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How To Know When to Call It Quits When You Wonder if You Should Stay or Go


Photo: Gary S. Chapman / Getty Images
How do you know when to throw in the towel or when your marriage has reached the point of no return? Ask yourself some key questions before making the decision to file for divorce.
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: Varies

Here's How:

  1. Are the two of you fussing with one another over trivial matters?

  2. Does just about everything about your spouse irritate you?

  3. Has your spouse physically or emotionally abused you? Are you afraid of your spouse?

  4. Do you believe that your love, patience and hope have just all run out?

    Video: Signs You've Fallen Out of Love With Your Spouse

  5. Can you communicate about anything or do you always end up in a disagreement? When you fight, do you fight fair? Do either of you bring up past hurts?

  6. When was the last time you had fun together? When was the last time you felt sexually attracted to each other? Do you still make love?

  7. Do the same problems keep resurfacing again and again? Have you tried counseling? Can you accept that your personal unhappiness is your own responsibility?

  8. Does your spouse constantly put you down, attack your self-esteem, and/or criticize you? Do you have any respect for your spouse? Does your spouse respect you?

  9. Are you willing to co-parent the rearing of your children with your ex-spouse?

  10. Are your goals and values different?

  11. Can you compromise on important issues?

  12. Has your spouse been unfaithful?

  13. Do the same problems keep resurfacing again and again?

  14. Do you have dreams of divorce or that your spouse died?

  15. Do you have a plan if you do divorce? Are you able to cope with the financial and emotional stresses of divorce?


  1. It is important that you face the realities of divorce and not the fantasy.

  2. Sometimes an unhealthy relationship cannot be saved and divorce is inevitable.

  3. Realize that you must keep yourself emotionally and physically healthy through this stressful time. You won't make rational decisions if you are depressed or sleep deprived.

What You Need

  • Courage
  • Self-esteem
  • Self-respect
  • A Plan
  • Realistic Expectations
  • Honesty

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