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Talk With Each Other -- Not At Each Other

The Importance of Conversation in Marriage

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Smiling couple talking on bed in modern home
Thomas Barwick/Iconica/Getty Images
Think back to when the two of you were dating one another. Did you have times when you had nothing to say to one another? Probably not.

When a couple reaches the point of not having anything to say to one another, their marriage is in serious trouble. Here are some tips on why conversation in a marriage is so essential, and topics to talk about.

Andre Maurois, French novelist and essayist, wrote, "A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short."

Most folks don't marry someone they can't talk with. A good conversation is when you are both contributing to the conversation. When you are having a good conversation with your spouse, you are both giving each other your undivided attention.

Conversation Fills Many Needs:

  • To be connected to another.
  • To have your feelings and thoughts heard and respected.

  • To learn new things.
  • To sort through issues and problems.
  • To discuss and explore solutions.
  • To reach an understanding of one another.

What to Talk About:

\Here are a few ideas.
  • Your spouse's hobbies or other interests.
  • Plans for a future trip together.
  • Memories of your childhoods.
  • Movies or television shows.
  • Things you would like to experience or places you would like to visit.
  • Something you learned during the day or something you did differently or new that day.
  • Discuss your thoughts and feelings about the day.
  • Share a few things that made your happy during the day or that you are thankful for that day.
  • Ask some questions that begin with "if you could", or "Have you ever", or "do you believe."

Although the news, weather, kids, jobs, money, household chores, health issues, in-laws, friends, etc. are all important topics that the two of you really have to talk about, try not to let them be the main focus of your conversations with each other.

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