Porn Does Affect Marriages
- I, too, have been affected by a husband who loves porn, gay porn. I knew he watched it before we got married but he had stopped. He canceled internet & cable & stopped his rental memberships. We were good for the first few years of marriage. Had a great sex life. We weren't like bunnies or anything as we were in our mid-thirties, but we were both attracted to each other. We have been married almost seven years. The last 2 have been almost completely sexless. Maybe 2x in 2 years. He used to let me play with him, but not now. He doesn't seem to care. When I try to initiate any intimate contact, he shrugs me off. If I try to kiss him passionately, he pushes me away. He still likes to hug & give me a peck of a kiss now & then, but that's it. He likes to watch gay porn but has a parental block on the smartphone. However, he can still see shirtless men and he masturbates to that. He masturbates in the shower with me in the next room sleeping. I am sad & don't know what to do.
- —Guest Hurt, sad and lonely
I Have Nothing Left
- After 27 years of marriage to a man that would rather watch porn in secret than make real love to me, I am done. He has blamed me for lack of sex in our marriage, when he is masturbating to porn and has nothing left for me.he tells his peers, close friends, and even his sister that I have issues and don't want to make love. Nothing could be furthur from the truth. I am very sexual, but I cannot compete with the porn stars he watches. I think I need to get a divorce. He lies to me. and makes me feel that I am the sole reason why we never have sex. He tells his friends that I have menopause and no longer want to make love. People refer him to self help books on how to deal with a menopausal wife. It is not me!! He tells everyone lies about me. I have no dignity left. I have nothing left. w We meet in college, married, and have three sons. I don't understand how he can do this to me. We were best friends. now he blames ME for all the bad behavior, and lying. I have nothing left. '
- —Guest jukema
Could Not Live With the Filth
- When I first met my husband, I tried watching porn with him but after awhile it got to me spiritually and mentally and I couldn't accept it as part of ours or his life. He promised to quit but I kept catching him over and over again, and each time the feeling of anger and betrayal was stronger. I am a very attractive woman even at 40, and this all started when we first met when I was 29. I know he still has this filthy habit and has just become a pro at hiding it from me. It has affected our relationship and our sex life. I have gone off all men entirely. Probably 90% of them are porn addicted, so I won't even bother with them now. I still feel sexy and sexual but I take care of my own needs, without needing to be a voyeur to ever-sickening scenes of sex. The degradation of women doesn't affect these men. It's a sad, pitiful industry full of lost souls who often die young. Men who forsake their marriages for their beloved porn are not worth our precious love, lives and devotion.
- —betteroffnow
Two Years Too Long
- Well, we are just a month shy of our second anniversary and we have had sex twice in 6 months. We are in our late 30's and him in his early 40's-relatively healthy. He watches porn and masterbated two-three times a day...most of the time I am home. I am here wanting him to touch me, kiss me, play with ME the woman who lets you do almost anything in the world...I have never withheld sex from him...nor do I shame masterbation. But he uses excuses as it is quicker and easier if I do it myself, sex is too much work, or he says I am tired....! He has an addiction to porn and masterbating. I am lonely, sad, frustrated, and mentally drained. He doesnt touch me anymore he would rather touch his cell phone keyboard and do porn and play with himself... I can see how people have affairs to get intimacy they need. I am not a cheater, but I can see why it happens. I am 39 and sexless with a mate I fall asleep with and wake up to who is addicted, greedy, selfish, and blind.
- —Guest SexlessAt39
Lie after Lie
- Reading this makes me feel not alone, because i read how so many people are ok with theire husband watching porn and i'm not. Well i'm 22 years old and i been with my husband 4 years and i have always found porn since we were just dating but he will always lie telling it wasn't his, but than when we got together i started to find porn on his fone and lie about that too telling me his friends were the ones that got on it. Later on when i got pregnant he wouldn't touch me or look at me and i started to find even more porn and i started to feel even really sad, depressed and ugly and i'm not. I'm thin tall hispanic and attractive but he makes me feel like im nothing and i just had my baby. and again i find more porn and he lies to my face and try to make more excuses but this time i told to "SHUT UP" and to stop lying to me, but he still lies and truly i'm tire and i dont know what to do anymore, he calls me beutiful but i just dont feel like that, What shoul i do?
- —Guest Linda
Two Can't Walk Together Unless ,,,
- I need to start with some rhetorical questions that speak to your inner person. Does problems exist in your relationship? If I stab you will you feel pain? Men: Do you feel like in order to get sex you have do every thing your Love asks and that it truly just dethrones you? Women: Do you feel like you do everything that your man is insensitive to your needs? Well, that's life! Don't believe inthe bible that's your prorogative. But read Gen 3:15 because it the very reason opposition exist between man and woman. When man fell it was because he felt like he had to always listen to his wife. Women fell because she wanted lead. So our roles were flipped. Man failed to lead now lead. Woman failed to submit now submit. So problems are problems, fix them! Switch places see how it feels. Would you like it? We talk about porn like its the problem it's not. The failure to support your spouse's wants, needs, and yes, even weakness, is why a married couple fails.
- —Guest I am a Man
Lost
- Been with my boyfriend 3 n half years. He told me he thought guys,who watched porn were dumb and he would never do that to me because I was all he needed to get off on not other women. Now he watches porn. I have made videos,for him. I dress up for him. He started doing it in October that I know of and hasn't stopped. Even after I latest in his arms crying how I thought I was bad in bed. not pretty enough. He said that's not true that I am. But I checked his gmail web history and can see when he does and its usally before he comes to see me or when were texting. I feel unattractive. Today he came over and I had just asked if he would hold me and he said no. I got on his cell. We look at eachothers cells and I opened his internet browser and he had a porn site that he just watched before he came to see. me. I was hurt and he quickly try to take his cell away. I cried and he try to comfort me but then got up and left. He was supposta visit with me the entire day. I feel hurt.
- —Guest lil red
I May Be Crazy But This Fueled Insanity!
- For years I thought I had the perfect man. The one who would never hurt me or make me freel inferior or undesired. Opposite from all my past failures.... He and my family are my world. found porn, few arguments, few talks, have made a mad effort to satisfy all his desires and yet, i am passed up again for some raunchy chick's behind. Why am I not enough for him???? It tears a piece of my heart out each time. I fear that there will be nothing left to give to anyone... not him, not myself... or even my children. I feel like a shell of a woman... and not even of a woman... How can someone who loves me the I think he does continue to push me into this dark lonely hole. Tired. Hurt. Lonely..unsatisfied
- —Guest j
Denial and Hurt
- My husband looks at porn on his phone and then denies it. I know. How do I know, well I check his phone history of course. Then I sit and watch him lie to my face about it! I recently outed him about it and he really could't say too much and to be honest I do believe that I might be giving up and just plain tired of getting pissed over the same thing over and over again so I give up! I am hurt but I think I am over it not sure if I mean the marriage or just being angry.
- —Guest me
Mummy 911
- To my husband, we have been together 7 years and I curse the day I bloody well married you! We have 2 beautiful kids and you been watching porn with your work colleagues. What have I done to deserve this? I'm a broken woman I should have left you the first time u lied to me! I left my whole family to b with a scrubber like you my dad thinks you were the wrong choice and now I can see why just the fact you are untrustworthy! I hate you with passion this is the last time.
- —Guest Sonia
Why?
- I understand that men objectify woman on a daily basis. I understand how objectifying women has become a golden industry. I believe the workers in the industry should be respected as people who are working. But, supply meets demand, so if no one supported the industry, it would not be around. My husband has a porn addiction.Each time I've approached him about it, he says that he'll stop, that it's not bc he doesn't love me,that real sex with me is way better. He lied to me about watching it, again, & this time I'm just done. I feel sorry for him. In exchange for porn he gets: no family, no super hot wife, no chance to see his kids growing up. I will not allow my children to be raised by a liar who only sees others as instruments of pleasure or displeasure. Why did I marry this guy? He won't initiate sex anymore, he is totally spacey about everything in our relationship, he never appreciates me..but he says he loves me and our kids. But if he truly did, then he'd respect me & our famil
- —Guest So sad
It Doesn't Have to Wreck Anything!
- First of all, let me say that I have been where you ladies have been. When I first found out that my husband looks at porn, I was absolutely crushed. I felt like I wasn't good enough for him, like he would rather look at porn than have sex with me. To be honest, I almost left him. However, I have since had my eyes opened, and I have never, ever felt better. I talked to him about it one day, rather than holding the hurt inside. He explained to me why he enjoys it, which is because it helps him relieve stress. We decided that our lack of communication was probably the real root of the problems associated with it, not the fact he was looking at porn. We decided that we would talk about it if it happened, and he wouldn't do it while I am with him. I researched porn myself, and I realized that I had many preconceived ideas about it. It isn't actually as degrading as people think it is. Honestly, I didn't find it offensive. We are completely open with it now, and our sex hasn't suffered.
- —Guest Happily Married
I Lost the Love of My Life Over it
- I was never an addict and watched some porn here and there over the years mainly out of curiosity. My recently ex girlfriend just dumped me for good this (2nd) time because of it. Other than the looking at some porn a few times on my phone, we had the most beautiful relationship for the past 2 years. Our intamacy was so beautiful and I always had my heart and emotions into her everytime we were intimate. It took me 2 times to finally realize how much she despises porn and I had it on my phone and she saw it. She had also looked up my YouTube history and found that I searched for butts one time or something like that. I quite honestly dont remember exactly and didnt watch the whole thing, but nevertheless I did it. I denied it each time because I was so embarrassed and when she talked to me about it I felt so ashamed. Other than the porn issue, I was totally and completely honest with her about everything else in my life. I look back now and feel so ashamed of myself. Say a prayer for
- —Guest Tom
Trying to Deal W/ Being Married to Porn
- Second marriage . First was other women this marriage porn, mastabation and sex maybe once a month.... At this point I'm tired and going to buy a vibrate to get my job done.
- —Guest Tam
Help
- Hi everyone, i have been reading all of your responses for over a week now. I am sorry for all that have been hurt ..i feel for all of u. I had suspicions that my husband was looking at porn. One night he rushed to tend to my 20 mnth old when she let out a cry. I felt that i had to check his computer. I found that he was on a porn site. I asked him or rather told him that i know what he does on his computer.. and he said i was crazy. The fact that it was Live and that you can have 'private' chats with these girls really shocked me. I have been trying to cope. In the meantime we have an appt to start marriage counseling in a couple of weeks. I was browsing on his computer today and found pictures of one particular girl all from different dates starting from 2011-august 2012... maybe 4 pictures in total. What are your thoughts on this. I need opinions... i am very confused about all of this. I am trying so hard to fight my hurt ..i feel nauseous and distracted. Please help out ...thank you
- —Guest scg
