, and also professional help which I started 23 months ago. And I have seen things that tell me that he is ok and happy and waiting for me. I too do not have any family in town and we never had children. It is still a struggle and will be for the rest of my life. Just keep busy and try some of the above I mentioned.
thanks

April 2, 2014 at 2:08 pm
(403) Casey says:

It has now been almost 1.5 years since I lost my wife. We had been together for going on 60years and married for 50 of them; since we were 16 years old. She has been a part of absolutely everything in my adult life that has ever been important to me. I miss her terribly. I was never one who was much for emotions, but I have shed tears absolutely every day since I lost her. It is not that I set out wanting to die, but I want so much to be with her again. I will hold her close and cry tears of joy. With those tears, all of the hurt and pain that is in my heart will simply come pouring out.

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