So Jealous ...
- I'm so jealous of all these guys that look at porn and have wives who are waiting to have sex with them. The only reason I look at porn is that my wife won't have sex with me very often. It's always something, always some reason to avoid it. I'm 5'10 and 180lbs and take care of myself. I'm not bad looking. She tells me she just doesn't like sex and otherwise our marriage is strong, that's why I stuck with her. She's a good person, she just doesn't like sex. If it wasn't for porn, I would go nuts from lack of any sexual experience. When she has sex with me, I don't look at porn, but it never lasts. Maybe for a week or so we'll get a couple sessions in but inevitably she drifts away. In my case, I think porn helps the marriage work because I know that when she rejects me I have a fall-back that won't.
- —Guest -Guest Matt
- I confronted my husband today about watching porn. You guessed it, my fault. I try and try and his response is I try when the kids Are around or family.! Untrue!! I try in bed and he told me never!!!really?? I try and try and never nothing! I'm tired of this. I told him, he does what he does and I'll do what I will do! So I will find someone else! Don't judge either! It's not fair to feel this way. I'm so sad. I love him. If I did or he did I would probablynthrow up. I just want him to feel the same way I do. And where is he right now? In the bedroom watching porn! I want to kill myself!! I hate feeling this way. I will divorce him tomorrow. I can't believe he blames me... When all I want to do is love him on the deepest level.
- —Guest Really?
What Porn Does to a Relationship
- I have been with my boyfriend for two years. Our relationship was wonderful and exciting for the first year and our sex life was always amazing. We did have a talk about porn in the beginning and he said that he hadn't looked at since long before we had dated. He also told me he didn't need it when he had me. Just the other week I went to use his phone and saw in his history, porn. I was heartbroken right there. I get some women are ok with porn but I just can't be. It objectifies women. He also lied right to my face about it and still does. I don't feel good enough now and my insecurities are so much more worse now. It's hard to love someone who doesn't truly want you, I've decided it's time to move on.
- —Guest Meg
- So, bgleazen, what you're saying is that despite there being no physical or emotional connection, if you feel it, then it must be so? I'm sorry. I just can't see how viewing porn constitutes cheating. Dislike it all you like, and only date or marry individuals who do not view it, but saying something is so, doesn't make it so. And, to address your last point, your husband brought a "technique" to your bed, not another woman. You would have noticed her if he had.
- Men and women were obviously not made for each other. Google 'Coolidge effect" not even if they cheat, but its WHY men lose interest in us once they GET us. Why we are never enough. Women, we are not crazy. We are good enough. Men are hard wired to leave us. But society tells them they must marry us. Its a mans world. Sucks to be a woman
- —Guest mensuck
Like a Stab to the Heart
- Finding out my husband of 19 years has been viewing porn on his phone devastated me. My husband is another classic example of a man that argues that "you can't cheat with your eyes", or "watching porn isn't cheating". Maybe not to the man doing it, it doesn't feel that way. But we women are emotional creatures, and we tend to be better connected to our feelings. I'd really like to know how many wives truly desensitize themselves to their husbands viewing porn. That, to me, was a huge betrayal. It has given me low self esteem. He thinks I'm angry about it. Well, of course I am, you idiot! However, I'm more hurt than angry. My husband is still very much interested in sex with me. After 19 years of marriage though, and he all of a sudden comes up with a new "technique", I know where it came from. Therefore, he is thinking of that fantasy woman, and brought her into my bed. That sure feels like adultery to me!
- —Guest bgleazen
Porn is Ruining My Life
- My boyfriend of 2 years is addicted to porn and won't admit it to himself, he tells me I'm crazy and it's my fault he watches it. We had a baby exactly 1 year ago and I still loved having sex after our son. Then I noticed he just wasn't into it, he started telling me it's because I'm not doing something right and he accused me of not being into the sex when I was. Finally I realized what the problem was when I caught him master-bating in the living room while he thought I was asleep the same night we tried to have sex and he wouldn't get off. Now I feel like I'm not good enough and now I'm just too plain disgusted to even touch him because I feel like all he's going to think about is porn stars. It's ruining our relationship, he won't go see a councilor and tells me he doesn't have a problem. How can he not see that the porn ruining our relationship is a problem?! Someone please help me before I lose my mind!!!!!
- —Guest Low self esteem
Good 4 U
- Go have an affair. As women we will never be good enough for the men who claim 2 love us. Y?? Because the risk of losing us. dosent compare to the whore who will do any sexual favor as long as u pay her phone bill
- —Guest Cici88
Only Young Women Accept Porn
- When I was young, and "hot", I didnt mind my husband watching porn. BUT it was not on the internet back then, it was not everywhere.. online. Now I am in my fifties. I am no longer HOT. but I am attractive. Yet, to know my boyfriend watches young girls and masturbates, expect me to give him blowjobs like the videos, and yet does NOT go down on me?? I feel men are selfish, and after enough porn, their minds will believe they can only get off to young perfect bodies. My boyfriend takes forever to get off with me, but five minutes on porn! I am hurt, I feel old and unattractive. He doesnt want me in a nightie, instead, he asks me to wear a Tshirt. He clearly does not see me as sexy in any way. I believe he likes sex with me, because he gets a BJ. why do men not understand, if we women would look at HOT men, then we would NOT be interested in their old bodies either. NOT all men, after 50 watch porn. The percentage goes down. Porn has turned me off to my boyfriend. SAD.
- —Guest susie
- I am sick and tired of knowing about mf bf watching porn. We have only had sex once in a year. He doesnt see this as a problem. I have triedinitiating but he turns me down or calls me a pervert for wanting sex. I am naturaly shy so I have zero cconfidence now. I am giving him back my engagement ring tonight. I cant take it any more. Its me or porn.
- —Guest Lonely
I Was That Husband Who Was Addicted
- Hello everyone, I want to let you know that I had been addicted to Internet porn for over 5 years. My wife was devastated when she found out the first time - which was a 2 year addiction - then later she could see the signs again and suspected that I was back into it - which I didn't deny. I wanted help, I would watch porn for hours on end and masturbate 3 times a day looking at naked women who were having sex - fantasizing that I was their partner. Porn creates fantasies - ones that can ruin a marriage - separate families and destroy your self esteem. I was depressed, insecure and wanted to stop for so long. Thankfully, I have a beautiful, loving wife (I know all of you are too) that made me see the way out - I sought counseling and was able to make a full recovery - no more porn. I bought my wife sexy lingerie and our sex life is better than ever- I fantasize about doing it with her in different settings / outfits & positions. Coming up to 21 yrs married....
- —Guest Decca
It Killed Me and My Dreams
- People will try to claim there is something wrong with me and i can't find any advice other than "get over it".... my husband is the only man i've ever been with but i was trying to satisfy my husband by letting him come late in me when he wanted and the sex was beautiful "or so i thought" although i am not on any form of birth control and not ready for a child ... i took a medication to prevent a possible pregnancy because he nor i wanted children and i got very sick from it ..... ended up in hospital ... the night i came home from the hospital i was laying in my room and we were cuddling he was being sweet and everything ... then disappeared for a long while .... i found out he went to watch porn .... while i wasn't feeling good ... from trying only to satisfy his needs ...... it hurt me deeply ... so badly i had a nervous breakdown .... i ended up cutting my arms and legs from top to bottom i felt so depressed ... we moved passed it i got better ... & he did it again even tho i gave him sex when he wanted.
- —Guest no hope.
re: I Know
- So, you had a physical affair, because your husband watched porn? What a horrible person you are!
- It hurts, I don't want it to but it does, and the hurt is so bad. It used to sting just a little when I would discover my husbands lies and what he was really doing. Now, 6 years later, the trust issues we have because of years and years of deception is our biggest problem. A lot of times I don't feel anything anymore, I'm just empty about it. I'm drained. I just want to feel like I used to, I want to get mad. But I can't, I just sit and sob when the emotions flood in, and when they're gone, they're gone and nothing comes to replace them. If I could give one word of advice to men in the situations: don't lie. No matter what, don't lie, it makes the hurt 10000x worse and eventually it will make your woman nothing but a shell of a person.
- —Guest YourWife
To Writer Doug
- Wow! You sound like the type of guy that all our mothers and/or fathers warned us about. This forum is about our spouses being addicted to sex. If you want to complain to people about how unhappy you are in your life go find a different form. So children aren't your forte and oral sex hasn't become a daily routine for you. Big deal! At least she not looking at better looking guys than you. But maybe she should for you to grow up! You sound like a very selfish and rude little man! Shame on you!
- —Guest Shame on you doug