From the Marriage Forum: "Your argument is with your wife. This man is not your problem, your wife is... if she is unfaithful/looking for love outside the marriage on whatever level, if it isn't/wasn't HIM it would be someone else. But, you have basically now made him a central figure in YOUR marriage, which

1) distracts you from dealing with your wife.

2) means you now may end up having conversations/emails/communications with him, which is a distraction from the issues at hand.

3) gives your wife something to bitch/fight about (why did you contact him) instead of her staying on the issues at hand. "

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