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Jai Glasgow and Randy Pausch Marriage Profile

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Diane Sawyer described the marriage of Jai and Randy Pausch as a "strong partnership of equals." Here is more information about how Randy and Jai met, their wedding, and more.

Born:

Randolph Frederick Pausch: October 23, 1960.

Jai Glasgow:

Died:

Randy: At home in Chesapeake, Virginia on July 25, 2008 at the age of 47 from pancreatic cancer.

Donations on his behalf can be made to the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network or to the Randy Pausch Memorial Fund.

How Randy and Jai Met:

Jai and Randy met at a lecture.
Geoff Martz: "Pausch was 37, with a reputation as something of a ladies' man, when he met her at a lecture. Pausch was smitten, but she resisted. However, he refused to give up, and they eventually married and had three children."
Source: Geoff Martz, Samantha Wender, Chris Francescani, "Randy Pausch, 'Last Lecture' Professor Dies", ABCNews.go.com, 7/25/2008.
Charlotte Harvey: "... he moved back his plane reservations a day in case he could persuade Glasgow to join him for dinner the following night as well. Pausch was scheduled to host a guest speaker of his own back at Carnegie Mellon, and he called to say he wouldn’t make it. “I just told him the truth,” Pausch says. Fourteen months later he called the man back to invite him to the wedding."
Source: Charlotte Bruce Harvey. "It's Not Time Yet." Brown Alumni Magazine. 12/2007.

Wedding:

Jai and Randy were married on May 20, 2000 "in Pittsburgh, under two large oak trees in a simple ceremony with just close family and a few friends in attendance."
Source: Jai Pausch. Dream New Dreams: Reimagining My Life After Loss. 2012. pg. 7.
Randy about his happiest moment: "Personally, it was the day I proposed to my wife. Nothing could ever touch when she said, 'yes.'"
Source: "10 Questions for Randy Pausch." Time.com. 4/10/2008.
Randy: "Jai and I were married under a 100-year-old ooak tree on the lawn of a famous Victorian mansion in Pittsburgh ... we got into a huge, multicolored hot-air balloon that whisked us off into the clouds ... Then the balloon smashed through tree branches on the way up."
Source: Randy Pausch, Jeffrey Zaslow. The Last Lecture. 2008. pg. 80.

Randy and Jai honeymooned for a month in Thailand.

Children:

  • Dylan Pausch
  • Logan Pausch
  • Chloe Pausch

Occupations:

Randy: Computer science professor, author, lecturer. His book, with Jeff Zaslow is The Last Lecture: A Love Story for Your Life.

Jai: SAHM, Director of Electronic Publications at Carnegie Mellon University, author.

Previous Marriage:

Jai was previously married.
Jai: I had had a rocky first marriage to my college sweetheart, which left me cynical about marriage and my ability to find a man who could stay true to those timeless wedding vows to love, honor, and cherish."
Source: Jai Pausch. Dream New Dreams: Reimagining My Life After Loss. 2012. pg. 3.

Later Marriage:

Jai said in May 2012 that she had recently married "a wonderful man," Rich Essenmacher, "a retired naval officer" she met online.
Source: Craig Wilson. "For Jai Pausch, 'New Dreams' in wake of grief." USAToday.com. 5/15/2012.
Jai: "I didn't know I could love so deeply again."
Source: Jai Pausch. Dream New Dreams: Reimagining My Life After Loss. 2012. pg. 227.

Quotes Pertaining to the Marriage of Jai and Randy Pausch:

Jai: "That's where I think we could step in and help caregivers and say it's normal to feel this way, it's okay to have resentment, it's okay to have anger ... And I came to realize, after Randy had passed, that I had the ability to make magic, too... I have magic in me, too. And it didn't die like I thought ... When a dream shatters, pick up the pieces and get a new one. It won't be the same as the broken one. But one can hope it will be as vibrant and exciting. I've had to give myself permission to let go of the old dreams."
Source: Tess Scott. "Lessons After the Last Lecture From Jai Pausch." ABCNews.go.com. 5/15/2012.

Jai: "Even as I took these small steps, Randy wasn't forgotten. Choosing to live and finding ways to nurture and support myself didn't erase the pain or the loneliness, but the effort helped ... As the clouds of grief and fear began to dissipate, I started to think about how I wanted to live my life. I didn't feel guilty about leaving Randy behind. I didn't love him any less because I created new holiday tradtions. He was a part of me, a part of the family we had made together."
Source: Jai Pausch. Dream New Dreams: Reimagining My Life After Loss. 2012. pg. 160.

Randy: “Jai loves to have fresh flowers in the house,” he says. He’s arranged for weekly deliveries for a year after his death. The fifty-second week, the bouquet will come with a note: “Now it's time to get a new guy."
Source: Charlotte Bruce Harvey. "It's Not Time Yet. Brown Alumni Magazine. 12/2007.

Randy about forgiveness: "Proper apologies have three parts:
1) What I did was wrong.
2) I feel badly that I hurt you.
3) How do I make this better?"
Source: Randy Pausch, Jeffrey Zaslow. The Last Lecture. 2008. pg. 162.

Jai's whisper to Randy at the 'Last Lecture': "Please don't die."
Source: Randy Pausch, Jeffrey Zaslow. The Last Lecture. 2008. pg. 203.

Randy: "I mean, the metaphor I've used is ... somebody's going to push my family off a cliff pretty soon, and I won't be there to catch them. And that breaks my heart. But I have some time to sew some nets to cushion the fall. So, I can curl up in a ball and cry, or I can get to work on the nets."
Source: Geoff Martz, Samantha Wender, Chris Francescani. "Randy Pausch, 'Last Lecture' Professor Dies." ABCNews.go.com. 7/25/2008.

Randy about Jai and marriage: "Most of all, I want Jai to be happy in the years ahead. So if she finds happiness through remarriage, that will be great. If she finds happiness without remarrying, that also will be great. Jai and I work hard at our marriage. We've gotten so much better at communicating, at sensing each other's needs and strengths, and at finding more things to love about each other. So it saddens us that we won't get to experience this richness in our marriage for the next thirty or forty years. We won't get to amortize the hard efforts we've put in so far. Still, we wouldn't trade our eight years of marriage for anything."
Source: Randy Pausch, Jeffrey Zaslow. The Last Lecture. 2008. pg. 202.

Randy on a statement in their marriage: "Not everything needs to be fixed."
Source: Randy Pausch, Jeffrey Zaslow. The Last Lecture. 2008. pg. 87.

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