5 Reasons to Get Married, According to a Relationship Expert

#2 is more crucial than you might think.

Young black bride a groom embracing and kissing at sunset during an outdoor wedding ceremony.

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If you’ve found a partner who warms your heart and brings happiness to every corner of your life, you may find yourself daydreaming about upping the ante in your relationship. And for good reason: Marriage can be an absolutely wonderful next step with all sorts of personal and shared benefits. 

“Marriage is a partnership,” says psychotherapist Priya Tahim. “Beyond the physical components of sharing your life with someone, you’re also allowing them to help you through all of the ups and downs that life brings.”

Meet the Expert

Based in Washington, D.C., and Texas, Priya Tahim is a licensed professional counselor and owner of Kaur Counseling.

Still, no matter how much joy a person brings you, or the strength of your sexual chemistry, there are certain factors to consider before getting engaged. How do you know if you’re ready to marry your partner?

Below, discover five key reasons for getting married, according to an expert.

01 of 05

Your Trust Runs Both Ways

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In a healthy partnership, trust moves beyond the basic expectation that your partner will be honest with you. It’s more of an all-encompassing feeling that this person has your back, and has your best interests in mind at all times.  

“Trust in a partnership is relying on each other, working as a team, and being able to show up for each other when the other isn’t in a good place,” Tahim elaborates. “Not everyone can show up 100 percent every day, and that’s where your partner can help.” 

Trust also provides a safe space for vulnerability, and allows you to be open with your partner when you’re feeling insecure in the relationship. Whether it's a concern about infidelity or financial issues, if you know you can come to your partner with the hard questions and that you’ll weather those storms together, chances are high that you’ve found someone to spend the rest of your life with.

02 of 05

You Fight Fair

Woman sitting in bath facing her partner, having a serious conversation at home.

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All long-term relationships have their issues, which means conflict is inevitable. But just because you disagree doesn’t mean your relationship isn’t ready for the next step! If you think marriage is in your future, it’s crucial to evaluate how you handle these disagreements. 

“The key is to fight fair, which means you’re focusing on the topic causing conflict rather than focusing on what flaws your partner has,” says Tahim. “Remember that you and your partner are on the same team—focus on where the misalignment is coming from.” 

It’s also necessary to pay attention to each other’s communication tactics in these tough conversations. If you or your partner allow one issue to quickly snowball into the next, use aggressive language, refuse to take responsibility for missteps, or are regularly employing other common mistakes couples make when arguing then you may have work to do before you decide to further entwine your lives.

03 of 05

You've Talked About the Big Things

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Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to be on the same page about all of life’s big questions—or even know where you personally stand—before getting married. 

“Learning to live together, intertwining your lives, scheduling, etc. can all be things you work out as you continue to get to know each other,” says Tahim. “As we learn more about each other, we naturally grow together.” 

That said, there are two topics you’ll definitely want to discuss, and those are finances and kids.

Tahim suggests the following as conversation starters: “How do you imagine your finances to look in five, 10, 15 years? What type of lifestyle do you envision for yourself?” She also notes that it’s hard to come back from not being on the same page about wanting children. “When one person has their hopes up, someone always gets hurt.”

04 of 05

You Respect What's Important to Each Other

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This is especially crucial in intercultural or interfaith relationships, where core values might differ in fundamental ways. 

“[These] relationships can thrive, it just takes a lot of clear communication and boundary setting,” says Tahim. “If some aspect of your culture or religion is important to you, be open, honest, and clear about your expectations.” 

Thankfully, a partner committed to the long haul will demonstrate an active interest in these facets of your life precisely because they are an essential component of your identity. While they might not share in all of your beliefs, they will take the time to learn about them, participate when they feel comfortable, and support you in taking the time you need to participate in related events, worship, and practices.

05 of 05

You're a Huge Part of Each Other's Lives

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Some couples get engaged six months in, others wait five years. Though the average length of an engagement falls somewhere in between, there is no magic number for how long you should date or how many benchmarks you should hit before getting married. What is necessary, though, is that your presence in each other’s lives extends beyond the bubble of your relationship. 

“It’s important for your partner to be part of your life and you be part of their life outside of the two of you,” says Tahim. This often translates to spending time with each other’s friends and family, being part of shared hobbies and experiences, working towards common life goals and dreams, and even just frequenting the restaurants and community spots your partner loves. While living together can undoubtedly be beneficial to this process, Tahim notes that it’s certainly not mandatory.

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