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Rituals in Your Marriage

Reaffirm Your Love Often Through Marriage Rituals


Photo ©iStockphoto.com/Brad Killer
Photo ©iStockphoto.com/Brad Killer
When we mention rituals, we don't mean cultural or historical rituals, but private, personal rituals.

Rituals in your marriage can be silly, fun, and playful, should be private, and are often touching and meaningful.

Different for each married couple, personal rituals are those little things the two of you do that you repeat on a regular basis -- whether it be daily, monthly, or yearly. Personal rituals are a way to connect with one another, reaffirm your love for each other, and to show that you care.

John M. Gottman, Ph.D. and Nan Silver: "Creating informal rituals when you can connect emotionally is critical in a marriage."
Source: Gottman and Silver. The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work. 1999. pg. 250.
Dr. Carol Bruess, author of What Happy Couples Do: "At the core, what rituals do is they give you a sense of history, predictability, playfulness or something to look forward to."
Source: Autum Shrum. "Keeping Love Alive: Couples Say Rituals Keep Unions Happy." Florida Today, 8/31/2008.

Examples of Personal Marriage Rituals

  • Hide love notes for each other.
  • Set aside time to just enjoy the quietness with one another.
  • Leave a fresh flower each day.
  • Call one another at a specific time each day.
  • Enjoy a cup of coffee or tea or hot chocolate in bed with each other every morning.
  • Have a secret code for wanting to have sex.
  • Hold hands when driving through a tunnel.
  • Watch the first storm of the winter season at the beach.
  • Give one another a morning hug every morning.
  • Squeeze one another's hands before falling asleep each night.
  • Say a toast to one another each evening.
  • Create special nicknames for each other.

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