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Readers Respond: Ways to Tell If Your Spouse is a Liar

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  • Eyes Wide Open.

    I feel like I live with and am married to a complete stranger.We have been together 16 years and ten months we have been married 15 years and 1 month. twice he has cheated on me in those years and I have cheated on him once. I get that gut gut GUT feeling and its like I have no control over myself until a logical exploitation is found...well I am not allowed to ever even insinuate that he has told a lie. He used to tell me I could do NO wrong, well if that was ever the truth he would not find so much fault in most of what I do and say now. If I have questions he will usually get extremely defensive and give me ever possible way that it couldn't be what I believe it to be. the best way to discribe it is that I feel like I get all the bad from us and someone else is getting ALL of the good stuff. He says I love you I wanna grow old with you...But then the way he acts like he is hiding stuff from me. I feel like whatever this is it must be so bad that he will never admit it or he loves so
    —Guest T Boned

    Lying Tells

    My ex was a classic "eyes just started flitting back and forth" type of a liar. So funny now that I asked her calmly where she was going one Sat nite and watched her eyes in the mirror as she was getting ready to go out as she blurted out "to the show with some other moms." I said "which one?" She reacted angrily "I don't know yet". LOL Who decides to go tot he show and doesn't know which one? I borrowed a friend's car and followed her that night and was divorced 20 days later. Cheating tramp. Now for the question - she frequently now makes statements like "was really busy today" or didn't see your text" The thing is they always lack the "I" pronoun. I think this is a sign of lying too. What do you all think? Editor's Note: When I text, I tend to leave out the "I" in a sentence because of character limits. Doesn't mean I'm telling a lie!

    Search For Evidence

    A lying spouse is my enemy ..... not my friend. I search for everything I can find to nail him. Like threaded papers he forgot to dispose ..... putting them bit by bit together. I never stop questioning and cross questioning ..... then the contradictions step in .... bam! I use his words against him. But guess what? Even then he maintained the lie. Why? He'd never scar his "character". He knows women never forget. I know he lies when he start
    —Guest Soyini

    Gut/Reality of What They Say

    My husband gets angry, real angry, runs away. Gets in your face. Tries to make it my fault. Or makes me feel sorry for him. He comes in and says see, before anything is even asked or said. Makes excuses for why he is gone so long that don't make any sense. He drinks and tries to hide it from me. When I ask if he has been drinking he looks at me along time and says no! Takes too long to answer. Forms his sentences very slowly like he is trying to think of what he is going to say next. I have told him these are all classic signs of lies. I used to do this for a living. How did I miss it though while we were dating? I had some suspicions but I think I was so in love and I still am, but I don't trust him anymore. I want that trust back. But he has to earn it, and he can't see that.

    Gut Feelings

    I ask him the same question weeks apart get diffent answers. I ask him to explain a certain office workers sayings or interjections he fumbles with the events and how they took place. I ask who he was talking with and the person was not even there. I cry beg plead for the truth and he can not look me in the eye until he can muster his emotions. Any reciept that would clear or nail him to the truth that has the time of day is always missing. He says he is at the office for the rest of the day you go there and he is gone yet comes home late trying to say things changed he had to go to check on a site. Office people say she won't stay out of his office he says she only came in once and it was short and sweet and always just business. Every time you go look for him at a company function he is with her. He leaves you sick to fend for yourself but feels like parting into the wee hours with his co workers. Is given multitude of gift cards for restaurants yet never takes you, he gave them away
    —Guest Karen

    You Will Know When....

    ....he answers with a question. ...he stops saying "SORRY" when he's late.! ....he says "I don't know what your saying"! ...he walks away & conversation stops.! ....he gets that stupid grin, after causing an argument to steer you off the topic.! ...he instantly gets mad before there is even a reason to get mad! ....he's that "REAL ROTTEN" type of a person when a couple months later the topic comes up again and he denies that the 2 of you ever had the conversation at all!!

    Lying Is In Her Blood

    She is always lying ...could you believe I didn't know the real her for like 1 yr of our relationship... sad... Idon't really know what to do...
    —Guest momo donald

    Bide Your Time

    Act slightly 'off' when they come home - slightly annoyed or abrupt. If they are guilty they tend to hang around, rather than going on with whatever they usually do when they get home. They mull around waiting to be confronted or to see if they think you are on to them. Works best if you are busy and can observe them non-directly.
    —Guest AniLizor

    Trust Your Gut

    I am recently engaged, prior to my engagement, I found a receipt from a jewelry store for the purchase of a diamond engagemt ring. I asked my partner he said he couldn't remember if he as engaged then he said he wasn't, and i let it go, but knew someday the truth would come out i hoped it would be from him. Once I met friends & family everyone would tell me they loved that he had found someone like me. That they hated his ex & couldn't believe they were going to get married & they were engaged. I had to act as though I had already known. I thought too I was worth the truth. He's a liar & a cheater!!
    —Guest Wasted time

    Deer In the Headlights Look

    My wife gets the classic deer in the headlights look. She thinks she's getting away with something. Hee hee!
    —Guest mrbill78

    How to Tell a Lie

    Your gut tells you the truth, believe in it. You just know a lie when you hear one. Do your research, google how to tell when someone is lying, you will see what guidelines the police use. SPY! Nothing to me felt worse than not knowing the truth. Wanting to believe I was worth the truth.

    All the Above and More ...

    Hubby's done all of the above. He accuses me of being jealous if I ask questions about anything or anyone. It's like I am to believe him even when it's obvious he is lying. Once a woman in a bar talked about the great times they spent together and sorry she didn't write; to please get a cell phone, everyone has one. He ignored her. So I said he acts that way sometimes and she verbally attack me about interfering with her and her friends conversation. I said I was just trying to help her out because she seemed concerned that he was not talking to her. She ask what concern it was of mine and I said I was not sure but I should know how he acts because we had been married 20+ years. She put her fist in her mouth and ran out of the business. He says he didn't know her and she was drunk. Then there's the woman he held hands with at a play. By evenings end she was rubbing his crotch. In front of everyone. He said she was drunk & he did nothing wrong. It's getting old & so am I.
    —Guest bonnie

    Going Quiet

    My x partner would go guiet when confronted, and within minutes do the clear of the throat and the hmmm business and then he would make the retreat to the bathroom - cowards! lol.
    —Guest annnie


    ...there are so many ways to tell. Mine has done all those things, and more. And most of the time, it's over stupid stuff I would not get mad about to begin with.

    Belly Button Test...

    Experts say that a man or woman will turn their lower body away from you when they're lying. Make sure he/she is facing you head-on (no sitting) when you question them. Works everytime.
    —Guest pookie

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    Ways to Tell If Your Spouse is a Liar

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