According to a recent study, if you want your marriage to last a long time, you need more than love. Love is certainly important, but factors such as your age difference, income, smoking habits, and being opposites can eventually hurt your marriage.
From 2001 through 2007, Australian researchers Dr. Rebecca Kippen, Professor Bruce Chapman, and Dr. Peng Yu tracked 2,482 couples. The study from Melbourne Institute, What's love got to do with it? Homogamy and dyadic approaches to understanding marital instability, examines the "factors which currently determine marital longevity."
"We find the following factors are associated with higher risk of marital separation: large age difference between husband and wife, wife has a much stronger preference than her husband for a(nother) child, young age at marriage, separation of husband's parents, resident children born before marriage, dissatisfaction with the relationship, low household income, husband is unemployed, wife drinks more than her husband, and one spouse smokes where the other does not ... Perhaps surprisingly, we find that the following differences in variables between marriage partners are not associated with separation: education, country of birth, and religiosity."
We are not surprised by the results of the study. Other research on marriage and divorce had similar findings although the Australian study didn't link religious differences to divorce.
So what are you to do if your marriage has several negative factors listed in the study? Two thoughts:
- First, don't panic and remember that your marriage is unique. Bob and I are about as opposite as we can be, have weathered some rough patches together, and we are approaching our 46th wedding anniversary. If you do sense that your marriage is in trouble, don't wait to get professional help.
- Second, make time for one another on a regular basis. We mean time to talk, time to have fun, time to connect with each other.
Learn More:
More Tips for a Long Lasting Marriage
Thanks, Sheri and Bob, for your insights. I love the book, The Case for Marriage by Linda Waite and Maggie Gallagher. This book researched marriages and found that people who were stubbornly committed making their marriage work tend to stay together.
So I would say, no, love alone is not enough, but we already knew that. Love, persistence, and commitment to the marriage are just a few of the things needed to create and maintain a marriage.
Michelle E. Vasquez, MS, LPC
I’ve been married 34 years now and the secret to a long marriage is compromise and laughter….if your spouse makes you laugh and continues to make you laugh you have it made in the shade! The ability to compromise is also an important factor as no two people are the same and you will always have a difference of opinion at some point. Make sure you have common goals before entering into marriage so that you can spend your lives together achieving them and don’t be afraid to let the other person grow!