| Marriage Book Review | |
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Breaking Apart: A Memoir of Divorce
by Wendy Swallow
Hardcover, 293pp. ISBN: 0786865997
Hyperion, April 2001
Review by Sheri Stritof
This memoir of a divorce by Wendy Swallow is for:
- anyone who is considering divorce
- anyone who has already separated or who has filed for divorce
- anyone who is currently divorced and still battling with ex-spouse
- anyone who loves someone going through a divorce
- anyone who has been divorced awhile but still dealing with lingering questions
As she closely examines her marriage of twelve years, she reveals what the journey is really like. She says that "divorce was the last act of the marriage, the final dance."
I'm sure readers will find solace and inspiration as well as subtle advice in how to handle some of their own marital issues. She makes it quite clear that divorce isn't easy. It is a death and takes away a lot from both spouses, including wealth, social standing, two-parent child rearing, and sometimes, even the children. It is her children that Swallow is most concerned about as she struggles to make decision after decision. She suffered the consequences of having an inept attorney, and believing in the divorce fantasy.
The harsh realities of divorce are shared, but also how she began to understand how she was an adult "with choices, with courage, with resources" and that her unhappiness was her own responsibility. I was impressed that she and her ex-husband were finally able to successfully co-parent their two sons.
The chapter, "The Balcony Scene", is a sharing of how she had thoughts of suicide. However, she realized she couldn't abandon her children. I was there at one point during our divorce, too. She writes about this low point with great sensitivity.
Showing that a new life can be reconstructed in the midst of financial and emotional stresses, Swallow says, "how sweet life can be when you forgive and move on." I hope those on this journey will read this memoir.
