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Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee on Open Marriage

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With Ossie and Ruby
Here are some quote about open marriage from Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis whose thoughts about open marriage changed over time.

    Ossie: "It occurred to us, from observation and reasoning, that extramarital sex was not what really destroyed marriages, but rather the lies and deception that invariably accompanied it -- that was the culprit. So we decided to give ourselves permission to sleep with other partners if we wished -- as long as what we did was honest as well as private, and that neither of us exposed the family to scandal or disease. We had to be discreet and, if the word can be apt, honorable in our behavior, both to ourselves, to whomever else might be involved, and most of all, to the family. And for the most part, we were."
    Source: Joint biography, page 317

Ossie: "But looking back, I'd say no matter what did or did not happen, we freed each other. And in doing that, we also freed ourselves...Sex is fine, but love is better. That's the most important part of being free. In light of what we learned, is extramarital sex something we recommend as a regular part of marriage? Not now...not anymore. Not since AIDS has entered the equation, and genital herpes, syphilis, and other veneral diseases..."
Source: Joint biography, page 323-324

Ruby: "But, we both came to realize that we were very fortunate that, in all of the deep profound, fundamental ways, we really, really only wanted each other. It was like a rediscovery of something from the beginning. It's not something that you'd recommend to everybody. But often Ossie has said - and I've though too - the best way to have somebody is to let it go. If it doesn't come back you are free in another kind of sense - in that you find the strength to let go and wish somebody well. So, we thought an open marriage was appropriate for us but it turned out not to be. But then that's what we're all about, we are moving from one position to another in the process of trying to unravel this thing call life."
Source: Broadway to Vegas

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